What happens when it fades?
by DreamFlight
Summary: Not your conventional continuation. After three years, Hitomi returns to Gaea for a visit. A visit that results in huge changes for everyone involved after all, having Dilandau for a roommate has to shake things up a bit, right?
1. Chapter 1

_**What happens when it fades?**_

* * *

**_Chapter 1: You mean there's more to life than love?_**

Hitomi could just picture the look on Van's face when she told him the news. She steeled herself, "He cares about me." She whispered to herself, "He'll understand. He'll want me to be happy."

Somehow she didn't entirely believe it.

Having graduated near the top of her class, and with her excellent track times, she'd been a shoe-in for the college scholarship. She hadn't even known that the college scout had been there the day she broke the regional record for the 100 m sprint. It wasn't as if she'd been _trying_ to get that scholarship.

But the offer was just too good to refuse. Her parents had been beaming the day she got the letter announcing that not only was she accepted to her dream school, she was being offered a full scholarship (on the condition she was on the track team of course!) She closed her eyes for a moment and relived the pride she'd felt receiving that letter. It was everything she'd ever wanted, almost. She'd finally be competing against the best, and if she was really good, she could have a chance at making the National team.

Unbidden, Van's face appeared behind her closed eyelids. Her green eyes fluttered open and she sighed. But how do you tell the love of your life that you're going to have to be apart for several more years? She continued packing clothes into her travel bag. It had taken some deal-making, but she'd finally convinced her parents to let her do some "traveling" this summer. She'd been able to see Van in her dreams, and whenever they thought about each other, but three years was a very long time. It was time for a visit. She'd been promising to return to Gaea once she finished high school.

Of course she wanted to go more than anything. She was a young woman now, not quite the girl Van had met, and it had been a long three years, watching all her friends find their first boyfriends, watching couples hugging and holding hands, watching them kiss. Hitomi sighed happily. It would be very nice to actually do those things, not just dream about them.

"OK," she surveyed her bag, "that's everything."

* * *

The sun was just creeping up the horizon, colouring the sky with the first pink blushes of day. Hitomi stood on the high school track watching the sunrise. Thank goodness there are such early flights, she thought. Her parents had been adamant they take her to the airport, until she told them the flight was leaving at 5 am. She hated lying to her family, but else could she do? One day she'd have to tell them about Gaea, she just wasn't sure how they would take it.

Gaea, she thought. The green fields, the clean air, the mountains, the man she loved. She was ready to return, if only for a few months. The pink light enveloped her and she felt the long awaited pull of Gaea.

* * *

The first few weeks went by in a blur. She'd forgotten how wonderful Gaea could be when there was no fighting going on. All the friends she had made visited, at least those who could. King Aston had passed away in the intervening years, and now Millerna and Dryden were busy ruling Asturia, but Allan and his sister Cerena assured Hitomi that they both regretted that they could not visit her. Asturia was in the middle of some elaborate trade dispute that no one really wanted to be in. And Van couldn't exactly leave his kingdom to go visiting as yet. The rebuilding was entering its final stages, which for some reason required more supervision – now the disputes were beginning.

Hitomi shook her head at the thought. It seemed to be so much work to run a kingdom smoothly. How her friends managed it, she wondered if she'd ever know. Part of her whispered that she would, it was only too obvious that Van wanted her to stay and eventually be his queen. He'd been waiting so long for her afterall.

This was where it tore Hitomi apart. She knew she had to tell Van soon that she wasn't actually staying. And that it would be several years before she could. Now, more than ever, she realized how young she felt compared to her friends. She didn't feel capable of ruling a kingdom! She didn't know near enough. She consoled herself with the thought that she could take courses at university in law and history, surely with a good background she would feel better at the thought.

In the pit of her stomach there was a knot of fear though. How would Van take this? Would he be able to accept her telling him that as much as she loved him she needed to do other things first? That she needed to accomplish things before she would feel ready to stay beside him the way he wanted her to.

* * *

The moon was high in the sky, a pale ghost beside the vibrant Mystic Moon behind it. The palace gardens were bathed in pale blue light. Hitomi walked through them slowly, savouring the scent of the gorgeous flowers Van had chosen to grace the palace grounds. She wandered through the moonlight, aware of another presence in the gardens, and enjoying the subtle chase.

Eventually, the raven-haired king caught up to his quarry and took the young woman's hand. "Hitomi," he breathed, his lips catching her's in a gentle kiss. She could have melted with joy. These moments with him were too perfect. It was everything she'd ever wanted, almost. She squashed the butterflies in her stomach. She had to be firm on this.

"Van, I need to talk to you. I… I feel I need to explain myself a bit." She murmured hesitantly.

"Hitomi," he murmured back, brushing her hand with a kiss, "I've waited all these year's for you, you have no need to explain anything. I know your family is on Earth, and I know you needed them in your life. I know how important finishing school was for you, and how much your running meant to you. You have nothing to explain. I love you, and you're back in my arms, and it is all I could ever ask for."

She almost fainted from this strange eloquence Van had acquired over the past several years. He had changed so much from that abrupt, hot-headed youth she'd first met. But something tugged on the corner of her mind. He'd been speaking in past tense! He thought she was there to stay. Her heart sank. This could be more difficult than she'd hoped it might be.

"Van," she said carefully, sensing the slight stiffening of her lover's form at the tone of her voice. "I'm….I… I can't… I can't stay." She turned her bright eyes away from Van's shocked face. "There was a scout at one of my races, and I broke the regional record, and I did so well in all my classes, and my parents were so proud when they found out, and everyone expects so much from me, I can't rule a country!" It was all spilling out now. There was no order to any of this, and it wasn't even coherent! Hitomi forced herself to regain her composure. "What I mean to say is, I've been offered a place, and a very generous scholarship, to go to a college in my country. I'll have a chance to be on the National track team, and I'll be able to further my studies. I need to go back, because I'm not ready to stay here yet. There's so many things I need to do before I can settle down here."

She dared finally to sneak a peak at Van's face. His chocolate brown eyes looked empty and a little cold, as if in disbelief. "Oh Van," she whispered. "I don't want to hurt you!"

He stared at her for a moment. "You could have fooled me. When were you going to tell me any of this?"

"I'm telling you now!"

The young king just stood there, every muscle in his body screaming "stubborn".

Hitomi sighed. "I know you want me to stay. I know you want me to stay here with you. I know you need to find a wife, someone to be queen. I'm not worthy of being that person yet."

His eyes softened. "Yes you are." He whispered, "I love you and I want you. I know you will be wonderful. I meant to ask you something tonight…"

Hitomi had to cut him off. "Van! Would you listen to me? I don't feel ready to be a queen! Not your's or anyone's! I can't do it! I don't know enough. By going to university I feel that I'll feel more confident. This is something I _need_ to do to feel confident in myself!"

"But I love you…" Van trailed off.

"But there's more to life than just love!" Hitomi cried, shocking herself. Did she really mean that?

"More to life than love?" echoed Van, a very strange expression settling on his feature. "What do you _mean_ there's more to life than love?"

To Be Continued….

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Mwahaha… OK, so it was very slow for a beginning. cowers in fear Its just not the type of story that I can start in an explosion though! Maybe next chapter… I promise it will pick up. I'm sorta basing it on some issues I'm having with my own life though, so I apologize for all the introspective thinking. I have great plans for action. I really do. I think.


	2. Chapter 2

**_What happens when it fades?_**

* * *

sheepish: So guess what I forgot? 

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne. (This counts for chapter 1 too.)

_**Chapter 2: Who do you think you are?**_

"More to life than love?" echoed Van, a very strange expression settling on his features. "What do you _mean_ there's more to life than love?"

Hitomi shuffled her feet nervously. Maybe that last bit had been going a little far.

"I've waited three years for you to come back! I've fought off dozens of my advisors attempts to find me a suitable bride, I've been patiently waiting – and now, _now_ you tell me that it wasn't enough? That you need more time?" Van's eyes flashed dangerously. "How much time do you need?"

"Four years." Hitomi replied softly.

The fire in Van's eyes flared brighter. Hitomi watched as he spun on his heel and stomped off into the moonlight. "Van!" she called out to his retreating figure.

"I need to be alone." He called back, without turning around. "I need to think."

Hitomi stood in shock. "That definitely could have gone better." she whispered weakly into the night. Unconsciously she raised her eyes to the Mystic Moon hanging in the sky; she had never hated the sight more than she did at that moment. Her eyes dull, she trudged back through the gardens, the sweet perfume of the flowers mocking her now.

"I'm such an idiot." She moaned as she fell back onto her bed. Her head swam with the events of the evening. Of course he was frustrated, she couldn't blame him. She could just imagine the pressure he was under. But didn't he see that at this point in her life she just wasn't ready? She would crumble under similar pressure. Tears rose unbidden. She choked back a sob. "I'm such an idiot!"

"Well there's no arguing that." A feminine voice snarled from her window. "Who the hell do you think you are? Lord Van has been waiting for you for three years and you come back pretending everything is peachy and you're here to stay. Then you smash his heart into little pieces because you're a wimp?" Over the intervening years Merle may have grown up, but her loyalty to Van never wavered.

Hitomi raised her head to look at the figure silhouetted in the moonlight. Merle looked more like Naria or Eriya than the young cat-girl she had grown to know the last time she was here. Dangerous, Hitomi realized, Merle looked downright dangerous at that moment. She sighed, tempted to brace herself for a catfight.

Instead Merle leapt gracefully from the window into the room. She stood beside the bed Hitomi still lay on. "You never grow up do you?" she demanded. "You're pulling the same stunts you did three years ago. It's shameful really."

Hitomi sat up. "Merle, in my world, I'm barely an adult! Everyone here seems so much more mature and prepared and brave than I am."

Merle snorted, "No kidding?" she replied with a sarcastic drawl. "Maybe you should try growing up then."

Hitomi shook her head. "I need time to do that. That's why I want to go back again. I want to go to college so I can study things that would let me come back here and be helpful instead of just a hindrance. I want to help Van and the people here. Earth has so much that could help people here."

Merle frowned. "Then why didn't you do anything during the past three years?"

Hitomi sighed. How to answer that? "I have a life there too Merle. My running means so much to me. And I have been trying to learn as much as I can about everything. It's just that there's so much more I can learn. And you yourself said it, I need to become more mature, and that isn't something I can do overnight."

Merle's tail twitched. What Hitomi was saying did make sense, in some ways. It didn't make hurting Lord Van right though. "You had no right to pretend you were staying though!" she spat back at Hitomi.

"I never said I was staying to anyone."

Merle bit her lip. This was true. Everyone had just assumed she would be staying since she'd been promising to come back for so long. Maybe Lord Van was the one who had misinterpreted everything. She shook her head, but Lord Van was Lord Van! He was where her loyalty lay, and somehow this scolding of Hitomi wasn't going her way. She scowled at Hitomi. "What is it on the Mystic Moon that makes it so much more wonderful than here? Why don't you want to stay? Can't you see you're hurting Lord Van?"

Hitomi sighed. How could she make Merle understand? "Merle, what would you do if you were suddenly transported to another world? What if you fell in love with someone there? Would you be able to leave Gaea and Van and everyone here without a second thought? Would you be able to give up everything in your life, everything you wanted and hoped for, for love?"

Merle seemed a bit taken aback, she had never really considered Hitomi's situation that way. "But… I couldn't leave Lord Van." She stuttered.

"Not even for love?" asked Hitomi.

Merle stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. "Whatever. You still hurt Lord Van, and I still hate you for doing it." She muttered as she prowled the hallways of the palace. Part of her couldn't shake the question though. She wouldn't leave Lord Van for love. But what was holding Hitomi to Earth? What couldn't she give up for love? "Stupid Mystic Moon freak, who do you think you are?"

* * *

So… things still haven't picked up much. But I feel like I need to set up the situation. I have big plans for next chapter though. It'll be great! Less angst I promise, and longer. This chapter is so short cause I have a midterm to study for, but I need to get ideas on paper or I forget them. 

'Tis still my first fic too….any criticisms?


	3. Chapter 3

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: I still do not own Escaflowne. sniffle

Eeep. So I think in Chapter 1 I may have spelt Celena Schezar's name Cerena… one hundred apologies. I've got it right for this chapter.

* * *

**_Chapter 3: Frustrated_**

Hitomi awoke to find her room filled with sunshine. She started when she heard the gentle tapping at the door. Van surely wasn't ready to talk again yet, and Merle would have just stomped in. Hitomi stared at the door, "Who is it?" she called out, her voice cracking. Well that's what I get for crying all night, she thought, rolling her eyes at herself.

"It's me, Celena." said a soft voice from behind her door. Hitomi was a bit confused, Celena? What could she want?

"Come in." Only one way to find out, Hitomi thought. She was certain her face betrayed her surprise when Celena walked in, pale green skirts swishing around her legs, carrying a tray crowded with breakfast foods. "When you didn't come down to breakfast we figured you might be hungry." Celena's eyes watched Hitomi carefully, judging and analyzing the girl she'd heard so much about.

"It is really good. The kitchen staff made buttermilk scones. I couldn't bare the thought of you missing them." The look on Celena's face could have melted the hardest heart; it was so like that of a child. Absolute trust and hope shone from her eyes. Hitomi found it hard to believe this girl before her had once "been" Dilandau.

Hitomi took the tray, "Thank you so much Celena. I must admit I didn't feel like getting up at all today. And now I'm starving."

"Tears will do that for you." Celena replied, seating herself on a corner of Hitomi's queen-sized bed. "I'm sorry if I presume too much, but I really would like to get to know you. I've heard so much about you." You have no idea, Celena thought, _how_ much. "And I sort of heard what happened between you and King Van last night…" Celena trailed off uncertainly. Upon seeing the look of worry in Hitomi's eyes she laughed. "You weren't yelling loudly, don't worry about that! I was out walking in the gardens too, and I happened to overhear what happened."

Hitomi wasn't quite sure what to say. "I'm an idiot…" she started.

"Don't say such stupid things." Celena cut her off. "What you told him sounded perfectly reasonable to us!"

"Us?" Hitomi whispered, noticing the plural. Celena gasped softly at her slip. "You mean _more_ people overheard all that?" Celena let out a long breathe that sounded suspiciously like a sigh of relief. She looked at the now miserable young woman beside her and sighed again. She couldn't really let Hitomi think that she'd made a fool of herself, it wouldn't really be fair.

"Well, no." Celena said softly.

"But you said 'us'. I heard you. You don't have to pretend for my benefit." Hitomi said sulkily.

"Hitomi," Celena rose softly from the bed and headed for the bedroom door she'd left ajar. She closed the door ever so carefully and sat this time in a chair on the other side of the room from where Hitomi still sat dejected on the bed. "Can you keep a secret? A really big secret? One you can tell no one. Particularly not Allan?"

Hitomi watched the girl in wary surprise. What was all this about? Celena seemed like such a strange enigma. All the times she'd seen her before during her visit, she had been with Allan. She was always sewing or reading some book "suitable" for young ladies as Allan put it. Her giggles had been faint and suppressed, and her manner always somewhat childish. But now she was acting so much older, and, melodramatic? Hitomi smiled, she was acting a lot like the other girls her age did on Earth. "Of course." She replied.

Celena watched Hitomi for a long moment, suspicion and something akin to fear in her pale blue eyes. They were a far cry from the childish trust she'd being wearing when she entered the room. "I can hear Dilandau."

Hitomi almost fell off her bed in shock. "What?" she squeaked. "Celena it's important you don't listen to him! He's a horrible…"

Again Celena cut her off. "Horrible person, murderer, evil, psychotic, pyromaniac, yes, I'm aware!" She waved her hand as if to dismiss all of it. "But none of you know him like I do. The whole time I was him, I was still there. We have two separate minds and one lousy body. The trouble then was that I, being a child, let him keep me quiet. Personally, I can't justify doing that to him. He may have done a bunch of horrible things, I saw them, and I was there. There's a reason I barely spoke when I was first me again. But he's mellowing out. A few years behind my eyes have tamed him a bit. Besides, it's not like he can take control again or anything." Celena's laugh was anything but childish.

Hitomi shivered slightly. What on earth happened now? Was this some evil plan to attack her?

Celena looked at the tray of food. "Why aren't you eating yet? Really Hitomi, you could afford the calories a lot more than me, but if you don't start eating then I will!"

Hitomi was instantly reminded of Yukari. She wasn't sure what to do or think, but her stomach was growling, and the scones with whipped cream and strawberries did look awfully good.

* * *

Celena was again perched on the side of Hitomi's bed, helping herself to strawberries and cream while laughing with Hitomi. "Seriously! You should have seen this dress Allan wanted me to wear. It was bright pink, with about a hundred bows. I could just strangle whoever made that dress. Only a man could have designed it."

Hitomi smiled at her new friend. As strange as Celena was, she reminded her more of a normal person than anyone else here.

Celena became more sober and slightly more composed. "But really, back to you and Van… I don't think you're being unreasonable for wanting to go back to the Mystic Moon. I mean, if I had the opportunity you've been given I'd take it too, love or no love! I know how you feel, being unprepared. Allan's been training me how to play the part of Asturian lady for three years now, and it feels even faker than the childish act I put on to keep him happy. It's not right to have to spend your whole life acting and pretending to be someone you aren't. And the first thing to do to put yourself on that path is to start doing what other people tell you to, without considering first what you want." She sighed.

She shook her pale blonde locks, and a wicked smile spread itself across her pink lips. "Besides, I bet Van is just…frustrated." Her eyes twinkled in merriment as Hitomi figured out the innuendo.

"Celena!" she gasped. "Where do you come up with stuff like this?"

"I told you – I was there the whole time Dilandau was on the Vione. You think boys don't talk about all sorts of nasty, inappropriate things?" Celena gave her a wink. "Besides, I get the 24-hour Dilandau commentary everyday."

"Doesn't get annoying having a guy in your head all the time?" asked Hitomi, who had strangely come to accept this fact with ease. I suppose after a certain point nothing really surprises you, she thought to herself. Besides, if having him in her head was what made Celena so much like the girls at home, Hitomi couldn't really complain. This was as good as having Yukari to talk to.

"Well, yes. There's more than one reason I don't think very highly of guys. But at the same time, it's like I'm never really alone. There's always someone to talk to. And Dilly can be so amusing. He's the only reason I can put up with the books Allan chooses for me. He knows how to tell a story like it should be."

Hitomi looked at the blonde questioningly.

Celena laughed. "Allan always chooses books with weak heroines, saved from some horrendous fate by a brave knight. They then share one passionate kiss and live happily ever after. This of course means the knight gets to keep chasing maidens and hunting dragons and the heroine gets to sit at home and sew. Dilandau… tweaks the stories so that they actually sound realistic." Celena had a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Hitomi shook her head and laughed. She couldn't even begin to imagine. Just then a knock on the door startled the two girls. "Celena?" came Allan's voice. "Are you in there?"

Hitomi watched as Celena completely changed her demeanor. She straightened out her dress and quickly wiped the cream from her fingers. She ran a hand through her hair and smoothed it down and the sparkle fled from her eyes. "I'm in here brother. You don't have to worry. Hitomi was just telling me about her running."

Allan opened the door and smiled at his little sister sitting with Hitomi; it was so good to see that they were becoming friends. He got so worried about Celena sometimes. She was always so quiet, almost lost in her thoughts. It had been so good to hear girlish laughter coming from the room.

"Good afternoon Hitomi." He said courteously as he entered. "I've been looking for you all over, Celena." Hitomi watched in amusement as Celena offered up the same childish, trusting face she'd used when bringing in the tray.

"Allan," she said softly, "I just thought Hitomi might be hungry since she slept through breakfast. And I finished my sewing yesterday. I thought it might be nice to really meet Hitomi since we don't get to talk very much during meals."

Hitomi could have snickered. Before, she had figured that Celena was a very quiet, feminine creature, the antithesis to what Dilandau has been. Now she knew that this was all an act on her part. Celena knew Allan expected her to behave this way, and she feared that if she didn't he'd figure out Dilandau was still around.

* * *

Hitomi wandered around the palace a bit puzzled. She still couldn't figure out why she wasn't disturbed by the fact that Dilandau was still around. Maybe it's just because he's stuck inside Celena. She seems so strong really. She shook her head; it was a little weird the way Celena was trying to protect him. On the other hand, after being together for so long, she probably thought of him as a part of herself.

As she turned down a long, red carpeted hall, her thoughts turned back to one of the things Celena had said. So she thinks Van is just 'frustrated'. Hitomi smiled, there were just too many ways in which Celena reminded her of Yukari.

* * *

Any thoughts? Any criticisms? I had to drag Celena and Dilly into it. I love them too much not to. 


	4. Chapter 4

_**What happens when it fades?**_

Disclaimer: I still do not own Escaflowne. sniffle

This chapter will mostly be about Celena I think. I know I said the story is about Hitomi, and it is…I just have long range plans I need to set up for. That said, anything in "" is spoken, Celena's thoughts to Dilandau are in '', and Dilandau's thoughts are in _italics_.

****

* * *

****

**_Chapter 4: Now You've Done It_**

Celena was headed for the stables. It was more or less the only place she could go where her brother wouldn't follow her, mostly because she had a habit of riding away and not telling anyone where she was going. _Well now you've done it._

'Done what?' Celena asked innocently of the brooding albino who shared her body.

_You went and told the Mystic Moon bitch. You don't think she'll tell your pretty-boy brother and Van? _Dilandau snarled. _I told you not to tell anyone and you go and tell the enemy!_

'Hitomi is not the enemy. She's my friend. You're just going to have to deal with that. You need to stop thinking about people as being the enemy.'

_She's the reason behind everyone –_

'She is not the reason behind everyone being killed. You know that! Van killed them, because it was a war. If he hadn't killed them, they and you, would have killed him. It's not as if you gave him many options.' Celena listened to his silence before continuing. 'You have to come to terms with all this. I'm sick of being your bloody therapist!'

She waited for a reply, 'Fine! Sulk. You'll see everything will be fine. Besides, I need Hitomi to trust us.' That got his attention.

_Why does she need to trust us? _His voice was tinged in a tired boredom.

'Cause she's going to take us back to the Mystic Moon with her.'

* * *

Hitomi was confused. She'd been walking down this red carpeted hall for an awfully long time. She had yet to be down this hall, and wondered where on earth she was headed. "I don't understand! She's hurting you and you're just going to let her? It's not right Lord Van!"

Hitomi jerked her head around and faced the door she had just passed. That voice, that annoying voice, could only belong to Merle.

"I know what you think Merle, but I love her. She made it very clear that she needs more time, and that she doesn't feel ready. I don't understand it, but I love her, and I want her to be happy. I can't make her stay, and if I try to, I just risk losing her." Hitomi could hear Van's voice tighten. "I couldn't stand to lose her."

Hitomi could feel her throat tighten. He was going to accept her decision?

"If you say so Lord Van." Hitomi could hear the sadness in Merle's voice. "I just don't like to see you sad."

"I know Merle." The warmth was evident in Van's voice. There was a pause as if he hugged her. "I'll see you at breakfast."

Hitomi waited as the two friends said goodnight. She assumed since the door never opened that Merle had taken her usual route out the window. It was then she realized that this must be Van's bedroom. That could only mean she was in the part of the palace reserved for the royal family. The part she'd find herself living in if she were to marry Van. Were to marry Van, she shook her head, when I marry Van. It was pretty obvious he would ask eventually. A small smile found a way onto her face. It was such a relief to know he wasn't angry at her anymore.

She was about to head back down the hallway from the direction she had come in, when the door to Van's room creaked open. "Hitomi?" Van asked in surprise.

* * *

"Celena!" The stable boy said with a smile. "It's good to see you again."

Allan followed behind his lovely sister with a frown. "That's Lady Celena, to you. You shouldn't be too familiar with your betters."

"Of course, Sir Allan. My apologies Lady Celena, I was just so pleased to see you again. You are so very good with the horses." The young man's smile remained bright, though Allan regarded him with suspicion.

Celena rolled her eyes behind Allan's back. Who did he think he was always trying to protect her? _Your pretty boy brother. Who's insane in my opinion._

'I didn't ask your opinion.' Celena told Dilandau with narrowed eyes.

_I don't understand you. You take all sorts of liberties behind his back. Why not just tell him who you really are and do the things you want to do in the open? You know the only reason he hasn't found out about anything is because everyone is too afraid to tell him his baby sister isn't as innocent as he likes to think._

'I'm protecting you, moron.'

"Celena?" Allan was gazing at her in concern. "I asked if something was wrong."

"I thought I saw a rat." Celena lied quickly, widening her eyes into their usual innocent expression.

The stable boy just shook his head and smiled.

* * *

Hitomi just stood and stared at Van for a moment. She gulped. He was minus a shirt, with just a towel around his neck. She had seen him without a shirt before, well, last time she was on Gaea, but he had grown and toned. She didn't feel like finishing her thoughts.

"Hitomi, I wanted to apologize. I reacted poorly to what you said." Van started. "I thought that you were staying and it's just been so long, and I've been," he was searching for the right word, "missing you."

Hitomi gulped. It was taking everything she had to not jump on him and cover him in kisses for being so wonderful, and basically gorgeous. She thought back to Celena's comment: "Maybe he's just… frustrated." Hitomi stared at Van for a long second. He looked at her a bit worriedly, seeing as how she had yet to say anything.

In a moment she was in his arms, kissing him a little wildly.

* * *

Celena rode quickly through the forest. She couldn't believe Allan had walked her down to the stables. This was a new low for him. Every day she felt like he was leaving her with less and less freedom.

_If you ride much faster you might kill the horse._

'Shut up.' She told him, slowing to a canter. The horse's sides heaved. "I'm sorry Bluebell; I didn't realize how fast I was making you go." She patted the horse's neck and stroked her mane.

_So why are we going to the Mystic Moon?_

'It sounds interesting and I'm sick of being bored. Why?'

_When were you going to ask me about what I think?_

'I wasn't. I'm the one in control of this body and I decide where it goes!'

_OK, sorry I asked. _There was a long moment, filled with some resentment from Celena's end. _I just wanted to tell you I like it._

Celena was laughing as she rode into the stable. She slid off her horse and into the waiting arms of the stable boy. "Tom," she whispered, "It's good to see you again too." She leaned up and covered the young man's lips with her own. "I'm so very good with the horses, am I?"

_If I had eyes to roll, they'd be rolling out of my eye sockets right now._

'Shut up.'

_I'm just saying. It's not like he's even a good kisser._

'Let me have my fun.'

* * *

Hitomi awoke to the pale light of dawn, and watched the way the pale pink light played on the scarlet curtains. Scarlet curtains? My curtains are cream, she thought. She attempted to sit up in bed, only to find herself tangled in her lover's embrace. She smiled and snuggled closer to him. Her last thought as she drifted back into sleep in his warm embrace, now you've really done it, Hitomi.

To be continued...

* * *

So as it turns out my Celena isn't as nice as everyone else's. I like her. She's got spunk. And I feel that as Allan's little sister, there's really no reason she can't be a bit of a player too. Feel free to disagree. :P 


	5. Chapter 5

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: I still do not own Escaflowne.

Remember, anything in "" is spoken, Celena's thoughts to Dilandau are in '', and Dilandau's thoughts are in _italics_.

* * *

**_Chapter 5: Where You Want To Be_**

The month sped by, and it seemed like only moments to Hitomi before she was sitting in her room, staring morosely at her bag. She knew she should start packing. She leaned back across her bed and contemplated everything that had happened in the past few months. She stared softly at the small gold ring wrapped around one of the fingers of her hand. It didn't look like much, but Hitomi had known the instant Van slipped it on her finger that it had been the engagement ring Van's mother had worn. He never said a word about it, but she knew how real, how true his feelings for her were.

She sat up and with a sigh began to pack her bag, knowing that in just a few more years she would be unpacking this bag for the last time. The thought brought a smile to her face, and a distant look to her eyes. She paused in her packing to daydream, and jumped when the door suddenly creaked open.

"I knew you wouldn't be packing!" Celena cried, marching into the room. "I knew I would have to come up here and help you myself!" She looked slightly triumphant that her prediction had been right.

"You said you would be here an hour ago." Hitomi said with a smile. Celena had rapidly become a close friend, and had begged Allen to let her stay in Fanelia until Hitomi left, claiming that she never got to spend time with anyone her own age and gender. Allen was his usual, easy to manipulate self, and Celena had gotten her wish. "Spending some extra time with the horses?" Hitomi asked with a slight smirk. She was one of the few people around the castle who knew of Celena's "relationship" with the stable boy.

Celena didn't even bat an eyelash. "Tom is showing me how to do jumps. It's a very practical skill for horseback riding you know. I mean, what if I was riding and a big hedge got in my way?"

Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Uh huh. That story may work on Allen, but don't expect me to believe it, Celena. Just don't let Tom know about Sir Rorkin." Hitomi paused. "Or vice versa, Rorkin might be one of the few people who wouldn't be afraid of telling Allen about your … recreational activities."

Celena's innocent smile drooped a little. "You don't think he would say anything do you? I don't actually want to hurt Allen. And he'd be so mortified if he knew I'd been kissing anyone, let alone several anyones."

_So when can we tell him?_ Dilandau sounded almost gleeful.

'Never.'

_You're never any fun. _

Hitomi shook her head at her friend who looked as though she was in the middle of silent argument. She'd become quite used to this odd behaviour of Celena's. She was very good at pretending Dilandau wasn't commentating when she was around Allen, but she had informed Hitomi that this generally meant that she'd be up half the night in an unending, inane argument.

Celena suddenly smiled. "So where should we begin?" she asked, gazing at the belongings strewn all around Hitomi's room.

"Anywhere." replied Hitomi. "It all goes in the bag."

* * *

An hour or so later, Celena and Hitomi were sitting on her bed, staring in shock at the bulging bag that now rested on the floor. "You really think you can carry that?" Celena asked her friend. "I know you've kept up your training for track, but that bag is rather ridiculous."

"It looks like there's a dead body in it." admitted Hitomi. "I don't know why, its not like there's anything in it I didn't bring when I came." She shook her head hopelessly. "Allen will think I'm trying to smuggle you back to Earth with me!"

Celena fidgeted slightly.

_Tell her now. Tell her we're going with. Now. Do it. She's brought it up, take the opportunity!_

"Uh, Hitomi," began Celena tentatively. "It's really funny you say that."

Hitomi's smile faded. "Why?"

"I want you to take me with to the Mystic Moon. I don't have to stay long. I just want to see what its like to be somewhere else for awhile. I know Allen won't be happy about it, but Hitomi, I need to do something. Gaea has nothing for me, at least if I've visited Earth it would be something I could remember. I've never been free, and I would treasure it so much. Even just for a week or two." Celena could feel Dilandau's frustration. She was even a bit surprised to hear herself practically begging Hitomi to let her go with.

Hitomi stared at Celena in shock. What kind of request was this? At the same time she was a little thrilled, even Van had never shown any real interest in seeing Earth. She'd always daydreamed about showing her friends from Gaea all the things on Earth that she took for granted, but compared to Gaean standards would seem miraculous.

"I don't know how you can possibly get Allen to agree to it," Hitomi said softly, "but I would love it if you wanted to visit for awhile."

* * *

_So what's your plan?_

'Plan?' Celena inquired, still floating from the fact that Hitomi had agreed.

_For getting pretty-boy to let you travel to another world? Hello, anyone home? Do you really think Sir Paranoia will let you go?_

Celena's heart sank a little. How was she planning on getting Allen to let her go?

_You're lucky I'm brilliant. _Dilandau's voice held a smug tone. _I have a plan with which you'll never have to deal with Allen at all…_

Celena was all ears.

* * *

It was early, so early the stars still shone weakly. "I still can't believe Allen is letting you go." Van told Celena in a suspicious tone. "It really isn't like him." He gave Celena a long look, thinking about what had happened last night during supper.

The stable boy had raced into the palace in a panic, exclaiming that a message had just come in. Allen was desperately needed in Asturia. A skirmish of some sort had broken out, and only Allen could settle it. Ever the knight, Allen had raced away into the night, leaving Celena behind. He had said something to Van about keeping her safe, but that he wouldn't have to for long. Van shook his head, confused. He was just hoping that Allen had been referring to the fact that Celena was going to the Mystic Moon, and not that he would be back soon. He could just imagine his friend's anger if he had misunderstood.

He looked at his fiancé. Hitomi looked radiant beneath the last of the starlight. He drew her in for a single chaste kiss goodbye and a last hug. "I love you," he murmured in her ear. "I will always love you."

Hitomi could feel the tears starting behind her eyes. She tried to hold them back, promising herself that she would see Van again soon. "Let's get going," she told Celena, praying that the tremor in her voice wouldn't give her away. She wanted to be happy for Van's sake. To pretend that leaving didn't really hurt as much as it did. She couldn't shake the feeling that in leaving, she risked losing him. She looked up at Van, and forced a weak smile. Distance was such a hard thing to deal with in love. She felt like something in her was screaming to stay, but at the same time, she knew she had to leave. She took a deep breathe. "Goodbye my Love," she whispered to Van, even as the pale pink light surrounded Celena and herself. "I'll be back soon."

Van blinked back the tears that threatened to exist in his eyes. She would come back. She had promised to be his wife, his Queen. She would be back. He walked back to the palace slowly, savouring the sunrise. He almost walked into Allen as he entered the palace.

Allen looked at the young king with a smile, "Back from seeing the Lady Hitomi off?" he asked.

"Yeah," replied Van with a sigh, "I just wish it wasn't so hard. I know she'll come back, but…" he trailed off. "So you're back already from the skirmish?"

Allen shook his head slowly, "It was the strangest thing. It must have been over long before I got there. I went exactly where that boy had said to go, and I couldn't find anyone, not even a trace of a skirmish. I wandered around for several hours, thinking maybe he was off by a bit, but I never found anything."

Van could feel a sinking feeling in his stomach. He gulped softly. "A-Allen, when you said to look after Celena, but that it would only be for a short time, you were referring to the fact that she was going with Hitomi to the Mystic Moon, right?"

Allen stopped dead. Van watched as his expression went from shock to fear to anger. "I'm going to kill her," he breathed, as one of his eyes twitched.

To Be Continued...

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Tee hee! Doncha just love manipulating Allen? Review please!! And thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! I'm so happy people are liking my inane Escaflowne ramblings. Are you seeing the possibilities? 


	6. Chapter 6

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: I still do not own Escaflowne.

Last time I'll remind you…. anything in "" is spoken, Celena's thoughts to Dilandau are in '', and Dilandau's thoughts are in _italics_.

* * *

**_Chapter 6: Remembering How_**

'Are you ready for this, really?' Celena asked Dilandau nervously, as she waited for Hitomi and Van to say their goodbyes. She felt rather awful about going behind Allen's back.

_You're going to back out now?_ Dilandau's voice was filled with disbelief. _You're even more pathetic than I thought possible._

'I'm not backing out; I just wanted to make sure you still want to leave Gaea too.'

_Liar. You're feeling guilty about tricking Allen, and you're scared. I can see your thoughts you know. _

Celena sighed. 'It was a nasty trick to play on Allen.'

_Say it was me who made you. It was my idea after all. There, you feel less guilty now don't you?_

Celena sighed, 'Not really, but thanks for trying.'

Dilandau snorted. _I just don't want you to back out on me. _

Celena smiled smugly, Dilandau may have been bloodthirsty once, but he certainly seemed tame now. Suddenly she found herself surrounded in pale blue light.

* * *

_I can't breathe. Shit. Shit! I can't breathe. It's Celena's job to do the breathing. Why isn't she breathing? If something has happened to her… She's still not breathing. Damn it! Remember how to breathe idiot. In and out. _Dilandau awoke coughing. His eyes wide, he stared up at a star-filled sky and breathed. _Celena? Celena! Where are you? Why aren't you answering? _Panic was slowly taking over.

He raised his hands. _These are my hands. _He thought softly. _This is my body! _He realized in shock. He started to laugh, a laugh that started small and grew and grew.

"What's so funny moron?" Celena's voice interrupted. "Are you that happy to get rid of me?"

Dilandau rolled over lazily and stood up slowly. He noticed the hurt in the girl's eyes. Eyes he had never seen before, but a soul he knew as well as his own. He walked hesitantly forward, remembering how to move a body. He struggled for a moment, but it was coming back. He cursed himself for his three years of being nothing but an observer.

* * *

Celena had awoken to silence. 'Dilandau?' She had raised her head from the rough track she lay upon. There was no commentary in her head. She frowned, worried. She would never forgive herself if Dilandau had somehow been erased by this little "trip". She scanned the area as she sat up, Hitomi lay a few feet to her right, and a second figure lay to her left. She watched as the wind ruffled the young man's silver hair. She stared in wonder at the stranger, who didn't seem to be breathing now that she thought about it.

She stood slowly, and sighed in relief when the young man started to cough. She paused; there was something familiar in that sound. When he began to laugh, she had no doubt in her mind who the figure before her was. "What's so funny moron?" she interrupted his laughter, exaggerating the hurt in her voice to cover up her relief at him being alright. "Are you that happy to get rid of me?"

She watched him slowly get to his feet and walk towards her. She noticed how slowly he walked, as if he was straining to remember how. She was a little shocked to feel his arms wrap around her. "Thank the gods you're alright." He breathed heavily into her ear. Celena felt tingles run up and down her spine.

* * *

Hitomi rose slowly from where she had landed. That's strange, she thought, looking up at the starry evening. It was early morning in Gaea, and here its still night. She rose slowly, wondering how Celena had fared. She started when a distantly familiar laughter filled the air. She paused before bursting into panic mode, spinning around just in time to witness Dilandau pull Celena into his embrace.

It took her a moment to process what she had just done. "I've brought an insane pyromaniac to Tokyo." She whispered, her eyes widening in horror, remembering how to be afraid.

To Be Continued…

* * *

I know it's short! Review and I'll write more. :P Any thoughts on how to proceed from here? I could be all Dilandau is somewhat nicer from his time in Celena's head, or he could go on a rampage and burn down Tokyo for kicks. Personally I think there's more room for humor in Option 1, but Option 2 sounds vaguely tempting too… how long do you think it would take for him to figure out a lighter? 


	7. Chapter 7

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: I _still_ do not own Escaflowne.

I win! I no longer have to do thoughts in apostrophes and italics! Or will I?

Anyway, I want to thank fetch-thranduilion, your reviews keep me going! And since you asked for Dilly to attempt to burn down Tokyo…he shall attempt. :P

And I'm shocked no one has pointed out some of the gaping holes in my story! I mean, Dilly appears out of nowhere, and I never mentioned clothes… course, we can't have a naked Dilly running around a high school track can we? Well, I guess we could… but that's not how it happened people!

* * *

**_Chapter 7: Fire_**

Hitomi sighed as she let Dilandau in her bedroom window. This is not something I would ever have seen myself doing, she thought to herself. In fact, this is like something out of a twisted nightmare. She watched the silver-haired youth climb in through her window, noting how rapidly he had gone from hardly being able to stand to his current state. She stepped backwards, as he entered the room, evaluating it slowly.

She gave the young man a long look, from the black leather pants and black t-shirt Gaea had sent him in, to his red eyes, he looked like about the last person her parents would ever let stay in their house. Truthfully, she couldn't blame them. She warily watched the fire in his eyes, despite whatever Celena may think, she was sure those eyes were just as maniacal as they had ever been.

* * *

Hitomi pushed her supper back and forth across her plate. It had been no problem convincing her parents to let Celena (a friend she had supposedly made while traveling, which wasn't entirely untrue) stay over until Hitomi got her apartment. She just hoped Dilandau would keep quiet until then. She couldn't believe she was letting someone who had wanted to kill her hide in her bedroom. The very thought was making her skin crawl.

"Well, it's nice to see someone appreciates a home cooked meal!" Hitomi's mother commented, noticing how much Celena was eating, compared to her daughter. "I guess traveling to all sorts of interesting places has led you to prefer something more exciting?"

Hitomi gave her mother a weak smile, "I'm just nervous about school starting," she said. "I'm hoping that apartment is everything you've promised it to be." It had been the one thing Hitomi had been adamant about. She wanted her own apartment, and if the school was going to pay for all her tuition, she figured she might as well be allowed to spend her savings on protecting her privacy. Well, she thought, I guess it was definitely for the best if Celena and Dilandau will be staying with me until I figure out how to get them back to Gaea. So much for privacy, she thought idly.

"It's the cutest one bedroom." Her mother cooed. "You're going to love it." One bedroom, thought Hitomi. A one bedroom apartment and Celena expects me to let Dilandau stay too. She shook her head. This was slightly outrageous.

"So where did you go, Hitomi?" her brother asked innocently enough. Hitomi could have thrown her chopsticks at him. She had been hoping no one would ask.

"It's a lovely place," Celena interrupted, "full of lush forests and rushing rivers. It's an excellent area for horseback riding."

"Horseback riding?" commented Hitomi's father. "You learned how to ride horses?"

Hitomi blushed a little, "Well, I'm not that good at it, Celena is much better." She could have hugged Celena right there for managing to change the subject so smoothly. As the conversation continued, and Celena rambled on about how wonderful her mother's cooking was, Hitomi relaxed. It was amazing how the same magic or whatever it was that had allowed her to understand and speak Gaean, allowed Celena to speak Japanese quite fluently. The girl had been saving her neck all supper.

* * *

"You could have saved me something to eat," growled Dilandau at Celena as she and Hitomi entered Hitomi's room. "Instead of just telling me how wonderful everything tasted!"

Hitomi stared back and forth between the pair. "You mean you guys can still hear each other's thoughts?"

"If we think hard enough." Celena replied, "We have to actually focus on sending them to each other though."

Hitomi breathed a sigh of relief. "So if Dilandau tries to burn down Tokyo, you'll know beforehand?"

Dilandau looked at her sharply. Hitomi bit her lip; perhaps she shouldn't have suggested that. The fire in his eyes seemed to leap, before turning inwards. She could tell he was plotting. "I don't have any flamethrowers, so you can just cool it." She told him flatly. "You're lucky I'm letting you stay."

A snort was all she got in response.

* * *

Hitomi breathed a sigh of relief as she closed the door of her apartment behind her parents. "You can go get him now I suppose." She told Celena, with a slightly sorrowful look in her eyes.

"You don't have to be so harsh on him." Celena murmured. "He's changed. He really has. You just need to give him a chance. I mean, we've been sleeping in the same room for three nights and you're still alive. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

Hitomi wasn't sure if she should cry or laugh as the door closed behind her friend. It didn't help that Celena looked better in that outfit than she did either. She sighed and thought hard. "Van? Van, can you hear me? I think just about the craziest thing has happened?"

She was slightly surprised when she got a response. "You sound tired, Hitomi," Van's voice slid into her mind gently. She closed her eyes, letting herself see her angel. "I'm glad you contacted me, I have something very important to tell you."

"It couldn't even begin to beat what I have to tell you."

She watched an eyebrow arch suspiciously on her lover's face. "Hitomi, Celena set Allen up. He didn't actually give her permission to go to Earth at all." Van looked rather sad, "He's been ridiculously upset, though mostly angry. I think he's taken most of it out on that stable boy."

Hitomi looked a little horrified, "Not Tom?" She winced. "I hope he's smarter than he looks."

Van gave her a long look. "You know his name?" His gaze shifted slightly. "Why don't you sound very surprised about Celena tricking Allen?"

Hitomi gave a nervous sigh, "I sort of kind of knew what she was up to. She was so bored on Gaea though. At least now when she goes back Allen might see her for who she is and not as a five year old."

"And Tom?" Van asked firmly.

"You have to promise not to breathe a word to Allen."

Van looked even more confused. Hitomi shook her head, as much as she loved him; he wasn't all that great at picking up on subtleties. "Celena was… playing with Tom." She winced, that could be so badly misinterpreted. "That is, she was sort of friends with him, but somewhat more than just friends." She winced again. No matter which way she said it, it didn't make her friend sound any better.

Van just smirked. "I should've known, a Schezar is still a Schezar."

Hitomi laughed, though her smile faded as she remembered the real issue at hand. "Van, there's something more serious that you should know. When Celena was transported here, Dilandau somehow got his own body back." She watched her lover's smirk fade to a look of panicked horror.

* * *

Dilandau wandered down the street, amused and bemused by everything he saw. This world was truly a dream come true: all the technology of Zaibach, perfected into entertainment. He shook his head as he turned a corner, how could Dornkirk have had his sights set on altering Gaea when he could have just gone back to Earth? A sudden movement caught the corner of his eye, a momentary snatch of flame, and the scent of fire and burning captured his attention.

"What's that?" he asked the individual holding the strange device. He wasn't actually certain of the individual's gender, but they were clothed entirely in black, which as far as he was concerned couldn't be a bad thing. He watched the person's face closely, after the beast people of Gaea; the stranger's face wasn't exactly shocking either, though he imagined that may have been their intent.

"This?" A decidedly masculine voice replied, amused in a distant way. Dilandau was reminded slightly of Folken. "You really don't know what this is?"

Dilandau shook his head, captivated by the flame the stranger was now waving before his eyes. The flames reflected and shimmered in his hungry eyes.

"It's a lighter. You can have it if you want, I have another one, and that one's almost out anyway." Dilandau accepted the gift in silence, awestruck by the power of once again controlling the power of fire.

He continued wandering, occasionally flicking the lighter, savoring the flames. The first few tries had resulted in burnt fingers, and he had almost given up on the device at one point, disliking the fact that it wasn't in fact a flamethrower. He suddenly found that he had wandered into a dead end. An evil grin spread across his face as he took in the pile of cardboard in the alleyway. He glanced between the lighter in his hand and the flammable material just once. "Burn Tokyo?" he smirked.

* * *

Hitomi started as the phone suddenly rang. Who the heck could that be? She asked herself. The only people who know the number are mom and dad and Celena… and Dilandau, but I hardly think… She stopped mid-thought as a familiar voice drawled into her ear. "'Tomi? Yeah, apparently I only get one phone call. Can you tell Celena to stop worrying? I can feel her thoughts from here. I'm in this station place." There was a pause and the sound of muffled voices. "What do you mean my time is almost up? Who do you think you are baldy?" Another pause. "Anyway, apparently I need someone to come get me." Hitomi stood in shock as the dial tone took over.

Four days. Four _days_ and Dilandau was already in jail. "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" she asked her apartment as she pulled on a sweater and went to go find Celena. She was still debating leaving Dilandau to rot in jail. He deserved worse.

To Be Continued...

* * *

Tee hee! I love everyone who reviews. I promise. Just not as much as I love Dilly. 


	8. Chapter 8

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: I _still_ do not own Escaflowne.

* * *

**_Chapter 8: Hacker_**

By the time Hitomi had tracked down Celena, the sun was going down. She looked at the darkening sky and at her watch. "We'll get Dilandau tomorrow," she announced suddenly.

Celena shot back a horrified look. "You're going to leave him in enemy hands?"

Hitomi shook her head and sighed. "Police aren't the enemy. They patrol the city making sure its safe for people. Whatever Dilandau did, he deserves to be locked up in jail, at least for one night." Her friend whimpered softly. "Don't tell me it's not fair," she admonished, "Just cause you have a soft spot for him doesn't mean that he's actually a good person."

Celena stopped short, her blue eyes shining brilliantly. "Then I'll get him myself!"

Hitomi bit her lip. "You can't. First off, you need bail money, and last time I checked, I'm the one with the Earth money." She gazed at her rebellious friend, who hadn't moved an inch yet. "Secondly, Allen is already pissed that you've come to Earth, how do you think he'd react to the idea of you being raped and murdered in some back alley?"The brilliant flare in Celena's eyes faded slightly. She gave a faint nod and began to walk again.

Celena glared at Hitomi the rest of the way home, wondering if she could possibly make what she had said untrue. It was slightly unnerving that on this planet young women lived alone, with no one who could escort them. No one to trust it seemed to her. She sighed; she wasn't quite ready to admit to missing Gaea. 'Dilandau?' she asked quietly.

_What's taking you so long? This place is extremely unentertaining._

Celena sighed, 'We can't come get you tonight. It's dark, and Hitomi insists we'll be attacked and raped if we get you."

There was a slight chuckle, _So she's that scared of me, eh? _Celena rolled her eyes. _Just get me tomorrow then, this place isn't that much worse than the Vione really. Dirtier, maybe. _Celena smiled.

* * *

Dilandau plopped onto the hard bunk, attempting to make the best of it. He closed his eyes and pictured the flames, the beautiful flames that had almost licked the sky. A contented smile crossed his features. Behind his eyes, he could see the orange, the red, the light and the danger. He could almost smell the burning, feel the worn out lighter pressing into the palm of his hand. He smiled; in retrospect, it was probably his laughter that had attracted attention.

"So I heard you stuck around the crime scene." A disinterested voice floated down to him from the top bunk. "You know, if you really want to get away with arson, you aren't supposed to stand there watching the flames, holding the evidence."

Dilandau rolled his eyes, like he needed some amateur punk telling him how to burn things. He was Dilandau Albatou! He was the man who had burnt Fanelia to the ground and gotten away with it, more or less. He grinned. He was away now. He wondered if this was enough revenge against Van: the fact that he now inhabited the world Van's precious fiancé lived in, and was in fact living with said fiancé. He could just imagine how nervous Van must be; he could practically see him squirm.

"Not much of a talker are you?" The disembodied voice came again, this time followed by a pair of legs entering Dilandau's line of sight. He watched as a boy climbed down from the bunch above him. He was dressed similar to himself, all in black, but there was something in the boy's aura that reminded him more of Folken: a slight haughty disinterest. He nodded, "I'm in for arson too." He smirked. "But that's not what I'm wanted for."

Dilandau stared at him, barely amused. This boy dared to disturb him merely to gloat about some pathetic thing or another. "What are you _wanted_ for then?" he sneered.

The boy's expression didn't change. "I'm actually wanted by the feds. Though they probably wouldn't believe a kid could hack into their precious networks." A dangerous smiled curved its way across his face. "From what I gather, they're currently looking for a thirty-something year old."

Dilandau continued staring at the boy. "Hack? What the hell is that?"

The boy actually looked surprised at this. "You haven't heard of hacking?" he asked in disbelief.

Dilandau shook his head without lifting it. He noted suddenly the excited glow in the boy's eyes. He sighed and prepared himself for a long, boring lecture.

The sun rose slowly, creeping in the window of the prison cell, illuminating the faces of two young men talking earnestly. Dilandau couldn't help himself. What this boy was proposing was brilliant. It seemed this entire world practically survived on something called the Internet – a limitless expanse of "cyber" connections. It seemed that every source of power could be made weak by anyone with the intelligence to not be discovered. A wicked smile was working its way onto his face. Who needed Gaea anyway; here was a whole world that was unprepared for the likes of him.

* * *

Dilandau stretched his neck, bored out of his mind. He proceeded to crack his knuckles as the monotone voices droned on, describing the day before, but unable to express the beauty of the flames swallowing the alleyway, and the structures around it. He had been disappointed though to learn that the two buildings hadn't actually been destroyed by the fire, and worse, were condemned anyway.

He stared up with disinterest as the judge determined his sentence. The older man gazed back down on him, a sympathetic look upon his face. Dilandau snorted, he didn't need sympathy. "Because no one was injured by your foolish actions, and no real damage was caused, I've decided to be lenient with you young man," the old man began. Dilandau rolled his eyes. He couldn't remember being lenient even once in his life.

"Therefore I sentence you to forty hours of community service and a minimum of three sessions with a counselor. I've seen kids like you before, you have potential. Don't waste it by making a mess of your life."

Dilandau stared at the man, speechless. Where was the pain in this punishment?

"Any questions, young man?" The judge asked, peering down at Dilandau.

"What's community service?" The judge laughed softly. Dilandau stiffened as the judge outlined what he was expected to do. So much for painless, he thought to himself, though one word seemed to hold some promise: fire station. Can't be all bad if there's fire, he thought as he was led from the court.

* * *

"Sorry Miss, your boyfriend is just having his hearing before the judge." The kindly police officer told Hitomi when she inquired about Dilandau.

She twitched. "He's _not_ my boyfriend!" The words were biting. "She," Hitomi flung an arm in Celena's direction, "is his sister. I'm just the money." She couldn't believe she was here. She couldn't believe she was bailing out Dilandau. She really couldn't believe very much about her life at all right now. She insisted on paying the bail fees right away, and stalked over to a seat to wait.

Celena sat beside Hitomi, a puzzled look on her face. "Hitomi, what's a fire station?"

"It's the place firefighters stay when they're on duty, and it's where they store the fire trucks too." Hitomi replied distractedly.

"So they prevent fires then?" Hitomi nodded tiredly. Celena frowned slightly. On the other hand, she thought, he does deserve something. Her frowned turned itself into a smirk. Yes indeed, he would get such a surprise. There was no way she would ruin this one for him.

To Be Continued...

* * *

Hmm, so what do you think? 


	9. Chapter 9

**What happens when it fades?**

Disclaimer: I'm not the lucky one who owns Escaflowne. If I did, there'd be another season.

* * *

**_Chapter 9: Consequences_**

Hitomi sighed as she closed the door to her room. She wished she knew the right thing to do. Dilandau was only going to be a problem for her, and classes and practices started in just a few days. The image of Van's face rose unbidden before her eyes. The concern in his eyes, the fear she could feel coming off his thoughts, it was a little contagious really. Especially considering what had happened these past few days.

"You have to send him back to Gaea," Van had told her, "he has to pay for his crimes." She remembered the jolt of horror she had felt, the silent prayer that Van didn't really mean to take justice into his own hands. "He's wanted as a war criminal," Van had continued, "In some ways this is for the best: it means Allen can stop trying to cover for Celena and a proper trial can take place." She remembered her sigh of relief, and the funny look that had spread across Van's face. He had smiled then, "Hitomi, I have no intentions of fighting again; you've taught me that it isn't the right answer." A brief smile flitted across Hitomi's face as she tucked the covers in around herself, warmed by the memory of Van's smile.

Morning came too soon in her opinion. She stumbled out of her bedroom and headed for the kitchen. She poured herself a bowl of cereal and ate while contemplating the two figures that still slept in her living room. Celena was still asleep on the couch, a pillow behind her head, and a blanket tucked tightly around her. Dilandau lay sprawled out on the floor, a blanket spread haphazardly across him. It's almost cute, Hitomi found herself thinking. I wonder, she let a slow breathe out, I wonder if Celena might be right? Maybe he has changed.

Even taking into consideration the fire he'd started, and his snarky comments, no one had actually been hurt yet. No death treats had been uttered, and aside from when he had first woken up, there had been no maniacal laughter. She watched him closely for an instant, a pang of sympathy in her gut, as she remembered what Celena had confided to her over the summer. The fractured memories she had of torturous experiences and what could only be described as brainwashing. How it was during those times that Dilandau developed in her mind, but also how during that time, he had hidden her away in their shared mind to protect her from the pain the sorcerers were inflicting. A frown creased Hitomi's face, what if… what if Dilandau's behavior had been a result of that? What if none of it was the real person at all?

She rose and put her bowl in the sink. There's no helping it though, she thought with a sigh. The two of them are going back to Gaea tomorrow. Having them here has just turned out to be so much more than I can handle, especially with practices and classes starting so soon. She almost regretted staying as long as she had in Fanelia, then shook her head, who was she kidding? That had been the best summer of her life.

She turned around to see two pale faces watching her. "What's for breakfast?" they asked in unison. She shook her head and grabbed two more bowls and the cereal box. Once they were settled back down at the table, Hitomi decided to tell her two guests of her decision. She took a sip of her orange juice, "Celena? Dilandau? There's something I need to talk with you two about." She took a deep breathe, not wanting to hurt Celena's feelings, "I think you two should go back to Gaea soon. My practices and classes start in just a few days and…"

"We've been an awful lot of trouble?" finished Celena wryly. She looked up at Hitomi with a smile. "I was sort of hoping you'd say something like that. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I prefer Gaea. I miss riding my horses, and I miss the forests. I miss feeling like I can breathe." She laughed softly. "As much as I wanted independence and freedom, what you go through is a bit much. I mean, you have no one to accompany you anywhere, you live in a shoebox, and, truth to be told, I almost miss Allen."

Hitomi smiled. Maybe this would be easier than she had thought. After all, Dilandau wouldn't stay without…"

"I'm not going." Hitomi looked at Dilandau. He stared back at her. "You know exactly what's waiting for me. The second I get there," he snapped, "I'll be put on trial. And unlike your kindly judges here, I'll be sentenced to death before I've entered the room." Celena gasped. Hitomi gulped. She couldn't exactly argue the truth could she?

"That is if your future husband doesn't just run me through the second he sees me." Dilandau smirked. There was nothing like flavoring an argument with responsibility and guilt.

Hitomi stared at the young man for a moment, noting the stubborn smirk on his face. He thinks he's winning, she thought. She glanced over at Celena, who was slowly finishing her cereal, pale as a sheet and a worried look marring her features. She sighed as she rose from the table. "You two can talk about it."

* * *

Hitomi unpacked the last of her belongings and gave a triumphant look around her room. She smiled, and set the long, white feather she kept to remind herself of Van on her desk beside her computer. "All done, I see," Celena murmured from the doorway. "It looks good," she said with a smile, appraising the room from the posters of runners and pictures of her family and friends to the jumble of running shoes that filled the bottom of the closet. 

"Hitomi," Celena started, "I want Dilandau to come with me. I do. It's selfish of me, but I've never not had him. I don't really know how to live without him around." She sighed. "But if he comes back to Gaea, he will die." Hitomi watched her friend in silence as the tears started to build in Celena's pale blue eyes. "Hitomi, I couldn't live knowing I was the reason he died. Do you have any idea how I felt when I woke up here and couldn't hear him in my head? If he hadn't of been lying a few feet away…" Celena broke off into quiet sobs. Hitomi bit her lip and hugged her friend.

"And, I mean, he's got appointments booked with a counselor, and volunteer hours to do. And he really has changed. I promise he has." She told Hitomi brokenly, a desperate hope in her eyes.

Hitomi felt like she was drowning. What the hell could she do? Had she only known this would have happened she would have said no the last time Celena had asked anything of her. She sighed; Celena had been through so much. How could she break her heart like this? She felt like crying. There was no way she could let Dilandau just wander around in the world, he'd have to stay with her. Van's going to kill me, she found herself thinking, realizing she'd already made her decision that morning.

Hitomi sat cross legged on a chair, while Dilandau and Celena shared the couch. Both had their heads tilted slightly to the left. "What the hell is this crap?" Dilandau asked with a snort, addressing the television show they had been watching for the past ten minutes. Hitomi shook her head silently, wondering what on earth she was in for these next few months.

Suddenly both Dilandau and Celena nearly jumped out of their seats. "A Draconian!" shouted Dilandau. Both of their faces were etched in a mix of worry, shock and fear.

Hitomi started laughing. "No. That's an angel." She said softly, amused by their reactions.

Celena looked at her strangely, "An angel? What's that?" Hitomi looked nervously at Dilandau for a moment, as he was still standing watching the "angel" on the television screen. His face was twitching slightly and she could have sworn that he was mentally scanning her apartment for weapons.

"An angel watches over people and protects them from harm. They try to help people make the right choices, and…" Hitomi found herself interrupted by Dilandau.

"So basically, on your world, the destroyers of Atlantis are worshiped and treated like big shots." Dilandau said with a skeptical frown. "How revolting, I would have expected Draconians to be hated everywhere."

Hitomi frowned. "Draconians aren't bad people."

"Uh huh, yeah right. Don't confuse them with your happy imaginary angels," spat Dilandau. "I'm quite sure in all your time on Gaea you never met one, if you had, you would know the stories about them are true. Personally, I don't need to meet one to know."

Celena sat quietly, remembering the day she had regained true consciousness on the battlefield. There had been rumors that a white dragon had been seen, and she had seen it. She'd seen Van fly away on Escaflowne. But the rumors had said that feathers had fallen from the sky. Escaflowne didn't have feathers. She shook he head, no, it couldn't be.

Hitomi stared at Dilandau in anger, "What the hell are you talking about?" Dilandau looked at her in confusion. "Of course you knew a Draconian."

Dilandau arched a single eyebrow. "Did not."

"What do you think Folken was?" Spat Hitomi, furious. She stomped out of the room and flopped on her bed. Oh yes, these next few months would certainly be fun. Fun if she could keep herself form wringing Dilandau's skinny neck. Suddenly her eyes flew open. "Oh shit."

Dilandau sat in shock on the pale green couch. "Folken? A Draconian?" His eyes were wide, as his mind ran on hyper speed. "Wait." He glanced over to Celena, who had just reached the same conclusion, "Wouldn't that make Van one too?"

"Great, just great," murmured Hitomi to herself. "Why don't you just tell your fiancé's worst enemy his biggest secret? O wait, you already did!" She turned over, ready to sulk, only to find herself facing the silhouette of Dilandau in her doorway.

"Look at the bright side," he said with a smirk. "It's not like I'm going back to Gaea any time soon." He let a low chuckle escape, "I'd advise you not to worry about it, it's not like Celena will tell." He strolled away from the door, cocky as ever, reassured that now he certainly wouldn't be shipped back to Gaea any time soon.

Hitomi just groaned and hid her head under her pillow. It was going to be a long year.

To Be Continued…

* * *

A few notes… the show they're watching on tv is not based on anything at all. I just needed the scene to accomplish several goals. winks I've got more up my sleeves. 

Hmm, I also plan on making the story move a bit faster now. As much as I love chronicling every moment, I don't want this to be one of those stories that stretches into infinity, and then never gets finished. :P


	10. Chapter 10

_**What happens when it fades?**_

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne…

* * *

**_Chapter 10: Autumn on Gaea_**

Celena sucked in a deep breathe, dreading the moments that followed this one. She couldn't stay on the Mystic Moon, she had no desire to. Her heart was longing for autumn on Gaea: racing her horse through the warm colours of the forest, with the chill bite of the breeze in her hair. She turned her head just enough to catch sight of the silver-haired boy she knew as well as her own soul. She watched him from behind her bangs, memorizing the face, and the bored tone of his voice, as he talked about nothing in particular. What on earth would life be like without him in her head?

Suddenly, it was time to go. She rose unsteadily to her feet, wanting to be strong, but fearing she couldn't be. "Celena," his voice held an unsteady tremor in it, as she turned around to face Dilandau. For a moment there was weakness in his face. His eyes looked like those of a lost little boy. She closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly. His arms wrapped themselves around her frail body and for a moment, they had their peace.

"Don't you dare forget me," Celena whispered into his ear, her voice cracking. She pushed away from him and dashed into the blue pillar of light Hitomi had called for her.

Dilandau blinked slowly, the arrogant and bored look back in his eyes. "Forget you? I couldn't if I wanted to, you stupid girl," he grumbled.

Curious, Hitomi watched the young man the whole back to her apartment. She was afraid to say anything, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel sympathy. She'd seen that moment of weakness in his eyes, and she wondered.

* * *

Celena sat in the comfy red chair in the library, staring out the window. A book lay open in her lap, abandoned. Allen walked up behind her, a gentle smile on his face. The relief that she was back in his care was almost overwhelming. He knew at first he'd wanted to practically murder his sister for tricking him and leaving him like that, but now that she was back, he couldn't feel anything but relief. Though, there was something he needed to talk to Celena about.

"Celena," Allen's voice jolted her out of her reverie, and the book tumbled from her lap to the floor. Luckily Allen was too preoccupied with his lengthy speech on how happy he was she'd returned to notice the book. She sighed, and leaned down to pick it up before he could note the title. "Celena? Are you listening to anything I'm saying?" asked Allen, an injured look on his face. She froze for a moment, under normal circumstances she would tell him of course not, and then repeat what he'd said word for word, as Dilandau would have been listening.

Her face fell, well, that wasn't going to happen now was it? She sighed again, now she'd actually have to start _listening_ to the things Allen said. "Sorry Allen, I'm still a bit tired from the traveling." She smiled apologetically; hoping whatever he was going to ask wouldn't take him long. She was itching to go for a ride and the sun had finally pierced through the grey clouds.

"I was saying that maybe we should starting looking for a husband for you." Celena stared at Allen for a long moment. Allen's face scrunched into a frown. "There were rumours, and even though I had a long discussion with that stable boy…" he trailed off, remembering that odd exchange.

He'd had the young man brought up to one of the studies in Van's palace. The young man had stood nervously by the door to the room, while Allen sat behind the desk. He'd been very confused, why exactly had the young man tricked him?

"Celena…Lady Celena," the young man had begun, "asked me to." His eyes never once rose to meet Allen's own. Allen looked at the boy in confusion.

"Why did I do it?" the boy supplied. He lifted his brown eyes from the hole they were boring in the carpet to Allen's own. "I love her." He had watched calmly as Allen had turned a very unattractive shade of purple, and before the knight could leave his chair decided that he would have to lie, and fast. "I am aware that she is miles beyond me, and I will forever only worship her from afar, Sir Allen. I would never sully her honour. It was because I knew I could never touch her, and that to even dream of her smile was more than I was worthy of, that I did as she asked." He paused and bowed to the knight for effect, "Forgive this foolish youth, I would do anything to see her smile."

At the same moment Allen's heart had warmed, and a cold icy feeling had run down his spine. Marlene had been above his station and look where that had led. He sighed, but this young man seemed sincere and almost pathetic. There was really no way the rumours running around the palace could even have an ounce of truth. This young man looked barely brave enough to work with the horses he did, let alone touch a lady like Celena.

Celena stared at him. "Allen?" She was used to herself staring off into nothingness, and she was used to seeing nothingness running through Allen's head, but to see him staring into the distance, looking like he was actually thinking was fairly freaky.

He shook his head, "Celena, I just want you to be happy." Celena gave him a weak smile, as a sinking feeling filled her being.

* * *

Celena sighed, tossing and turning in her bed. She watched the long, filmy curtains blowing across her room. For some reason she wanted them open, despite the chill the wind was dragging in. Allen wanted her to get married. The thought was torturing her slowly. She could just imagine the parade of "safe" suitors that he would now proceed to march across before her until she finally broke down and picked one of them. "But I want someone exciting!" She whispered pathetically into the blackness of her room.

_Then tell him so, stupid. You can't really intend to let him continue to run your life. I thought you were better than that. _Celena jumped as the familiar, cool voice slipped into her mind.

'Dilandau?' she whispered in her mind, afraid that it was just her imagination.

_You would think after all these years you'd have more faith in me. I figured if Hitomi can stay in contact with her precious Van then why shouldn't I be able to with you? After all, we lived in the same pretty head for how many years? _Celena could feel the smirk that graced his lips.

She straightened her pillow and lay back down softly. 'What should I do? I don't want to end up married to some old man.'

_If you end up married to some old man I'll come back and run him through._ The voice drifted into her mind, an edge to it sharper than the steel of his sword. _I don't want to see you married to anyone you aren't actually in love with. _

'That still doesn't solve anything.' Celena sighed. She suppressed a smile, she wanted to yell and scream and dance with delight. She hadn't lost him at all!

_Tell him you'll find your own husband._ She could feel Dilandau's wicked smile. _Find yourself a good kisser though. _

They talked for what seemed like hours into the darkness of the room, just as they had all the years previous. Celena finally felt herself drifting into sleep. _What are you looking for anyway? _Was the last thing she remembered Dilandau asking her.

Dilandau lay on the couch in Hitomi's apartment, an expression of shock on his face at the last thought that had drifted towards him from Celena. 'Someone like you…'

To Be Continued…

* * *

I'd explain myself for dedicating an entire chapter just to Celena and Dilandau… but based on the reviews, you guys don't need one. :D I figured since everyone likes the relationship they have, I'd not ruin it. Sorry this chapter is a bit short though, hopefully the next one will be a bit faster coming too… 


	11. Chapter 11

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: I'm not the lucky one who owns Escaflowne. If I did, there'd be another season.

* * *

**_Chapter 11: Hypnosis_**

Hitomi ran out the door of her apartment building and sprinted towards the university. "Late! Late again!" She shrieked as she dodged lowly _walking_ pedestrians. She arrived at the track on time for practice, but was gulping air for dear life. It was only the sixth practice of the season and she had almost been late twice now. She wished she could blame it on her unwanted roommate, but oddly enough Dilandau had been staying out of her way since Celena had returned to Gaea. He claimed to be attempting to learn about how Earth worked. This as far as she could tell, seemed to involve watching television all day while she was in class.

She shook her head, clearing her mind before her first timed sprint of the day, there was something today though. Something she should remember… o yes, she thought with a smile, today is Dilandau's first appointment with his "counselor". With a smirk Hitomi launched herself from the starting blocks.

* * *

Dilandau wandered down the avenues in an older part of town. There were actually trees here, their leafy branches swaying in the wind. He seemed slightly aimless, an entirely new experience for him. "Someone like you…" she had said. He shook his head, what the hell was that supposed to mean? If he caught someone like him so much as looking at Celena, he'd be at their throat.

He was a murderer, a maniac, entirely unstable. He slowed his pace, wanting to sort out at least a little of what was in his head before he had to see this "counselor". Did Celena really not remember anything from the time he was in control of their body? She must have seen his dreams; she must remember the horrible things he'd said, the bloody images he'd thrown out into her mind just to horrify her. Sure it had been a long while since he'd done any of those things, but that didn't change who he was, did it?

He stopped and stared at the sky for a second. The bright blue told him nothing. He turned his gaze down to the harsh grey pavement. "She thinks I've changed." He murmured softly. He sighed and wondered if perhaps he had. He thought of flames licking their way up a building, of blood on a battlefield. He looked very, very hard at who he had become, and the taunt frown on his face twisted cruelly. Yes, he had indeed changed. He had become patient.

He stopped in front of an older, grey stone building, and looked at the slip of paper in his hand. Perhaps he could use Celena's faith in him to his advantage. He couldn't deny he did have a soft spot for the girl, but really, she was where it ended. His red eyes burned for a moment. He had a plan now, a lovely plan, and all it required was that he use this new patience of his. All he had to do was act, and behind the acting, scheme.

The counselor turned out to be a petite woman, who introduced herself as Dr. Akira. She explained that she was a psychiatrist by training, but not to let that worry him. She wasn't about to psychoanalyze him. Dilandau almost sighed, he'd been hoping for something interesting. Instead the petite woman proceeded to ask him what he considered silly questions. Inquiring about random things such as his favourite colour and television shows, to whether he was involved in "gangs".

Dilandau almost laughed at that one. If she only knew about the Dragonslayers and the burning of Fanelia. These "inner-city gangs" of hers were guppies compared to what he was capable of. He almost regretted his foolishness with the lighter. He could be using this time much more constructively. On the other hand, he mused, if not for the lighter incident, he wouldn't _know _that there were more constructive things to do.

Several days later, Dilandau found himself back at the stone building. He braced himself for another boring hour. On the other hand, he thought to himself, it is better than dealing with sorcerers. An involuntary shiver ran up his spine. He snarled, this whole world was weak, he just had to set up the right way to take control, and it would be his. A lazy smile crept across his features. And then those sorcerers were pay, just after a certain Fanalian king that was.

"I think that last week you may have been holding some things back." The psychiatrist told Dilandau. "But I've come to the conclusion that you probably will never trust me enough to actually tell me what they are. At least, not in the three sessions we have." Dilandau looked at her suspiciously. "So I was thinking, in order to go over some of the big things which are bothering you, we should uncover what those things are." Dilandau's frown deepened. "And since I have a great deal of training in it, I was thinking of trying hypnosis."

Dilandau just stared at her hopeful smile. He shrugged. "Why not?"

"You are sinking through a spectrum of colours." The psychiatrist murmured to her unconscious client. His pale skin stood out violently against the black leather sofa he lay upon. "First you are drifting through red light, it's warm and…"

"Like blood." Dilandau finished happily. The woman jerked her head back rapidly, realizing that the young man was already in a state of hypnosis.

"Blood?" She whispered, "What does blood mean to you?"

"Blood is…" a shudder went through his body. "Blood is death. Death of my enemies, dripping down my sword." His voice rose half an octave, "Death of my Slayers." His voice lowered to a hushed murmur, "I'll kill Van! I'll kill him." A manical laugh bubbled up in his throat, huskily he added: "But it's a secret."

The psychiatrist nodded sagely. 'Plays too many video games.' She scratched onto her pad of paper. "Now you're floating through orange light…"

"Fire!" Dilandau cried happily. "Burning, burning down that backwater country." He had a bright smile across his face. "Burning all those pathetic Fanalians while their even more pathetic king runs away. But I'll get you Van. I'll get you and you will burn!"

'Pyromaniac.' The black cursive script etched into the lined paper. 'Must find out who this "Van" is.'

She turned back to her patient. "Now you are floating through yellow light," She paused, waiting for an interruption. "And green light…"

"Stupid forest." Muttered Dilandau. "Celena is obsessed with her stupid horses. She loves to ride them far into the forest, never thinking about what I want."

"Who's Celena?" pressed the psychiatrist. Astounded that girls even existed in his strange little world.

"She took over my body." He paused. "Well, I suppose I took over hers and she just took it back." Dr. Akira stared down at her patient, thoroughly confused. "She always plays around with the stable boys too, and knights. You would think she'd have better taste."

"Who is Van?" Dr. Akira asked suddenly. This was all getting far out of the range of her training. Dilandau didn't answer. "I asked who is Van?"

"I'll kill him. He's not important."

"Everyone is important to someone, now tell me, who is Van?" She was getting worried. She couldn't let him leave, knowing he had plans to kill someone, could she?

"Van is a Draconian. A pathetic loser king, of a pathetic backwater country I burned. One day," he snickered, "one day I'll go back to Gaea and burn it again." A dreamy smile flitted across his thin lips.

'Scary and delusional.' Wrote the doctor. 'A tricky patient.' She looked at the unconscious boy. She looked back at the page she had written. She looked at the boy again, as he started to laugh. It was like no laugh she had ever heard before. It was filled with malice and hatred, and sent shivers down her spine. She slowly pulled the page out of her notebook and crumpled it. She clenched her fists.

"You will wake up when I clap my hands." She paused. "And you will remember nothing that has passed." She clapped her hands and the boy's eyes popped open.

"So when so we start?" he asked nonchalantly.

"We're finished. If anyone ever asks, you came to a third appointment." He absorbed the crinkled piece of paper that she was crushing in her hand, and the tense look on her face.

"I'm that scary?" he asked softly.

She shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes. She didn't want to think about what he had said, or what he had implied. She definitely didn't want to think about that horrible laughter.

He strolled out the office door, flicking a lighter.

* * *

Umm wow… so that turned out way darker than I had planned. I'd really been hoping for something amusing and instead I get scary and slightly disjunct. Sigh - I had unbelievable amounts of trouble writing this chapter. And midterms to write. And I managed to slip down several stairs and bruise half my back on top of it. Not my week. Maybe that's why this turned out so dark. On the other hand, I couldn't really let Dilly go all soft-hearted. He dreams of world domination! You can't crush dreams, right? 


	12. Chapter 12

_**What happens when it fades?**_

Disclaimer: I'm not the lucky one who owns Escaflowne. If I did, there'd be another season.

A/N: This chapter is a bit longer than usual – I'm hoping to have longer chapters from now on. Here I also tackle my biggest pet peeve: how does a person from another world manage to survive in our's when we have identification papers and SIN numbers, etc.? How do they get jobs? How do they survive? And here's my reply.

* * *

**_Chapter 12: And so it goes…_**

Hitomi stared at her computer screen blurrily. Half a dozen books surrounded her in various locations, open to pages that were meticulously marked with post-it notes. The little black cursor flicked in and out of existence at the top of her open word processor. The blankness of the white screen overwhelmed her and made her feel inexplicably exhausted. It was only 4 pm, but it felt like it could have been midnight. After all, the essay was due tomorrow. She hit her head on the keyboard. She was doing so well in all her other classes! She was up to date on the readings, finished assignments sometimes days before they were due – but in doing so she had completely ignored this one class: History 104, "Intro. To War Throughout The Ages." It had seemed like a good idea at the time to take a course on the history of war. It seemed a fact of life on Gaea, so she'd figured it would be a bright idea to take it. The first reading assignment had been Sun Tzu's The Art of War, however, and somehow it just hadn't appealed to her at the time. And now she had an essay due on it. Tomorrow. And she had barely skimmed the first few pages.

Dilandau strolled down the hallway and grinned when he saw Hitomi at her computer, blithely unaware of the nefarious uses he had put the machine to. He thought back to that magical day, her first day of classes, when he had wandered into her room, intent on discovering the magical "Internet". He had managed to get the thing going alright, but had then been faced with a most awkward dilemma. "Administrator Account Password?" the screen had blinked at him. He stared blankly. "Password?" He had muttered darkly, staring around Hitomi's room for a clue. Momentarily defeated, his eyes fell to the shelf above her computer desk, where a solitary white feather lay. He stared at the feather for a moment, snarling at the fact that he now knew it was probably one of Van's, the dirty Draconian… His eyes had lit up then in a burst of insight. What had Hitomi called those things? Angels? He smiled grimly and typed the short, sweet, five letter word into the inviting blank. An annoying little tune greeted his ears, and within moments he was cracking his knuckles, an Internet browser open and awaiting his command. He chuckled softly at the memory.

Hitomi rose her face slowly from her keyboard resting space, noting first that her screen was now filled with several lines of gibberish, and secondly the smirking albino in her doorway. "What's so funny?" she growled. "Have you ever tried writing an essay on 'The Art of War'?" She demanded angrily.

"That wouldn't happen to be the book that was decorating the far corner of the dining room table for the better part of the month would it?" He replied airily.

"Maybe." Said Hitomi, grinding her teeth.

"It was fascinating really. I'd never even dreamed of some of his techniques before. Quite an enlightening read. Your world has had quite its share of geniuses."

Hitomi stared at Dilandau for a long time. "You mean," she started softly; "you read it?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. He took in her rather pathetic state and sighed. He walked into her room and tipped her gently off her chair. "I'll write it. But you had better go over it before you hand it in. They'll never believe you wrote it if you don't change my wording."

Hitomi stared up at him from her crumpled position on the floor. "Are you serious?" She asked him, her eyes wide. Why on earth was he helping her?

"Yes," he said turning his head to meet her eyes. "You're the reason I'm a real person, as opposed to a fading voice in the back of Celena's head. I was getting rather sick of first-hand experiences with knights and stable boys you know."

Hitomi just stared at him. Was he trying to be funny? "If you want to make it up to me," he continued, "you can make supper." This seemed an equal trade to her. Painful essay in exchange for food: definitely a winning trade here.

Hitomi sat cross-legged on her bed, a bowl of rice vermicelli and vegetable stir-fry balanced on her knee as she read through the work for her other classes. Every once and awhile she would raise her gaze to once again absorb the shock of the pale young man sitting at her computer, writing an essay for her. She shrugged, she couldn't argue. She paused suddenly, "Dilandau?"

The albino grunted in reply.

"How do you know how to use a computer?"

Dilandau paused in his typing for a moment. "I, uh, taught myself?" he said meekly.

"You came into my _room_ and used _my _computer without asking me?" she demanded angrily.

He just shrugged. "You shouldn't have picked such an obvious password."

Hitomi sat speechless. And here she'd thought it so clever.

Several hours later, Hitomi struggled to keep her eyes open. "You might as well sleep and go over this tomorrow morning before you head out to your practice." A voice instructed her from the other side of her room. She shook her head, there was no way she was going to fall asleep with _him_ in her room.

Hitomi woke up to her alarm buzzer going. 'Odd,' she thought. 'Usually I don't get up until 5:30.' She jolted awake and stared at her alarm clock. A bright orange post-it note was stuck to the snooze button. "Don't forget to read over the damn essay!" It read in a deceptively elegant script. Hitomi stumbled over to her computer, regretting her rash decision to let Dilandau write the stupid thing. Heaven only knew what his grammar might be like. Fifteen minutes later, Hitomi had yet to move. She hadn't realized Dilandau had meant she'd have to _dumb down _the essay. Where the hell had he learned to write like this?

* * *

Hitomi stood in the living room of her apartment staring at the three envelopes in her hand. They were all addressed to Dilandau Albatou. She stared at them harder. Finally she caved in. "Dilandau," she said softly, addressing the male who sat slouched on her couch (which now doubled as his bed), with his feet up on the coffee table. "There's mail for you."

His face lit up like a kid's at a candy store. "Finally!" he said with a smile, leaping to his feet, and tearing open the envelopes. Hitomi's jaw nearly hit the floor as first a birth certificate, followed by a health card and a social insurance number card hit the coffee table. All describing a certain "Japanese citizen" known as Dilandau Albatou. "I hope you don't mind I made them out under your address," he said smiling. "I had to do it quick before they figured out I was in their system."

"You hacked into the government system and added yourself?" Hitomi felt as though the world was falling away from her feet.

"Well, as it turns out I need those documents," he gestured to the coffee table, "to get a job."

Hitomi stared at him speechless. "A job?" she echoed dully. "But you haven't even done your volunteer hours yet!"

Dilandau stared at her. "You would think you'd be happy you could stop spending all your money on feeding me." His eyes flared for an instant. "I don't want to be indebted to you any more than I already am." He declared.

Hitomi sighed, blushing a little. He was right, she hadn't really thought about it from that perspective. She looked at him from the corner of her eye, what on earth had changed about him? She could understand the independence, but truthfully she had expected him to loaf off her for as long as possible. It was weird. Like he was using his powers of evil for good. She shook her head. "But don't you need a resume and contacts and all that stuff before you can find a job? Besides, good luck finding a job. I have friends who've applied to dozens of places and haven't heard back from any of them.

Just then the phone rang. Hitomi shook her head in frustration. "Hello?" she said, the annoyance evident in her voice.

"Is there a Dilandau Albatou there?" A male voice asked. Hitomi sighed, she should have known. It wasn't enough he was getting more mail than she did.

"It's for you." She said dully, passing the phone to Dilandau, who wore a triumphant smirk. She watched him nod and smile and actually speak politely to whoever was on the other end.

"Yes, Tuesday at 4:30, would be excellent. In the mall? Great. Thank you very much." Dilandau smirked brightly at her as he hung up the phone. "I have an interview." He said smugly.

Hitomi did the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time. She grabbed a toss cushion from her couch and chucked it at the smug jerk's head.

* * *

Hitomi tossed and turned in her bed. She had the last of her midterms tomorrow, and was worried she hadn't studied enough. Dilandau had laughed at her earlier, as she had sat on the floor in the living room, papers spread all around her. She frowned at the thought. Just because she had done well on the other midterms didn't mean she could slack off in her studying for this one. Especially since this professor would be expecting great things from her, based on her excellent essay. She winced, 'I should never have let Dilandau write that for me,' she thought softly.

She sighed and rose from her bed to stand by her bedroom. She gently picked up the long white feather on her shelf and played with it absently. "How are you doing, Van?" she whispered into the starry sky.

She closed her eyes as his voice filled her mind and a joyous smile washed over her face. He always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better, to soothe her worries. Their words turned to what was going on in their lives, and Van told her all about how the harvest was going in Fanelia. She sighed dreamily, it all sounded so lovely, and she started to wish she was just there with him.

"Is there anything wrong, Love?" Van's concerned voice echoed in her mind. "You're so quiet all the sudden."

Hitomi smiled softly, "I was just thinking how lovely it would be to be with you right now."

She could sense Van's smile in reply. "You can come back anytime you like you know. Being Queen of Fanelia doesn't require a university degree." Hitomi laughed, sensing the humour in his voice. She knew he respected her decision, but also that it amused him that something she wanted to be doing could get her so upset and anxious.

"Anyway," Van continued, "how's your 'roommate' doing? Behaving, I hope?" There was a slight edge to his voice; he still wasn't exactly pleased with the arrangement in place.

"You won't believe me if I told you," Hitomi said with a soft giggle. "Van, he's managed to get several job offers, and is learning how to cook! I would never have believed any of it except that I'm seeing it with my own eyes." She paused for a moment, reflecting. "I think Celena was right. He truly has changed. Even you wouldn't be able to hold a grudge against him, Van."

In the hallway outside Hitomi's closed door, Dilandau stood holding a glass of red wine to his lips, a dangerous smile on his face. His plan was working more perfectly than he could have imagined. Hitomi trusted him.

* * *

Adore the irony! Please! O, so I don't own "The Art of War" obviously, but I needed something Dilly would willingly read. Rice vermicelli and veggie stir-fry is my usual supper, so that's definitely why they're eating it.

Stay tuned for Dilly's adventures at the fire station! And a job interview… so where would Dilly make a good salesman?


	13. Chapter 13

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: Still don't own Escaflowne.

* * *

**_Chapter 13: Reality Bytes…_**

The computer screen glowed faintly, illuminating the pale face of the young man who sat before it, rereading what he had typed just moments ago in his fit of frustration:

Monday, November 13

Quote of the day: "In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time." - Edward P. Tryon

Mood: aggravated

Today was unbelievable. I must admit that the source of the problem was my own ignorance. Here I am, a veritable expert at all things computer-related, and I never bothered to google the word "fire station." If you are laughing, you should wipe the smirk off your face before I hunt you down and end your pathetic existence. I am enduring the most exquisite torture imaginable and you find it amusing. Well you can just…

Dilandau stared at the blinking cursor and sulked. There was no way he could possibly post this thing. No way. It was just too pathetic really. He had really gone to this fire station believing that they would have fire there. It seemed logical didn't it? Fire. Station. Station of fire? He shook the pale strands of hair from his face and glared at the screen. He growled. Why was he wasting his time doing this again anyway? "Because you're ridiculously lonely and bored." He whispered into the room, as he tortured himself with memories of this pathetic day again.

He had strode so confidently into the fire station. A tired middle-aged man had greeted him with a smile. He had invited Dilandau into the building, and that was when he saw it. The bright red vehicle that he recognized from the day he started that fire, the large, speeding vehicle that he booed every time it appeared in the television shows he watched, the vehicle that could only mean one thing. He stared in shock around the interior of the building. A fire station was where the people who _put out_ fires stayed!

Admittedly it wasn't entirely terrible once he began the simple tasks they had for him. He was glad to know that he wouldn't be expected to put out any fires himself, nor would he have to watch them put out fires. All he had to do was clean the equipment and the building every Monday for 8 hours for the next five weeks. It wasn't really so bad. He had to keep telling himself this, angry at the trick. It was then that he heard the soft laughter echoing in his head.

'You're too precious!' Celena's voice echoed in his mind, as her laughter continued. 'I'm _so happy_ I didn't tell you what a fire station was when you asked! This is too funny to miss!'

_Glad you're enjoying the show. _He had snarled in reply, promptly shutting her out for the rest of the day.

He sat defeated at Hitomi's desk now, knowing that in the next few minutes she'd be getting home from her last class and would demand her computer be returned to her. He yawned, those bloody firemen had made him work hard! He cringed, cleaning equipment made him tired? Dilandau Albatou, who could fight for hours, was tired by cleaning? What on earth had he let himself come to? He slumped and as he had seen Hitomi do so often, let his head rest on the keyboard.

Hitomi walked into her bedroom and froze with shock. Dilandau was slumped in her position in front of the computer. She paused, she had never seen him look so defeated. Ever. It took her a moment to register the slow rise and fall of his chest. She smiled, he was asleep. She walked quietly over to the computer and smiled when she saw the screen. Dilandau had a blog?

She leaned over the pale young man and dragged the screen up from its extensive lines of gibberish. She bit her lip, trying hard not to laugh. She pulled away from the screen and took another look at the young man, with his pale hair splayed across the keyboard. She bit her lip harder but it was really no use. Her laughter burst out wildly and only intensified when Dilandau raised his head only to reveal the imprint of the keyboard across his face. He stared at her with clouded eyes for a long moment as he tried to figure out where he was.

His eyes widened and he bolted from the room, chased by the sound of Hitomi's laughter. He braked in the hallway, as a mirror on the wall told him everything he needed to know. He hissed, realizing he'd also left his half-written blog up too. He gritted his teeth, this was his own fault. He turned to see Hitomi gasping and trying to stop her laughter. "I'm sorry Dilandau," she gulped some air, "you just looked so funny!" She exploded into laughter again.

He stared at her for a moment before grabbing his jacket and stalking out the door. "Bitch." He muttered under his breathe as the door slammed behind him.

* * *

Dilandau stared suspiciously at the stores that surrounded him as he entered the shopping mall. He had actually found the job advertisement online. He really had no idea what the store itself looked like. He shrugged, it couldn't possibly be worse than the fire station incident he told himself. He wandered around the mall, killing time before his interview. He rehearsed the lines he had chosen to say over and over in his head. He'd read countless pages on how to write resumes, how to survive an interview, how to get a job, and for some reason still felt nervous.

He paused in front of the slightly reflective glass of a store. He stared himself down. You, he thought, you who can defeat a country; you who are feared and respected; you who was never afraid or nervous of battle – you're scared of a little interview? He shook his head and took stock of himself. Hitomi had taken it upon herself to ensure he had clothing to wear. This basically meant she had handed him a handful of cash and pushed him out the door, with directions for the closest clothing store. He had somehow managed to scrap together a half decent wardrobe with the meager amount she'd allowed him. On the other hand, he had realized how much this was while skimming the job ads and noting how low the hourly wage was. How did people survive on this?

He wore black jeans, and a tight dark purple t-shirt under a black leather jacket. He shrugged, so it was fake leather. It was the look that mattered. He approached the store cautiously. Clothes similar to the ones he was wearing were displayed in the front windows, along with its female counterparts. He took one look inside the store and smiled broadly. This would be easier than he had thought.

Every employee was young and female. They were all in various "stylish" outfits, "stylish" being a code word for "revealing." Over three-quarters of the store catered solely to the female population, and the customers Dilandau spotted appeared to be mainly fourteen or fifteen year old girls. With an easy stride he sauntered up to the cash register and told the girl standing there his name and that he was there for an interview, making sure to catch the girl's eyes and stare into them intently. He realized then that he had the upperhand with the opposite sex. Living in Celena's head had taught him exactly what they wanted.

The girl had smiled, melting a little under his burning gaze. "Actually," she began, her voice a tad sultry, "my name is Melanie, and I'm the assistant manager. I'll be conducting your interview."

Dilandau smiled and eyed her up and down from behind as he followed her to the backroom of the store where the interview would take place. Piece of cake, he thought with a smirk, bet I can even get away without references.

* * *

Hitomi walked into her apartment exhausted. Why had she scheduled so many classes into one day? Sure it gave her Fridays off to study, but was it really worth it? She felt like she hardly had energy to make supper. She lifted her head and sniffed the air. What on earth smelt so good?

She turned to the kitchen where she watched in amazement as Dilandau stood by the stove, a fresh salad on the counter, a pot of mashed potatoes on the stove, and a dish filled with something that looked like fish, but smelt like heaven in his oven-mitted hands. She stared at him for a long moment.

He smiled back slyly. "I got the job."

Hitomi pushed back from the table, stuffed. "How did you learned to cook like that?" she asked in amazement.

Dilandau shrugged. "All you have to do is follow the instructions. It's not as if cooking is all that difficult." He lazed in his chair. "Now, you get to do the dishes."

She sighed, fair was fair. "So, how did you get the job without references?" she asked him, hoping to delay the doing of dishes a little while longer.

"They were willing to make an exception." He replied, a dark tone to his voice. "Besides, they desperately need someone to cover the Christmas rush." He chose not to mention the fact that he had just about every female employee in awe of him. Better not to put ideas into Hitomi's head. He'd answered every question on that interview sheet. The secret was eye contact, he thought. He remembered just how the way some of those knights had looked at Celena had made her feel like jelly inside, much to his disgust. But there it was: he knew the things to say and the way to look. Several years stuck in a woman's head can do that to you, he figured.

Hitomi looked at him suspiciously as she cleared the table. What exactly had he done to get the job? she wondered. After a moment she decided that maybe she just didn't want to know.

* * *

Dilandau arrived for his shift and clocked in a minute before his shift was to start. He glanced around the store and mentally slapped himself for his choice in careers. The tables of t-shirts and tank tops were heaps of unfolded fabric, the piles of jeans were nasty tangles, and the tops someone had thought to save from this fate by hanging on hangars were generally in the process of sliding off said hangars. He grumbled and walked onto the sales floor, stalking the cheap tile like a predator.

A young girl startled him as he was folding jeans, while debating violently, yet silently, with himself whether walking out of the store right now would really be such a bad thing. She stared at him for a long moment, eyeing him in his tight t-shirt. He raised his eyes questioningly, slightly disturbed that a child would be looking at him that way, she looked barely twelve. Finally she nonchalantly held out a pair of jeans to him, "I want these, but in a size 6." She told him in a bored and superior tone. For a moment Dilandau stood stupefied, shocked that someone dare address _him_ in that tone of voice.

Then something in him snapped. By the time the little girl had left the store, he had talked her into not just one, but three pairs of jeans and several new tops as well. They went just so well with her eyes, or they fit like a dream. And he had such an odd way of appreciatively looking at the girl, determining not just that the clothes fit, but suggesting with his eyes to the girl that these clothes were not just the right size, but were in fact made for her.

By the end of the week, he was every customer's favourite salesperson – every customer except the parents and the boyfriends of the young girls that was. The manager observed this, but shrugged it off. His sales were already the best in the store. Who was she to complain?

* * *

Hitomi wandered into the mall one day with several of her new friends. She wondered questioningly which store it was Dilandau worked in. He'd been working for several weeks now and had still avoided telling her. She let her friends choose the stores. She shrugged, she wasn't really the mall type herself. She had always preferred little stores, with the same small group of people working in them. In malls, turnover seemed so high you never saw the same salesperson ever, no matter how often you visited.

She realized suddenly that they had stopped. "I'm not going in there; you've got to be kidding me!" Sayuri exclaimed. "All they have are cheap clothes and useless twits for salespeople."

"That's not what I heard," Aiko told her friend. "My sister told me that they just hired a gorgeous guy who can sell you anything."

"Great," muttered Sayuri, "you're kid sister? Don't you think she'd probably find every older guy gorgeous?"

Aiko scowled at her friend. "Well we might as well look! It's not like you have to buy anything. Come on Hitomi, let's go." She grabbed Hitomi by the wrist and pulled her into the store.

"Good evening ladies," called out a familiar voice. "Anything I can help you find? Today our sweaters are all two for one, and I'm sure I can find one perfect for you…" The salesman trailed off slowly. "Hitomi." Dilandau said, stiffening visibly, his voice back down to a more familiar and sulky tone. At that moment several young girls walked in, and Dilandau walked off to repeat his previous spiel.

Hitomi stood in shock for a moment. Dilandau worked here? She gazed around the tacky little store and started snickering. A voice found its way beside her ear and hissed, "It pays the bills, now shut up and get out! You're scaring my customers."

Aiko and Sayuri followed the still snickering Hitomi out of the store in silence. "You know that guy?" They both demanded at the same instant.

Hitomi swallowed her laughter, "Yeah," she said, tears of merriment in her eyes, "he's my roommate."

Aiko pounced on her. "You have a gorgeous roommate and you haven't introduced me to him!?"

Hitomi shook her head, confused. "Dilandau's not that good looking." Her friends stared at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Don't forget, Aiko," Sayuki finally said, "Hitomi's engaged. She obviously is so caught up in her romance that she's become blind."

Aiko stared at Hitomi for a long moment. "So would you mind if I dated him?"

* * *

Review! I will love you more? Stay tuned for some time with Celena and Allen and Van – can't completely ignore Gaea, now can I? 


	14. Chapter 14

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: Still don't own Escaflowne.

* * *

**_Chapter 14: The Truth Comes Out_**

Allen led his horse towards the stable of the outpost that sat on the border between Asturia and Fanelia. Once the horse was safe in a stall, he set to work patiently brushing down the animal. At this outpost there was no money for stable boys or servants, the knights that guarded the post and those that passed through had to look after their own needs. Allen had found it a little odd that this had always been one of Celena's favourite stopping points. He sighed; Celena seemed to have no real desire to be a proper lady. He wondered if perhaps all the years living as Dilandau had robbed her of much of her femininity. She seemed such a tomboy.

Finished with the horse, he strolled over to the main building, but paused outside the door. It was open a crack, so he could clearly hear the conversation going on inside the room, though he himself was out of sight of the men within. He shook his head; he couldn't possibly have heard them mention his sister's name could he? He stood uncertain, proper manners dictated that he walk in and pretend he'd heard nothing, there was nothing good that could come of eavesdropping. He moved his hand forward, but was stilled by what he heard next.

"That Celena! I've never met a girl who can kiss like she can!" A rowdy voice announced to the room. Allen's blood chilled as he recognized the voice of one of the three knights who regularly was posted there. "It's too bad Allen didn't bring that sister of his with this time. I could've used her friendly face. It's been awful lonely out here."

"You braggart. You know very well she isn't that friendly." A calmer voice replied gruffly. Allen breathed a sigh of relief, thankful someone was defending his sister's honour.

"You just keep telling yourself, Rorkin. I know you like to think she's got stars in her eyes for you, but we all know that when you weren't at the castle, she was in the stable snogging with the stable boy." Allen paled. Sir Rorkin was one of Van's knights. The gears in his mind worked faster than usual, piecing together the strange responses of that Fanelian stable boy and his willingness to cover for Celena, with this last statement.

Allen continued to listen, horrified at what he was hearing, but unable to tear himself away. He didn't want to believe a word that was being said, but somehow it all made sense. It was like all the pieces of the puzzle that was his sister were coming together and presenting to him a very ugly picture.

"One day she'll go too far though. I know she thinks she's playing it safe now, but what happens when one of you young men gets impatient or jealous?" An older voice said from the back of the room. Allen's eyes widened in horror, that voice belonged to the oldest of the Knights Caeli. A man who despite his age was still an outstanding swordsman, and undoubtedly one of the most respected in Asturia. Allen raised a hand to his face and covered his eyes. What had Celena done? Did the whole country, no, all of Gaea know about his sister's little "exploits"? Everyone except him knew firsthand it seemed.

He heard Rorkin speak up again. "Well, hopefully the man who really gets the girl will be decent enough to stay with her." There was a sorrow in his voice that threw the other men for a moment, causing a pause in the colourful conversation. Allen stood outside the door, so despondent that he didn't even realize the door was opening into his face, revealing his shocked and horrified expression to the men in the room.

"Well," the oldest knight spoke finally, "its good you finally know Allen." Allen wondered if that was really true. At least he was able to dispel the idea that Celena wasn't interested in men.

* * *

"You have to keep up before I'll let you kiss me!" Celena shouted to the rider behind her, as she raced at breakneck speeds through the forest. The last of the autumn leaves fell around her and the chill of the oncoming winter was already in the wind. It was a breathtaking feeling, and she loved it. Speed and the passion of a kiss were the things she lived for, she thought softly and unrepentantly. Without Dilly to keep her company, she found that most other aspects of her life were rapidly losing whatever interest they'd once held for her.

She wondered fleetingly whether coming back to Gaea had really been the best choice. Sure she'd missed her horses and her lifestyle, but after reading the books Hitomi had lent her, she was starting to realize that there were lots of places on the Mystic Moon that were absolutely nothing like Tokyo. That and she found the book on science as perplexing as wonderful. The idea that there were planets beyond Gaea and Earth – planets that had formed somehow on their own, without any powers of Atlantis, enthralled her. This astronomy she'd discovered was rapidly becoming something she could live for. Having reread the book three times, she now had to rely on what Dilandau would willingly read and then tell her about at night, when they would contact each other. Dark rooms always seemed far too empty.

"Guess you owe me a kiss then!" a triumphant young voice shook her from her reverie. She was mildly astonished to see that Matt had finally outpaced her. At least, she was until she realized that she'd let Bluebell slow down while she was daydreaming. "Fair is fair." Celena said with a smile, as the two horses slowed to a walk, and fell in beside each other. She leaned over to the young man and kissed him chastely on the cheek.

He gave her a rather annoyed look. "That ain't a kiss Celena." He received a coy smile in response. Moments later he was once again staring at the receding back of the girl who'd enchanted him. Celena was the reason he'd applied to be the Schezar's latest stable boy. Though he knew that eventually Celena would get bored of him, and send him away soon too, he savoured these moments. He highly doubted a woman like Celena would ever be a part of his life again. It was no secret that Sir Allen was already starting to look for a husband for Celena.

By the time he arrived back at the stable, Celena was already grooming her tired horse. "Took you long enough." She stated plainly.

He smiled at her, "Not all of us are speed demons."

"Speed demon?" Celena asked, a smile curling around her lips. She sashayed up to the young man, "I kinda like that." She whispered against his lips.

"Celena!" A ragged yell splintered the air. Celena paled. "Celena." Allen said softly this time, heartbreak evident in his voice, as the visual proof of the stories he'd heard stood before him.

* * *

Celena sat at the table in the dining room. Allen stood sadly by the window. "So what was wrong with this one?" he asked heavily. This was the fifth suitor Celena had dismissed after a single meal with the man.

"He was old, and uninteresting."

"You say that about all of them." Allen muttered in frustration. Trying to salvage what little honour Celena had left was proving difficult.

"Well maybe you should stop picking guys who are twice my age." Celena glared back at him.

"Celena," breathed Allen, "What happened to you? I was hoping that maybe all those stories about you…" he gritted his teeth as he spoke the next word, "kissing all those men were perhaps a result of Dilandau controlling you. But to arrive home and see you with Keith!"

"Matt." Allen looked at her confused. "I fired Keith and hired Matt the day you left." Celena explained.

Allen stared at her for a long moment. "But that's like ten stable boys in as many months." Realization dawned slowly upon the tall blonde. He collapsed into a chair. "What am I going to do with you, Celena?"

"Nothing. I'm my own person! I don't need you to be matchmaking for me. I'm not ready for commitment anyway."

Allen stared at his sister in disbelief. How could this possibly be the cute little girl he remembered?

* * *

Allen paced the floor of Van's study. Having finally lost his patience with his stubborn sister, he'd sought out the advice of a friend. He figured that Van might possibly have some insight, after all, he and Hitomi were Celena's age, and they were engaged. There had to be something to change Celena's mind.

"You're wearing a hole into my carpet." Van's voice rose above the piles of paperwork stacked onto the large wooden desk that occupied most of the study.

Allen grunted in response, preoccupied with his own thoughts.

Van stared at the ceiling and counted to five, thoroughly annoyed with his friend. He had several days worth of documents that needed to be read and signed and here Allen was, acting like it was the end of the world that Celena made a pastime of kissing random men. He sighed, putting the paper down onto the desk that he currently held.

Pulling his chair back he stepped away from the desk and stretched languidly. "Alright Allen, let's walk."

On the ramparts of the castle, Van contemplated the blue-green globe that his beloved lived upon. Lived with his mortal enemy upon. He shook his head; this was not the time to dwell upon these thoughts. He stared at his pensive friend for a long moment. "Allen, out of curiosity, how many women have you kissed?"

Allen swung his head around rapidly to look at the young king. "A knight wouldn't…"

"Kiss and tell?" Van smiled. "Hitomi says it." He replied to the knight's confused look. "Just a rough estimate, Allen."

The knight stood speechless for a long moment. "I… I don't know." He finally admitted, sheepishly remembering that Van's future wife was on this unimaginably long list.

"Exactly." Van said simply. He turned his head to look at his friend critically. "You have to remember that Celena is _your_ sister. A Schezar is still a Schezar, right?" He smiled nervously at Allen, knowing that it was only the fact that he was royalty that was saving him from being pushed off the top of his own castle. After a long moment Allen sighed.

"Listen," Van said softly, "My court is pretty much all young men looking for wives. Why not send Celena here for awhile? Surely she'll find a guy that she could see herself spending forever with." His gaze turned back to the weighty globe that filled the skies of Fanelia, "It'll also ensure no one looks at Hitomi the wrong way when she comes back." He said in a half-whisper, wishing she was there now, safe in his arms.

* * *

Awww, sappy ending! I don't actually like sappy moments, but this one does kinda fit. You can just picture Van sitting all wistful on the top of his castle, staring at the Earth, thinking about Hitomi. I had to recycle the line about the Schezar's too! Wouldn't it just be lovely falling from Van's lips? Seeing as how his future wife was one of Allen's countless kissed? Ah the irony.

O, and review! I'll love you more! And wish you lots of chocolate to get you through exams (assuming most people have exams starting soon like I do).


	15. Chapter 15

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: Still don't own Escaflowne.

Hope you all don't mind – this chapter is a bit darker than the usual. It's rather a serious chapter, but I need it to accomplish my own fiendish ends. Hope you all still like it.

* * *

**_Chapter 15: Fade Out_**

Celena stood happily by the window of her room. She watched the wind blow through the skeletal trees, rattling them like old, dry bones, against the grey sky background. Even the dark atmosphere couldn't spoil her mood. Currently she was installed in a room in an inn, halfway to Fanelia, where she would be joining the royal court. Her smile widened, I bet Hitomi had something to do with all this, she thought mischievously.

A knock sounded on her door, and she walked over smoothly, glad to be free of the awkward skirts Allen insisted upon her wearing all the time. All the riding warranted riding pants. Her thoughts paused for a moment, wondering at how rapidly the role she'd been playing for Allen's sake was unraveling now that Dilandau wasn't there to laugh with about it. It seemed that now she had made the choice to stick with Gaia, she had to find a way of living that was really right for her.

She stared warily at the door, wondering who it could be. Allen had already checked on her earlier. She wracked her mind for who she knew in the small town. Perhaps? She opened the door slowly, and a pair of dark eyes stared back at her. "Nick!" she squealed. Last time she'd been in town, Sir Nicholas the Second (at least she thought that was his full title), had showed her around, and gone riding with her. She smiled winningly, and almost laughed at herself for nearly forgetting him.

* * *

Allen watched the young brown-haired man suspiciously. The man had looked over at Allen several times now, and seemed vaguely familiar. He watched the man pay his bar tab, and walk confidently up the stairs to the hotel rooms above the tavern. A frown crossed his features as he called over the barmaid. "Who was that man?" he asked her softly, a sparkling smile bestowed upon the girl. 

She beamed at him in return. "Sir Nicolas, or Nick, as he insists we all call him." Allen frowned again at the fact that a knight should be so forward. "He's a pretty big tipper," the girl said wistfully, "I wonder who he's staying with tonight?"

Allen stared at the young woman in disbelief. Could girls really admire men like that? Let themselves be toyed with and played? He shook his head, ever since his discovery of Celena's pastimes, he'd taken to analyzing the female half of the race in ways he never had before. He had always taken for granted the admiring looks, and the coy smiles of young women, but now he was beginning to wonder why. Most of the knights he knew were as far from gentlemanly as he could imagine.

* * *

Celena relaxed in her chair, as she and Nick chatted like old friends. Nick was posted at this small, backwater Asturian town for some reason or other. Celena had her suspicions it may have been for poor conduct, after all, similar situations had wound Allen up in the backwaters, so it followed didn't it? Knights were knights though, as far as she was concerned. No matter how rough they might be on the edges, they all had the same code of chivalry engraved in their minds as Allen. 

Celena couldn't understand then why she was starting to feel so nervous. There was something in the man's eyes when he thought she wasn't looking, something oddly hungry. She turned her mind to other matters and chattered aimlessly about horses instead, but she couldn't fight the strange atmosphere that was attacking the conversation. Nick's responses were vague, and further and further between. Celena suddenly rose from her seat. "Anyway, it was lovely to see you again Nick, but I'm afraid it has been a very long day. I'm feeling rather tired." She smiled sweetly, and she began to walk towards the door to open it.

She watched the scruffy knight rise slowly from his seat and walk towards her. There was something eerie in his movements, like a predator stalking prey. The worried feelings were rising ever sharper in her chest, and for the first time Celena felt fear pricking her throat in the presence of a man. She realized suddenly why she had always been so brash with men. Dilandau had always simmered just below the surface, ever aching for a fight. Had any man turned violent on her, he could have fought her battle.

Her breathe caught in her throat as Nick closed the distance between them. Where was Dilandau when she needed him? Or had she brought this on herself? "I believe you implied something to me last time you visited," Nick breathed in her ear.

"I.. What do you mean?" she stammered weakly. "Implied?"

"I believe a kiss says many things, my dear Celena. It implies desire, and longing. It begs to be returned." The man's voice left chills up her spine. She wondered now how she'd ever been stupid enough to kiss this particular creep. His lips gently brushed against her face, "I believe that a kiss is a first step. Isn't it funny that I feel like dancing?" he whispered roughly.

"I think you should leave. Now." Celena summoned every ounce of her courage and strength and stepped back from the man. "I must insist you leave this moment."

"Now, now, Celena. Don't fight what you desire." Celena backed away from the man, who was once again approaching her. Suddenly Celena found herself with her back to the wall. A wall that did not have the door to the hallway in it. With an intensely creepy, and threatening male encroaching on her private space.

'Dilandau!' She screamed in her mind. 'Please! Where are you? O god, please, please! Help me! Where the hell are you when I need you?'

* * *

Dilandau stared boredly at the set up the mall had going on the main floor. "Santa's Castle," he read disinterestedly. He glanced at the seemingly unending line up of pushy mothers and snotty children. Most of which seemed to regard the experience as a form of torture rather than the joyous experience their mothers seemed to register it as. Dilandau snorted, his break had only begun, and already he was bored enough to lose his mind. 

Suddenly his head felt like it was about to split open. Celena's mental screams could fracture nerves. _Celena?_ _Calm down. What the hell is going on?_ He demanded quickly, hoping that she would stop before his skull actually did crack open.

'Dilandau!' The young man stood shaken, never in his life had he expected to hear anyone say his name with so much relief in their voice. 'Dilandau… see through my eyes…' Celena said now softly in his head.

Still shaken, Dilandau complied, only to find himself viewing a darkening room, with a rather large burly knight before him, just a footstep or so away, and definitely not a friendly look on his face. _Not this guy! Celena I warned you about this one! _He gritted his teeth, taking in the geometry of the room, the door nearly diagonal to where Celena stood. He released the hold over her eyes. _Do you have any sort of weapon?_ He asked calmly, focused solely on getting that girl out of this ridiculous situation.

'Small knife, in my pocket.' Dilandau winced, this would be tough, Celena already sounded like she was about to pass out, and then what could he do?

_Alright, take the knife and hold it in front of you, point it directly at his heart. That should keep him off you. Then inch along the wall until you're several feet from the corner, got it? Once you're there, I want you to sprint to the next wall, far enough from the corner that he can't back you into it. _He held his breathe, waiting for her to respond.

'He grabbed my wrist!' Celena seemed on the verge of desperation, Dilandau could almost feel the tears that were running down her face in fear. He took a deep breathe.

_Grab his sword. You should be able to reach it._

'Are you crazy? I can't use a sword!'

_DO IT! As long as you can hold it up and point it at him you'll be fine!_ Dilandau hissed, causing a mother to usher her child by rapidly, all the while staring at the pale young man with daggers in her eyes. Dilandau realized too late he'd said the last thing out loud. He sighed, sure it had been interpreted rather poorly.

He snapped his attention back to Celena, and gasped. All he could hear were the instructions for moves, all the theory he'd ever learnt about swordplay was being related back at him in Celena's tense mental voice.

Celena tensed, aware that Dilandau's suggestion was really her only option. Time seemed to stretch, as she pulled the sword from Nick's side with her free hand. The vice grip he had on her wrist loosened enough for her to pull away, and she pointed the sword at his chest. She took a deep breathe and then froze. Her hands repositioned themselves around the hilt of the sword. All the sudden she could see dozens of moves open to her, dozens of attacks, dozens of ways to make this man pay for his nasty intentions.

Her eyes hardened. Everything Dilandau had ever learned, every single hour he had trained, was etched into her memory. Her pretty little mouth twitched into an ugly smirk, and she threw herself forward.

Slash. The sleeve of the man's shirt dangled by a few threads. Thrust. The man just managed to save his liver by jumping backwards. Slash. A bright red line appeared across his forearm. Thrust. The man again jumped back, this time just saving his heart from being impaled on the deadly blade. Slash. Celena's smirk widened as a jagged gash opened across the man face, marring his features. Slash, thrust, slash. Suddenly the man found himself backed into a closet, a closet the doors were suddenly thrown closed to.

Celena quickly pushed the sword through the handles of the closet doors, trapping the man with his own weapon. She scurried to the doorway and screamed.

* * *

Allen pondered the ale in his mug. It wasn't very good. He wasn't sure he could justify finishing this to have a third. Though alcohol was a good thing, he wasn't sure it would be worth drinking another sip of this swill. Celena's scream ripped through the air, chilling him to the bone. Within moments the tall blonde had sprinted up the stairs, his hand on the hilt of his sword. 

He paused at the doorway to Celena's room. The young woman stood safe before him, trembling, her forehead shining with perspiration. "He's…he's in the closet." She stuttered. "I think he may have had rather unpleasant intentions for what's left of my honour." Blue eyes met blue, and Allen raised his sword as he entered the room. He pulled the sword from the closet handles and prepared himself for attack. None came.

He edged the doors open slowly. The brown haired man he'd been watching earlier in the tavern sat huddled on the closet floor, rocking back and forth slowly. Allen gasped; the man's shirt was in tatters, and blood dripped from the man's face and arms. The man raised his eyes slowly and fearfully to meet Allen's. A look of relief spread across the man's tortured face.

Celena stepped into his field of view, and the man cringed. He clung to Allen's boot. "Please, please, don't let her near me. Don't let her touch me. Please." He whimpered. "I'll do anything, just keep her away. Keep her away!" The man's voice rose unnaturally. "She's a demon." He sputtered softly.

Allen stared down at the broken man in shock. He raised his gaze to Celena. 'Dilandau?' she whispered in her mind. 'Tell me you did that?'

Dilandau shook his head laughing, not caring about the strange looks he was earning from the stressed shoppers around him. _No no, Celena, that was all you! _His laughter reached her mind, _You were amazing. The form! The ruthlessness! I'm so proud of you! Just imagine if you practiced sword fighting!_

Celena gazed back into the deep blue eyes of her brother. "Celena," Allen whispered softly. His gaze fell back to the man who still clung to his boot, muttering. "Did you really do this?" He raised his eyes back to his sister's pale face.

Celena nodded softly. "I... I remember everything. Everything Dilandau ever learned. And I didn't need him. It was just me." A look of alarm spread across her features, and her eyes fell to the floor. "It was just me," she whispered softly. Her features hardened, and she raised her eyes to face Allen once more. "He attacked me, and I attacked back."

The young woman was silhouetted by the light from the hall that poured in behind her. Allen stared at his sister in shock, taking in her clenched fists and the cool fire that burned in her eyes. He took in her stance, and the look of determination on her features. He sighed softly, it seemed all so familiar. But he couldn't place it if it reminded him more of Dilandau, or his own reflection.

* * *

Allen stood by the window of Van's study. It had been over a week since the incident, but it still haunted him. Van looked up from his endless paperwork to observe his friend, relieved to see that this time he wasn't pacing. Not that he found the knight's brooding silence any more appealing, but it at least allowed him to get his work done for a change. Staring at the latest report on potato tariffs, he decided that anything would be more interesting. 

"So what did Celena do this time?" he asked the blonde as he leaned back in his chair, gauging the knight's reaction.

Oddly enough, Allen didn't even blink. "Well, technically she was attacked. But from what I gather, the moment she got ahold of the guy's sword, it went the other way."

Van gave a low chuckle. He had figured that Celena was tougher than most. "It's really not amusing." Allen said reprovingly, shaking his head at the young king. "You didn't see the guy after. He was a wreck. I didn't know… I don't want to believe a woman is capable of such ruthlessness."

Van stared at Allen for a long moment, thinking about how many times he'd seen Merle toying with a mouse or a lizard. Taunting them, and terrifying them. He sighed, Allen was extremely clueless if he didn't believe in the bloodthirsty nature of the opposite sex. "Well, shouldn't you be happy she can defend herself?" Van asked softly.

Allen sighed. "I don't know what to do. Ever since the incident, Celena has been badgering me about getting a sword of her own, and practicing. What kind of woman wants to fight? What use does she have for sword fighting? How will she find a husband? They'll be terrified of losing an arm in the night!"

Van shook his head. How many times had he asked Hitomi to learn how to sword fight? In his opinion a woman should know how to defend herself, especially a queen. As it was, if Hitomi kept refusing, he'd have to assign her a knight to protect her. He shook his head, apparently Hitomi had yet to accept the fact that a queen was often considered an easy target. "Well Allen." He measured his words carefully. "I actually encourage the women in my kingdom to learn to defend themselves. So, if she really does choose to look for a husband here, fear on their part should really be no problem."

Allen looked aghast at Van. "You let women fight?" he asked meekly.

"Yes," Van replied, "I'm actually thinking of opening the knight's training to women as well. They actually fight better than most men I find. They use their emotions to fuel their strength, but they tend not to let it cloud their judgement." Allen stood speechless. Van stared at the knight, "Technically," he said softly, "Celena could do that here."

"You mean train to be a knight." Allen said, his voice low and emotionless.

"She'd probably like it better than training to be a lady of the court," Van replied with a smirk.

Allen returned to his place by the window, and resumed his staring contest with his reflection. Life seemed to be giving him no option but to change the way he viewed the world it seemed.

* * *

Allen softly cracked open the door to Celena's room. They'd said goodbye last night, for he was to leave in a matter of minutes, at dawn's first light. He watched his sister sleeping, taking note of the dagger she now kept by her bedside and sighed. He walked softly into the room, carrying a long, narrow box. He picked up the dagger from her bedside and placed in back on his person, where it belonged. 

He gave her a long look, and put the box down where the dagger had been. It was tied with a pale blue ribbon. He hoped she would realize his intent, and that he just wanted what was best for her. He kissed her on the forehead and left the room silently, hoping he had done the right thing.

* * *

Haha...finally something that can be interpreted as a cliffhanger! O, so this definitely just slipped out when I was supposed to be studying... you know how it goes. Please review and let me know what you think! 

Also, I want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far! You guys are all awesome! You inspire me to keep going. :)


	16. Chapter 16

_What happens when it fades?_

Disclaimer: Don't own Escaflowne… have you guessed I just copy and paste this everytime?

I apologize in advance if Aiko is not a favourite. She's my way of furthering my plot line… if you hate her let me know and she will go sooner rather than later. :P

* * *

**_Chapter 16: Boxes… and Merry Christmas_**

Hitomi did not like the idea of leaving Dilandau to his own devices for two weeks, but she had promised her family she would come home for Christmas. She sighed, it wasn't like she could bring him home with her; trust her family to finally notice the ring she wore on her hand and assume she was engaged to Dilandau. She shuddered, that would be pure horror. Nervously she shouldered her bag and stared around the apartment, worried what state it might be in next time she saw it.

She took a deep breathe and left the apartment, closing the door firmly behind her. "At least I have renter's insurance if anything too horrifying happens," she whispered to herself. She turned to leave, "But I don't really have that much. And the deductible is really high." She turned back around, sighed, and reopened the door, beginning her third search of the apartment to make sure nothing flammable remained.

* * *

Dilandau stared at the cupboards of the kitchen. Leave it to Hitomi to stop grocery shopping just because she wouldn't be there. He sighed, grabbing a box of crackers, and a jar of peanut butter. It wouldn't be much of a supper, but at least it was food. He walked wearily over to the sofa and landed with a flop. Nine hours at the mall, eight of which were spent folding clothes and convincing bratty teenagers to spend their money, was not his ideal way to spend a day. He sighed, mentally calculating his current savings. He smiled contentedly, at this rate he would be able to afford a laptop by February, all the while covering his half of the rent.

Halfheartedly he began to spread peanut butter on the crackers, wondering for the umpteenth time that week when and how Dilandau Albatou, Commander of the Dragon Slayers, had ended up like this. A knock sounded at the door and Dilandau growled. There were few things that irked him more than having his introspective sulks interrupted. Slowly he rose from the couch and stomped over to the door, slamming it open. He stared boredly at the red head that stood in the hallway. Her blue eyes stared coolly back into his. "Is Hitomi here?" she asked nonchalantly, running her fingers through her artificially reddened locks.

Dilandau shook his head, "She's gone home for Christmas break."

"O," the girl said softly. Dilandau stared at her for a long moment, wondering why she didn't leave. "Do you think I could get a glass of water?" she finally asked.

Dilandau sighed, "Fine." He retreated into the kitchen and filled up a glass of water, promptly bringing it over to the door, only to find her boots sitting by the door. He turned around to see the redhead removing her scarf and mittens in the living room, taking in her surroundings.

"I didn't think Hitomi was such the neat freak." She stated as Dilandau handed her the glass. She glanced down at the coffee table in front of the couch. "Not much of a supper there." She commented, looking back up at Dilandau's slightly confused expression. She laughed finally, "Sorry! I'm Aiko! I totally forgot to introduce myself, Hitomi talks about you so much I totally forgot you didn't know me." She smirked softly, it was a lie of course, Hitomi only rarely spoke about Dilandau and even then Aiko had to pry the information out of her.

Dilandau took in the young woman, not impressed. He felt vaguely flattered that Hitomi spoke of him at all, but the smirk on the girl's face betrayed her lie. She also seemed like a bit of an airhead. Finally Dilandau gave her a small nod, hopefully she would leave soon and he could return to his introspective sulking.

"Since it looks like you have no food in the house, want to get something to eat with me?" the girl said after a long awkward moment. "I was in the area and thought of asking Hitomi if she wanted to grab a bite, but if she's gone, would you like to go?" She smiled at him, "Surely it gets a little lonely all by yourself?"

Dilandau considered turning down the offer and glaring at the girl, but something stopped him. Yes, he would be alone if she left. Celena was celebrating some going away party for Allen, or maybe it was a welcome Celena party? He shook his head, either way, he would be alone. In the dark apartment. Alone. And he was hungry. Suddenly the redhead's offer seemed rather appealing.

* * *

Celena woke to find sunlight streaming in the window. She scowled, she'd had every intention to get up at dawn to see Allen off. Goodbyes or no, she was still his sister, and who knew the next time she would see him? She sighed, flopping across her pillows, at least she still had his dagger to remind her of him. She glanced over to the bedstead, only to see the dagger gone, a fairly large, slender box in its place instead. She hissed, taking in the pale blue bow that was tied so prettily around the box. Trust Allen to take away her weapon and leave her with something girly!

She sat up, the scowl still on her face. She pulled over the box, might as well get the gift-giving over with. She was surprised when the box was heavy. Not uncomfortably heavy, but definitely heavier than she had expected. And the box was longer than she'd originally thought. She paused for a moment. He hadn't actually caved in to her request for a sword had he? She looked at the pale ribbon and floppy bow, debating whether it described the box's contents, or if it was just another example of Allen's ability to make anything look girly.

Finally curiosity won, and she undid the pale blue bow, letting it slip to the floor. She took a deep breathe and lifted the lid of the box. Her scowl faded in the sunlight, and her eyes shone. Nestled in the box was the most beautiful sword she'd ever seen, and the most deadly. She lifted the sword from its resting place, and noted the Schezar family crest on the hilt, she smiled as a small card fluttered onto her lap.

"Dearest Sister," Allen's elegant cursive flowed across the card. "Forgive me for taking so long to see the real you. Apparently my ideas and opinions of the world need to be updated; hopefully when you see me next I will be able to properly accept who you are, and who you will become. I seem to forget far too often that the blood that runs through your veins is the same as mine, and fate always has its funny ways. I suggest you talk to Lord Van, as his insight is what guided these actions of mine, and I believe he has an interesting proposal for you – one you may prefer to studying to become a lady of the court. I realize now how much you have always detested embroidery. With love, Allen."

Celena could feel the solitary silvery tear making its way down her cheek, but failed to notice its destination before it splashed onto the wide blade of the sword. Hastily she moved to wipe the moisture, only to notice the inscription that ran along the base of the blade. Her smile broadened, and she felt for the first time in her memory, truly like herself.

'Dilandau Dilandau Dilandau Dilandau.' Dilandau woke to a staccato rhythm in his head. 'Dilly? Dilly Dilly Dilly. Wake up Dilly-kins!' He growled, were the voice one coming from a physical being in the room, he'd have thrown something in its direction. As it was, it was rather difficult to maim a voice in one's head.

_What?! _He growled. _What the hell has got you so excited at this heinously early hour?_

He felt Celena's laughter in his head. 'First off, its almost noon. Secondly, I'm going to become a knight!'

Dilandau snorted. He'd missed that last line, from what he'd interpreted Celena was supposedly studying to become a knight.

'You don't believe me do you?' Celena's voice came softly. 'Allen gave me a sword. It's a beautiful thing. You'd love it, though it would be too light for you. And apparently here in Fanelia, they don't just let women learn to swordfight, they encourage it. And Van is allowing women to train to become knights…'

Dilandau froze. Any last remnants of sleep fell away as the implications of what Celena said hit him like a ton of bricks. _Wait. Just wait. You're becoming a knight of Fanelia? _Incredulity mixed with scorn, to put him in a worse mood than even the miserable awakening had. _You're going to dedicate your life… your LIFE... to protecting… VAN?_

'Well, I guess you could put it that way…' Celena trailed off. 'I never really thought of it that way, I mean just because I train to be a knight here doesn't really mean I have to become a knight of Fanelia. Though that would require that Asturia change about ten laws in the next few years…' she trailed off. 'Which won't be very likely to happen under Millerna's rule will it?'

Dilandau just growled. _So you would do it? You'd give your life to protect Van, and his pathetic little country?_

'I'm kind of thinking its more likely I'll be protecting Hitomi...' Celena suddenly found herself talking to nothing. There was a wall in her mind. A solid, very solid, wall, that froze like ice when she tried to push against it. 'Dilandau?' she murmured, realizing that he had shut her out more completely than ever before. She sighed, a little piece of her belonged to Dilandau, she couldn't deny that. But at the same time, she couldn't deny herself. She was sick of pretending. Sick of acting for other people's sake. There was no way she would change her mind just because Dilandau still carried his foolish grudge against Van. She sighed again, even if her connection to Dilandau completely faded, she knew now that she was strong person all on her own.

She smiled softly, even in a swordfight she could look after herself. Maybe, maybe in the long run it would be better that she do this on her own, without him. Otherwise she would never know what her own accomplishments would be. She took a deep breathe and set her jaw. Besides, one of them owed it to Van to protect the country they'd once destroyed. And she owed it to Van for setting Allen straight, and setting her free of the gilded cage Allen liked to keep her in. She smiled. All that aside, this was still something she wanted, something she wanted more than anything.

* * *

Dilandau sat alone in the apartment. It had been several days, and aside from his volunteering at the fire station, which was done next week, and the shifts he'd had at work, he'd had no other human contact. The internet helped. Television helped. But neither truly made him forget he was alone. He stubbornly refused to reopen his mind to Celena. The little traitor she was. Willing to give her life to protect his enemy! That meant she would stand in his way if he ever did go back for revenge. He ground his teeth. It would certainly not be pleasant to have to face Celena in battle. And to add insult to injury, she now had a sword when he didn't.

The silence intruded upon him further. He grabbed a piece of paper off the coffee table, crumpling it in his palm. He was tempted to throw something at the wall, just to break the silence. He continued crumpling the paper. He stared down at the white ball in his hand, noticing suddenly the numbers and words that peeped from around the crumpled ball. He spread the paper out. "Aiko – 576-8907"

There was a moment's hesitation. The silence pressed in harder. Dilandau picked up the telephone.

* * *

Hitomi entered the apartment holding her breathe. She let it out slowly, impressed. If anything the place looked cleaner than it had before she's left. She nodded appreciatively, it seemed Dilandau could be trusted after all. She smiled, happy to know this little tidbit of knowledge.

She placed her bag down near the door, and wandered into the kitchen, pleased to see Dilandau had managed to go grocery shopping while she was gone. She had to admit she'd felt a little guilty about leaving him with just a box of crackers and a jar of peanut butter. She shrugged, there'd been a jar of pickles in the fridge as well, so it wasn't totally cruel.

A smile flitted across her lips as she noticed the box on the table. "To Hitomi," Dilandau's surprisingly elegant script announced. She untied the ribbons that held the box closed and lifted the lid to reveal the cutest sweater she'd ever seen. She pulled it out of the box eagerly, surreptitiously checking the brand name on the tag. "Don't worry," a dry, amused voice came from the doorway, "It's from a nice boutique downtown. Not even from the mall."

Hitomi turned around with a wide smile on her face. She glided over to Dilandau and hugged him. "I love it! It's absolutely perfect Dilly!"

Dilandau stood shocked. Hitomi was hugging him. And she'd called him Dilly. He sighed, returning the hug, sometimes things just changed he guessed. Besides, if her fears and suspicions of him had really faded, it would just make his evil plan for revenge than much easier.

Hitomi pulled away, a smile still on her face. "I was so pleased to see the apartment so clean, and still standing." She smirked at him, "Cause it means I can give you your present too!"

Dilandau stood awkwardly. Truthfully he hadn't expected anything from Hitomi. Surely the fact that she let him stay there was enough? He stared for a long time at the strangely large, long box that Hitomi pulled from her bag, and held out to him. After a long moment he accepted the parcel placing it on the table and lifting the lid from the box.

A long sword lay in the box, the blade shining in the cheap artificial lights, the hilt a glistening black. He took a deep breathe, mesmerized. "Merry Christmas." Hitomi whispered. "It's not really a real sword, its sorta more decorative, but there was just something so wrong about _you_ not having a sword at all…" Hitomi found herself completely cut off as Dilandau turned around and hugged her. He didn't say a word the rest of evening, but the look in his eyes convinced Hitomi she'd made a good choice.

That night Dilandau lay on the couch, completely unable to sleep. He rose quietly, pulling the narrow box out from under the couch and lifting the lid. He still hadn't removed the weapon from the box. He couldn't understand why Hitomi had given him such a thing. She slept in the next room! How could she possibly feel safe? He stared at the sword, and after a long moment he touched the hilt of the sword. It felt like it leapt into his hand. He raised it slowly, taking it in. Truthfully it was more of a decorative piece than an actual weapon. The balance was slightly off, and it was far too light a weapon for his tastes, but the fact remained that it was a _sword_. With a blade that could cut, and injure, and ultimately kill if he so chose.

He shook his head and returned the weapon to the box. This was ridiculous. Was this some sort of test? Or did she really trust him so much? What on earth could Hitomi have meant by giving him a deadly weapon? He sighed miserably. Well, there was really only one thing he could do. Catlike he rose and slinked down the hallway, stopping outside Hitomi's door. He held his breathe for a moment and knocked softly. No reply. He knocked a little louder, and finally heard the shuffle of sleepy footsteps.

Hitomi opened her door and Dilandau was faced with a practically asleep girl. She stared at him dully, sleep still evident in her features. Her hair curled around her face, giving her an almost angelic appearance. Her nightgown only fell to her knees, and one strap had strayed its way off her shoulder. Dilandau bit his tongue, suddenly guilty of waking her up. But he had to know.

"Hitomi?" The sleepy girl nodded and yawned. "Why did you give me a sword?" Hitomi stared at him blearily for a long moment. Before she could answer Dilandau continued, pacing the hallway in agitation. "You said it's merely decorative, but it's still got a blade, and its sharp, its not even dulled. And even though it's off balance, I could still use it." He was rambling, but he didn't care. "I could injure someone with it. I could easily kill someone with it. Hell Hitomi, if I wanted to I could run you through one night!"

Hitomi stared at the agitated young man who stood before her and burst out laughing. Dilandau looked at her anxiously. "Dilly," she replied finally, gasping for breathe, "As flattered as I am by your concern for my wellbeing, you could have murdered me in my sleep any night." The young man stared at her, silent and uncomprehending.

Hitomi sighed and shook her head. "Dilandau. When you cook, what knife do you use to cut up the garlic and the onions?"

He looked at her strangely. "The big one."

Hitomi looked at him. He was smart, why was he not catching on? Had the thought really never crossed his mind? "Yes Dilandau, the big _sharp_ knife. In the kitchen. That you use frequently. That could easily cut and injure or kill a person."

Comprehension crossed his features. "So, you mean you trusted me enough to give me a sword because had I really meant to kill you I would have done it by now using a kitchen knife."

"Yes." Hitomi replied, suddenly aware of her current state of dress, and Dilandau's similar state. She really hadn't known he slept in just his boxers as he was always either up before her, or asleep when she left. "Can I go back to bed now?" she squeaked.

Dilandau stared past her, "Hmm? Yeah. Thanks." He wandered back down the hallway, one with the shadows. Hitomi stared after him, refusing to agree with Aiko's voice in her head telling her that Dilandau was, in fact, hot.

* * *

Comments? Please… anyone? Don't be shy…

Dilandau: Why on earth did Hitomi give me a sword? Is she possessed?

Authoress: No. She trusts you, get over it.

Dilandau: ….

Authoress: OK, fine. Like any good little fangirl she couldn't bear the thought of you not having a sword.

Dilandau: …

Authoress: OK, so I just need you to have a sword so you can wave it around later in the story looking all dangerous and sexy. Happy now?

Dilandau, smugly: Indeed.

Hopefully that clears that up for everyone…


	17. Chapter 17

_**What happens when it fades?**_

Disclaimer: Don't own Escaflowne… have you guessed I just copy and paste this everytime?

sUpErGaL – Please don't hunt me down… Parts of my story come off as H/D, but have faith in me. It's all part of my grand scheme.

* * *

**_Chapter 17: Not a Broken Heart, Just Broken Trust_**

Hitomi stood in the kitchen, searching for something to make for supper. She wasn't quite sure what she felt like eating. A knock on the door interrupted her train of thought. Opening the door she found herself face to face with Aiko. Hitomi was a little at loss, "Aiko! I wasn't expecting you…"

"No." Came Dilandau's voice from behind her. "I was." Hitomi spun on her heel to see Dilandau pulling on a jacket and brushing past her. "Ready to go?" he asked the redhead.

Aiko smiled in response, and was about to answer yes when Hitomi grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the apartment. "Can you give us a minute?" Hitomi asked Dilandau, slamming the door in his face, leaving him stranded in the hallway. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Hitomi hissed.

Aiko stared at Hitomi with amusement. "Well, you never answered my question so I assumed you would be alright with me dating Dilly." She said in a sticky sweet tone.

Hitomi stared at the girl in shock. "You're dating Dilandau? When the hell did this happen?"

Aiko shrugged. "I dropped by on the 18th to see if you wanted to come out for supper with me, but you'd already left. I found Dilly eating crackers and peanut butter for supper, so I asked if he wanted to go to supper with me. I gave him my number but I never actually expected him to call me back. But he did." She finished with a smile.

Hitomi frowned. "But I told you I was leaving in the morning of the 18th."

Aiko gave her a mischevious smile. "So maybe I was hoping you'd left him no food to eat." Her eyes sparkled. "He knows just about everything about computers you know."

Hitomi felt like hitting her head against the wall. Of course; Aiko was working on a computer science minor. She suddenly realized Aiko was staring at her, an amused look on her face.

"Should I not be dating Dilandau?" she asked softly, a smirk on her face. "Cause if I shouldn't, perhaps you need have a talk with your precious fiancé." Now Hitomi really felt like hitting her head against something. Here she was trying to protect her friend, and Aiko decided to interpret it as jealousy! Hitomi sighed. Maybe she was being unfair. After all, she trusted Dilandau enough to live with him. She'd even stopped locking the door to her bedroom several weeks ago. She processed these thoughts in her mind. It would be rather hypocritical for her to believe he had changed, but not enough to trust him with her friends.

She sighed again. "Just be careful, OK Aiko? Dilandau has a… rough history; I just don't want you to get hurt."

Aiko laughed. "Hitomi! I'm a big girl. I can look after myself. Besides, you've never been afraid, and you live with him! Anyway," she smiled wickedly, "He's the one you should probably be warning." Aiko opened the door and headed down the hallway with Dilandau. Hitomi stared after them, trying hard to understand the world.

Several hours later found Hitomi slouched on the couch, a bag of chips sitting on the coffee table, and the television on. She had chosen to ignore the fact that Dilandau used the couch as a bed. One of her favourite movies had been on TV and there was no way she was going to miss it. Now she took stock of herself. It was already past 1 am, and still no sign of Dilandau. She shook her head. "Why am I waiting up for him?" she muttered. "Here I was worried for Aiko's safety, and now I'm more worried about him?"

She shoved another potato chip into her mouth contemplatively. Maybe it was just the reputation Aiko had that was bugging her. She'd heard rumours that Aiko tended to move rather quickly in relationships, ruthlessly dumping guys after she got bored. Hitomi shook her head, "Why the hell am I worrying about Dilandau?"

After a while, her eyelids began to drift closed. Just a short nap, she thought to herself. I'll wake up before he gets back. She stifled a yawn, and sleep took her.

Hitomi stood in the front yard of her family's home. She was trying hard to see her little brother in the growing darkness. A snowball whipped out of nowhere and hit her in her back. She turned her head quickly and caught site of the bugger. She scooped up a pile of snow and whipped a snowball back at her brother. "Gotcha!" she yelled victoriously. Suddenly the sound of static filled the air.

Hitomi woke up to the television playing static. Obviously the channel was done its broadcast. She stretched and yawned, staring blearily at the time on the VCR. "Four in the morning?" she muttered. "He's _still_ not home?" She slumped back down onto the couch, into the warm nest her body had made in the blanket, contemplating her dream. She'd fallen asleep thinking about Dilandau, and wondering why she was worrying. And then she'd had a dream about her little brother. Hitomi laughed. Well that was obvious then wasn't it? Apparently living with someone day in day out made you start to think of them as a sibling. She smiled contentedly. After all the bickering between the two of them it made sense. Well, there was nothing wrong with worrying about Dilly if she thought of him as a brother, was there?

* * *

Dilandau stared out the window of the apartment. He'd thought that February had been his least favourite month, but it appeared March might not be much better. He shrugged, turning away from the window; perhaps making predictions about the month based on the first day of it was a bit silly. But he was so sick of the colour grey. He smiled, there was a bright side to things though. He was being promoted to assistant manager. And there was a very fascinating girl who called herself his girlfriend. He sighed, there were still things missing though. He felt in no way like Dilandau Albatou.

"You're moping again." Hitomi's voice rang across the room. He turned his head to look at her. Her head in a textbook, busy highlighting so-called "key terms," she certainly didn't look like she was paying any attention to him. She raised her head. "What? You are moping. You're sighing, and you look miserable." She put the hefty text down on the coffee table, "Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

Dilandau stared at her for a long moment, indecision on his features. Finally he shrugged and sat on the carpet on the other side of the coffee table. He looked up at Hitomi, sitting on the couch, analyzing him. He wasn't quite sure when they'd started to regard each other as friends, almost siblings really, but even he had to admit it was better than the thinly veiled suspicion they'd begun with.

"I don't feel like myself." He said finally. "Nothing that I'm doing now is at all, not even vaguely, like Dilandau Albatou." His voice sounded heavy.

Hitomi nodded. "I have to say I agree. You've completely changed, you know." Dilandau looked up at her, scowling. She sighed, "I know, I know, tell you something you don't know. But hear me out. Maybe you need to give up on Dilandau Albatou, Commander of the Dragon Slayers, and learn to let yourself be just Dilandau Albatou, a regular guy."

Dilandau growled. He didn't want to give up being a commander. He missed the power. He missed the taste of victory. He missed his life having something close to a purpose or meaning. He looked up darkly at Hitomi. It was easy for her, she was going to be a queen, what did he have to look forward to? Maybe being manager of some stupid store in a mall?

Hitomi looked at the silver-haired man who sat before her. She sighed. It was rather odd wasn't it, for him to go from being a warrior to a store clerk. She smiled, a plan forming in her head. "What if you aimed for the corporate side of things?" she asked him softly. "You miss having power, right?"

Dilandau's head snapped up and his red eyes bored into her own. It was like he was accusing her of reading his mind. If not for the fact that she'd seen him cooking an apple pie last week, she would almost have been scared. "Since you're assistant manager, you'll actually get a chance to speak with the regional manager and such, when they come to visit your store right? All you need to do is kiss up, and have a ten mile long list of suggestions and they'll be sure to promote you into the corporate office. Especially since they have a corporate branch here in Tokyo anyway."

Dilandau stared up at her. "But they don't visit until May." He said finally.

"Perfect." Hitomi replied. "That gives you time to come up with suggestions, and show off being the best assistant manager they've ever seen."

Dilandau was slightly awestruck. Hitomi's idea sounded workable. And if she was right, and there was more power to be had in the corporation… He thought carefully, a lot of corporations seemed to have more power and strength than most of the countries on this pathetic little planet. He smiled evilly. Perhaps the way to take control of Earth was through business. Perhaps… he found himself suddenly at loss. This was the first time in weeks he'd thought about his original intentions to seize control of this world. He smirked. For the first time in weeks feeling a little more like himself again.

* * *

The lights were dim in the restaurant. It was a romantic little place, not too expensive, and well known for the martinis. It had rapidly become Dilandau and Aiko's favourite place to go. Dilandau now sat across from the pretty redhead, telling her about his promotion to assistant manager and how he would use it as an opportunity to move to the corporate level. He spoke with more animation than his usual dry, sarcastic way, but not so much because he was excited about the plan, as he was trying to maintain the young woman's attention.

Finally he came to a pause. "Is there something wrong?" he asked the distracted beauty, intensity in his eyes.

"No… well, yes." Aiko fidgeted. "I don't really know how to say this Dilandau."

Dilandau tensed, Aiko never called him by his full name. It was always Dilly. Always. She had told him once that Dilandau was such a long, serious name, almost threatening. It was too scary for him, she'd said with a smile. He'd merely given her a dark smirk, she had no idea.

"I mean, its been so great. You've been just so wonderful to me. But, I just can't keep pretending." Her dark blue eyes gazed intently into his. He was struck by how pained her expression was, like the look of a caged animal, willing him to understand something he couldn't comprehend.

"Pretending?" he heard his voice echo across the table, lower and rougher than usual. Although his mind had yet to read the implications, some more basic part of him, in his gut, had already understood.

"Yes," said Aiko, sighing gently, sipping her martini, "pretending." Her voice held a melancholy air. "I wish it wasn't like this. But, can't you see it's over between us?" Her eyes looked liquid, "We had something wonderful, and passionate. It burned like a flame. It was beautiful. But like a flame, it could only last a little while."

Dilandau stared at her. There was no way these lines were real, they were rehearsed. They were spoken so unequivocally, so poised, so cold. He hated her for stealing fire, and bending it into a metaphor for her lie. In his head he was already hating her, and an icy barrier went up, and strove to shut her out. He was rather shocked when he spoke that it wasn't cruel harsh words that came out, but a small, pleading voice. "But you promised I wouldn't ever be alone."

Aiko's gaze hardened stubbornly. "People say all kinds of things when they're in love. They never really mean it. I've promised guys I would spend forever with them, that I would be theirs, and theirs alone, forever. I never meant it really." She took another carefully measured sip. "People just say things when they're caught up in the moment. Promises that can't be kept are just one of them."

She stared at the last lingering sip of her martini and set down the glass decisively. "Dilandau," she whispered, "Don't look so sad. You need someone who can give you moral support, someone who can really be everything for you. I can't be that person. I've never been good at the moral support thing." She leaned across the table and squeezed his hand, "I'm sorry if I've hurt you."

Dilandau stared dully into her liquid blue eyes. Her words were hollow, and truly meaningless. There was no sadness or regret in her eyes. He saw in them instead the dark, fathomless depths of a predator.

"Aiko!" A loud male voice echoed across the restaurant. A handsome young man with black hair strode purposely to their table. "Aiko babe! It's been ages since you've been out partying with us. C'mon, whatcha waiting for? You said you'd be out of here by nine, and its quarter after already!"

Aiko smiled charmingly at the young man, dropping Dilandau's hand like a dead fish. "Sorry, we were just finishing something." She said with a false hint of apology in her voice. "I'm ready to go now though."

"Awesome!" The young man cried. Dilandau resisted the urge to punch him. "Suki and Manda are waiting in the car. They're gonna love your dress! Let's get going already!"

Aiko smiled brightly, taking the young man's arm, "Don't worry Mako, the party queen is back!"

Dilandau stared dully at the retreating couple. A waiter passed by the table, and placed the bill gently onto the table. Dilandau gazed in shock at the thin slip of paper. "The bitch left me with the bill." He finally muttered.

The moon shone full and bright in the sky above, illuminating Dilandau's features as he wandered through the dark streets, lost in remembrance. In retrospect he should have known better than to trust Aiko. Had he really wanted to pay attention he would have noticed that she was playing the same games Celena did, only with higher stakes, and more lies. He sighed deeply and stared up at the pale moon.

The first few times he'd seen her, it had been perfect. They had talked about any number of things. He'd been thrilled to find that she knew almost as much about computer as he did, and it was nice to not be alone. She'd been a friend when he had truly felt like he'd had none. It hadn't turned into anything more until that night she'd arrived while Hitomi was home. The evening had gone just as usual, with supper, and a few drinks, and conversation. He'd walked her home, the same as all the previous nights. That night had been different though.

Something in the air had hung heavily upon the two young people, and Aiko's liquid eyes had bored into his own, and before he knew what he was doing, he had kissed her. He had to admit, that was all his own doing. Too many times had he been the unwilling witness to the female's end of a kiss, he wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone as a male. Not really such a strange desire was it?

What hadn't been his doing, was the hazy whirlwind afterwards that had ended up with Aiko sitting on his lap in her apartment. At that point he had pulled himself from whatever spell he was under and noticed that it was already 1 am. He had then attempted to extract himself from the girl on his lap, only to have her counter his every attempt. He'd been about to push her off his lap roughly when she had whispered a simple question in his ear.

"Why did you call me that night?" she asked, an innocent sincerity in her voice. "It was almost a week after we'd had dinner, I'd almost given up on you calling entirely. What made you call?"

He'd tensed for a moment. It was as if she was asking for a glimpse into his soul. Her fingers ran softly through his hair, and traced the side of his face gently. He relaxed a little unwillingly, and was surprised when he heard his voice, low and pained, admitting that he just hadn't wanted to be alone.

"But you'll never be alone baby. Not as long as I'm around." Aiko had looked him straight in the eye, "I promise you'll never be alone." Dilandau took no responsibility for what happened after that.

He'd finally stumbled in the front door of Hitomi's apartment at dawn. He had tried to be quiet, but hadn't counted on Hitomi being asleep on the couch in the living room. She'd raised her head from the couch and stretched uncomfortably. "So you're finally home." She'd said reprovingly.

He glared at her, an excuse or an insult already on his lips. "Don't bother." she said as she rose from the couch. "You think I don't know what a man looks like after a night of lovemaking?" she demanded, no hint of embarrassment or shame on her face. She'd walked up to him then, and had gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

Her emerald eyes gazed softly into his, "Just be careful OK? I started the night worried about Aiko, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I'm worried about you. Aiko has a bit of a reputation," Hitomi had bit her lip. "Just be careful OK?" She'd left him alone in the living room then, speechless. The emotions in her eyes had been familiar to him; it was the same protective gaze that had shone in Allen's eyes when he spoke to Celena.

Now, in the harsh reality of the winter moonlight, Hitomi's worry didn't seem so misplaced. Dilandau sighed into the frosty air, a faint cloud forming before his face. To Aiko, all the intimacy they'd shared had been as meaningless as the sweet kisses Celena bestowed on the men she played with. Soon he found himself at the front door of the apartment. Too soon in his opinion. He's slowly creaked open the door. Hitomi stared at him from the living room. "You're home early." She said cheekily. "Aiko have a headache?"

Dilandau said nothing, pulling his jacket off and leaving it discarded on the floor. He slumped onto the couch beside Hitomi, his eyes shaded by his silver hair. He could feel Hitomi's worried gaze on him, and tried to ignore it. Right now he just needed company, and no questions.

Hitomi looked at Dilandau with worry in her eyes. What on earth had happened? She reached out and gently touched his shoulder. "What happened?" she murmured softly.

"It's none of your business." Dilandau's voice came, sullen and dark.

Hitomi stared at him for a long moment. "Yes it is." She whispered. "I care about you. You can't just come home looking defeated and wrecked and not expect me to want to know what happened! So tell me! Why aren't you still with Aiko?"

"She's out partying with friends." The same sullen voice replied.

"Without you?" Hitomi pressed. "What'd she do? Just leave you at the restaurant?"

At that Dilandau exploded. He shoved Hitomi's hand off his shoulder and rose quickly from the couch. "Yes, she left me at the restaurant." A sneering voice replied. Dilandau stood with his back to Hitomi, his hands curled into fists, trembling slightly.

"What do mean left you?" Hitomi asked softly, stung by Dilandau's sudden actions.

"She. Left. Me. As in forever. As in she never actually cared. As in she lied. As in she's left me alone. As in I hate the fucking bitch." Dilandau's voice was getting louder, and more strained with every word. He stared straight ahead, at the pale beige painted wall, focusing all his hate, all his pain onto one little piece of the wall. "She fucking dumped me!" He cried, punching the wall. "Are you happy now, Hitomi?" he growled, now staring at his bleeding hand with disinterest.

Hitomi finally drew a shaky breath. She realized now that she'd been holding it from the beginning of Dilandau's rant. She gazed at the ragged hole in the wall, and the blood that now dripped down Dilandau's hand. Finally, his voice came, very small, "I'll pay for the hole. I'm sorry."

Hitomi rose slowly from the couch, pulling a blanket up with her. She walked quietly up behind Dilandau, and wrapped the blanket around his trembling shoulders. "I'm the one who's sorry, Dilandau," she whispered softly. She led him quietly over to the couch. It was strange, as if with all his fury gone, he was left a small child. She sat down and pulled him with her. She gently wrapped her arms around his shaking form. She held him tightly, as the tears began to fall from his blood red eyes.

"Did you love her?" She whispered finally, feeling more like a big sister than she had since her younger brother had been small and had fallen off his bike and skinned his knee.

"No." Dilandau finally replied, "I just trusted her too much."

* * *

Ahh…angsty! I feel bad for Dilandau now. I'm not sure I meant for this chapter to happen this way…

Umm yeah, so don't flame me to death for this. The next chapter is actually going to pick up right where this one leaves off, and hopefully that will fix the OOC-ness. I also apologize for being so mean to Dilly… but I've always found that its necessary to completely destroy everything before you can begin rebuilding, and that's exactly what Dilly has to do now. That and he needs to learn to get over his fear of being alone. So yes, I promise to fix the characters and make the next chapter more the usual, and minus the angst. I'll now proceed to hide myself under a rock until I get the next chapter out/ pass my cell biology final...

(PS feel free to hate Aiko… I promise one day she'll get her comeuppance.)


	18. Chapter 18

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: Escaflowne. Not mine.

* * *

**_Chapter 18: Pride…and a Decision_**

"Did you love her?" She whispered finally, feeling more like a big sister than she had since her younger brother had been small and had fallen off his bike and skinned his knee.

"No." Dilandau finally replied, "I just trusted her too much."

Hitomi sat slightly at loss, finally breaking the hug she still held Dilandau in. "We should get your hand cleaned up." She told him softly, and she went to the bathroom to grab rubbing alcohol and some gauze. She came back and sat cross legged on the couch facing him. Reluctantly he mirrored her position, wincing as she began rubbing the alcohol over his self-inflicted wound.

Silence prevailed over the two young people. Dilandau cleared his throat finally, "Thank you," he muttered softly.

"For what?" Hitomi asked distractedly, focused more on wrapping his damaged knuckles.

"For just… being here." Dilandau said lamely, kicking himself for saying anything at all.

Hitomi raised her head to look him in the eyes, one eyebrow cocked slightly. "But what about Celena? I thought you two talk about everything?"

Dilandau looked a bit sheepish. Tilting his head to inspect the fibers of a sofa cushion, he finally replied. "I sorta blocked her out…when I found out she was going to be a knight."

Hitomi pursed her lips. "You shouldn't be so sexist!" She exclaimed. "Even Allen got over the idea of Celena wielding a sword. I would expect more from you! I thought some of your Dragon Slayers were girls?"

Dilandau stared blankly at Hitomi's angry eyes. "I'm not sexist." He replied bluntly. "In fact I know very well women make better warriors."

"Then what's the problem?" Hitomi asked softly, placated.

"She's completely betrayed me!" Dilandau exclaimed. "She's going to be protecting Van! How can I be OK with that?"

Hitomi raised her eyebrow again. "And I'm getting married to Van. Yet you're still sitting here talking to me."

Dilandau paused suddenly. He had to admit to himself he'd never really considered the logic. "But… you were with Van before." He said lamely.

"Shouldn't that make it worse?" Hitomi asked, her eyes smiling. "It seems to me Dilandau, that you got yourself into this mess."

Dilandau stared at Hitomi. "What? Everything with Aiko too?"

Hitomi nodded and resumed bandaging his hand. "Based on what Van has been telling me, Celena decided to become a knight shortly after I left here for Christmas. That's when you started seeing Aiko. You kept seeing her cause you didn't want to be alone didn't you?" Hitomi neatly safety pinned the bandage together, and raised her eyes to coolly accuse the young man before her. "You never would have gone so far with her if you weren't so afraid of being alone. And I warned you to be careful with Aiko. Maybe it was too late by that point, but surely you weren't completely trusting of her yet. So really, you set yourself up for getting hurt by her."

Dilandau stared at Hitomi. She was doing that creepy reading his mind thing again. Or maybe he really was just that obvious?

"The fact is, its your stupid pride that won't let you just be happy for Celena, instead of taking it as a personal attack. Right?"

Dilandau sighed. "Pride isn't stupid."

"Now you're just being stubborn. It's not like I'm asking you to forgive Van and be friends with him." Dilandau glared at Hitomi for a moment, fire in his eyes. Hitomi continued, "I'm just saying you can forgive Celena for wanting to do something for her. Besides, I know for a fact Van wants her to be more or less my body guard when I get back there. She won't be protecting Van at all. She'll be protecting me." Hitomi's voice softened. "Would that really be so horrible?"

Dilandau sat silently. Too many thoughts were running through his head, and too many places where there was supposed to be hate were instead empty. He had no response for the green-eyed woman who sat before him. The woman he'd once hated and had tried to kill. An involuntary shudder ran through his body; that desire seemed a million miles away now.

Hitomi rose from the couch. "I'm going to head to bed now," she said softly, "Let me know if you need anything OK?" Dilandau watched her leave the room, hugging the blanket closer around himself.

Hitomi closed her bedroom door behind her slowly, glancing over at the clock. She smiled slightly, it was late, but not outrageously so, there was still time to talk to Van, as she did almost every night. She walked over to her window and stared out at the full moon that filled the sky. She shook her head sadly, even though the moonlight was able to make even the gray slush pretty, it couldn't rival the beauty of a Gaian night. She changed into her pyjamas and sat on her bed, summoning the image of Van's face to her mind.

She lovingly sketched out the contours of his face, the slight stubble on his chin, his eyes she could lose herself in. "Hello Love." She whispered into the darkness, as her mind touched his. As far as she was concerned, life was perfect so long as Van was in it. And soon school would be over and she'd be in his arms again.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Van's voice whispered into her mind.

"You." She said with a bright smile. "Always you."

Dilandau sat alone in the darkness. He could just make out Hitomi's voice through the wall as she spoke with Van. Numbly he avoided his thoughts, listening instead to the nonsensical syllables and pitches of Hitomi's voice that traveled muffled through the wall. Gradually silence won over even that small source of sound. Silence and darkness engulfed the pale man.

He sat alone for a long time. Finally he sighed, a long hollow sound that seemed to wake him from his numbed state. He let the blanket fall from his shoulders and pulled the slender box from beneath the couch, removing the sword Hitomi had given him slowly, with reverence. He winced slightly at the pain in his hand as he gripped the sword, but bit his lip, choosing to ignore it.

He stood slowly, slipping into the old familiar stances and movements of battle. The sword was poorly designed for actual use, but it felt so good to just hold one again. To search for a weakness in an imagined opponent, to feel the weight and the power of the blade. Even if the only opponent was air, and the blade only cut through the slight draft of wind that snuck in around the window frame, it felt so much more natural to him than anything else.

He brought the blade up to it was even with his face. His image reflected back to him, shimmering and dancing across the blade. He gazed upon himself and wondered if perhaps battle was all he was really meant for. Without it, he was nothing: just a weak, empty shell of a man. What purpose did his life have? Where was any of this leading him?

He let his forehead rest against the cool steel of the blade, as memories came swimming to the surface. The faces of his Dragon Slayers passed before his closed eyes, and a shiver ran up his spine. His eyes snapped open and peered into the darkness. Perhaps he had made a real mess of things, but he owed the Slayers to do something with his life. He'd watched them throw their lives down for him. He owed it to them to keep going. He owed it to them to be the Commander that they had died for. The expected him to be strong, and ruthless, and powerful. Not one of them would show him respect if they could see him now.

He'd become soft, and weak. He'd always been afraid of being alone, he could admit that now. But he'd been strong enough to hide it before, now what had he done? Humbled himself before some pathetic woman who hadn't truly been worth his time at all. He growled at himself. There had to be some point where he drew the line. There had to be some point at which he would change himself. He was supposed to be a warrior, a hunter; ruthless and bloodthirsty. He returned his gaze to his reflection in his sword blade. Red eyes darkened, and pale features hardened. It was time for a change. Dilandau Albatou needed to make a comeback.

* * *

Shorter chapter than usual, forgive me: I'm struggling through exams. I'm also aching for a chapter back with Celena, so tune in for that whenever I next get a chance to update. I also promise that will actually be happy, unlike this, which was more angst...but its all part of the plan... I think. Otherwise Dilandau is getting to me.

I love anyone who reviews! throws cookies


	19. Chapter 19

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: Escaflowne. Not mine.

w00t! Four exams down and one to go… chews fingernails…I just hope I did better on them than I think I did…

* * *

**_Chapter 19: Some Things Never Change_**

Hitomi stood in the living room of her apartment, wolfing down a piece of toast and trying to catch the weather report before she had to run to class. It was late March, but to her; it felt like school was taking forever to end. Her eyes strayed momentarily to a pad of paper that sat on the coffee table. Curious, she scooped it up.

Opening it, she flipped through briefly. Only the first page had writing on it oddly enough. Momentarily she hesitated: it wouldn't exactly be polite for her to read something Dilandau wrote really. On the other hand, he'd left it out here in the open. She shrugged and read the few lines…

_To Do_

_Get over issues about being alone._

_Get power._

_Forgive Celena… eventually._

_Get back at Van._

Hitomi smiled at the first line; apparently something of what she'd said had sunk in. Her smile turned into a smirk at the next two, observing that they too were her ideas. At the last line, Hitomi broke out into laughter. Gently she wiped a tear from her eye, some things never changed.

* * *

The two training swords clashed. Celena gritted her teeth. Her opponent was a burly man, towering over her by over a foot in height. But there was no way she was going to let that stop her from winning. She smirked as the man attempted a particularly flowery move, leaving his right side utterly undefended. "Gotcha." She smiled. "You're lucky we're using wooden swords, Rufus, or you'd be a goner."

The burly man looked at the young woman in shock. She tapped the edge of her wooden sword against his side impatiently. "See? I could have sliced through your kidneys, your liver, your hepatic portal vein…"

"That's enough Celena!" A deep, amused male voice called out to her. "I think Rufus gets the point without needing an anatomy lesson."

Celena sighed; Rorkin never let her have any fun. She shook her head stubbornly, "Just find me a more worthy opponent next then." She smiled at her ex-lover, turned mentor.

Sir Rorkin let out an exasperated sigh. "You've plowed through three of your colleagues already today!"

Celena growled back. "Yeah, the three biggest!" She was joking really. She knew that Rorkin purposely pitted her against bigger, stronger opponents because that's who she'd be facing in real life. And at the same time it was a lesson to the other knights-in-training: gender and size have no bearing on skill with a sword.

"And you beat them all within minutes!" countered Rorkin. He was pleasantly surprised with Celena, any fears he'd once had about someone taking advantage of her had disappeared in a cloud of smoke the first time he'd seen her with a sword. He tried to ignore any other feelings he had for her. It got too confusing.

"Perhaps she needs a tougher opponent." An amused voice added to the din from the doorway.

"Your highness!" Rorkin bowed slightly. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

Van smiled, "Well, I can't just ignore the fact that one of my best friends has put his little sister into my trust can I?" He smiled at Celena. She looked much happier in pants and tall leather boots than she ever had in frilly dresses. Her face had a rosy hue to it, and a few loose strands of her blonde hair had escaped her ponytail and now framed her face. He smiled, pleased that he'd been right in advising Allen.

"Well?" he looked expectantly at his knight.

Rorkin looked at his king in confusion. Rufus took the opportunity to escape the training room, this was the fourteenth time Celena had beaten him, and he was getting just a little scared of the girl. Van laughed as he watched the student escape from his confused teacher, turning his attention back to Rorkin, he sighed. He was a good man, but like most knights seemed a little slow at times.

"I'd be interested to see how Celena would fair against you." He finally said. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Celena blush softly.

Rorkin's eyes widened. "As you wish my Lord," he replied, removing his scabbard, and selecting a wooden training sword.

Van shook his head. "Why don't you both use real swords for this one?" He caught Celena's smile, as she scurried over to the other end of the room, retrieving the sword Allen had given her. It was her prize, never leaving her sight.

Celena smiled at the brown-haired man as they slipped into their fighting stances. "Now don't go easy on me, Sir Rorkin." She said laughingly, tossing her ponytail back leisurely.

Rorkin raised an eyebrow. "Have I ever?" he asked in a low voice that smoothly transmitted the double entendre to Celena. Within moments sparks were flying as the two swords clashed. Van observed the pair with interest. In just a few short weeks Celena had become amazing. If what he understood was correct, she'd spent the past few hours fighting, and still had the energy and skill to fight his best knight.

He watched Celena's movements carefully, while Rorkin was very skilled and had a certain grace; he couldn't hold a candle to Celena. With a sword in her hands she twirled and dodged and stuck at her opponent with more grace than even Allen was capable of. He nodded to himself. There was also the added advantage that she was already good friends with Hitomi.

Twenty minutes later the pair was still at it, though Celena's movements had slowed dramatically. Her exhaustion was rapidly catching up with her. After all, this was her fourth opponent today, and infinitely the most difficult. Rorkin hardly looked tired at all, she noticed in annoyance. On the other hand, he'd spent the day standing on the sidelines. She gritted her teeth and swung her sword in a swing that would certainly send Rorkin's weapon spinning out of his hand.

Instead she found her hand empty of its sword, her back to a wall, and Rorkin's sword at her throat. Her blue eyes met his and noted with satisfaction that he was in fact breathing heavily. She smiled, Rorkin was the best swordsman in Fanelia aside from Van himself, and she'd almost been able to hold her own against him.

Rorkin dropped his sword from Celena's throat and tried to ignore their close proximity. Her pink lips were teasingly familiar, but he forced himself to walk away from her. From the expression on her face he knew she'd been thinking only of the fight. He sighed, for now at least he was merely a teacher to her, despite whatever past history there had been. He looked at the girl who'd stolen his heart, her face was bright with exertion, but she held her head up high. Anyone would have thought she'd won that last fight. He smiled despite himself; it was almost as if she knew how close she'd been to beating him at the end there.

Van stood contemplatively in the doorway. "Sir Rorkin?" he asked questioningly.

"Yes Lord Van?" Rorkin replied, following his king out of the training room and walking by his side.

"She's good isn't she?"

Rorkin laughed. "She's more than good! She's amazing! I've never seen anyone take to a sword as quickly as she has. It's as if she was born to it."

Van nodded. Rorkin knew nothing about Celena's past as Dilandau, and it would bring nothing but trouble if he were to know.

"She almost beat me you know." Rorkin continued gravely. "If it weren't for the fact that she'd already faced three opponents in the few hours previous she probably would have."

Van nodded. "I figured that was the case." He paused outside the door to his study. "Rorkin, in your opinion, when will Celena be finished her training?"

"If it were only a matter of skill with the sword, I'd say tomorrow. But there are also her lessons in combat tactics and history and all the other stuff you recommended she be taught." Rorkin looked at Van for a long moment. "Most knights don't know half of that stuff you realize?"

Van turned to Rorkin and smiled. "Of course I know. But I don't intend for Celena to just be one of 'most knights'. I intend to create a new position for her specifically."

"Oh?" Rorkin looked questioningly.

"Something along the lines of Palace and Homeland Security." Van continued, pushing open the door before him.

Rorkin smiled smugly, "Rather an extravagant title for the queen's body guard isn't it?" He said following Van into the study.

Van settled himself into his chair, behind the desk with the piles of paperwork. "Well," Van said slowly. "Based on what I've seen today, I believe Celena is more than capable of defending the entire royal family and of issuing commands to other knights and military personnel when it comes to defending Fanelia."

Rorkin's jaw dropped slightly. "But that means her position would give her more power than I have."

Van looked slightly troubled. "Precisely why I am having this discussion with you now. I'm assuming that with all the extra lessons I've requested Celena take, that it will still be a year or two before she's ready to take on any position. I figured that much time should be enough for you to get used to the idea of having a woman giving you orders."

Rorkin sat slightly in shock. Not that he would ever deny Celena what Van was suggesting. If he had ever met someone capable of the position Van had invented, it would have to be Celena Schezar. He struggled within himself for a moment, accepting the fact that the girl he was training, the girl he had feelings for, would become essentially his boss once she finished her training. He smiled softly; somehow he could see it, even if something in his gut writhed in jealously.

"Just one thought," he finally said, "If you really plan to put her essentially second in command to you and Hitomi, shouldn't you really get to know her a bit?"

Van looked up from the latest trade agreement to hit his desk. "I hadn't really thought about that." He said suddenly. "But it would probably be a good idea wouldn't it?"

Rorkin just nodded.

* * *

Van wandered into the stables late in the afternoon. Hitomi was supposedly busy writing papers before her final exams came up in a few weeks. He sighed softly; annoyed at the lack of communication they'd had of late. He strolled over to a stall, petting a large black stallion on the nose. A small smile edged its way onto his face. At least he would be seeing her in a few weeks.

A sound coming from the direction of the door jerked him out his reverie. "I'm sorry," he heard a female voice say through the shadows of the stable. "Sir Rorkin finally gave us an afternoon off and I was hoping to go riding… but if you're busy I can go."

Van recognized Celena's voice, a little soft and hesitant. "No, please go ahead. I was actually considering going for a ride myself." He paused for a moment, remembering Rorkin's suggestion, "Would you like to accompany me, Celena?" He asked a little awkwardly.

Celena blinked for a moment, digesting the offer. She smiled and strolled over to a large white stallion. She gave the horse a critical look, and he flared his nostrils in response. "What's this one's name?" She said after a long moment.

Van snorted. "I believe the stable staff have nicknamed that one Hellfire."

Celena smiled. "I'll go if I can ride him."

Van stared at Celena's rapidly shrinking form. He had known Celena was an able horsewoman, but this was ridiculous. The nastiest horse in his stable was doing exactly what she wanted it to do, at speeds probably never before clocked in Fanelia. He shook his head, add this to what he had seen last week in the training rooms, he could only marvel at the changes in Celena. Just a year ago she'd been so demure; acting more like a little girl than the woman she was. Funny to think that she'd thought that she had to act that way to make people happy. Now he was just glad that if there was ever another conflict she'd be fighting on his side. It was truly amazing how much things could change as time and false ideas faded away.

Van threw himself across his bed numbly. He hadn't believed horseback riding could be tiring. He lay back against the red pillows, finding a comfortable position. He closed his eyes and imagined his beloved Hitomi: her honey-colored hair, her brilliant green eyes. He sighed happily. His love for her was probably stronger now than it ever had been. She was everything he could possibly hope for, and more. "How're you doing Hitomi?" he thought out across the distance between them.

"Tired." A whisper sounded in his mind. "But my essay is done." There was triumph in her voice, "And it only took," there was a long pause, "What day is it?"

He laughed then. "Hitomi, I love you."

Some things would never change.

* * *

Hope you all like! Sorry it took me so long to get this one out! I've been dodging evil exams and writer's block. But now I'm back on track. Next chapter: Hitomi's return to Gaea… again! … What on earth is Dilly going to do for several months alone in the apartment? 


	20. Chapter 20

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Disclaimer: My guess is that my story is roughly half done; this is the last time I'm bothering with the disclaimer. Obviously I don't own Escaflowne, and never will. At least not in this life. (So just remember that for future chapters. :P)

* * *

**_Chapter 20: For A Moment_**

Hitomi stood in the door of the apartment, her duffel bag in one hand, the other resting lightly on the door handle. Dilandau stood awkwardly in front of her, feeling all the world like a child being left for the first time without a babysitter.

"Remember, I'll be back the first of July for training, so don't do anything crazy cause I'll find you out. And remember that the oven is hotter than its supposed to be, so if you leave something in it could burn and catch fire and burn down the apartment, and there's no way you can afford to pay for it so don't. No burning anything, in fact. And there's food in the kitchen this time, so if any of my friends come by and invite you out for dinner, do yourself a favour and don't go. And if anyone calls for me, remember to tell them I'm on vacation and take a written message so I can call them back. And…"

"Chill 'Tomi." Dilandau said finally, slightly irritated. "I'm a big boy remember?" He dragged his foot against the floor. "Hey, could you do me a favour though?"

Hitomi looked at him. "Alright." She said finally, watching him pull a rather large package out of the closet. He held it out to her.

"Can you give this to Celena after you've been there for a week?" Hitomi looked at him in confusion. He shrugged. "It's her, or, I guess, our birthday. And she'll know what it means when she gets it."

Hitomi smiled. "Finally patching things up with her?"

"Something like that." Dilandau said idly. "Now get going. Loverboy is waiting, you know. Don't wait to keep your precious king waiting do you?"

Hitomi sighed, knowing that Dilandau would never really get over his hatred of Van. She shrugged, walking out the door, not that any of it really mattered. She now had two months all to herself and Van.

Dilandau closed the door slowly behind Hitomi. He stared around the empty apartment. Silence closed in on him. He shrugged and walked over to the television. He paused for a moment, a finger poised above the power button. He gulped softly and raised his hand away from the button. He stood and made his way to the window instead. His reflection stared back at him. "Alone again." He murmured into the empty air.

* * *

Hitomi stood so close to Van that he seemed to make up her whole world. Her bag had been dropped carelessly by her feet the moment her eyes had met his. Now, with his arms wrapped around her, she wondered why she wasn't here to stay. Her face was burrowed into the space between his chin and his shoulder, a perfect fit. His smell filled her senses – the familiar scent of a field. She moved her face so she could meet his eyes, and found her lips brushing against his. Bliss was being by his side.

* * *

Dilandau sat cross legged on the couch, humming contentedly to himself while reading the instruction manual for the pretty new laptop that sat on the table before him. He raised his eyes to look at the petite machine, with a devilish look in his eyes. He smiled and went back to reading the manual, occasionally smirking. It was amusing how little the writers of these manuals actually knew about the machines they wrote about.

A small sound outside the window made the pale young man jump to his feet. He stared in confusion at the pigeon that had decidedly landed on the window ledge. It now seemed to be peering in at him. For a moment he was reminded of the fact that he was alone. For a moment it disturbed him; sent him spiraling down the long list of people who had been stolen from him. For a moment. The moment passed, and the pale young man took a deep breathe. He returned to reading the manual, a true smile on his lips instead of the customary smirk. He was learning to control his demons.

* * *

"But I don't understand. How am I supposed to hit you, when my feet are supposed to stay in this position?"

Celena looked hopelessly at her green-eyed friend. "Hitomi! You don't even _want_ to learn how to do this do you?"

Hitomi held the wooden practice sword askew, letting it the point fall to the ground with a sigh. "No." She took a deep breathe, unwilling to listen to another one of Celena's passionate oratories on the art of sword fighting. "I don't understand why I need to learn when you are almost as good with a sword as Van is."

"Well," Celena paused. "Alright, what if Van is stuck in a meeting with his council, like he is now, I've been attacked by silent ninjas, and you've gone for a walk in the forest? What happens when the ninjas go after you and you can't fight them off?" She smirked triumphantly.

"That makes absolutely no sense." Hitomi protested. "Why would I be going for a walk alone when there are ninjas running around?"

Celena sighed and shook her head. "It was a joke! Lighten up 'Tomi. Seriously!"

Hitomi glared at her friend for moment before sighing and shifting her feet. "So… like this?"

Celena looked at Hitomi with a mournful expression. "You're making me want to cry." She whispered.

Hitomi shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Was it more like this?"

Celena looked at Hitomi with a pained expression. True, the girl could almost pull off the tall leather boots, but she looked better in skirts than riding pants by a long shot. And the way she held a sword; Celena gritted her teeth. It was like she thought she could play baseball with the thing. She shook her head hopelessly. "I give up for today. You might as well abandon me for your lover." She gave a tragic sigh. "I can tell you're counting down the seconds until you see Van again."

"Am not!" Hitomi bit her lip. "Just the minutes." She added softly.

* * *

Dilandau strode purposefully into the apartment, a smirk positively dancing on his lips. The meeting with the regional manager had been today, and it had gone well. No, he thought to himself, pouring a glass of red wine. It went perfectly. Totally and entirely according to plan. He raised the glass to his lips and smirked. So what if today he was merely an assistant manager at a crummy store? Tomorrow he had an interview with one of the executives from advertising.

His smile fell for a moment. It was just an interview though, there were no assurances. He stared at the wine glass in his hand for a long moment. Sure, this time around he had references and a high school diploma. He paused for a moment in his musings, making a mental note to tell Hitomi that the official story was that they'd graduated from the same class in high school. He grabbed the bottle of wine and was about to refill the glass, when he paused. A pained expression crossed his face as he recorked the bottle. "I have to be at my best tomorrow." He said sorrowfully. His frown contorted back into a smirk, and a familiar spark lit up his eyes. "But then this world will be mine."

He attempted an early night, a very rare and difficult thing to achieve in his world. Like every attempted early night by the time he was ready to sleep it was just a handful of hours before he had to get up again. Like every night before something stressful, his mind was buzzing with half-formed ideas. Tossing and turning on the narrow couch he flung the blanket far from him and reminded himself that this was why he would get ridiculously drunk in his past life as a commander.

He ground his teeth in annoyance and leapt from the couch, pacing the room in favour of contorting his body into any stranger positions on the couch. He glared at the overstuffed piece of furniture and growled. He was so fed up with the stupid thing he realized. Why on earth wasn't he entitled to a real bed? Longingly, he thought about the big comfy bed that he knew lay empty behind the next wall.

He paused in his pacing. Hitomi was gone for two months. There was the fact that she had told him a million times not to enter her room under any circumstances, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, right? And he could wash the sheets and change them so she'd never know he'd been using her bed. And even so, it didn't have to be weird did it? A bed was just another piece of furniture really. It wasn't really like he'd be sleeping _in Hitomi's bed._ It was more like he'd be sleeping in a bed that Hitomi had used previously. He looked back at the couch. Anything was better than going back to that.

He crept quietly down the hallway to the bedroom before remembering for the umpteenth time that he was alone and could do as he liked – a positive aspect to being alone that he hadn't considered before. He ceased creeping and gave the door a nudge. The bed looked warm and comfortable, pilled high with pillows. Sure the sheets were pale purple, but he could just pretend they were a darker, more masculine shade. He shook his head, he'd never been afraid of purple before he'd come to Earth. On the other hand, after three years trapped in a female's brain it was probably natural to try to re-establish the gender differences.

Like a guilty child he peered into the darkened shadows in the corners of the room from the door way. With a gleeful smile he ran into the room and threw himself onto the bed. It squished. He rolled himself in soft blankets and for a moment his mind compared the feeling of a mattress to the lumpiness of the couch. Then sleep swallowed him whole.

He held a glass of champagne. The sweet, bubbly substance cloaked his tongue for an instant as he took a sip. He strolled around the crowded room, a beautiful woman on his arm. Everyone looked at him with respect, and just a little fear. Perhaps not for their lives, but certainly for their livelihoods. Life was grand as the CEO of the world's largest company.

Certainly he had it all, wealth, fame, respect, a beautiful wife. He paused for a second. A wife? Dilandau Albatou married? He turned to look at the woman on his arm. Her honey-blonde hair swished delicately across her shoulder blades, brushing his arm delicately as she charmed whoever it was they were talking to. He stood and stared speechless at the lovely creature he would call his own. After a long moment she raised her flawless face and brought her emerald eyes to meet his, love sparkling in them. "Hi-Hitomi?" he stuttered.

Dilandau woke up clutching blankets in a deathgrip. "Hitomi?" he repeated, a hint of wonder and shock caught in his strangled voice.

* * *

_Eeep. Sorry it's been so long since my last update – I've been suffering from major writer's block. I know what I want to happen, but I'm having difficulty putting it into words – I blame my disastrous personal issues that are stressing me out. I mean sheesh! Exams are over and I feel __more stressed? Anyway, I'm sorry if it's a little shorter than usual… hope you still enjoyed!_


	21. Chapter 21

_**What happens when it fades?**_

So this chapter took a million years. I'm very sorry…I've been fighting immense writer's block, and working retail at Christmas/ Boxing Day is just intensely exhausting. :P Anyway, on to the story!

* * *

**_Chapter 21: Another Realization_**

Celena stared at the bulky package that sat on her lap. Hitomi had given it to her this morning, saying it was from Dilandau, and that he'd said that she'd know what it meant. "What it meant? What _does_ it mean?" she asked the silent room she now sat in. She'd brought it to her room after Hitomi gave it to her, having various lessons to go to, followed by an elegant supper she'd be shocked to learn was in her honour. She'd forgotten completely that it was her birthday. It had seemed very odd to celebrate it without Allen though…

Celena turned her attention back to the package. She sighed, reluctant to open it. Dilandau hadn't spoken to her in months. What was she was supposed to understand from a package? She set the package down beside her on the large bed she slept in, leaning back against the pillows to study it. It was a fairly large, rectangular shape. Heavy as anything, but solid; wrapped in plain brown paper, tied with a white string. After a long moment, she pulled the package toward her and untied the string, pulling the brown paper free.

She gasped softly as the brown paper fell away. Beneath it was shiny metallic blue paper, that broke the light into prisms, all tied in silver ribbon, a small card tucked in behind the bow. She pulled the card free. The front picture was of a horse that looked remarkably like her own, opening the card she found a few short sentences written in Dilandau's impossibly elegant script:

_Dear Celena,_

_Happy Birthday. I'm sorry I've been an idiot, but you probably shouldn't expect much better from me. I've tried to become a stronger person – that's why I needed to be alone and have kept you shut out for so long. This last week should have been a test for me, being absolutely alone. Hopefully you'll find I've become less of an idiot. But I don't promise anything._

_Dilandau_

With trembling fingers Celena pulled off the silver ribbons and carefully removed the blue paper. A large book was revealed: an encyclopedia of astronomy. Celena smiled with delight and choked softly, suddenly aware of the wet tears in her eyes. _Was it a good choice?_ A silky voice wound its way into her head. She laughed, choking back the tears that threatened to fall. Never had Dilandau's voice sounded so good in her head as it did now.

* * *

Allen tiptoed up the stairs to Celena's room. He felt more than a little guilty for missing her birthday, but he'd become rather tied up in a village squabble. He ran his hand across his face wearily. He needed sleep badly, but want to at least see his little sister after coming so far. He'd heard so many things about her. He had to admit he was ridiculously proud of her, but deep down he wanted to reassure himself this was still his Celena everyone was talking about.

He arrived at her door and paused for a moment. Only silence greeted his ears. He pushed the door open softly and smiled. There his sister lay sleeping, a peaceful smile across her features. Allen leaned against the doorframe and absorbed her peaceful happiness. He noted the paper strewn across the room and the protective way she was hugging a rather large book with curiosity. Finally he noted a small card that had obviously been placed on the nightstand with reverence. Carefully, he tiptoed over to the note and read it.

A look of curiosity crossed his face as his eyes leapt from the card to the papers to the book in Celena's arms to the look on his dear sister's face. He sighed softly, tenderly pushing her bangs from her face. "Celena," he whispered softly. "How can you love him?" Allen left the room quickly and quietly, a heavy look of sadness on his features, one he would patiently pack away. At least until Dilandau came back to Gaea.

Celena lay in the dark, still clutching the book. Her eyes were open wide now; her smile had faded to a look of shock. She had awoken to the sound of her door opening, but had drowsily decided to continue pretending to sleep. If it was an enemy she still had ages to react. When the intruder remained in the doorway for several long minutes she started to place the sound of his breathing, the manner in which he had opened the door and remained standing. After so many nights of living with Allen's paranoia, she had come to know well the feeling of him watching over her. She smiled. Her brother had come for her birthday after all. She could easily forgive him being a day late.

She had snuggled deeper into her blankets, intent on letting her body drift back to sleep when she had heard Allen's soft footsteps cross the floor, and pause at her bedside. She weighed the length of the pause, and guessed he was reading the note from Dilandau. Mentally she sighed, figuring he wouldn't make too much of it. It had shocked her to hear him sigh so audibly, and his gentle touch on her bangs surprised her slightly; it seemed so fatherly. But the words he had whispered into the dark, thought unheard, were what haunted her, wiping away her smile and all traces of sleep.

"Love him?" she asked the dark in a choked whisper. "How could I love Dilandau?" The night replied with silence, inviting deeper reflection. Dilandau had always been there really. A part of her; a voice in her head. He knew he better than anyone. He was her best friend, she couldn't deny that. "So I love him as a friend, a brother." She told the darkness. It sounded like a feeble excuse even to her own ears.

She bit her lip, remembering kisses she'd shared in the past. Thinking about all of the men she'd toyed with; all the men she'd shown interest in. 'Why did I do what I did?' she asked herself, chewing her lip. She stared thoughtfully into the dark, examining dark little places inside her heart. Could it be that the only man she'd ever really wanted to kiss was the one who she couldn't? Could it be that the kiss she'd been searching for, the man that her heart demanded her to find was, in fact, Dilandau?

"I love Dilandau." She weighed the words on her tongue, letting the feelings she'd felt mere hours ago at hearing his voice again flow through her. She gasped softly. "I really love him?" A pained look crossed her features, and her head fell. "I can't let him know." She whispered into the night, her voice echoed with the pain only love can cause.

* * *

Hitomi stretched luxuriously in the early morning sunlight. She turned to take in her lover's features in the pale sunlight. His raven hair fell messily across his forehead, begging for her touch. Slight stubble rasped across her hand as she lovingly ran her hand down the side of his face, to rest on his chest. His red-brown eyes opened slowly to gaze at her. "Goodmorning love." She whispered softly.

"Goodmorning, my beautiful love," he replied, his voice gruff with sleep. He took in Hitomi's slight blush with pleasure. She was the only woman he'd ever love, and he'd swear it to anyone. All he really wanted was to make her happy, and even though his second strongest desire was to keep her at his side always, he would let her go and do all the things she wanted to do – so long as she always came back, of course. He leaned up and sideways and caught Hitomi's lips in a gentle kiss, pulling her closer to himself.

* * *

Celena stared at the wall before her, mentally constructing mind blocks to shut out her true feelings from Dilandau. Now that she knew what those feelings meant, it would be terribly easy for him to read her. And if there was one thing she could not take from him, it would be rejection. While talking to him last night she'd felt his emotions, and somewhere, buried deep, was love for someone. She'd thought little of it at the time, as it had felt so vague and buried. She realized now, as she constructed her own barriers, the true reason those emotions had felt so vague and buried. He had guarded them as carefully as she was now guarding her own.

* * *

Dilandau woke up with a start. He felt like something in his head had been clipped. He felt for his connection with Celena, only to find it still there. He stared oddly into the morning sunlight, wondering why the connection felt slightly different from last night. As if it had become less emotional. He shrugged, perhaps last night had been just a little theatrical. Besides, she was training to be a knight, and a warrior. Keeping one's emotions carefully guarded was all just a part of that.

Suddenly, the phone rang, splintering any last hopes for sleep. Dilandau groaned, reaching for the phone, and dully saying hello.

"Dilandau Albatou?" a male voice asked questioningly.

"That's me." He replied in slight annoyance. Who ever this was, they'd interrupted his sleep. Well, something else had, but he couldn't find anyone to blame for that. "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry for calling so early, but we were hoping you'd be able to start today." The voice replied sarcastically. Dilandau raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Albatou, this is K & P Corporation, welcome to our advertising department."

Dilandau sat speechless. "Really?"

"Yes," the voice said with smothered amusement. "We expect you here at 1:00 this afternoon to sign all the papers. And since you come directly from our sales team, I want to just remind you that the dress code is slightly different for corporate work. We'll see you at one." The voice hung up crisply, leaving Dilandau staring at the phone in his hand in shock.

His gaze traveled over to the clock on the wall. It read 10:00 am. Dilandau swore softly under his breathe and leapt out of bed, sprinting to the bathroom at a speed Hitomi would have been proud of. If she wouldn't have been so angry about seeing Dilandau leaping out of her bed, that is.

* * *

_Sorry if it's a bit short. It's all I got for now, and I figured its better to get it out there than keep you all waiting longer until you've forgotten about my little story completely. :P_

_Thanks for reading! Review please!_


	22. Chapter 22

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_**Chapter 22: Operation Steal Hitomi**_

Dilandau sat in his cubicle, typing and clicking away on the computer before him. His gaze was intent upon the latest advertising campaign files, but his mind was focused on topics far away from what he was actually working on. He smiled devilishly, leave it to him to be able to think about two things at once.

He considered his situation for a moment. He was in love with Hitomi. Hitomi was hopelessly infatuated with Van. Van was hopelessly in love with Hitomi. He wanted revenge against Van in the worst possible way. His smirk widened, wouldn't the ultimate revenge be to steal away Van's fiancé? Van would forever have to deal with the heartbreak, the betrayal, and he, Dilandau, could walk away with the girl. On screen he clicked "Save". It was perfect really. Both the campaign and the situation he'd dreamt up. Now he just needed a plan of action.

"Albatou?" A gruff voice inquired from behind him. "Are you finished with those files?"

Dilandau spun around in his chair to face his boss. He wasn't exactly impressed with the man himself. The brown shaggy beard and soft grey eyes betrayed the man's soft personality. Dilandau no longer wondered why all the store's ad campaigns had struck him as lame and tame. He smirked. "You bet. I'll be forwarding them to you in just a few seconds." The campaigns would no longer be lame or tame under his "creative vision".

"Excellent, excellent." The older man bumbled, "Oh, and before I forget Mr. Albatou, here's your pay stub."

Dilandau accepted the envelope with an eyebrow raised. "Wouldn't it normally appear in my work email box?" He asked suspiciously.

"Of course," his boss replied. "But I always get HR to print out the first one so I can hand it to my new employees." He sighed. "It's not quite the same as handing you your first paycheque, but I like the effect."

Dilandau nodded slowly. "Of course sir, improves teamwork and communication right?" His boss was a sucker for those "workplace ideals".

"Indeed, my boy, indeed. I'll look forward to that campaign you whipped up." The director of advertising continued mumbling as he left Dilandau's cubicle and walked up to his office.

"Right…" Dilandau watched the man with disbelief. At least those files should spice up the company's image a bit, he smirked. He knew that even though his new boss wouldn't really approve of them, the moment the director's boss saw it (he'd cleverly blind carbon copied him in on the files), there would be no going back. He shrugged and ripped open the envelope. He stared at the net earnings line for a long time. His devilish smile returned. So he had the motives, and he had the means: commence Operation Steal Hitomi.

* * *

Hitomi lay languidly in the field behind the palace. Celena was practicing her sword just a few feet away, while she watched the clouds float overhead. "I can't believe I have to go back in a few days." She said softly.

"You could just stay, you know." Celena said, her concentration unbroken as she swiped at shadows in the air. "You've been whining about going back for the last two weeks."

Hitomi rolled onto her stomach to watch her friend. "I can't just disappear though. My family still doesn't know about Van or Gaea or anything. And I can't just do one year of university, I want to finish it." She pulled a blade of grass up by its root. "And there's my running…" she trailed off.

Celena landed with a huff beside the confused girl. "Follow your heart." Celena said softly. "And more importantly," she caught Hitomi's eyes, "follow your head."

* * *

Hitomi stared at her apartment door with a sense of despair. She couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she should have stayed with Van. She had such a desperate sense of somehow losing him. But her head had told her to come back here. She had so many things she needed to do in this life before she could give it all up for that one. Her hand shook a little as she fit the key into the lock. She swung the door open and her jaw hit the floor.

The apartment was empty. Not one piece of furniture remained. She gasped in confusion, checking the door number again. She shook her head silently and wandered through the empty rooms. She appeared back in the living room and collapsed on the floor, too shocked for tears. How could Dilandau do this to her? She'd trusted him!

Muted footsteps sounded on the carpet. "Damn it." She heard a male voice utterly softly. There was a pause. "Are you okay Hitomi?" asked the voice, sounding confident, but concerned. Hitomi raised her bleary eyes from their focus on the worn carpet fuzz. Her breathe caught in her throat. Before her stood a man with silver hair, gelled just enough to give the illusion of spikes, without going overboard. His face was a mask of concern, but she could tell its features had assumed a relaxed confidence since she'd last seen them.

The most eye-catching thing however was the young man's clothing. He wore business casual black dress pants, and a white pin strip dress shirt, the top few buttons loosened. Hitomi stared for a long moment. This strange apparition was causing her even more shock than the emptiness of the apartment. "Dilandau?" she asked weakly, not quite believing her eyes.

The concern melted from Dilandau's face, to be replaced with a roguish smirk. "I got the job in advertising." He explained, noting her shocked expression with satisfaction. "I meant to get here earlier, but work held me up a bit." He looked at her intently, drinking up her messy honey hair, and just how good she looked in that short black skirt and emerald green top, even collapsed to her knees.

In fact, whispered an evil voice in his mind, she looks _very_ good on her knees. He immediately shut off the evil voice. He wanted Hitomi to be his equal, not his servant. He wanted her to choose him, not be forced to be with him. He was turning over a new leaf. If he was to get anywhere, he had to control his evil side and use it as a tool.

He strolled over to her and held out his hand. "About done saying goodbye to this old place?" He inquired carelessly.

Hitomi looked up at him questioningly. He smiled down at her wide eyes. "Ready to go see the new one?"

* * *

Hitomi stood in shock as Dilandau pushed open the door to the building. The lobby was all glass and security cameras. She could tell just by looking around the place that the rent for an apartment here was far too much for her. He led her through the lobby to the elevators – nice elevators which played elevator music, and were lined with a plush red carpet on the floor.

Down the hallway Dilandau sauntered, Hitomi moving slower with each step. There was no way she could afford this. None at all. Maybe Dilandau hasn't finished giving up the old place yet. Maybe she still had time to back out of this gracefully. These thoughts racing through her head she stepped into the apartment. She wanted to cry.

The hardwood floor gleamed back up at her, the nicer pieces of her furniture present, the older ones replaced by even nicer pieces. She gazed at the stainless steel sink and refrigerator in the kitchen, taking in the clean wooden cupboards and shining new tile. The living room featured a balcony that looked over the university grounds. "I figured you might like to be able to spy on your teammates." Dilandau gestured towards the window, revealing a clear view of the track.

Hitomi continued wandering through the apartment, pausing in what she supposed would be her bedroom. Dilandau leaned against the doorframe beside her. "I touched none of it, as promised." He gave her a sloppy salute with his left hand. "I called your mom and she packed it. We figured you would like to unpack and position everything where you would like it."

Hitomi spun on her heel, "You called who?" Just then the phone rang.

Hitomi grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Hitomi! You're home! I'm so glad! Dilly told me you should be just about done touring the new apartment now. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Mom." Hitomi coughed. Her mom called Dilandau, 'Dilly'? She suddenly wondered if perhaps she hadn't arrived in an alternate universe.

"I think its just so lovely. I can't believe you never told us about Dilandau though!"

"Uh, what did he tell you?" Hitomi asked, turning her back to the person in question, and hunching over the phone.

"Everything!" Her mother cried happily. Hitomi's heart sank. "All about how you two graduated from the same class in high school, though you never really knew each other well, and how he was having such a hard time finding work for a while… absolutely no money to go to school. Poor thing, and he's so intelligent too." Hitomi listened to her mother sigh. "Anyway, he told us about how you bumped into him one day and offered a place on your couch to him until his luck improved. And sure enough, he's a got a job your father could be jealous of."

Hitomi blinked. Of course Dilandau would be a good liar. Of course. "You'll have to come home for supper." Her mother continued. "And you had better bring that polite young man with you. You know I have no qualms feeding handsome young men."

Hitomi hung up the phone slowly, returning to her state of shock. She turned to face Dilandau. "How can I even begin to afford this?" She asked him softly.

He shrugged. "Your half of the rent is exactly the same as before."

Hitomi shook her head. "There's no way that would be half."

Dilandau walked up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and leaned close to her. "But it would be _your_ half." He pulled away, releasing Hitomi and walking past her. "Besides, I was getting sick of sleeping on a couch in a living room with no privacy or space to swing a sword."

Hitomi gazed hopelessly at Dilandau's back. "Why does my mother think you're a polite young man?"

Dilandau sat calmly in a chair, picking up a newspaper. "Because I am." He smirked.

Hitomi just shook her head speechless. Could someone really change so much in two months? Or had she actually been dumped into an alternate dimension? She opened her mouth to argue over the rent again.

"Stop arguing." Dilandau said softly, not raising his eyes from the paper. "Consider it my gift to you for giving me a chance at a real life." And step number one in my plan to steal your heart, he finished in his head.

* * *

_Hope you all like it! I know it's a little twisty since I've been advocating H/V and C/D. But have faith in me, as much as I like my plot twists, I'll come back to all that later. _

_I also beg forgiveness for twisting Dilandau so much. I try to justify it by telling myself he's just acting, and manipulating people, but I'm starting to feel I've completely lost touch with his character. I think I'm at the point I should just keep moving forward and forgive myself for it. I have some plans for a new story in which Dilly really will be evil, and will stay evil. I just don't know if I'll ever have time to write it._

_Review please!_


	23. Chapter 23

**_What happens when it fades?_**

Normally I have no problem with people leaving anonymous reviews – in fact, I often enjoy them – but for whoever it was that thought signing with "blah" was amusing, and then decided they knew what pairings were going to happen in my story – shame I say! I would never put Van with Celena – besides Celena's in love with Dilly remember? I have yet to decide Hitomi's fate. For kicks I could always just put all four of them into one room and make them work it out on their own in some x-rated manner.

But really, people. Give me a little credit.

* * *

**_Chapter 23: Her Laughter_**

Celena sat cross-legged in the training room. She was concentrating hard on the maneuvers she'd learned the day before; visualizing them, imagining the feel of her sword in her hand, the slice of it through air before crashing against her opponent's weapon. She sensed a presence in the back of her mind, a vague form watching her visualizations with interest. 'Who're you in love with?' She asked the form, the visualizations still playing in her mind.

_What are you talking about? I'm not in love with anyone._ His voice echoed back, tinged with annoyance. Celena felt his reaction rather than heard it, his fear that perhaps he really was that easy to read.

'You're losing your guard in your head. I can read you like a book.' She replied calmly, refusing to betray any emotion in her thoughts. He might be slipping, but she sure as hell wouldn't.

_Can not. _He growled. _You wouldn't need to ask if you could read me so easily._

'How do you know I don't already know, and I just want to hear you admit it?' She replied with amusement, letting the visualizations fade from her mind's eye. She smiled at his uncertain pause.

_You're bluffing._

'Do you really think I don't know you?' She said with a smirk. She could feel his sigh.

_I'm not sure if you'd laugh, or if you'd kill me if I told you. _She felt his uncertain reply. Kill you, she thought to herself. Because I know whoever it is isn't me, and that you're never going to return to Gaea anyway. She guarded her thoughts closely, refusing to let them leak from the iron grip she now held her mind in. She wasn't sure if she felt more like ice, or the sharp steel of her sword.

'I'd be nice.' She said nonchalantly.

_Uh huh. I believe you. _Dilandau replied sarcastically.

'I would.' She thought back softly. 'I couldn't kill you anyway. You're in a different world.'

_I wonder. _She heard Dilandau whisper. _Do you think, if we thought it hard enough, we could sword fight? I'm horribly out of practice. I only managed to get a real sword a few weeks ago. _

'Hitomi lets you have a real sword?' Celena asked curiously. 'I know she let you have the show one, but a real one?'

_She doesn't know about this one. _

Celena laughed. 'Do you really think we could?' she asked him. 'I mean, no one here is really up to my skill level except Van, and he's too busy signing trade agreements and arguing with his council to train with me. Best challenge I have is Rorkin.'

She could hear Dilandau's snort of contempt. _We could do it. You're visualizations are pretty powerful. Besides, obviously you need someone better to fight with than Rorkin. _Celena had to stifle a laugh. Only Dilandau could say Rorkin's name with such contempt and thinly veiled criticism.

'We'll have to try at some point then.' She replied with a smile. 'But not now, I have to go meet one of Allen's friends. Some guy who held out against a three month siege.'

_Why?_

'I haven't told you yet have I?' Celena said with some amusement. 'When I finish my knight's training, Van is putting me charge of homeland security in case there's ever another homicidal pyromaniac on the loose with a grudge against Fanelia. So apparently I need to know all this junk.' She smirked at the stunned silence Dilandau sent back.

_So… I scared him that much? _She heard him reply with a dangerous smirk. There was no stifling Celena's laughter after that one.

Dilandau lounged in the living room, a content smile on his face. For some reason he'd always liked the sound of Celena's laugh. Even if it wounded his pride a little. He smirked, best of all, he'd gotten out of answering her little question.

* * *

Allen sat in a chair by the window in the library, as Celena chatted lightly with Sir Garis. He watched the elderly knight sketch out battle plans and tactical schemes across paper with a stubby pencil, his enthusiasm nearly excessive for someone his age. Allen shook his head, what was it about Celena that made even old knights, firmly stuck in their ways, want to talk to her: a female? The feminine invader of their masculine ranks. After all the bad mouthing he'd taken for allowing his sister to undergo knight training, once people met her, they pretend they'd never said a bad word against her.

He watched his younger sister energetically grab a piece of paper and a pencil stub of her own. He watched the lines and arrows criss-cross the paper, and observed the look of shock on the older man's face as he leaned over Celena's work. "I've… I've never seen an attack like that." Sir Garis stuttered. "Never in all my years."

Celena beamed at him. "But would it work?" She asked cautiously, her features falling into a more reserved look.

The older man gazed thoughtfully at the plan, muttering quietly under his breathe. "Well," he said after a long moment. "It's certainly unorthodox." Allen watched Celena hold her breathe, chewing her lip nervously. "But, it would certainly work."

Celena smiled brightly. The older man looked her in the eye with a heavy sigh. "If I'd had one good knight as bright as you, my dear, I doubt we would have ever been besieged in the first place." Celena's laughter filled the room.

Allen smiled. For some reason it always warmed his heart to hear Celena's laughter. It made him certain he was doing the right thing in letting her pursue her own path. He sighed, his gaze searching out over the horizon. Sometimes the only thing you can do for the people you love is let them go.

* * *

Celena sat astride her horse, gazing softly at the setting sun. Absentmindedly she ran her fingers through her horse's mane, as the wind ran its fingers through her tangled hair. "What do you think?" She asked aloud. "Can I do this really? Is this all what I want?" Her pale blue eyes skimmed the horizon, taking in the deep, lush forests of Fanelia that surrounded her. She closed her eyes and pictured the city, with its cobbled streets, and simple, yet elegant palace. In her mind's eye she saw the beast people intermingling with humans of many races, bartering in the marketplace, and working together for a common goal: peace and happiness.

She turned her thoughts to her memories of Tokyo: the buildings so tall they nearly blotted out the sky, the lights so bright they outshone the stars, the noise, the stink of gasoline and what Hitomi had called "air pollutants". The faceless crowds of people, lost in their own minds, walls around their hearts. She opened her eyes at the sound of a hawk's wild cry. She lifted her hand to her face, and wiped away the single tear that threatened to fall. There was no way she would let any country on Gaea become so lost, to go so astray as those of Earth. She looked up at the rising moons, and wondered if Hitomi would agree with her.

"Well?" A male voice asked gruffly from behind her. Celena pulled her horse's reins, and the horse turned full circle so Celena could face the familiar voice.

"I'm interested to know what you believe, and what you want. After all, its one thing for me to ask you to protect my kingdom, but its up to you whether you want to really." Van said simply. His dark eyes upon Celena's pale features.

Celena smiled softly. "Have you ever been to the Mystic Moon?" She asked softly. She knew she was momentarily avoiding the question, something one should not do around their king, but it all led to the answer.

Van looked at Celena for a long moment. "No," he replied softly, his horse stamping its hooves restlessly, "though Hitomi has told me a great deal about it."

Celena nodded. "I don't think you would like it." She said softly. "I didn't." She turned her gaze to look upon the blue-green orb hanging in the sky. "It's dirty, and noisy. There aren't very many trees, no forests that I could see. There were millions upon millions of people, but every one of them seemed so faceless to me. They had lost any sense of unity or peace in their hearts."

Her gaze fell. "I was thinking about how I hope nowhere on Gaea ever becomes like that. That I would do anything to protect the people, and the peace, of this world."

Van nodded softly, his gaze on the moon his love called home. "Hitomi said something similar to me once. That she hoped Fanelia would never become like Tokyo." He turned his gaze to look at Celena. The moonlight set her pale hair aglow, shining off the hilt of her sword. Van paused for moment, she looked to him like some mystic protector, the sort that would appear in the stories his mother had told him when he was a child. He smiled at her still bowed head.

"I know you will do everything you can to protect Fanelia, and Gaea." He said softly.

Celena raised her head and looked her king in the eye. "I promise I will." She said softly. The words carried through the darkened forest, carrying more weight than any formal oath or pledge. Celena, though her training had a long way to go, already had the heart of a true knight: a protector of the people.

* * *

Dilandau stood by the window of the apartment, swirling the last sip of his drink in the bottom of the glass, watching the ice cubes melt, and the dark forms that ran late into the night upon the university track. From this distance he couldn't truly make out which one was Hitomi, but he knew in his heart, that it was the one ahead of all the others in every race. He drained his glass, his eyes focusing on his own reflection that seemed to float above the cityscape.

His eyes were dark. He was lonely tonight, though he'd never admit it to anyone now. It was nights like tonight that the faces of his Slayers would pass through his mind. That the faces of those he'd killed would conjure themselves up in the dark recesses of his weak conscience. He'd taught himself to control these things, to survive being alone in the darkness. But it still put him in such a dark, sober mood, one no amount of alcohol could drown.

He sighed softly, deciding against a second drink, knowing it wouldn't help anything. Instead he headed to his room for a moment, bringing a long sword, sheathed in black with him. He quietly buckled the sword belt around him, readjusting to the weight he was no longer used to carrying. He drew the sword. Perfectly balanced, the steel blade gleamed in the moonlight as he flowed through the moves he once knew so well. He had fallen rather out of practice, and even though he now practiced most nights, he could remember vividly being far better than this.

'Still up for that fight?' A haunting female voice flowed into his mind. He smiled, they came and went through each other's minds, the divides and barriers constructed between the two of them obvious, but easy enough to ignore.

_I believe the real question is if you are?_ He replied smoothly. In his mind he could hear the scrape of steel being pulled gracefully from its sheath. He closed his eyes, imagining a space distant from all others.

Celena stood poised for attack, pale hair and skin bathed in moonlight, set against a black background. A small smirk danced on her face, her hair shining slightly gold to contrast the silver of his own. Dilandau allowed himself a genuine smile, stepping into his favourite attack position the way a panther sets itself to pounce.

With a clash of steel, the fight began. Sparks flew, catching the blood red of Dilandau's eyes. The two fought as if it were a dance, flowing around each other, matching strike for strike. It was as if in this in-between place there was only them, and they knew each other as well as they knew themselves.

* * *

Hitomi dragged herself down the hallway, weary and worn out from the practice she'd come from. Practice had gone several hours late, the coach unimpressed by anything it seemed to her. That or he really wanted to test their limits to the utmost. Hitomi sighed, fumbling with the keys. She was ready to fall into her bed, be swallowed up by pillows, and never wake up. The slightest thing more would probably shock her system into never moving again.

She pushed the door open, and dropped her duffle bag beside the door. She wandered into the kitchen, figuring that since it was so quiet, Dilandau was probably already asleep. She pulled a cup out of the cupboard; her hand momentarily resting on a glass before she thought better of it, reaching behind it for a plastic one. She poured herself some water and wandered back into the hallway, momentarily pausing to look into the living room. There was something about the way the moonlight filled that room that could send shivers up her spine.

She froze, the cup falling from her hand, causing her brain to momentarily cry thanks she'd chosen the plastic cup. The moonlight poured into the living room indeed, but Hitomi's weary mind didn't hesitate to tell her it was the way it seemed to illuminate the man's silver hair, and flow around the sculpted muscles of the pale man's chest that was sending the shivers up her spine. Dilandau looked as if he was engaged in the sword fight of his life, the features of his face locked in intense concentration, his eyes sealed shut. He moved like a wildcat, or perhaps a demon.

Hitomi gasped softly, her tired mind insisting she'd never seen such a gorgeous sight. She shook her head slightly, forcing thoughts of Van into her mind. The way the sunlight poured across his face in the morning, the tangles of his raven hair. She closed her eyes to the vision of moonlight and silver and wandered down the hallway to her room.

"I do not find Dilandau attractive." She whispered softly into the darkness of her room after closing her door behind her. "Not at all. It was the moonlight. Moonlight always does weird things to me. That's all it is."

* * *

Dilandau bit his lip. "Surrender." Celena commanded. He had to admit, it looked bad. He was on his back on what passed for a floor in this place, Celena standing over him, the point of her sword against a particularly tender part of his throat, her foot, clad in a tight black leather boot pinning his sword arm down. But he still held his sword in his hand. His mind worked quickly, and he tossed his sword from his pinned right hand to his left, causing Celena to inadvertently step backwards, giving him enough space to lean upwards, bringing the point of his sword against a particularly tender part of _her_ throat.

"Never tell a man to surrender while he still holds his sword." He instructed her softly. Though Celena had once again brought the point of her sword to his throat, even she knew they were trapped in a deadlock. She lowered her sword, panting. Dilandau slowly lowered his, and let himself fall backwards against the cool floor, breathing heavily.

"You're out of practice." Celena said amusedly, sitting down beside him. "I know there was a time you could have beaten me easily even at this skill level."

Dilandau turned his head to look at her. He shook his head. "Even then I think you would have posed a better challenge than Van ever did."

Celena laughed. Dilandau smiled. For some reason he'd always liked the sound of Celena's laugh. Even if it wounded his pride a little.

* * *

_Wow…OK, so I rapidly went from having not enough to post, to having one of my longer chapters ever. I hope you all liked this one. I think there was enough of every pairing in this story to keep everyone happy for a little while… except maybe V/H…but that's so overdone anyway. :P_

_Let me know what you think. And thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far – you are all inspiring me to keep this story going._


	24. Chapter 24

**_What happens when it fades?_**

**_Chapter 24: Movie Night With Dilly_**

Hitomi flopped onto the couch beside Dilandau. "I need the television." She said pointedly, reaching for the remote.

Dilandau just stared at her for a long moment. "But Law and Order is on… you can't really expect me to stop watching Law and Order."

Hitomi shook her head. "You're an ex-insane pyromaniac general, and your favourite show is Law and Order. Isn't that a little weird?" She stared at her silver-haired roommate. "I mean, you play with swords at night!"

"What's that got to do with anything?" Dilandau said, turning his gaze to Hitomi and smirking. Unfortunately Hitomi missed the smirk, her attention caught instead by the commercial that currently played. "Earth to 'Tomi.' Anyone home?" Dilandau waved a hand in front of her eyes.

"Are those twelve year olds playing in snow in _minskirts_?" Hitomi said with disbelief, staring at the flickering screen.

Dilandau turned his head, just in time to catch the last few seconds of the first commercial for the ingenious ad campaign he'd invented. "Yup, looks that way." He replied, turning his head back to Hitomi's face. "Pretty smart really. Everyone always stops buying cute little skirts in the fall just because winter is coming up and no one wants to get cold. And everyone knows the cute little skirts are one of the summer's top sellers."

Hitomi shook her head in disgust. "Maybe people don't buy them because it really is _too cold _for miniskirts. And if they put kids that young on screen, eight year olds are going to want miniskirts. And then it's bad enough that the twelve year olds dress like little mini-sluts, now the eight year olds will want to. Society is going down the drain I tell you, and these big corporations aren't helping."

Dilandau stared at Hitomi in surprise. OK, so cross telling Hitomi that it had been his brilliant idea off the list. "Well, but… they need to make money so they can pay people's salaries." He said lamely.

"So? Can't they do it in an ethical way that doesn't suppress women and their rights?" Hitomi said indignantly. "Girls have low enough self esteem as it is, they don't need some company telling them how to dress!" Dilandau continued staring blankly at Hitomi. "Guaranteed," she continued, "guaranteed that commercial was devised by some stupid, chauvinistic male, who probably couldn't survive an hour in a miniskirt, in any weather, let alone the winter." She leaned back on the couch, her arms crossed across her chest, staring triumphantly at Dilandau. "Now give me the remote already!"

Dilandau sighed, "Fine. Here." He tossed the remote at her. He stared at the ceiling for a long moment. He'd been proud of that campaign. He'd worked his ass off on it. It was devilish, and it would work. And he was Dilandau Albatou! Why was he letting Hitomi lecture him on ethics? As if he'd ever be ethical! He sighed again, when he noticed Hitomi staring at him.

"It's your company that ran that commercial isn't it?" She asked perceptively.

Dilandau rolled his head to the side so he was looking at her sideways. "What do you need the television for anyway, now that you've ruined my evening viewing?"

"I have to watch a movie for my film studies class." Hitomi replied, walking over to the television and bending to place the dvd into the dvd player.

Dilandau attempted to distract himself from watching Hitomi. "You're taking a film studies class?" he said confused, "How's that prepare you for being queen of a backwater country?"

Hitomi threw the dvd case at Dilandau's head. "Fanelia isn't backwater."

"Is too." Dilandau said grinning, as he caught the case in the air, long before it hit him.

"But I like it that way." Hitomi replied, sticking her tongue out at the annoying creature who currently hogged most of the couch. "I'm taking it because I know I won't likely get to see many movies on Gaea, so I'm stocking up now. That and I have a fascination with stories."

"Uh huh." Dilandau replied. "So you needed a slack course."

"Something like that," Hitomi mumbled, as she took a seat on the couch.

"So what movie is this?" Dilandau asked, turning his gaze back to the screen.

"The Shining. The one with Jack Nicholson." Hitomi replied. "I'm supposed to do an analysis on how an atmosphere of fear and horror is produced."

"Sounds good." Dilandau said slowly. "I'm game."

"Who said I'd let you watch?"

"Let's see. I bought the couch, and the television, and the dvd player. Who said you could?" Dilandau smirked.

"Point taken." Hitomi said softly. She spent the next few hours laughing, as Dilandau reacted in disbelief to the movie.

"How is this supposed to be scary? Why don't they just kill him?" Dilandau stared wide-eyed at the screen. "This is pathetic!"

Hitomi shook her head. "This is a classic! It doesn't get creepier than this!"

Dilandau shook his head. "Obviously you've never walked down the hallways of the Vione at night and bumped into Folken in a dark mood."

As the credits rolled down the screen Hitomi stared blankly at her notebook, despite her best attempts, Dilandau had rendered it nearly impossible for her to feel scared during the movie. "How am I supposed to write about the atmosphere of fear and horror now?" She demanded.

Dilandau yawned and stretched lazily. "So when's the next one?"

"Next week," Hitomi replied guardedly.

"Let me know when you start it; that was amusing."

"Don't you have something better to do on a Friday night?" Hitomi asked mournfully, already visualizing the poor marks.

"Nope." Dilandau replied with a smirk, visibly brightening at the dismay in her eyes.

So, a week later found the two unlikely friends resuming their positions before the television, waiting for the trailers to play through. "So what's the movie this week?" Dilandau inquired.

"The Wizard of Oz. I'm supposed to analyze the effectiveness of the transition from black and white to colour." Hitomi stared straight ahead at the screen. "Now don't distract me so much this time!"

"It's a musical!" Dilandau cried, as the opening chords of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' played. "How could you inflict this upon me?!"

"You don't have to watch." Hitomi replied, hiding a smile.

Half an hour later Hitomi watched Dilandau's expression with amusement. "There's… little people."

"Munchkins?" Hitomi supplied.

"Was the director on drugs?" Dilandau asked, in all seriousness.

"No," Hitomi said, "But I think the author was."

"You mean this was a _book_?" Dilandau stared at her, incredulous.

* * *

Another week passed, and Friday night approached slowly. Hitomi squirmed in her seat in the large lecture hall. She hated to admit it, but she was really starting to enjoy these movie nights with Dilandau. If only the class associated with the movies wasn't so boring. She suppressed a yawn.

As she meandered her way out of the lecture room, she noticed someone trying to catch her attention. "Aiko?" she asked softly. "What do you want?"

The red head fidgeted softly, "I'm having a party tonight and was wondering if you wanted to come? I know we haven't talked much lately, so…"

Hitomi glared at the girl. "You hurt Dilandau. How can you expect us to go back to being friends?"

Aiko shrugged. "Well, he's just your roommate. And relationships do end you know. It would have been worse if I'd let it drag out."

Hitomi's gaze grew progressively colder. "He's not _just_ my roommate. He's my friend. And you walked out of the restaurant with another guy, and left the bill for him. How is that in any way thoughtful or kind?" She watched the red-head lower her gaze to stare at the tiled floor. "So no, I won't be coming to your party. I have better things to do with my Friday nights. And better friends to spend them with." Hitomi spun on her heel and stalked out of the room, triumphant. Someone needed to teach that girl to feel shame.

* * *

She flopped on the couch, waiting for Dilandau to bring out the popcorn from the kitchen before starting the movie. She stared at the ceiling, laying back against the pillows, and stretching across the couch. She had to admit Dilly had good taste in couches. This one was extremely comfortable. She smiled to herself, when had she started calling him Dilly in her head?

The man in question walked into the living room, staring in mild amusement at the couch. "And I sit where?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

"The floor." Hitomi replied, waving her hand in the direction of the hardwood. "I'm a soon-to-be-queen remember? You're expected to bend to my whims."

Dilandau snorted, and set the bowl of popcorn on the table. He then proceeded to sit on her feet and lower legs. Hitomi glared at him. "You're squishing me."

"Then you should have moved over."

Hitomi rolled her eyes at him and wrenched her feet out from under him. He smirked at her. Hitomi paused for a moment and then let her feet drop across his lap. "Ha." She said, a smirk on her own lips. Dilandau shrugged, leaning over her legs to grab a handful of popcorn.

Hitomi grabbed a handful of her own, bringing a piece of popcorn to her lips. She paused. "I saw Aiko today." She murmured softly. She could feel Dilandau stiffen under her shins. "She asked me to go to a party she's having tonight."

Dilandau stared straight ahead, he seemed to be chewing his lip. Hitomi smiled softly, she wondered if he realized he'd picked up that habit from her. "You know what I told her?" She asked, watching Dilandau twitch slightly. "I told her I had better things to do, and better friends to spend my Friday nights with."

She watched the corners of his mouth turn up into a genuine smile. He didn't turn his head to look at her, instead asking what movie was up for tonight. Hitomi smiled, deciding that the comfortable feeling she felt with him; the fact that she rather liked making him smile, not just smirk, but really truly smile, came down the fact that he'd become her best friend. She snuggled into the pillows that surrounded her, angling herself to watch the movie.

Dilandau turned his head slightly, now that he was sure her attention was on the television. He took in her profile. The way her honey-coloured hair fell across her face. The green of her eyes, the long black eyelashes that gently fell across the tanned skin of her face when she blinked. He dropped his gaze to look at her feet that stretched across his lap. He smiled. For now he could settle for this comfortable friendship. He smiled softly. He had plenty of time to make her fall in love with him. For now he'd be patient and settle for her trust, and her friendship.

* * *

_Don't worry, there's more action coming up in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed! I apologize if the plot feels a little slow – I want to build on the relationships between the characters a bit. :) _


	25. Chapter 25

**_What happens when it fades?_**

**_Chapter 25: Halloween Party_**

Once again Hitomi sat fidgeting in her film studies class, waiting for the lecture to end. On the upside the movie assigned for this weekend was Dracula. Any version was alright with the professor – their assignment this week was to analyze the way the director portrayed Dracula. He'd said something about the more versions they watched, the less repetitive the marking would be for him, or rather, for his markers. She shrugged, she was just curious to see what Dilandau's reaction would be to the whole concept of vampires. She checked the clock, thirty more seconds of this class. She willed the hands to move faster, slamming her notebook closed even before the professor was done talking.

"Hey Hitomi!" One of her friends called out as the class ended. "Here!" The brunette passed Hitomi a piece of paper, loudly exclaiming that she was holding a Halloween party that night. "You should come out." The girl said softly. "You never have any fun."

"O, but… I sort of have plans." Hitomi replied slowly, pulling her backpack up onto her shoulder.

"Really?" The brunette said with a knowing smile. "Finally going on a date?"

"No!" Hitomi exclaimed. "Not at all. It's just watching a movie with my roommate."

"Aren't you the one with the gorgeous roommate?" The brunette asked with a smile, tilting her head to the side. "You should bring him along too." She gave Hitomi a wink, and left the lecture hall. Hitomi let out a long sigh. What fun would a party be without Van?

Hitomi played with the remote, waiting for Dilandau to finish making popcorn. He'd been adamant that if this was to be a regular thing, they needed popcorn. She rolled her eyes. "Hurry up or I'll start the movie without you." She called in the direction of the kitchen.

"You never told me there was a party!" She heard him exclaim.

"Damnit." She muttered under her breathe, her head sinking down onto a cushion she held on her lap. "I'm not going." She called out, her voice muffled by the cushion.

"But you should get out more!" Dilandau said brightly, wandering into the living room, holding the dreaded party flyer. He pulled her up off the couch. "And this is perfect! I'll even take you there."

Hitomi sighed, "Don't bother. You're invited too. It seems everyone I know has heard about my so-called gorgeous roommate."

Dilandau smirked. "Of course they have."

* * *

Hitomi stared at her reflection in the mirror. She tugged at the hem of her skirt. Dilandau had dragged her into her room, and rifled through her closet, occasionally tossing things at her. He'd left with a smirk on his face. She sighed. There was no denying the fact that she looked good. But she hadn't worn this skirt in years, and while it had always been short, now it was ridiculously so. And the top was off the shoulder, revealing more skin than she would have liked. And she'd completely forgotten about these boots. 

She looked down her reflection to take in the knee-high black faux-leather boots with their stiletto heels. She seemed to remember buying them on a dare from Yukari back in grade 12. She'd never worn them, especially not after her younger brother caught sight of them and ran around the house declaring to her parents she'd bought "hooker boots".

"Dilandau!" she hollered. "I look like a whore!"

Dilandau appeared silently in her doorway. Mentally, he suppressed a whistle, and drooling, and various other outward signs of how good she looked. Skanky, yes. But it was Halloween. And even nice girls are allowed to dress skanky on Halloween. He shook his head. Several months catering to the whims of twelve year olds had done nothing for his vocabulary.

"You look good." He said smoothly, grabbing her arm. "And don't forget its Halloween. You'll get to this party and feel overdressed."

Hitomi sighed. "At least let me grab a coat."

They caught a bus heading in the direction of the party. Hitomi gazed sideways at Dilandau. She couldn't help but notice how good he looked. Sure he looked good in business shirts and dress pants, but there was something about him in tight black t-shirts and black leather pants. Perhaps it was just the fact that he was the only person she'd ever known who could actually pull it off. She smirked, pulling her coat closer around herself. She attempted to ignore the looks of the punk teenagers at the back of the bus who were gazing hungrily at her legs in her tight black boots.

Dilandau gazed around the bus disinterestedly. It was ridiculous how used to public transportation he'd become: every day to and from the office. He shook his head, who would ever have seen him with enough patience to handle being packed like a sardine into buses and trains?

He noticed a group of teenagers staring wolfishly at Hitomi. He smirked, they'd attempted to dress in black and leather, and such. He shook his head, they looked rather trashy, especially when set beside himself. He stood up slowly, seating himself beside Hitomi, between her and the wolfish punks. He made sure to give them a disinterested glare. One that told them he could snap their necks in a second without a second thought. He smiled, they rather avoided looking in Hitomi's direction after that.

"What was that for?" Hitomi hissed at him as they stepped off the bus.

"What was what?" He asked, a smirk on his lips.

"I don't need protecting you know." She sulked. "I'm fully capable of looking after myself."

"Really?" Dilandau said, raising an eyebrow teasingly. "You mean they didn't intimidate you in the least?"

Hitomi glared at him. "Well," she said sweetly, "_You_ don't intimidate me in the least, so why should they?" They entered the house the party was being held at and Hitomi stalked off in the opposite direction from him. Dilandau sighed. There was no winning with that girl.

Hitomi wandered over to the punchbowl, saying hi to people as she passed them. She recognized them from class, and a few from track, but she was rather sorry to admit she didn't actually know the names of most of them. She'd rather avoided going out up until now. After all, what was the point when Van was far away? She'd rather be with him than anyone else, right? And she had a few good friends, and she wasn't really much of a partier, so what was the point really?

She sighed, pouring herself a cup of punch. She had to admit though, it made situations like this more than a little uncomfortable. She scrunched up her face momentarily at the strong taste of alcohol in the punch. She shook her head, people her age always went so overboard with alcohol, she couldn't understand why in the least.

Dilandau wandered around the party, attempting to not look like he was looking for Hitomi, even though he was. It was ego-boosting to have half a dozen girls flirting with him, but when all he could think about was Hitomi, it didn't really mean much. Even when trapt in a conversation, it only took a few moments for his imagination to replace the girl he was talking with with Hitomi. Black and brown hair became her honey brown. Blue and brown eyes transformed to green in the back of his mind, and he wished, wished so badly, that it could be her flirting with him.

He shook his head, first off, Hitomi wasn't the type to flirt. Secondly, she was so much less shallow than all these people. All they were seeing was his spiked silver hair, and the leather pants. They didn't want to know him as a person, and Hitomi could never be like that.

The music got louder, and he finally spotted her, standing a little lonely by the punch bowl, sipping a cup of something. He walked over to her. "Having fun?" he asked her softly.

Hitomi rolled her eyes, "Tons. Time of my life." She downed the rest of the cup and poured herself another.

Dilandau watched her suspiciously. "You realize that the punch is spiked right?"

"Good." She replied curtly, downing this cup without any pretext of sipping, just to piss him off.

"How much have you had?" He asked her, getting a little worried for her.

"None of your business." She said, brushing past him to melt into the crowds. "I told you I don't need you to look after me."

Dilandau sighed. What was she so pissed off about? Maybe he should have just let her stay home. Sitting on the couch arguing about how ridiculous a movie was, was far more enjoyable than this any day. He couldn't even remember the last time she'd been angry at him, and now he couldn't even figure out why she was so upset.

He wandered outside. He was sick of the loud noise and annoying girls throwing themselves at him. He only wanted one girl, the one who didn't want him. The one who was engaged to his worst enemy. He sighed, leaning his forehead against the wall of the house, letting the cool brick of the house suck the warmth away from him.

'She won't love you.' He heard Celena's voice trickle into his brain.

_Who won't love me?_ He said calmly, praying to himself that he hadn't let the walls in his head crumble. Begging the stars that Celena didn't know…

'Hitomi. She's getting married to Van, dumbass.' Dilandau winced at the harshness in Celena's voice. It was almost as if she was hurt by this revelation.

_It's…I'm not… _Dilandau stammered. He didn't know what to say, He wasn't ready for anyone to know how he felt about Hitomi. Some days he still couldn't figure out what it was he felt exactly.

He felt Celena sigh. Of course she's hurt, he realized. She works for Van. She's best friends with Hitomi. Her world only makes sense with Hitomi going back there to be queen.

Celena let his thoughts wash over her, sifting through them for his reactions. She shook her head. He was clueless. Which was good, she supposed. She didn't want him knowing that the real reason this bugged her so much was that she loved him herself. It was just that Hitomi got everyone. She still had Allen wrapped around her little finger if she could only figure it out, she was engaged to Van, and now she'd stolen Dilandau. Someone who for three years had been Celena's alone. She sighed. How could one girl be so lucky?

She wanted to ask what it was Hitomi had that she didn't. That no girl did. What made the green-eyed girl so special? What made her so perfect, that she belonged on some pedestal of worship. But she bite her lip, feeling instead ashamed that she should feel so jealous of her friend, her future queen.

_I gotta go._ Dilandau's voice echoed suddenly in her head.

'Why?' She asked softly, her voice seeming so much harsher than she'd intended.

_I think something's wrong with Hitomi._ Dilandau sounded rather nervous at the moment. Celena started to say something only to realize he wasn't there in her head anymore. She growled deep in her throat.

Dilandau stared through the glass doors leading into the living room of the house. He pulled the door open, moving like a cat into the house, surprised by the sudden heat generated by so many bodies moving to the music. His eyes never moved from the strange sight before him however. He tapped a young man on the shoulder, distracting him from the girl he was passionately making out with. The young man started to protest Dilandau's actions, but Dilandau was focused only on the girl.

Hitomi stood in shock. What had she just done? Her mind was rather blurry, but she could see Dilandau staring at her in shock. "I think we'd better go home now." She heard him say softly, extending his hand towards her. Numbly, she nodded, allowing him to lead her out of the party, to the bus stop.

She said nothing on the bus, instead trying to focus. Trying to make sense of what her mind was telling her in screaming tones. What had happened exactly? She remembered stalking away from Dilly at the punch bowl. She remembered him asking her how many cups of punch she'd had, and how she'd gotten angry, not at him, but at herself because it was then that she'd realized that she had lost count.

The room had become a bit swirly then she thought softly. And then there was just the lonely feeling she had. She'd looked around the room and seen couples kissing and dancing everywhere, and she'd missed Van. And then someone had asked her to dance. And it had felt so right to sink into a man's arms. She couldn't remember who had initiated the kiss.

She hung her head and held it in her hands. She didn't feel good. But she wasn't sure if it was her body or her head, that was screaming louder at her stupidity. She wanted to cry. She felt Dilandau rubbing her back absentmindedly. She felt him lead her off the bus, and into the apartment building. That was when the tears started to fall.

She choked softly as Dilandau sat her down on the couch in their apartment. She turned onto her side and curled into a fetal position. The tears continued falling, her sobs came out choked.

She felt Dilandau shift awkwardly beside her on the couch. "Do you want some water or something?" She heard him ask distantly.

She turned to him and tried to force her breathing back to normal. "I… I…" She choked and started sobbing again, folding herself into Dilandau startled arms. "I cheated on Van!"

Dilandau sat there frozen, holding a sobbing Hitomi in his arms. "Maybe we should've just watched Dracula." He murmured softly into her hair, chewing softly on his lip, unsure of what to do now.

* * *

_Sorry for the cliffy – but if I keep writing this chapter will be twice as long as previous ones. _

_:) YAY!!! I've officially gotten over 100 reviews – you guys are all awesome! I love reading them. Oh, and some quick replies to a few:_

_Kitsune6 – I just love playing with Hitomi's subconscious. I've always been of the opinion that since she's somewhat psychic, her subconscious may be at times stronger than her conscious mind. :P_

_Litschi – I promise. Keep a look out for chapter 28 or 29. ;)_

_Everyone else – I'm just so happy you like it. I'll try to keep updating as fast as I can get time to write.  
_


	26. Chapter 26

**_What happens when it fades?_**

**_Chapter 26: Idiot_**

She turned to him and tried to force her breathing back to normal. "I… I…" She choked and started sobbing again, folding herself into Dilandau startled arms. "I cheated on Van!"

Dilandau sat there frozen, holding a sobbing Hitomi in his arms. "Maybe we should've just watched Dracula." He murmured softly into her hair, chewing softly on his lip, unsure of what to do now.

"I cheated on him. I kissed that guy. I don't even know his name!" she wailed. She sobbed softly. "I cheated on him." She whispered.

"Yes," murmured Dilandau. And it wasn't even with me, he thought to himself. He absently stroked Hitomi's hair, shaking his head. This evening was turning out completely wrong. He looked down at Hitomi, noting how perfectly she fit in his arms. He shifted slightly. On second thought, maybe it wasn't _completely_ wrong.

"I don't feel very good." Hitomi murmured into Dilandau's shoulder.

"I should get you that water." He said gently, not really wanting to let her go. She chose that moment to cling to him even tighter, making his decision easy. He felt her lift her head, so that her damp forehead rested against his shoulder. He felt her sigh.

"It's just… you don't know what its like to be so far away from the one you love. You can't touch them, or hug them, or kiss them. Sometimes you wonder if they are even real, or just a dream you had one night." He felt his shirt growing damp under the gentle rain of her tears. "It's like one moment I have him, and then I have a million moments I don't."

Dilandau sighed then, perhaps he didn't know what it was like to be in a different world from the one he loved; but he knew what it was like to be unable to kiss them, what it was like to be unable to have them as his own.

Hitomi muffled a whimper in his shoulder and he sighed. "He'll forgive you, Hitomi." He said quietly. "You were drunk, and you weren't thinking straight. It's not like you meant it, or did it on purpose."

Hitomi raised her face to look him in the eye. "You really think he will?" She whispered hoarsely, a tear running its way down her pale cheek, tracing the gentle slope of her face.

Dilandau wasn't sure if he felt more like kissing her, or hitting someone because he knew he couldn't. Not yet, not now. She looked beautiful. Her mascara had run from all her tears, leaving black smudges under her eyes, and sooty tear tracks down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and watery, as if she could burst back into tears any moment. Her nose was a little red, and overall she looked a wreck. Dilandau stared hopelessly at her. He felt like falling, or screaming, or ignoring all the intelligent thoughts in his head and kissing this lovely, sad creature until she smiled again.

He felt like an idiot.

"Do you really think he'd forgive me?" She whispered softly. Her soft lips torturing him.

"He'd be an idiot not to." He said suddenly. Just as suddenly, he regretted it. He was saved from his embarrassment, however, as Hitomi chose that moment to whimper again, this time clutching her stomach.

"I don't feel good." She said softly, a horrified look on her face. She attempted to stand, but wobbled as she got to her feet. Dilandau stood and wrapped an arm around her waist, helping her to the washroom. "I'm okay, really." She murmured softly. "You don't have to stay."

Dilandau nodded softly, wandering down the hallway. Hitomi waited until he was out of the doorway before sinking to her knees before the toilet bowl, wishing dimly that she'd kept better track of how many drinks she'd had.

Dilandau stood in the bathroom doorway, watching Hitomi rest her forehead on the cool porcelain. "I brought you something to drink." He said softly. "You need water, otherwise you'll feel _really_ awful in the morning." He smirked softly, but it faded quickly as Hitomi turned her head to look at him with pleading eyes.

"I told you not to watch." She said softly. "I'm a wreck. You shouldn't see me like this."

Dilandau shook his head, sitting firmly on the floor. "I'm not leaving you alone in this state."

"Why?" Hitomi asked, secretly glad to not be alone in this hell she'd put herself into.

Dilandau turned his gaze to stare at the white walls of the bathroom. "Because friends don't leave each other alone." He said softly, and because I love you, he thought. Those treacherous words echoing painfully in his head, wanting to be said, but at the same time, terrified of being released into the world.

He was a little shocked when Hitomi lay down across the floor, her head in his lap. He was never quite sure what the last thing Hitomi had said was before she passed out.

* * *

Hitomi woke up with a pounding headache. She felt like a train was running through her head. Or perhaps that a hippopotamus was tap dancing on her skull. She sighed, stretching slowly. Her whole body felt stiff and painful. What on earth had happened last night?

She pulled her pillow over her head as the memories floated in: Van randomly contacting her as she was getting ready for the party, him asking her not to go when she told him about it. Him telling her not to drink, since she couldn't hold her alcohol. That had just put her in a peachy mood. When Dilandau had started to act all protective she'd lost it. Who were these boys to tell her how to live her life? She could look out for herself thanks. And then the fact that she obviously couldn't. Resulting in her kissing the guy she'd been dancing with. She groaned and turned over, burrowing herself deeper into her blankets.

How could she have done something so stupid? At least if it had been the guy who'd started it, it wouldn't be so bad. She sighed, the smell of food was seeping into her room. She pushed herself up. She wasn't sure if the smell was making her feel more nauseous, or hungry.

She stood silently in the doorway to the kitchen, watching Dilandau making pancakes. She'd realized halfway down the hallway that minus the boots, she was still wearing last night's clothes. Which meant she must have passed out on Dilandau at some point. She leaned against the doorframe, unsure of what to say. She could remember crying on his shoulder, and him sitting in the bathroom with her. She could remember asking herself why she always felt so safe with him. There was nothing after that. Well, passing out on the bathroom floor would explain the stiffness of her body.

"Good morning." Dilandau said, without turning around. She watched him pour two glasses of orange juice, and cross the floor to hand her one. "I told you to drink some water last night or you'd feel worse. Do yourself a favour and drink this, then have a shower. You'll feel better."

Hitomi nodded dumbly. Maybe letting Dilly take care of her a little wasn't that horrible. That and her skull was hurting so badly she wasn't entirely sure she could think for herself.

She sipped the orange juice, and watched Dilandau get various things ready for breakfast. He turned to her suddenly, a smile on his face. "I can hold breakfast, but not forever 'Tomi."

Hitomi smiled weakly, and headed for the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like a zombie: black smudges under her eyes from her melted makeup, red eyes, pale face. She shook her head, how could Dilly possible smile at her when she looked like this? She could just imagine Van staring at her in horror and demanding some explanation for this.

She stepped into the shower, letting the hot water burn its way across her skin. It was rather funny really, the way Dilly had taken care of her last night. The way he stuck by her side, the way he had held her as she cried. She paused softly, remembering how nice it had felt to have someone's arms wrapped around her. How safe she'd felt. How he hadn't judged her actions. She smiled, perhaps he'd just been drunk so many times himself he knew how little control one had over reality.

She paused, her hands in her hair, rinsing out the shampoo. But there was the way he looked at her all last night. She must have looked like a wreck, but he looked like he was drowning in her eyes. The smile he'd greeted her with this morning. It was the same look Van gave her wasn't it?

Hitomi shook her head. No, there was absolutely no way Dilandau was _in love_ with her. That would be ridiculous. This was whatever alcohol was left in her system talking, and her head just hurt too much to shut it up. She stepped out of the shower, drying herself, and wrapping herself in a huge fluffy towel. She thought dismally about getting dressed, and instead shrugged, wrapping a housecoat around her already towel-covered body. This was good enough for breakfast anyway.

* * *

Dilandau stared at the wall dismally. He couldn't look at Hitomi. She was sitting there in nothing but a towel and a housecoat. Wolfing down pancakes he'd made for her. It would all be so right, so perfect. If she was his. _If_ she was his. His grip tightened around his fork. How he'd love to stab Van with it right now, just to get him out of the picture.

He sighed. He also highly doubted Hitomi would then fall in love with her fiancé's murderer. He brightened momentarily. Maybe Van wouldn't forgive her. He turned his gaze back to Hitomi, watching her sweep her wet hair over her shoulder, sneaking a grateful look at him with her emerald eyes. Only an idiot wouldn't forgive a creature like her.

Hitomi paused. She felt like she ought to explain herself to Dilandau, but every time she looked up and met his eyes, the feeling floated away. It was as if she didn't need to explain herself to him. Her eyes clouded slightly as she stabbed her last piece of pancake. Now just to explain to Van.

"You know," Dilandau started. "You don't have to tell him you were the one who started the kiss." Hitomi snapped her head up to stare at him. She watched him run his hand through his silver hair. "I mean, that's what's bugging you isn't it? So just don't tell him. Just say you were drunk and some guy kissed you, and it didn't mean anything, and it will never happen again." He waved his hand lazily in the air. "And then voila, everything's happy in his simple little head again."

Hitomi felt like she should probably say something about Van not being simple. On the other hand, when it came to things like this he rather was – always letting his emotions get the best of him. She sighed. Technically it would be lying, wouldn't it? But it would make life easier…

She let her gaze fall again. "Don't worry about whether it's right, or moral, or ethical or any of that junk." Dilandau said, standing up and clearing the dishes from the table. "If you're going to rule a country you're going to find yourself constantly changing your definition of right until you give up on the idea entirely." He sat himself down in front of her, staring piercingly into her eyes. "When it all comes down to it, you do whatever brings about your own ends."

Hitomi shook her head. "That's not true. When it all comes down to it, you do whatever is best for the people you love, even if its not what's best for you." Dilandau stared at her softly for a long moment.

She watched him chew his lip. He seemed distracted by something. She watched him lift his hand slowly, gently pushing a lock of her damp hair behind her ear. "Maybe." He said softly. She breathed softly, unwilling to contend with the lump that had formed in her throat. "Anyway," Dilandau said, breaking the moment as he stood back up. "There's dishes to do."

Hitomi watched Dilandau's back as he walked away from her. She turned herself so her forehead could rest on the table. What on earth was wrong with her these days? She felt like such an _idiot_.

* * *

Van sat quietly under a tree in the forest outside the palace gardens. He slumped against the rough bark. A guy could only take so much really. He had no intention of telling any of his advisors why he was in such a bad mood today, immediately they'd start on about princesses ever so much better suited to Fanelia's throne than Hitomi, and he refused to have that. Hitomi was his, even if she'd let some other guy she didn't even know the name of kiss her while in a drunken stupor. He sighed, what kind of behaviour was that for a future queen? His future queen. His Hitomi.

He turned his head at a rustling in the bushes not too far from where he sat. "Who's there?" He asked irately. He didn't particularly want to be bothered at the moment.

"Ah, sorry, your highness." Celena stepped out of the woods. "Rorkin suggested I keep an eye on you since there were some rumours…" she trailed off noticing the irritated look in Van's eyes.

"First off Celena, I can take care of myself. I don't need bodyguards in my own forests. Secondly, it's Van. You know I don't like it when people get all formal."

Celena sighed, sitting next to the stubborn king. "Alright Van. But I'm still going to be formal in public you realize."

Van took a moment to absorb the fact she was smiling. His eyes darkened as he thought again about some other guy kissing Hitomi.

He noticed after a long moment that Celena was reading his features. "What's wrong?" She asked softly. Van decided not to reply. This wasn't something he needed other people's opinions on. "It's about Hitomi, isn't it?" She asked softly.

Van spun his head around. "What? How did you know that…" he trailed off, aware he'd given her an answer he hadn't meant to give.

She smiled wistfully. "You looked like love came and bit you from behind. What happened?"

Van took in Celena's melancholy look, and stored the information away for later. He sighed; maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell someone about this after all. At least it might hurt him a little less. "Hitomi went to a party last night." He said softly. "And she had a little too much to drink, and to make a long story short she ended up letting some guy kiss her."

Celena froze for a moment. Please not Dilandau, please not Dilandau, please not my Dilly, she found herself thinking. She paused. Since when is he _my_ Dilly? She asked herself rationally. And if it were Dilandau, Van wouldn't really be all that likely to just say 'some guy'. He'd be a lot angrier, and probably threatening to kill him. She thought this all through. "Who was it she kissed?" She inquired softly.

Van sighed, "Just some guy. She didn't even catch his name."

Celena let out a long breathe, suddenly realizing she'd been holding it. Okay, she thought, so not Dilandau. She leaned back against the tree, feeling its rough bark through her tunic. "I'm sorry, Van. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it though."

Van turned his head to smile wryly at Celena. "I know she didn't. It's probably my fault she drank so much in the first place." He sighed. "I just don't know how to handle feeling thankful that Dilandau was there to get her out of the situation. To take care of her. It should have been me there." He winced. "And instead, of all the people it could have been, it was Dilandau."

Celena nodded absently. That explained why Dilly had run off so quick last night. She sighed, she felt a little stupid. She should know that Hitomi loved Van too much to fool around with Dilandau. Suddenly fear gripped her, but she doesn't love him enough not to stay sober and avoid making out with strangers. She stole a look at Van, his features seemed calm enough. She couldn't help thinking though, no matter how much of an idiot it made her feel, what would happen _next time_ Hitomi drank too much?

* * *

_Hmm…am I adding enough content about what's going on in Fanelia? I realized just now I have plans for the next few chapters – none of which really focus on Celena or Van or Allen… I'll try to stick in stuff now and again, but I'm afraid they may be playing cameo roles in the next few chapters. (Like in this one.)_

_Also, I'm sure you've noticed I've been updating like crazy lately. Don't be surprised if its a bit of a wait til the next update - I have to catch up on my readings for school. :P _


	27. Chapter 27

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Chapter 27: Evil_

Dilandau stretched behind his desk. This last minute Christmas campaign was going no where. Ever since Hitomi's little lecture on ethics in advertising part of him had been against any more of his devious ads. He sighed softly. But the company needed something hard-hitting for boxing day. He grabbed a Twizzler from the package on his desk – some secret Santa thing for work. Though these things were addictive.

He tapped the side of his head lazily with the rubbery candy. Despite the constant demand for ethical advertising from the half of his brain that seemed permanently addicted to Hitomi, there was still the other half – which was just as evil and immoral as it had ever been. It just happened to lie utterly dormant whenever Hitomi was in the room, or might possibly hear about his actions, or… he paused. This was getting ridiculous.

Dilandau Albatou, Commander of the Dragon Slayers, would _never_, **_never_** change the way he acted just for a girl. "Albatou!" A voice shouted across the tops of the cubicles. Unfortunately, Dilandau Albatou, junior advertising design, would.

As he dragged himself over to the latest concept meeting, he found his thoughts torn in two, in an internal monologue. One voice seemed to be played by "Ruthless evil" and the other by "Nice idiot". He growled to himself. Why was it so wrong to like the evil side better? At least it wasn't a heartsick idiot. On the other hand, the "Nice idiot" side asserted itself, it's the only way you'll ever get Hitomi.

Smoothly he slid into his seat at the long board table, idly watching his coworker's ideas flit across the room's wall. Slowly, but inevitably, the evil side of his mind began to construct a new idea. He smirked, as he began to detail his idea. After all, everyone wanted love – especially insecure teenagers.

* * *

Several weeks later Hitomi was lounging on the couch, her head resting comfortably on Dilandau's lap. His hand was poised on the remote to start the movie for this particular Friday, when Hitomi reached up and grabbed the remote from him. "I wanna see this." She said suddenly. "It's the latest commercial from your company. I want to bring up in my gender studies class how degrading these advertising campaigns are to young women." She poked him. "You never did complain did you?"

Dilandau shook his head. "I like my job too much to worry about the ethics. Besides," he said with a smirk. "You might like this one."

Hitomi watched the commercial with shock. On screen were three young teens: two guys and a girl. The girl was decked out in the now-trademark miniskirt and short bomber jacket popularized by the fall campaign, but the guy she walked on screen with appeared somewhat shabby. After a moment, another guy walked on screen, dressed as the male equivalent of the girl. Of course the girl flocked to the guy dressed in similar stylish garb, leaving the shabby guy looking lost and confused – until he went shopping that is. By the end of the commercial he had his very own new fling.

Hitomi stared open-mouthed. "That's like every teenager's worst fear and easy solution." She said softly.

"I know." Dilandau said smirking.

Hitomi glared up at him. "You came up with that one didn't you?" She demanded.

Dilandau gazed down into Hitomi's emerald eyes, observing how her honey hair was strewn across his lap. "Would you kill me if I did?"

Hitomi wrinkled her nose. "You're _evil_."

Dilandau smiled. "Yes, but you _like_ me that way."

Hitomi pouted for a moment. "Just start the movie smart ass."

Dilandau smiled softly. Her head still rested on his lap.

Once again Dilandau found himself astounded by what people on the Mystic Moon could come up with. An animated musical contorting ancient myth into something for children – filled to the brim with double entendres. "What's this called again?" He found himself whispering into Hitomi's hair, as she'd pulled herself up to take some notes.

"Hercules. Disney of course."

Dilandau nodded, as if that explained anything.

"I _love_ this guy." Hitomi exclaimed laughing.

Dilandau turned to look at her. "Hades is the bad guy." He said seriously. "You're supposed to find him appalling."

Hitomi chewed thoughtfully on the end of her pen. "But he's also the funniest character in the movie. And he has the best personality. And he's most interesting. I mean, Hercules is a stereotype – typical warrior hero. And the love interest is gutsy, but she's still just the damsel in distress."

Dilandau looked at her softly. "So you could like the bad guy better than the hero?"

"Of course," Hitomi said smiling. Thoughts floated randomly through Dilandau's mind, nebulous, but powerful nonetheless. "It's just a movie." She finished.

Dilandau sighed.

* * *

Hitomi sat in her room studying for exams. She couldn't believe there were only a few days left of classes, then exams, and then she'd be home for Christmas. The phone chose that moment to ring. "Hello?" She murmured into the phone.

"Hitomi!" Her mother's voice crackled across the line. "How's the studying?"

"Good." She said, smiling into the receiver, "Though you caught me daydreaming about your turkey dinner."

"Perfect!" She heard her mother cry. "I was calling you to talk exactly about that. Where is Dilly spending Christmas?"

Hitomi felt something gnaw oddly in the pit of her stomach. Ever since she'd returned from Gaea, her mother had been not-quite-but-almost suggesting to her daughter that Dilandau could perhaps be more than a friend. And of course that it was a match she would have no arguments with. "I think he's working." She said slowly, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Well tell him to take some time off. I'm officially inviting him for Christmas." Hitomi sighed inwardly at her mother's enthusiasm. If only she knew her daughter was already engaged. To a king no less.

"Yes, Mom, I'll tell him he's invited." She tried to sound upbeat but it came out a little flat. She could feel her mother wincing at her tone, and wasn't altogether surprised when her mother demanded she put Dilandau on the line.

"Dilly!" She hollered down the hallway. "Phone!"

She returned to her studying. Only to be interrupted by a certain someone standing in her doorway, tapping the cordless phone against the doorway. "Your mom invited me for Christmas." He said with a smirk.

"I know," Hitomi replied, without looking up from her textbook. "She didn't believe I would pass on the message." She heard Dilandau's soft chuckle.

"So when do we leave?" He asked smiling. Hitomi looked up at him finally. She sighed and looked at him sideways. She took in his silver hair, illuminated by the yellow hallway light, and the way the shadows from her dark room swept across his figure, the light from her reading lamp reaching nowhere near him. She noted the dark look in his eyes, he enjoyed being evil she knew. Even if he had toned down his methods, the same dark motivations and twisted mind lingered on. She looked at the sexy smirk on his lips. She shook her head momentarily.

"Get out and let me study." She growled. She hated it when she found his evilness attractive. It was wrong on so many levels. And she had a sneaking suspicion that he was growing aware of it, and worse, that it was encouraging him.

* * *

Hitomi leaned against the cushions of the couch. "I can't believe there's no more movies to analyze." She said softly.

Dilandau looked at her strangely. "Then what was the dvd you just put in?"

Hitomi smiled. "Our professor actually gave an interesting lecture at last. He gave us a list of 15 movies we should watch in his opinion – but which the university senate might not approve of us writing about in second year."

Dilandau stared at her. "You still didn't answer the question."

She smiled, reaching out a hand to pat his knee. "I think you'll like it. It's called Devil's Advocate. I've heard its really thought-provoking, and dark."

Dilandau shrugged. "It can't be that bad."

Hitomi sat wide-eyed. "What the hell?" She gasped. "What was _wrong _with that movie?"

Dilandau sat similarly shocked. "Well, at least you know where the title came from." He fidgeted awkwardly.

"That was one of the creepiest movies I've ever seen." Hitomi whispered, still unaware that she was clinging to Dilandau's arm. "I don't understand…" she trailed off.

"Don't understand what?" Dilandau asked, gradually becoming aware of the fact that Hitomi was clinging to his arm.

"He was the devil. And evil. And it was all so horrible. And depraved."

"And oddly sexy?" Dilandau interrupted, surprising the both of them.

Hitomi sat silently for a long moment. "In a really, really creepy dark way that serves to freak you out maybe."

Dilandau moved to stand up. "Do you think I can have my arm back now?"

Hitomi blushed.

* * *

_Teehee! I'm sorry it's so short…and so evil :P I blame far too many twizzlers… unfortunately I haven't had a chance to go grocery shopping so its the only food I have at 4 in the morning…_

_Yes, next time will be longer. And will be Christmas. Again. O…but I got a question for everyone, since I'm having a crisis with this story. Would people rather Hitomi end up with our dear evil, yet loveable and sometimes cute and nice Dilly, or should she end up with the guy who's commonly regarded as her soulmate: the one and only Van? I need help here people! I had an ending all picked out with her ending up married to Van (allowing a little room for Celena/Dilly)…but the other night I came up with this astounding concept in which Hitomi actually ends up with Dilly. Which do you want to see?_

_(And please don't ask where Celena fits into the second idea… I have NO IDEA anymore… cries Dilly stole my story)_

_PS. If you haven't seen Devil's Advocate – go rent it. It's creepy but awesome. Al Pacino gives a social commentary that sums up every cynic's view of modern society to perfection._

_There will never again be an author's note this long._


	28. Chapter 28

**_What happens when it fades?_**

**_Chapter 28: Blind_**

It started innocently enough. The moonlight gave an aura of silver mystery, and it didn't surprise her to see him here. She watched him practice his sword from a distance. She simply admired him. The way the moonlight caught his features, it seemed to drown in his hair. Silver lost in silver. A shiver ran down her spine. Why was it so wrong to want him so badly?

She continued to walk closer to him, believing he hadn't actually noticed her yet. She watched his movements slow. He turned to face her. She felt a jolt of electricity run through her body the moment their eyes met. The sword clattered to the ground, as he covered the short distance that remained between the two of them. It still seemed an eternity before she felt his mouth on her own. The kiss she was waiting for, aching for. His lips brushed hers gently at first, but then intensified. She moaned softly against his lips, pulling herself closer to his body. She felt his arms crush her body to his, and she was in heaven…

Celena wrenched herself from sleep. She sat up in bed gasping softly in her dark room. She held her head in her hands. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to savour these images, or banish them from her mind. A single tear ran down her cheek – quickly brushed away by her impatient hand. These dreams had to stop. What she wanted was impossible. Even if Dilandau one day did love her, he would never come back to Gaea – and, as a knight, she could never again leave.

* * *

Hitomi stood in front of her parent's house, Dilandau at her side. She heard him chuckle softly. "Just think," he murmured, "Last time I was here, you smuggled me in a window." 

Hitomi shook her head and muttered something about how those were the good old days, shuffling her way up to the front door. She greeted her parents with hugs, and all the small talk of how the trip home was and such. She saw her mother pull Dilandau into a warm hug – much to his surprise – and smiled despite herself. It was sweet of her parents to take such a liking to him, but if only they knew the whole story. She sighed softly; she could just imagine how their opinions might change then.

Christmas in the Kanzaki household was a cozy affair. Christmas Eve found Hitomi sitting curled up on the comfortable sofa in the living room, pretending to read a book. Her brother had talked Dilandau into playing video games with him, and she watched with amusement. Of course Dilandau was winning, much to her brother's surprise. She turned a page, her eyes never leaving the two males. Wasn't it funny, she mused, how well Dilandau got along with her family? It was as if all that he had done on Gaea was some distant past life, and this Dilandau, despite his flaws, was really some entirely different person.

"Anyone want some hot chocolate?" Hitomi's mother asked, walking into the living room. She was smiling brightly, taking in the friendly, amused atmosphere of the three young people. Inside, something squeezed her heart. It was so nice to see her daughter with a young man. Seeing her so alone all through high school, never any boyfriends, had always made her a little nervous. But if she could just get her daughter to see what a wonderful man she had – and the fact that she had him. It never failed to amaze her how her daughter seemed oblivious to the way this Dilandau looked at her. The fact that the sky was the limit when it came to what he would do for her. Well, the older Kanzaki shook her head with a smile; there was still plenty of time for that!

Christmas morning everyone slept a little late. Even Hitomi's brother was now old enough that Christmas wasn't the early morning hectic affair it had once been. Mrs. Kanzaki smiled as she watched her family opening their gifts. She laughed at Dilandau's bewilderment when everyone had gotten him gifts. It seemed this was the first Christmas he'd ever spent with a family. Poor thing, she thought softly, orphaned so young. She'd have to get the full story out of him at some later date.

She watched her daughter's eyes light up at her gift from Dilandau – a boxed movie set. She was thrilled to hear the two spent every Friday night watching movies together. It was all so sweet, and so obvious to her. Yes, this was a very good Christmas in Mrs. Kanzaki's opinion.

New Year's Eve found them all gathered together in the living room. Mr. Kanzaki poured out champagne – even a little bit for Hitomi's brother, despite the fact he wasn't really old enough to "officially" drink yet. The family toasted the New Year together and Mrs. Kanzaki smiled at her daughter, silently wishing that this time next year would see her daughter kissing that Dilandau at the stroke of midnight, instead of just smiling shyly at him.

Mrs. Kanzaki wandered into the kitchen late the next morning, surprised to find an industrious Dilandau already at work on breakfast. "Well, what's all this?" She asked in surprised.

"Crepes." The young man said with a smile. "I figured an elegant breakfast would be a good start to the year."

The older woman couldn't help but smile at the man, with his striking violet-red eyes and silvery hair. She helped herself to coffee the young man had obviously also made. "So when can I expect a son-in-law?" She asked playfully.

Dilandau nearly jumped with surprise at that question. The fork he had been beating the crepe mix with clattered to the floor. "I… ummm… I doubt that would be me, if that's what you mean." He stuttered, carefully ensuring he didn't turn around to face Hitomi's mother.

Mrs. Kanzaki shook her head and took a sip of her coffee. "And why not? You have a good job, you can cook evidently, and you love my daughter. Anyone can see that."

Something very odd happened to Dilandau at that moment. He felt heat flush across his pale face. He mumbled something about not realizing he was that obvious, and moved to wash the fork he'd dropped, all the while careful not to let the woman see his face. He was blushing. Dilandau Albatou _did not_ blush. It was ridiculous to say the least.

And then he realized it had all been a question. How on earth did he answer it? Well, you see, as it turns out when you're daughter disappears for the summer, she visits her fiancé who just happens to be an arrogant, murderous king of a backwater country on another world? He sighed, not that he was any better. Worse, in fact.

He shuffled over to the kitchen table, cradling a cup of coffee in his own hands. "Because," he said slowly. "In this specific story, I'm the bad guy."

Mrs. Kanzaki joined the flustered young man at the table. "Why on earth would you say that?" She said softly.

"Because I am." Dilandau said softly, barely looking up at her from scrutinizing the table, "If you only knew how many bad things I've done in my life…" he trailed off.

"Up until you met Hitomi?" She finished for him.

Dilandau raised his gaze. "Yeah." He was surprised to see Hitomi's mother smiling brightly at him. He shook his head, "I don't understand why you look so pleased."

Mrs. Kanzaki continued smiling. "Behind every good man is a good woman. I've always been of the opinion that the strongest love is the one formed between two people who have changed each other for the better."

Dilandau shrugged. "That's one way to look at it."

Hitomi chose that moment to appear in the doorway, her hair sticking in all directions, a housecoat wrapped around her pajamas. "Is that coffee?" She asked hopefully.

"You bet." Dilandau said, quickly rising from his seat and pouring a mug full as Hitomi took a seat at the table.

Mrs. Kanzaki shook her head. Was her daughter really so blind to not see how much this man cared for her?

* * *

Dilandau sighed softly, sinking gently to his own couch, at home. It had been nice to spend Christmas with Hitomi's family, but he'd felt Hitomi's mother watching him all the time. Evidently, even if no one else in two worlds was on his side, that woman was. Almost intimidatingly so. Part of him felt like it would almost be possible that one day Hitomi might return his feelings. But another part of him felt utterly hopeless and lost. A future with Hitomi? That was a thing of dreams. 

He felt the woman in question sink down onto the couch beside him, resting her head against his shoulder. "Don't get me wrong," she muttered softly, "I love my family. But there was a reason I moved out."

He chuckled softly at that one, enjoying the feeling of her head on his shoulder. He wasn't sure if she was just too good to bring up his hopeless feelings for her, or if she was actually blind to them. His pride hoped it was the latter. "Hitomi," he started softly, feeling ridiculous about what he was going to say next. "What am I to you really?"

He felt Hitomi shift slightly against his shoulder, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She yawned slightly. "That's a silly question Dilly," she whispered softly, "You're my best friend."

Dilandau felt his heart constrict just a little. Though it was a start wasn't it? Best friend? Didn't most couples say each other was their best friend? He realized after a moment that she'd fallen asleep leaning on him. He stared at her honey hair and wondered if maybe his feelings weren't hopeless. Maybe his "plan" – for it had really ceased to be a plan where she was concerned – was actually working.

* * *

A world away, a young king stood before the window in his room, studying the blue-green moon that drifted above him. "Happy New Year, Hitomi." He whispered softly into the darkness. He could sense she was asleep. He smiled bitterly, she felt safe where she was. She felt happy where she was. Why could he not ignore the fact that she was living with another man? One whom he thought of as an enemy? Why could he not get the idea out of his head that Hitomi could right now be sleeping in that monster's arms? It was possible, wasn't it? 

He paced the room in frustration. He could tell from the way Hitomi talked about him and the things she said that she and Dilandau were getting close. He hoped, he prayed it was just as friends. He couldn't personally see how she could even stand to be friends with a guy who'd tried to kill her just a few years ago. He sighed, it served him right really – letting her go away and leave him here alone. Maybe he should have taken her up on one of those offers to visit her.

He wished he was more interested in the Mystic Moon. But truthfully, he was rather focused on Fanelia. He couldn't see how any place could compare to it, and he had so many things to do all the time, he never wanted to leave it alone. It was his kingdom. His responsibility. But, he cast a look back out at the orb that now filled his window, didn't he also have a responsibility to Hitomi? He realized then that he'd already made up his mind. He was going to visit Hitomi.

* * *

Hitomi shifted against Dilandau's shoulder, the noise from the television waking her up. "Do you ever turn the television off?" She asked in mock annoyance. 

"Of course." Dilandau snorted, "I can not believe the way that woman is holding that katana.

Hitomi directed her gaze to the television screen. "That's Kill Bill," she said softly to no one in particular. She looked at the woman on screen. "What do you mean she's holding it wrong? It doesn't look bad to me."

Dilandau shook his head. "And you know what about swords?"

Hitomi sat up indignantly. "I know a little."

"Oh really?" Dilandau replied, an amused look on his face. "Watching Van doesn't count. Especially since he never held his right either."

Hitomi stuck out her tongue. "For your information, it was Celena who tried to teach me how to use a sword in the summer."

Dilandau finally looked interested. "Really?" He looked at her doubtfully. "How come you never mentioned it before?"

Hitomi dropped her gaze. "She… uh… gave up. She said I made her want to cry I was so useless." She whacked Dilandau's shoulder gently. "Hey! It's not funny! Some insane ninjas could attack me when I'm out for a walk in the forest and I'd have no way of protecting myself!"

Dilandau was doubled over in laughter, but that last line sobered him up slightly. "Well…" he tasted the words on his tongue, "If you really want to, I suppose I could teach you."

Hitomi looked at him for a long time. "Really? You won't tell me I'm useless and give up?"

Dilandau shook his head. "I promise."

The next night found Hitomi holding the sword she'd bought Dilandau last Christmas awkwardly. Dilandau apparently wasn't ready to give her a real sword. She swung it and Dilandau winced. "You aren't holding it properly." He said softly. Hitomi frowned and pouted. He sighed, "You have to think of the sword as an extension of yourself."

Hitomi glared at him. "It's a chunk of steel. Made for killing. How is that in any way a part of me?"

Dilandau shook his head and walked over to Hitomi. He stood behind her and ran his hands down her arms. "First off," he whispered in her ear, "It's not a chunk of steel. It's steel that's been crafted and worked into a piece of art. You must respect a sword, it may be a weapon, but it's also art. A thing of beauty." His hands paused on her wrists. "Loosen your arms." He commanded. "You're too stiff. You have to think of this as something fluid and natural. You don't go in and hack things apart."

He felt Hitomi relax slightly against his chest, and then wrapped his hands around the sword, lifting it from her hands from behind. He took her right hand in his own and placed it finger by finger in the proper position, patiently repeating the action with her left. His hands covered her own, wrapped around the sword.

Hitomi shivered slightly. Dilandau stood directly behind her. She could feel the muscles in his chest against her back, even through the layers of clothing. His arms wrapped around her, and his hands were warm and strong above her own. His voice was a husky whisper in her ear and she could feel his breathe against her neck. She refocused her mind. Think sword, she thought to herself. She focused on the weapon in her hands, and let Dilandau guide her through the moves. She relaxed a little more. She could get used to all this.

* * *

_So…looks like Van will be coming for a visit. (Thank you NaraOccult for the wonderful idea! Soon as I read your review I immediately came up with some great ideas!). :P_

_Also, thank you to Empyreal Melody for the suggestion about the sword scene - I hope it's up to your expectations. There may well be more... as it was wonderfully fun to write it. :) _

_Hope you are all still enjoying the story!_

_At this point I've had two votes for Hitomi/ Van and five votes for Hitomi/ Dilandau… so if anyone wants to still give their opinion… please do, but I'm getting the idea that I'm not the only one who is getting attached to Dilly. :)_


	29. Chapter 29

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_I can't believe all the reviews people are sending me! It makes me extremely happy. I'm glad so many of you like my story, and find it amusing. _

_I'm not even sure what the stats are; from the looks of it, it's an even split between Dilly and Van getting Hitomi. The result being… I still dunno. You'll just have to keep reading. :D _

_Also, I'm sorry its taken so long to get this chapter out – my Internet has died, midterms are coming up, lab reports, blah blah blah…. SO I wrote you a bonus extra long chapter to make up for it. :D_

* * *

**_Chapter 29: Unexpected_**

Dilandau sat at his desk, staring blankly at his computer screen. More specifically he stared at the email that sat on his screen. Even more specifically he stared at the line that read: "Bring a date." Finally he ran a hand through his short hair. He could look at this in two ways: a chance to get a promotion, or a chance to finally, discreetly ask Hitomi to go on a date with him – without it exactly being a date. He tried to ignore the squirmy feeling in his stomach. Dilandau Albatou did _not_ get nervous.

* * *

Hitomi lounged on the couch, Dilandau's laptop sitting on her lap. She knew he'd kill her if he found out she'd used it, but sitting at her desk in her room using her desktop was so annoying when there were fun things to watch on television. Fun, distracting things that took her mind off the paper she was supposed to be writing.

Suddenly she heard the door open. She looked at the time shown on the laptop. Dilandau wasn't supposed to be home for an hour. Then it hit her – the time on the laptop was off. She heard the jingle of keys being set down on the kitchen counter. Hitomi sighed, so evidently he had known, and had set this lovely trap to catch her. She continued typing up her report. There was really no point in hiding it then.

Out of the corner of her eye she watched Dilandau stroll into the living room. "I knew you were using my laptop." He commented, polishing an apple on his shirt. "You could have asked you know."

Hitomi blinked. "You would have let me?"

Dilandau nodded. "On one condition of course."

Hitomi watched him warily. "That being?"

"You'd have to do me a favour."

Hitomi stared at him. "What sort of favour?"

Dilandau smirked. "Well, you see, I have this dinner meeting with a Mr. Charles Winston and his wife tomorrow night. Winston being one of the American owners of the company I work for."

"And the favour is?" Hitomi asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I need to bring a date."

"So you need me to find someone to go with you?" Hitomi asked confused.

Dilandau sighed. "I was thinking more that you could come with me."

Hitomi laughed. "I can't go as your date! What on earth would Van think?"

Dilandau frowned, this was absolutely not going as planned. "Would Van have to know?" he muttered softly. He thought for a moment, what he needed to do here was sell Hitomi this idea, and he was in advertising wasn't he? "Well," he said softly, "I suppose I could just get one of the girls from the third floor to go with me. They seem to like me well enough. And I'm sure they'd love a four courses, all expenses paid dinner at Le Petit Poisson."

Hitomi looked up from the laptop. "Isn't that the place that just won an award for its food?"

"One and the same." Dilandau said with a smile.

"The one that's like $40 a plate?"

"Indeed. It's too bad you don't want to come. Maybe I could bring you a doggy bag?" Dilandau said consolingly.

Hitomi glared at Dilandau for a long moment. Finally, she sighed, ready to admit defeat, "What should I wear?"

Dilandau just smirked. He could get everything he wanted it seemed, he just had to be patient.

* * *

The evening fell quickly on the cold February day. The sky, filled with grey clouds, turned dark earlier than usual, as if ushering in the night. Dilandau stood by the door to the apartment, tapping his foot impatiently against the tiled floor. "I appreciate you taking the time to look your best for me," Dilandau stated snarkily, "But if you don't hurry up we'll never get to the restaurant in time!"

Hitomi rushed out of the bathroom, attempting to slide a sandal on one foot while hopping down the hall on the other. She made it to Dilandau's side, one foot shod. She grabbed Dilandau's arm for support and triumphantly slid on the other. "S'ok," she gasped. "I'm ready."

Dilandau stood speechless. Hitomi was wearing a little black dress that ended just above her knees, thin spaghetti straps ran across her shoulders. Her hair was up, with thin ringlets styled to hang softly around her face. She looked gorgeous in his eyes. And she was still clinging to his arm.

"You awake?" Hitomi asked, waving a hand in front of his face worriedly.

"I'm fine," He replied quickly, helping her into her coat. "You just actually look good tonight. No one would believe you spend most of your time in track pants and baggy sweaters."

Hitomi swatted his shoulder. "I don't get very many chances to dress up." She smiled. "It's kinda fun. Besides," she shrugged, "When I get back to Fanelia I'll have to wear long fluffy dresses. I'm sure cute little ones like this wouldn't get me any respect."

Dilandau sighed. His goal for the night would have to be to get her mind off of that stupid, backwater country, and its pathetic little king. Even if just for a moment. He closed and locked the door to the apartment, taking a deep breathe.

Hitomi had to admit, walking into a high class restaurant was one of the more intimidating things she'd ever done. Yet when Dilandau took her arm to guide her through the tables and chairs of the main dining room, she was glad she'd come. Her outfit had been a perfect choice. And Dilly… well, as good as he looked in casual clothes, he looked something else tonight in a black suit. With his silver hair, and his cool attitude, he could have passed for the next James Bond... Hitomi shook her head, She was just there to act like Dilandau's date. It wasn't as if it was a _real_ one.

They arrived at a table tucked into a back corner. It was set elegantly with a white tablecloth and a single red rose in a slender blue vase. An older couple sat at the table; a somewhat bulky man, in a grey suit and dark blue tie, and a slender, older woman, silvery strands of grey winding their way through her chestnut hair. The couple looked happy, Hitomi noticed. They were holding hands, and the woman was sipping a glass of red wine.

Dilandau bowed his head slightly to the couple. "Mr. and Mrs. Winston, I presume?" he asked smoothly. When the couple nodded in mild amusement, Dilandau stuck out his hand. "Dilandau Albatou. I am so sorry I am late – but at the same time, the wait earned me this vision by my side."

Hitomi blushed slightly. Was this really Dilandau?

The older man smiled warmly, and chuckled softly. He gripped Dilandau's hand in a hearty handshake. "And what is your lovely date's name?"

" Kanzaki Hitomi." Hitomi replied softly, suddenly feeling shy.

"Kanzaki?" The older woman said softly, in a voice that seemed to sparkle like rain, "That's a funny name."

Dilandau smiled. "You forget my love," he addressed Hitomi, "Mr. and Mrs. Winston are from the US." He pulled a chair out for Hitomi and guided her onto it. He smiled warmly at Mrs. Winston. "Kanzaki is Hitomi's last name," he explained.

The older woman nodded softly. "Hitomi is a lovely name." She said warmly. "My neice is having a daughter and is looking for a name, would you mind if I suggested your's?"

Hitomi sat in shock. First, there was Dilandau calling her "love", and then there was the pulling out her chair for her, and now this woman was asking if she could give her name to her niece's yet-to-be-born daughter? What was this? Hitomi grabbed the glass in front of her and sipped gratefully. It was just ice water, but her mouth had grown so dry over the past few minutes. She blinked for a moment.

This was all an act wasn't it? She'd be faced with similar situations when she was queen of Fanelia. Similar strange requests, similar elegant surroundings. She looked over at Dilandau for a moment. He was already talking to Mr. Winston, selling him on some idea or another. Wasn't this all just a favour to help him get that promotion he wanted so badly? So acting like a gentleman, pretending they were a couple, it was like a commercial. A commercial where he was the product. Hitomi had to stifle a laugh.

Instead she smiled warmly, and turned her gaze back to Mrs. Winston. "Of course you could give her my name. I'm flattered you think it's so nice." Her emerald eyes sparkled in the candlelit restaurant, and she slide into the role of Dilandau's smart, pretty date smoothly, winning the hearts of the couple.

By the second course she had Mr. Winston laughing, as she related a story about the first time Dilandau had attempted to make crepes and they had ended up plastered to the kitchen ceiling. Which of course earned her a glare from her silver-haired "date". But something told her, from the way that the older couple sat so close, from the way their eyes met, that these little stories were ringing true with tales form their own lives.

By the third course, Mr. Winston was relating the tale of how he and Serena (Mrs. Winston) had met. Apparently, when he was a young man he'd been a fierce junior executive, ordering around the office staff, and making his secretaries cry. At least, until Serena came to work for him.

Dilandau sat intrigued, "That reminds me of something your mother said to me," he found himself saying to Hitomi. "That behind every good man is a good woman."

The older couple stifled their laughter as Hitomi went red. "She said what?" She finally realized that her mother had been trying to get her and Dilandau closer all Christmas. She covered her face with her hand. "Why would she say something like that?"

Mrs. Winston smiled knowingly, "Perhaps it has something to do with the engagement ring on your hand?" Hitomi kept her hand in front of her face in an attempt to hide her growing horror. They thought she was engaged… to Dilandau!

Dilandau bit his lip. He really should have seen this coming. He could see how red Hitomi's face was getting. This could all fall apart right now. He closed his eyes for a moment. So much for making her forget about Van.

"Though I certainly hope this young man intends on getting you a fancier ring." He heard Mr. Winston say. "That one is rather plain for as lovely a woman as yourself."

Dilandau kept his eyes closed, and gulped.

"I'm sure he will." He heard a voice say silkily. "I'm surprised you noticed this at all. It's really more of a promise ring then a real engagement ring. He's always promising me that as soon as he has enough money he'll get me a several carat diamond. And a beautiful wedding of course."

He opened his eyes slowly.

"He's really very sweet." Hitomi continued, flashing him a smile that oozed affection. Though he could see from the look in her eyes that he owed her. Big time.

Mr. Winston laughed. "Ah, young love." He turned to Dilandau, "Now soon as you get a promotion you had better get this lovely lady a real ring." He admonished. "If you don't wrap a great sparkly gem around her finger some other guy will steal her from under your nose. And I'm sure you don't want that?"

Dilandau dared to look over at Hitomi again. "No," he replied gently. "I certainly wouldn't want that." At that moment Hitomi turned her gaze onto him, and her emerald eyes sparkled into his own. And those eyes smiled at him, brighter than the smile on her lips. Despite all the confusion, she was having fun.

Dilandau turned his attention to the slice of cheesecake that had appeared in front of him. Perhaps it was Van who should have been given that advice about Hitomi's ring. He looked over at Hitomi again. She was licking her fork clean of the delectable cheesecake. Inwardly he groaned. Why couldn't he just sweep her off her feet and kiss her again? Aside from the fact that they were in the middle of a restaurant, of course.

From that point Dilandau never wanted dinner to end. Because as soon as they left the restaurant, Hitomi would stop acting and would swat his shoulder and tell him he owed her something huge and unreasonable in return for making him look good. She would stop acting, and that inviting sparkle in her eyes would turn off and he would go back to being Dilly, her best friend. Dilly, the redeemed villain. He sighed softly. A feather-light touch ran across his hand.

He looked up into Hitomi's eyes. "I'll be right back, ok?" She asked him softly. She paused, her hand lingering on his own. "And smile. You're making a good impression." She squeezed his hand before walking in the direction of the restrooms. Dilandau let his eyes follow her form, as she lithely moved through the tables.

Mr. Winston smiled at his wife. "So in love." He murmured. His wife nodded in agreement; a smile lighting up her lovely, aging face.

"They are so sweet together."

* * *

Hitomi skipped down the sidewalk, a few steps ahead of Dilandau. "So… I think you owe me big time. I'm thinking cars, a cell phone with prepaid long distance, champagne at Sunday brunch for the next year."

Dilandau smiled at her despite himself. "No, no, and maybe."

"Oh c'mon Mr. Big Shot advertising executive." Hitomi pouted. "You should spoil your "fiancé"."

Dilandau shook his head, a slight smirk on his lips. "I think you had too much to drink again."

Hitomi shook her head, "Did not!" She giggled, "If I did it's cause you kept filling my glass with wine."

Dilandau held open the door to their building for his slightly giddy Hitomi. "So I think a red convertible would do the trick." She said softly, as they waited for the elevator.

"That would require a slightly higher price." Dilandau murmured.

"Really?" Hitomi asked. "And here I thought pretending to be head over heels in love with you was quite the Oscar-winning performance. What would a convertible take?"

Dilandau couldn't help himself. "A kiss." He replied wolfishly, as the elevator doors opened for the young couple.

"A kiss?" Hitomi replied softly, as they stepped into the elevator. She looked up at Dilandau, who was standing rather close to her. She looked at his face, turned to face the doors, and impulsively her hand brought itself up to trace his jawbone lightly. She watched him turn his head to look down at her in shock. Their height difference was only really by a few inches. His mouth was rather close to her own.

Dilandau could feel Hitomi's breathe on his face. The slight breeze taunted his lips. Their eyes were locked, and he could sense Hitomi raising her face ever so slightly, perfecting the angle.

The elevator door slid open. Their lips were just inches from each other's…

* * *

Van stood by the apartment door. It had taken some time, and convincing of his council, to leave the kingdom in their hands for a few days. He had wanted this visit to be a surprise for Hitomi. He knew that despite all her offers, she'd never really expect him to come. Neither of them was entirely sure how this travel between world's worked, but somehow it had worked for him.

He'd found himself before a small temple, in a garden, under the light of the setting sun. He smiled despite the chill wind, there were already buds on the sakura trees. He wondered if this garden was near where Hitomi lived, if she came here in the spring, when the trees bloomed. He wandered through the garden only to come to a gate. It was then he realized that all around him were buildings far taller than anything he'd ever dreamed.

He'd wandered the streets in a daze. These were the things Hitomi had called cars – they moved so fast down the streets. And the lights, everywhere. No amount of candles or Drag-Energists could provide that much light. And not in such an unnatural yellow. So harsh. He shivered slightly, despite being in a crowd, he had never felt more alone. People walked right by you, no one said hello, or good evening, or even smiled. Each focused on their own little internal world. No wonder Celena had hated it so much.

He finally found a street sign with a name that sounded vaguely familiar. He couldn't say Hitomi had given him directions exactly. But he did know what her building was called, and her apartment number. He had found it finally, after several hours of walking. It had taken another half hour to convince an older lady to let him into the building. Apparently you needed a key just to open the inner doors. He shook his head, what sort of world was this with so many locked doors? He found another when he got to Hitomi's apartment.

And he'd knocked. And knocked. And there had been no answer. So he waited. And waited. Where was Hitomi? He wondered in confusion. She hadn't mentioned going out anywhere, and it was certainly late. The strange sliding doors he'd observed earlier opened. And there, finally, was Hitomi. Standing next to some guy with silver hair.

* * *

The doors slid open, and Hitomi blinked. What on earth was she doing? She was inches away from kissing Dilandau! She turned her head, breaking the intense gaze that had held them both. Her eyes fell to the floor first, but traveled up as she got out of the elevator. She gasped.

"VAN!!" She screamed, sprinting down the hallway as only a trained sprinter could, and leapt into her true love's arms.

Dilandau watched disappointedly as Hitomi averted her eyes, pulling them out of the gaze that had held her so close to him. He sighed, but it was a start wasn't it? Enough to inspire some feelings beyond those of the best friend sort, right?

He shook his head softly and looked down the hall, only to spot a certain raven-haired nemesis of his. He suppressed a snarl, but was taken wholly off guard by the speed in which the woman he'd been about to kiss, threw herself into the other man's arms. He averted his eyes. He didn't want to see Hitomi kissing a pathetic king of a backwater country with a literacy rate of 8 .

He edged his way past the lovers and pulling his keys out of his pocket, wrenched the door open. "I'm assuming you'll be sleeping with Hitomi." He addressed the air beside the engrossed couple, before slipping into the apartment.

* * *

Van pulled himself regretfully away from Hitomi's lips when he noticed the silver-haired man push by them to open the door. It was at the last statement that he realized who this strange man was. "Dilandau?" he asked softly, shock on his face.

He would never forgive himself for being so stupid as to think Dilandau would look the same as he remembered him. Obviously he would no longer look like an insane 15 year old, slightly feminine, with a wild look in his eyes.

Van watched the silver-haired man turn around. He was momentarily taken aback by the man who stood before him. The man stood nearly as tall as himself (himself having grown to about 6 feet tall). His face had hardened into the solid lines of an adult, his eyes still bizarrely red. But they were calm now, flames trapped into a fixed space, cool and collected. The silver hair was shorter now, contrasting with the black suit he wore to give an impression of sophistication. For a moment, Van felt shabby.

He looked back at Hitomi. Her skin was flushed, her lips parted slightly. He took her coat. She also was dressed to the nines, wearing a little black dress. It looked dazzling on her, as scandalous as it would appear in a royal court.

Van looked from Hitomi back to Dilandau. He looked back at Hitomi. "Why are you both dressed up?" He asked softly, curiosity evident in his voice.

He watched Hitomi stare at him silently for a moment. Van was not prepared for the explanation to come from behind.

"I had to take a business partner out for supper. Hitomi accompanied me, so that the wife would have someone to talk to. We're dressed up because unlike some places I know, here serious people who talk business look presentable."

Van turned to see Dilandau smirking bitterly. "So, as I said before, I assume you'll be sleeping with Hitomi?"

"What business would it be of your's?" Van snapped back, unimpressed.

"Well, seeing as how this is _my_ apartment," Dilandau started, "Its good to know where the guests are sleeping."

Van stared at Dilandau, aching to pull his sword out of the bundle by his feet. Aching to wipe that smirk off this evil creature's face.

Hitomi nudged him softly. "Just say yes." She turned to face Dilandau. "Don't worry about breakfast tomorrow," she said softly. "I'll make it for me and Van."

Dilandau nodded. "I'll make extra coffee."

Hitomi nodded softly. "Thank you." She paused, as she watched Dilandau turn around to head to his room, "Dilly?" She said softly, extricating herself from Van's arms. "Thank you for tonight. Supper was lovely."

Dilandau turned back around and observed Hitomi's smile. He tried not to show any emotion. He didn't want anyone to know badly he wanted to be the one sleeping with Hitomi that night; he didn't want anyone to know how crushing it had been to see her leap into Van's arms. "Goodnight Hitomi." He said softly.

"Goodnight Dilly." Hitomi said with a smile. She watched him smile back wanly, before heading to bed. She sighed, it must be more than a little hard to have your worst enemy appear on your doorstep, expecting to stay in the place you more or less own.

She turned back to Van. "Dilly?" He asked with an eyebrow raised. Hitomi shrugged, everything that evening had been unexpected, didn't Van deserve a taste of it too?

* * *

_Hope you like! Note how there is both Dilandau/Hitomi AND Van/Hitomi. You can never say I don't love my readers. :P_


	30. Chapter 30

_**What happens when it fades?**_

_Well, it looks like my updating may have to be reduced to once a week… and I might have some trouble keeping up with that too. I'm getting swamped with lab reports and midterms, though I'm doing well so far, so here's hoping I'll have the time I want!_

_This is actually my longest chapter yet – 11 pages! Enjoy!_

* * *

_**Chapter 30: Of Anger, Possession, and Swordplay**_

_Why didn't you tell me he was coming?_

'Uh… umm… what?'

Dilandau sighed gently, _Celena! Don't tell me you didn't know… _He could feel the tension, and the guilt flowing out from her in waves. He ruffled through her memories, like pages in a book, looking for any good reason for her not giving him any warning about his "houseguest".

'Get out of my head, Dilandau.'

_You didn't even give me a chance to prepare for this! _He growled, still rifling through her memories. It was cruel, it was despicable, and rummaging through her memories was a complete and utter violation of her privacy. But he was pissed.

'Get. Out. Of. My. Head. Now.' Celena hissed. 'Did it never occur to you that it might be better that you weren't able to prepare? You would have left town; found some excuse out, just to avoid him. At least this way you finally have to confront him.'

_Why would I want that?_ Dilandau sulked now, leaving Celena's memories and thoughts alone for the moment.

'Because you still have issues with him. Because you need to see Hitomi with him, so you can get over your stupid crush.'

_It's not a stupid crush._ He shook his head, refusing to say anything more, but suddenly reminded of that moment in the elevator.

'You almost kissed her! You moron!' Celena shrieked in his head. 'What would have happened if Van had seen? You would have been dead!'

Dilandau sat on the edge of his bed; at this point he dropped his head into his hands, fine silver strands of his hair blocking his face from the world. _Calm down. You're making my head hurt._ He remained frozen in his position, listening to his breathing. He felt like an idiot that was for sure. He was angry, frustrated, and… damnit, he'd been having the best night of his life up until his most precious highness had decided to waltz in. _Why does he take everything from me?_ He whispered mentally.

He heard Celena sigh. 'But Hitomi was never yours.'

_But you were. And he took you. You happily went to him. You serve him. You probably are best buddies, aren't you? Probably give each other advice and go horseback riding until the sun sets. Ain't that cute? Such lovely good friends._

Celena had been pacing back and forth across her room up to this point. At this last outburst she found herself sliding down a wall to the floor. She blinked. He was jealous? Did that mean he actually cared a little?

_Is Van a good friend? _Dilandau continued his rant._ Does he offer a hug now and again when things are tough? Have you had the honour of fighting against him? Did he let you almost beat him, just cause he's that nice?_ Spite dripped from Dilandau's words and Celena felt a tight knot of anger blossom in her belly: a little fire in her gut, fueled by his stubborn ignorance.

'And what about your precious Hitomi? Isn't she your best friend? Don't you enjoy your little movie nights, when she leans on your shoulder, and you think that maybe, just maybe it could work between you? Is she such a wonderful friend? Does she make you feel all better? All warm and fuzzy and loved inside?'

In an instant the two were in the dark. Like the time they had crossed blades, a strange dark world had been conjured out of their minds. Only this time a biting wind blew through them; two darkened figures standing on a dark plain in a storm that never rained. They glared at each other in the dark.

_You're a bitch. _Dilandau snarled, closing the distance between them, so that his face hovered only inches away from Celena's. She glared up at him defiantly; her hand violently slapped his face.

'And you're being an asshole!' She watched his face for his reaction. He grabbed her still raised hand by the wrist and glared at her. His red eyes glowed like banked embers, desperately wanting to blaze. She watched his eyes, a hundred feelings swimming in her gut. She hated Hitomi for teaching him to keep the fire in him under control. She missed the Dilandau who had been all her's.

Suddenly, he dropped her arm. _This is stupid._ He whispered softly, the cold wind dying around them, leaving a silent, calm blackness, lit only enough for them to make out each other's faces in the inky dark. _You are my best friend. You are. You always will be. _He took a step back.

Celena tried to staunch the emotions that flowed through her as he stepped away. He hadn't even been that close to her, but her body could feel the absence of his. She shook her head, this wasn't real. This was all in their minds. If she opened her eyes, she'd be alone in her room in Fanelia. How could she miss his physical presence when there had never really been one?

_I'm sorry. I'm just… confused. I shouldn't be taking this out on you._

Celena felt like slapping him again. What would she give to have her old Dilandau back? She missed his anger, the raging fire of his emotions. She felt ridiculous; she missed him taking things out on her. At least then he'd really talked to her. She'd known who he was. This man before her now wasn't him. She felt tears prick at her eyes. She didn't know who this Dilandau was. For all the access she had to his mind, she didn't know him.

She looked at the dark shape that was him. She fought to contain her tears. 'It's fine. You needed to vent. I want to be the one you vent to. I… I miss you.' She felt like crumpling. It felt like admitting defeat – this admittance of even a fraction of the emotions that ran through her head and her heart when it came to Dilandau.

Suddenly she felt herself pulled into strong arms. _I miss you too._ His silky voice whispered into her ear. The tears were really threatening to fall now. If he only knew how much she wanted him to really mean that. How much she wanted to be the person he wanted.

Dilandau shifted slightly, pulling out of the hug. _Listen, could you do me a favour then?_

'Alright.' Celena whispered softly.

Dilandau looked at her closely. Her eyes seemed dark and luminous. He really hoped there was nothing wrong. He'd been angry, but he hadn't been that horrible to her. He'd said much worse things to her before, in that now distant past they shared. _Get Van out of my apartment?_

He watched Celena burst into laughter then. He watched her carefully. If he didn't know any better, she was hiding something. It was as if that statement had been the unexpected weight that broke something inside her. He shook his head; that was ridiculous.

'I suppose I could find some excuse. I'll need a few days to come up with a realistic reason to drag him back here though, alright?'

Dilandau smiled softly. _I can handle that. _He watched Celena for a long moment. He'd forgotten what she really looked like, he realized. The exact way her hair fell into short, gentle blonde curls, the sad look to her eyes. She'd seen so much more than she'd ever needed to see, and here she was, becoming a knight. Dilandau wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry at that one. She embraced the fight.

'Of course,' Celena began, 'You're going to owe me big time for this. Like really big time. We're talking something ridiculously grandiose.'

Dilandau grimaced. What was with these women? Always going on about this owing them back business.

* * *

Hitomi woke slowly, feeling warmer and safer than she had in ages. She turned over gently in bed to study Van's sleeping form. She gently reached out and ran her fingers through his dark hair. For a long time she lay there, drinking in the sight of him. Her angel, come to earth. She smiled, watching him sleep so peacefully. 

She rose slowly, softly pulling on a housecoat before padding out to the kitchen. Who would have thought, back when she had first arrived on Gaea, that Van would be her future husband? She stifled a laugh. Or that she would one day be a queen? Her smile drooped a little. That day wasn't really that far away anymore was it? She turned to face the calendar in the kitchen. March had come in fast. Second year was almost over, then it was only two more years before she would go back to Fanelia forever. She would be Van's bride. She sighed softly. She still didn't feel ready to be a queen. She thought softly about her political systems class, she wasn't even sure she liked monarchies. Her face crinkled into a frown. In fact, she really didn't like the way women were treated on Gaea at all. She nearly shuddered to think of it, but Zaibach had been the only country she could remember that had really given women equal, or close to equal, treatment as men.

She tilted her head. But maybe that was changing. After all, under Van's leadership Fanelia now trained female knights. That had to mean something didn't it? The frown didn't lift though. She wracked her brain, there were still so many things lacking in Fanelia. Maybe she could help change that though. Maybe with her as queen, she could improve medical care, and get more people reading and writing. She smiled slightly, that was a legacy wasn't it? The founding of schools and hospitals.

Her hand brushed across the counter, falling upon a note.

Tomi – I know you said you'd make breakfast, but I pulled the bacon out of the freezer for you. It should be nearly defrosted by the time you get up. I made extra coffee, but it might not taste so great reheated, that's my personal experience anyway. I'm assuming you're skipping your classes to give his highness a tour of Tokyo. I probably won't be home until late – I'd rather keep out of your hair.

Love, Dilandau

Hitomi smiled. He'd gotten the bacon out for her – he didn't have to do that. With that she left the note fall back down to the counter and began fixing breakfast.

* * *

Van wandered into the kitchen. He'd awoken alone. The instant awareness had hit him, he'd found himself searching for Hitomi's warm body. Where had she gone? Frantic images offered themselves up to him. Hitomi in Dilandau's arms. When on earth had that devil gotten handsome looking? Van shivered. It wasn't fair. 

The smell of bacon brought him back, however. He quickly pulled on his clothes, and wandered out into the rest of the apartment. He paused in the doorway to the kitchen. Hitomi was cooking. Bacon sizzled in a frying pan, and Van was fairly certain he could spot another pan with pancakes slowly cooking up. Hitomi was humming something, slightly out of tune. His eyes clung to her and the way the housecoat she wore hung loosely around her slender form.

He found himself snaking his arms around her waist, pulling her toward him. "Do you always dress so scandalously in the morning?" he breathed into her ear.

"Only when you're the only one around." She giggled softly, clinging to him slightly. Van lost himself rapidly in her deep emerald eyes, and pinned her gently to the counter, his lips tracing his way down the side of her neck. Suddenly, his eyes caught sight of a slip of paper. He paused in his kisses, his eyes rapidly scanning the note, coming to a screaming stop at the way Dilandau had signed the note.

"Does Dilandau usually sign his notes to you with love?" He found himself asking, no trace of romance in his voice.

Hitomi stepped away from him to look where he was looking. She stared at him critically. "What are you talking about?"

Van dimly pointed towards the note. Hitomi leaned over to look at it again. "Oh." She said softly. She raised her head and looked at him pointedly. "It doesn't mean anything."

Van crossed his arms. "It doesn't? Are you sure? After all, you looked a little cozy standing in that elevator with him last night."

He watched Hitomi gape like a fish for a moment. "You… saw that?" She whispered meekly. He nodded at her, forcing his eyes dark and unreadable. He'd wanted to ask for an explanation ever since she'd explained what an elevator was. He watched her shake her head. "It was just the situation. The lovely meal, and the moonlight outside, and I had a little too much to drink, and pretending to be his fiancé…"

Van stared at her in shock. "Pretending to be his fiancé?" He felt himself looking at Hitomi in a whole new way. He watched her sigh and take a deep breathe, tucking the housecoat more tightly around her body.

"It was a misunderstanding. Dilandau introduced me as his date – which I was, sort of. And the couple assumed by the ring that he was the one I was engaged too." She explained. Van felt a little like shaking her for having a bored look on her face. "It was just acting." She moved to turn her attention back to breakfast.

Van felt his arm reach out and grab Hitomi's. "Just acting?" He heard himself repeating dully.

"Van," Hitomi said softly. "The pancakes are burning." He loosened his grip, and let Hitomi attend to the pancakes. He watched her for a heavy moment. She turned back to him. "This is silly, Van. You know I love you. I'm wearing this ring because I want to marry you. You are the one I want to spend my life with. Dilandau is my friend. That's all. Maybe my best friend, but that doesn't mean he's a threat to my love for you!"

Van stared at Hitomi: the way her eyes watered slightly. He watched as her lower lip trembled gently. He felt like a jerk. He pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry," he mumbled into her hair. "Gods Hitomi, it's just been so long since I've held you. I feel sometimes like I'm on the verge of losing you." He closed his eyes, drinking in the feeling of Hitomi, his Hitomi, clinging to him.

* * *

Dilandau walked in late that evening, as promised. The apartment seemed deserted as he stepped into the living room. He turned on the television, and then headed down the hall. A single sound chilled his heart as he passed Hitomi's closed door. He prayed to himself softly, hoping it had been the television. But no, there again, the tiny, soft moan escaped through the door. Dilandau ground his teeth. This was _his _apartment. He was staying. 

He stepped into his bedroom and closed the door. He reached for his radio and turned the music on. Suddenly he paused in his movements, wondering if Hitomi had remembered that her parents were coming for Saturday brunch tomorrow. He shrugged, pulling off his shirt. As enjoyable as it would be to interrupt the events taking place several doors down, he didn't think he had the stomach, or the heart, to actually do it. It would prove something to him. Something Celena kept telling him. That Hitomi wasn't his and never would be. That she was Van's.

He shook his head, growling at the dark sky outside his window. Well, he just hoped for her sake that she remembered. He smirked; wouldn't it be a treat if she didn't? His face lit up with a malicious grin. Would make an excellent first impression on her parents wouldn't Van? Tumbling out of bed with their daughter, when they didn't even know he existed.

Then the thought hit him like a ton of bricks. "Yeah," he muttered. "Tumbling out of bed with Hitomi." He dropped his head into his hands. This just led him back to square one, in which Van was in bed with Hitomi. His Hitomi.

* * *

The next day dawned bright and early on Dilandau. He stood in the kitchen, baking all sorts of extravagant things to try to quell the burning in his gut. Every time he so much as looked in the direction of Hitomi's door he had an indescribable urge to burn something. "And I've been so good." He murmured sadly, shaking his head. "Van just brings out the worst in me." 

The hour of Hitomi's parent's arrival crept nearer. Dilandau looked impatiently at Hitomi's door. It never opened. He shrugged. It wasn't his problem. They weren't his parents. He wasn't the one who'd invited them even. He just liked baking things. He looked at the cookbook he had propped up on the counter, wondering how people would feel about flambé for breakfast.

The phone rang then. Dilandau answered and promptly pressed the button to let Hitomi's parents into the building. He paused. Was now the good time to tell Hitomi her parent's were here? The evil voice was winning, he thought softly, as the malicious grin appeared on his face. Nah, not just yet.

A knock came at the door. Dilandau graciously opened the door, welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Kanzaki. Had they had a safe drive? Brunch would just be a few more minutes. He had scones, muffins, and some crazy fruit-filled puff pastry he'd actually had no inclination to bake, but the challenge had been too tempting. And oh yes, by the way…

"Hitomi! You're parents are here!"

Dilandau smirked. He wasn't doing this to be mean to Hitomi. He just didn't like Van. He never would. You couldn't make him.

* * *

Hitomi woke with a start to Dilandau yelling something about parents. She gazed lazily at her alarm clock. "11:30?" She read sleepily. She froze. "Van?" She whispered in a pained voice. "What day is today?" 

"Saturday, isn't it?" He replied gruffly, still half asleep.

"Shit!" Hitomi breathed. Her eyes flared for a moment. "I'm going to kill him."

"Kill who?" Van asked, still not fully aware of the events transpiring around him.

"Just get dressed. You're about to meet my parents." She hissed, as Van's eyes widened.

"She'll just be a moment." She heard Dilandau saying sweetly. "She had a late night." She would murder him the instant her parent's were gone. This was beyond being laughed off. She tugged on the first clothes she could find, mentally screaming at not having time for a shower. Her hair was mussed, she looked… she looked over at Van… they looked like that had spent the night in the throes of passion. She sighed, even if it was true, her parents didn't need to know that!

She pulled herself into the light, praying she'd done enough to her hair to make it stay. She dragged Van behind her. "Hi Mom, Dad." She said brightly, to her parent's astonished faces.

Dilandau watched Hitomi's mother's mouth drop at the sight of Van, and her daughter, looking absolutely, he arched an eyebrow, scandalous really. "Hitomi," the older woman breathed.

It was Hitomi's father who came to his senses first. "So who is this?" He inquired, somewhat tactlessly. Both parents still stared at their daughter in shock. Dilandau decided now was a good time to pull those scones from the oven.

From the kitchen he listened to Hitomi fumble her way through introduction. "But… what about Dilandau?" He heard Hitomi's mother ask in astonishment. He bit his lip, this was about to get interesting. At least Van's sword appeared to still be in Hitomi's bedroom. He wondered briefly if he would be fast enough to escape an infuriated Van.

"What about Dilandau?" He heard Hitomi ask innocently.

"You're engaged to him." Her parents said in unison. Dilandau paused in the kitchen doorway as all eyes turned to him. "Aren't you?" Her mother pressed.

Dilandau shrugged. "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Mrs. Kanzaki." He replied smoothly. He smiled sadly, apologetically. "I told you I'm the bad guy in this story remember?"

All eyes swung to Hitomi for some explanation. Instead they got their answer from a stony faced Van. "She's my fiancé." He said stiffly. He looked about ready to kill something.

"Ok," Dilandau murmured from the doorway. "I'll just set the table then." He listened to Hitomi squirm as she made up a story to explain meeting Van. It was just as well her parent's knew Celena, this way she could just explain that Van was from that same place. That same country that never got a name, Dilandau noted.

Hitomi's father nodded, taking it all in stride. "So, Van," he began. "What do you do? Going to school, working… or?"

Hitomi hastily cut in. "Van's running his parent's business." Dilandau smirked in the distance, not a bad lie really. There was a grain of truth to it he supposed.

The breakfast was painfully awkward. The things Dilandau had baked were exquisite, but no one really had much of an appetite for anything, after the morning's events. Hitomi's parents left a little quickly. "For Pete's sakes," he heard Hitomi's mother hiss to her daughter, "Take a shower Hitomi."

Hitomi closed the door behind her parents, her face flushed a delightful shade of red, Dilandau noted. He also watched Hitomi's face lift to meet his gaze. He hastily put the dishes he was carrying down on the nearest flat surface, Hitomi sprang across the room, her eyes flaring brightly. "I'm going to murder you, Dilandau!" She screamed.

Dilandau caught Hitomi by the wrists and held her off him. She was furious. He bit his lip nervously. Did she know how hot she looked with her green eyes burning like that? "What?" he murmured dangerously. "I was sure you'd remember you'd invited your parents for brunch today."

Hitomi pounded her fists against his chest. "You could have at least woken me up when they phoned! I could have at least gotten to the shower, and had some excuse about waking up late. But this!" She glared at him.

Dilandau felt suddenly very rotten. Horribly rotten in fact. Headache-inducingly horrible and heartless. In his haste to see Van made a fool of, he'd also let Hitomi get hurt. It had obviously been painful for her: to look like that in front of her parents, to have to lie to their faces. He sighed. It would be easier if she just told them the truth, but he knew she wasn't ready for that yet.

Van cleared his throat. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Hitomi strangle Dilandau, but she looked like she was getting close to bursting into tears in his arms. In Dilandau's arms! "Could I ask why exactly your parents thought you and Dilandau were engaged?" He asked calmly. "Was it more pretending?" He paused. He hadn't meant to say that. In fact he'd meant to say something to comfort Hitomi.

But his pride ached. He was a king. A king damnit! People weren't supposed to look at him like he was nothing. They weren't supposed to compare him to someone like Dilandau, of all people, and dismiss him as being the lesser of the two. He realized then that he was angry. Not the calm angry, he'd acquired over hours of arguing with his council, that horrible hot-headed angry he hadn't felt since he was fifteen. That ridiculous anger that made him lash out at people, daring them to get angry at him. Because he was a king.

Hitomi stared at Van in shock. The tone in his voice! He hadn't used that on her since they were fifteen, pathetically confused and hurting in the midst of a war.

Van returned her gaze, only his was cold and hard. "Maybe," he started softly, "Maybe they were right. Maybe you aren't meant to be a queen at all."

Hitomi felt her heart crumbling.

Dilandau stared at Van. Was this guy an idiot? One bad appearance and he was back to being the stuck up brat of five years ago? He looked down at Hitomi's face. Tears rimmed her soft eyelashes. "Van!" She cried, stepping towards the young king, attempting to wrap her arms around him. Dilandau stepped out of the room and down the hallway. He didn't need to be there for this.

Frustrated he pulled his sword from the scabbard. He stared at the cool metal, forcing himself to think only of the edge of the deadly weapon. It took his mind off of the yelling going on in his living room. He heard footsteps pound down the hallway, pausing in Hitomi's room. He heard them stamp back to the living room.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" he heard Hitomi demand. Dilandau smirked softly, guess he didn't need his favour from Celena after all. In fact, he thought softly, gazing lovingly down his blade, he couldn't have planned this better himself. It was nice how Van was an immature monarch who'd unwillingly played right into his hands. Nice to know he could actually win.

It got quiet for a long moment. Dilandau dared to venture down the hallway, curious as to what was going on, his sword forgotten in his hands. He came upon the sight of Hitomi and Van hugging each other tightly, as if life depended on it. He sighed, so much for playing into his hands. He shrugged, there was always next year. Or the year after. He'd win eventually. He had too really.

It was rather inconvenient then that Van just happened to catch sight of him while he was inappropriately carrying a sword. He cursed his luck. Was he going to do anything right that day?

"But you," he heard Van say, in a considerably calmer voice. "You, I have issues with." Van stared at him, caught guiltily with a sword in his hands.

"I was cleaning it." Dilandau explained quickly.

"Yeah, right." Van replied, drawing his own sword and taking a run.

Dilandau stared at his opponent. He'd barely had time to bring his sword up to block the blow. "That could have killed me." He said a little shocked.

"Would that have been a bad thing?" Van replied.

Hitomi's head swam. Hadn't things just been ok again? Now Van was starting a swordfight in the living room. She stared flatly for a moment as Van's words hit her.

"Yes!" Dilandau growled, his voice carried by Hitomi's.

Both men turned their attention on Hitomi. "What?"

Hitomi stomped her foot. "This is ridiculous! Van, Dilandau is my best friend. Dilandau, Van is my fiancé. Now stop fighting in my living room!"

Dilandau immediately dropped his sword. Even though it was technically his living room, he wasn't about to argue with Hitomi when she looked like this. The green fire in her eyes was burning even brighter than when she had lunged at him from the door.

Van, however, did not seem to take so well to taking orders. "I'm going out for a walk." He replied coldly.

"Not carrying a sword you won't." Hitomi retorted.

"And who's going to stop me?" Van growled back.

"I will." Hitomi replied, lunging for the sword at Dilandau's feet. Dilandau backed away from the girl. She could be deadly with a sword. He knew, he'd taught her how to be.

Van stared at his fiancé in shock. His shock was amplified when her blade struck his own, sending it flying across the room, landing with a soft thud in a carpeted corner. "Now you can go." Hitomi said softly.

"I thought Celena gave up teaching you how to use a sword?" Van said softly, with baited breathe. Hitomi was still holding her sword after all.

"She did." Hitomi said softly. "Dilandau's teaching me."

Dilandau rolled his eyes. Yes, please drag me back into this again, he thought softly. But to his relief, Van stalked out the door instead, slamming it behind him as only his spoiled majesty could.

The second the door closed Hitomi crumpled in on herself with a sob.

* * *

(To be continued) 

_So… whatcha all think? I need reviews so I can plan out how all this delightful mess will work itself out. grins evilly_


	31. Chapter 31

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Chapter 31: Equivalent To Your Worth_

Dilandau sat uncomfortably on the couch, Hitomi's head lying in its usual spot. In any other situation, he'd be more than happy to sit here, her head on his lap; but in this case, there was the high likelihood of an angry Van storming back into the apartment at any moment. And his sword still lay on the carpet in the corner where it has fallen earlier. And Dilandau rather liked being in one piece.

He glanced down nervously at Hitomi. She seemed a little dead to the world, her tears finally having stopped, but the faint traces of tear tracks still lingering on her face. After a long moment, her eyes focused on his. Dilandau felt her sigh heavily. "Dilandau?" she murmured softly. "What am I supposed to do? I don't understand what he wants or expects from me."

Dilandau shifted awkwardly. "I don't know what to tell you, 'Tomi." He said softly. "I'd never change a thing about you," he paused, quickly adding, "But then I'm your friend, not your lover. Maybe love makes its necessary to make compromises."

"But what if I don't want to make compromises?" Hitomi whispered hoarsely. Dilandau winced at the tone in her voice. It was the ragged sound of a woman torn up inside; the sound of a woman discovering the bitter taste that is her own strength.

* * *

Van opened the door quietly, surprised it was unlocked. He felt horrible. He'd yelled at Hitomi. Hell, he'd crossed swords with her! The girl he loved. The woman he wanted to make his queen. He hung his head, preparing to humble himself before her. He'd acted rashly, and deserved to beg for her forgiveness. 

He paused, his hand still holding the door. "What if I don't want to make compromises?" He heard Hitomi's voice float into the hallway. He froze at the bitterness in her voice. He closed the door softly, unwilling to make any sound that might interrupt.

"Dilandau, I don't know what I want any more. I thought that all I wanted and needed in this life was Van. And… now I'm not so sure." Van gulped softly; surely she wasn't saying what he thought she was? "Maybe I should have just stayed in Fanelia after high school. Maybe then I wouldn't feel this way."

Van twitched slightly at the sound of Dilandau's voice. "But what if you always felt these things deep down and it's just taken all this time for them to come out? Would it have been better to find out that you're feelings aren't actually so sure after you'd married him?"

"I don't know. Maybe not." Hitomi sighed heavily. "It's just that with all my classes; the things I'm learning about… I'm not even sure I actually agree with the system of monarchy. And I can't even stomach the thought of people not being able to read and write, or of women not having equal rights."

Van sucked in a breath. This was far too much information to be hearing so suddenly.

"And what about me?" He heard Hitomi continue. "Aside from that random guy and Allen – if he even counts - I've never kissed anyone but Van. I've never really been on a date! I can't even relate to other girls here."

Van stood numbly in the hallway, as he listened to Dilandau's response. "Well… dates are rather overrated really. And you don't want one of the silly relationships other girls have. They manage to make everything so meaningless." Van stared at a nearby wall in shock. Was Dilandau sticking up for him, albeit indirectly?

"Dilly – not every relationship is like the one you had with Aiko! Besides…"

"Besides what?" Dilandau asked softly.

"I've never slept with anyone but Van. I'm not sure I can imagine living my whole life having only slept with one man." Van froze in shock. He let himself lean against a wall and slide numbly to the floor. He rested his head in his hands. This was all far too much. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to hear at all. He'd rather not know that Hitomi wondered… about other guys.

"Pfft. It's overrated." He heard Dilandau interrupt her. For the first time ever, he found himself thanking Dilandau. "And it doesn't really mean much when you don't love the one you're with." Van raised his head, was there a hint of remorse in Dilandau's voice?

"Trust me, you don't want to throw away something wonderful just so you can say you had a few good nights in bed with someone else. It couldn't be worth it."

"Couldn't be?" Hitomi whispered softly.

"I've never been in love and loved back the way you and Van are." Van stared into the dark in the hallway. He shook his head, why the hell was Dilandau standing up for him? He paused in his thoughts, had there been a hint of bitterness to Dilandau's voice in that last line. Van sat quietly, deep in contemplation. Was it possible… that Dilandau was saying what he was… to protect Hitomi?

Van stiffened suddenly. Dilandau was in love with Hitomi. He shook his head fiercely at the thought. Great, so his fiancé was debating the worth of their relationship, was wondering what it would be like to be with other guys, and was living with a guy who was in love with her. Could things get worse?

He sat silently in the dark for a long time. Oddly enough neither Hitomi nor Dilandau had said anything more after that. A sudden creak brought him back into the real world. He rose to his feet stealthily. He clung to the shadows and watched as Dilandau left the living room, carrying a sleeping Hitomi in his arms.

He followed the pale haired man as he brought Hitomi to her room. He watched as Dilandau gave the door a gentle nudge with his foot and walked into the dark room. He stood in the doorway, silently watching Dilandau place Hitomi gently on her bed, in what were obviously practiced movements. He watched him tuck a blanket in around the slender girl. He took in the hand that barely touched her face, pushing her hair from her face. He caught the intense, pained look on Dilandau's face as he stepped away from the sleeping form. His stormy eyes met shocked red ones in the darkness.

"You love her." Van said softly in the dark. It was an accusation, and a thinly veiled threat.

"So do you." Dilandau replied back silkily, stepping out of the room.

Van glared him angrily, ready to attack his longtime nemesis with words since his sword was still wherever Hitomi had left it.

"But she loves you."

Van took an involuntary step back and blinked. "What?"

"It doesn't matter if I love her, she loves you. It was your name she murmured in her sleep. It's always your name." Van stared in surprise at Dilandau. He looked broken. Van took another step back. He watched as Dilandau turned around and began to head down the hallway to his room.

In an instant, Van realized that Dilandau really had nothing. And he was the reason why. He'd taken the man's only friends in the Dragon Slayers, and Celena. And even if Dilandau loved Hitomi, she was his as well. Suddenly Van felt a sickening weight in his stomach as guilt crushed in on him. The only thing that was Dilandau's was this life he'd made for himself here on Earth, and here he was, King Van, trampling all over it again.

"Dilandau?" He heard himself say softly in the dark. He saw Dilandau pause; unsurprised at the fact he didn't turn around. "Thank you."

At that Dilandau spun around, staring in confusion.

"Thank you for being here for Hitomi. I know she thinks of you as her best friend. I can't actually think of anyone I would rather her be here with." He was shocked, as he said the words, when he realized that he meant it. Dilandau would protect her when he couldn't. And he loved her enough to think only of her happiness. Van wasn't sure he could do the same if he had been in Dilandau's place.

"I should've believed Celena more when she said you had changed." He said softly. "You have an amazing person in her you know."

"Celena?" He heard Dilandau whisper softly.

"She really cares about you. She gets worried sometimes too." With that Van stepped into Hitomi's darkened room.

Dilandau stood in the hallway for a long moment, shocked by what had just transpired.

* * *

The next day he sat in the living room, watching television. Or rather, he was pretending to watch television. Really Dilandau was listening to Hitomi attempt to describe democracy to Van. "But a bunch of countries actually have both an elected government as well as the traditional monarchy." 

"But why?" Van said impatiently. "If you have a royal family, what do they do if they don't rule the country."

"Act as a figurehead." Dilandau interjected. "Provide comic relief. Take up space in the tabloids."

"Dilandau!" Hitomi glared at him. "You're really not helping!"

Dilandau shrugged. "Personally I think Fanel would provide great comic relief."

"Stay out of this Dilandau." Van growled, almost regretting his somewhat kind words the night before.

"What is it Van?" Dilandau sneered. "I'm just sitting on my couch, in my apartment, watching the cable I pay for..."

'Stop acting like a jerk.'

_Celena! You promised you'd have Fanel out of my life!_

'And here I am.'

* * *

Celena shook her head impatiently, hoping Dilandau would appreciate this. He really had no idea what she'd put on the line for him this time. If she ever got found out... she smothered a smirk. All the same, she'd done well. 

She'd ridden out to a nearby town – a small village on the outskirts in fact, where they'd been having a town meeting. Dressed in a man's clothes, a cloak covering most of her face, she'd made the innocuous suggestion of educating the children – after all, why should the big shots in the palace be the only ones who could read?

She grinned, glancing out the window. This one should really impress Hitomi she thought, a riot demanding a school!

* * *

_A school? A riot demanding a school? How unlikely is that, Celena?_ Dilandau growled. 

'I'm sure Hitomi will be pleased with the thought though.' Celena had replied silkily – a manner she'd picked up from Dilandau himself.

Grudgingly Dilandau passed on the message. And sure enough, within an hour Fanel was out of his apartment. And Hitomi had stars in her eyes, utterly thrilled and impressed that building and staffing schools was the latest addition to the Fanelian agenda. Dilandau flipped the channels on the television morosely. Was he ever going to win?

* * *

Dilandau stomped into work on Monday, his mood darker than the night sky. April was only a week away, which of course meant that Hitomi would be leaving for several months in just a few weeks. He scowled as his computer booted up and a memo popped into his email inbox. 

Dilandau Albatou – Please report to VP Doug Katkin's office when you get in.

Dilandau growled. Where the hell and who the hell was Doug Katkin?

Still in a venomous mood, Dilandau stalked down the hallway of the fortieth floor. Vice President or not, this guy had a lot of nerve to order him around. As he passed by a window, Dilandau noted that at this height, looking out the window reminded him vaguely of the Vione. Calmed slightly by the similarity, Dilandau pulled together some suaveness as he entered the stately office. Obviously he was wanted by the Vice President of Acquisitions for some reason.

He greeted the secretary and she ushered him into the main office quickly, saying Doug had been expecting him. He stood a little flustered, when he found himself in an office willed with polished wood. "Mr. Katkin?" He inquired.

The chair behind the solid mahongany desk spun suddenly, revealing a grandfatherly old man with a warm smile on his face. Dilandau was momentarily taken aback. Somehow he'd expected the ruthless VP in charge of taking over other companies to look a little more… ruthless.

"Ahh, Albatou. I've heard so many good things about you. Sit down, sit down please." The older man waved his hand lazily in the direction of the chair before him. Dilandau sank into the leather chair comfortably. Good things, eh?

"You know, when I first saw the new commercials coming out of advertising I was a little shocked. I couldn't believe the saps down there had the guts to pull on the heartstrings and insecurities of preteens." He smiled at Dilandau. "You know what really couldn't get over?"

Dilandau shook his head. "What, sir?"

The elderly man leaned forward over the desk slightly. "Do you know what my little eight year old granddaughter asked me to get her for Christmas?"

"No, sir," Dilandau replied, slowly catching on to the man's mildly manipulative ways.

"A miniskirt! Ten degrees below outside and she wants a miniskirt!" The older man chuckled heartily. "Do you know what I call that?"

"No, sir." Dilandau replied, a smirk pulling its way onto his lips.

The older man looked him in the eyes. "I call it genius, son. And that's why I want you working for me. A man with the skill to manipulate, the ruthlessness to do it without any qualms, and the suaveness to pull it off right under their noses – that's what you are. And that's what I need in my department."

"What is the compensation like?" Dilandau asked smoothly. Finally he was on equal footing.

"Equivalent to what you're worth." The older man picked up a pen and scratched a number onto a slip of paper beside him. He handed the slip of paper to Dilandau.

Dilandau did everything he could to prevent his jaw from dropping. He was fairly certain he'd never expected to make that much money off of a high school diploma. "When do I start?" He asked eagerly.

"You don't even know what the job is yet." The older man smirked.

Dilandau stared the man in the eye. "I can take anything."

"In that case, if you don't mind, I could use you tomorrow."

Dilandau took another look at the slip of paper in his hand. Tomorrow might actually be good.

* * *

_Teehee. So Dilly is moving to acquisitions. I figure hostile takeover just suits him well. :P_

_Sorry it's a bit short – I figured it's been so long since the last update I had better just get something out. I hope you all like it!! Next time… Hitomi gets drunk! Again!_


	32. Chapter 32

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Sorry it's taken so long to update! Between midterms and the insanity of life, it's been tricky to find time to write… But never fear, the story will go on!_

* * *

****

**_Chapter 32: One More Dance_**

Van sighed heavily, his brow creased with a tense worry. He raised a hand to massage his temples; he hated how much his head hurt right now. He looked down at the new bill that sat on his desk, mandating the creation of schools in Fanelia. He wished that was what was causing his headache.

Instead, Hitomi's voice swirled around in his head. He wasn't sure he could ever forget those words he'd overheard her say to Dilandau – that she wanted to kiss another man, to… to spend the night with another man. He couldn't even think the thought through. Wearily he rose and stood by the window in his study. His eyes fell momentarily on the great blue-green orb that filled his skies, but when it just served to remind him of Hitomi's words again, he let his gaze fall.

He was thankful she didn't know he'd overheard. On the other hand, he wished he knew if she really felt that way. If that was what she really wanted, would he be in the right to stand in her way? He shook his head; the thought was just too much. She'd agreed to marry him! And he was a king. Why should she want for anything? His gaze fell on a solitary figure, gracefully moving in the moonlight.

He watched Celena running through her attacks, her sword shining silver in the moonlight. She looked dangerous, but beautiful. Like a tiger, or some other fierce jungle cat – lithe and terrifying. He was rather surprised when her gaze rose and fell on him, standing at the second floor window just above her. He watched her sheathe her sword in surprise, and disappear from the garden.

He turned from the window, momentarily disappointed. Something in Celena's movements had reminded him of what now seemed so long ago: a world in which he did things beyond merely signing treaties and treatises and bills. He would never admit to liking bloodshed, but he couldn't deny that there were times he desperately missed how simple life had seemed then.

His started when the door to his study creaked open slightly, admitting Celena's lithe form. She paused, gazing at him lightly, a faint smile on her lips. "You looked lonely." She said softly, in explanation. "I hope I'm not intruding?"

Van shook his head. "I could use the company."

He watched Celena shake her head gently, her eyes laughing in the dim light of the darkened room. "It's Hitomi again isn't it?"

He sighed then, slumping into his chair. "Am I really that obvious?"

Celena laughed softly. "Only Hitomi can get under your skin like this. Everyone else you keep at arms length, refusing to let them get to you." Her smile widened slightly. "Its not a bad thing. It shows how much you love her."

"But does she really love me?" Van whispered morosely.

Celena stared at him for a long moment. "Of course she does! Would she be marrying you if she didn't love you?"

"But what if she no longer wants to marry me?" Van wished he could stop the words falling from his lips, but they stubbornly refused to stay in his head. It felt so freeing to have someone to confide in, someone who wouldn't immediately dismiss Hitomi and start trying to suggest someone to take her place.

Van watched Celena bite her lip. He wondered if she was questioning his insecurities. He knew it was rather unkingly to confide this freely, but he needed someone to tell him everything was going to work out. He frowned slightly when Celena whispered hoarsely, "What could Hitomi have said to make you think that?"

He fidgeted awkwardly in his chair, suddenly it seemed less comfortable. He bolted back to standing by the window. "She said…well, I overheard her saying… that she wondered what it was like to kiss another man."

He stared at Celena in astonishment when she started laughing. "You're worried about that?" She said, smothering her laughter. "Van, think about how little she has to compare you to – Allen, and some guy she didn't even catch the name of. It's not surprising she wonders. Its just natural curiosity, it doesn't mean she's going to run off with someone else."

Van glared at Celena momentarily. "She also said she wondered what it was like to sleep with another man." He replied flatly.

"Oh." Celena's laughter died immediately. She shuffled a foot softly, leather scuffing the stone floor. "Well, remember that she lives in a different world from us, Van. They take things… more lightly there. Its probably just as natural a curiosity as wondering what kissing is like."

Van turned to Celena, "Thank you for trying to make me feel better." He said softly, his dark eyes gazing sadly into her own. He was rather astonished when Celena crossed the room silently and wrapped her arms around him for a brief moment.

"You'll be alright. Everything will work out in the end. You and Hitomi are like a fairy tale, I know you'll have your happy ending."

As Celena left the room, Van could still feel the ghost of her bare arms on his. He stared at her retreating form. How could she be so sure fairy tales came true? He sighed, maybe deep down she was only a hopeless romantic like her brother.

* * *

Hitomi stood awkwardly in front of her mirror. She tugged at the jacket she wore over the cute tank top she'd decided to wear to the party. She sighed, sinking onto her bed. She sprawled out upon her covers, glad she hadn't put her heels on yet. She snuggled deeper into a pillow. It had been such a long week: three exams in five days, with her last one just that Friday morning. She stretched leisurely; Sunday she was returning to Gaea for several months – her treasured summer break before the track season started up again.

She groaned, so why was she going to this party again? She pulled her pillow over her head. Even if the party was in honour of Dilly, she still didn't feel in a party mood. She gazed blurrily at her alarm clock. Eight o'clock and the bus came at quarter after. She shook her head, Dilandau had gone straight from work with his new work buddies (read minions, from what she understood), leaving her to find this party on her own. She rose stiffly from the bed. She wasn't even sure she felt entirely well; maybe exhaustion was catching up with her. She paused, slipping on her heels, maybe she could skip the party and he wouldn't notice. She thought for a moment, remembering the pleading look in his eyes when he'd asked her to come.

Moments later, Hitomi found herself in the damp darkness of a late-April evening. She took a deep breathe, it couldn't be so bad. After all, this party was being held at a nightclub, not just some one's house. And most of the attendees were business people who already had their degrees – surely they wouldn't act as wild as teenagers newly free from home?

* * *

Dilandau stalked the dark room, loud music and bright lights pulsating in time. He brushed passed his so called co-workers, wondering if Hitomi had arrived yet. He smirked in the dark of the room. Life was finally coming closer to his ideal. Far from his old job, in this new position he actually controlled the fates of an entire team of people. Seven people in fact, seven people who researched small companies that offered services similar to anything owned by the parent company that paid their wages. And when they found something useful, Dilandau would put in an appearance. Tonight's party was in fact in honour of his first "hostile" takeover. The first company he'd approached had been a small family-run show, he remembered how their mouths had gaped when he waved them a cheque with the lowest amount his company would be willing to buy them out for. That had of course gone ever so smoothly after that.

The second company had been a bit trickier: again, a small business, but this time run jointly by two college buddies who'd dreamed up the idea while sharing a dorm room. They were much more stubborn about surrendering their company. Dilandau smiled wickedly, it was such a pity their wives had no such attachment to it. They had quickly been intrigued by the offer Dilandau had asked them to "pass on" to their husbands as he'd been "unable to reach them". It was amazing how much control women actually had in relationships.

He frowned slightly, but this third company… they'd resisted him entirely. He'd been left with no choice but to expose several faults in the legal aspects of the business. He smirked, it wasn't entirely like wielding a flamethrower and torching a country, but forcing people to sell out was nearly as empowering. He smirked, hero of the hour to this bunch. He shrugged; it felt nice to be really useful again.

He prowled around the night club again, growing just slightly impatient. It was after ten and Hitomi was nowhere to be seen. He paused, could something have happened to her on her way here? His smirk vanished nearly instantly. If something had happened to her he'd never forgive himself. He knew he should have gone back to the apartment to pick her up. She'd even made him promise that he would keep an eye on her tonight to ensure no repeats of her last party-going experience.

He glared around the room, frustration growing. He stalked over to the bar, deciding that it was about time for a drink. Maybe then the flashing lights and blaring music would seem more bearable. "Rum and coke." He directed the bartender, quickly raising the glass to his lips. In the action he noticed the girl sitting several feet down the bar from him. "Hitomi?" He asked softly, lowering the glass. "I've been looking for you everywhere! When did you get here?"

He watched Hitomi shrugged and slid off her stool, sashaying to his side. He looked at her sideways, Hitomi did not sashay, and it simply wasn't her. Which could only mean… he sighed. "How many drinks have you had?"

"Not that many." She replied, her words not slurred, but layered nonetheless with the uncontained amusement alcohol induced in her. "C'mon, you made me come. You better dance with me."

Dilandau stared after her with amusement on his own features. Maybe a few drinks weren't all that bad for her…

* * *

Several hours later Dilandau was more or less supporting Hitomi's weight. It wasn't that she was unconscious, he'd just never seen her in a state like this. One second she'd be high as a kite, and the next she'd be melancholy. He shook his head, worried that someone may have slipped something into one of her drinks. "C'mon, one more dance?" She whispered into his ear.

Dilandau stilled. He really wished she would stop doing that. This would be the third time that night she'd pulled this stunt. It was as if in her intoxicated state she could read him, even though when sober she never seemed to notice his attraction to her. He hated, and loved, the feeling of her lips near his ear, her breathe, laced with the sweet alcohol scent of too many fruit-flavoured martinis, hot against his neck. It made him feel far too weak. "No." He said firmly. "It's nearly two in the morning, we're getting you home."

He rolled his eyes slightly at the pout she gave him. "Tony," she whined at one of his underlings, "If you were out with me would you make me go home now too?"

He sent a glare at the man that promised he would roast if he didn't answer in a manner Dilandau would approve. "I… umm… well, Hitomi… I…" The man stuttered, terrified of his new boss. It was already being said that the only person in the department more ruthless than Dilandau was the old man in charge himself.

Dilandau nodded, a faint smile on his lips. "See 'Tomi? Time to go." He dragged her, still protesting through the throngs of people still dancing in the club. He pushed them both into the cool night air. He noticed then that at some point Hitomi's jacket had been left behind. He sighed, "Did you leave your jacket at coat check?"

Behind chattering teeth, Hitomi shook her head. "It was closed."

Dilandau shook his head, pulling his jacket from his shoulders and draping it over her own. "Here, you need this more than I do."

"Thank you, Dilly." He flinched when she grabbed hold of his arm and drew herself as close to him as she could. "It's so chilly." He looked at her, teeth still chattering and sighed, wrapping his arm around her body and pulling her close. He was just thankful Van was back on Gaea, worrying about his precious little country.

As they walked from the bus stop to their apartment, Dilandau sighed softly. He was enjoying the feeling of his arm wrapped around Hitomi. And in her intoxication, she was clinging to him. He paused, fiddling with the keys to the building, Hitomi leaning against him. He was surprised to find that in the time it took for him to locate the right key and open the door, she seemed to have passed out against his chest. He shook his head, scooping her up into his arms in the same manner he carried her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch.

He nudged open the door to Hitomi's room, thankful that tonight had turned out as well as it had. Admittedly, Hitomi was still drunk, but at least she hadn't done anything she'd regret. He tucked her tenderly into bed, pulling her covers up. He stood over her for a long moment. He bit his lip softly. She looked beautiful in the moonlight that poured in through her bedroom window; her hair a tousled mess around her tanned face. He gently brushed a stray strand away from her lips. They were so tempting. He sighed softly, he would never do that to her though.

"Dilandau?" He watched those perfect lips part slightly, mesmerized so that he didn't notice her hand grabbing ahold of his until she was pulling him onto her bed with her.

"Hitomi." He whispered hoarsely, resisting her pull. There was no way he'd let her do anything she'd regret. She hate him forever.

He watched her emerald eyes open to meet his. She sat up slightly, refusing to let go of his hand. "I want you to kiss me."

Dilandau stared at her for a very long moment. "You want… what?"

"You. To kiss me." She said softly, amusement on her features. "So many nights you carry me to bed, and then you just stare at me. Don't tell me you don't want to."

Dilandau sighed, realizing suddenly that Hitomi was still drunk. For a moment he'd thought it was possible she might actually mean it. "I don't think so 'Tomi. You're engaged remember? I'm just your friend."

He was shocked when Hitomi pulled him forward suddenly, catching his lips softly against her's. He pulled back nearly instantly, but the touch of her lips against his burned away all reason. He leaned forward, brushing his lips across her's. How he yearned for this, for her. Slowly he deepened the kiss. He wanted to kiss her so that she'd never forget this kiss. If he couldn't have her, couldn't he at least have a kiss? He pulled away suddenly. What was he thinking? "Goodnight Hitomi." He breathed, rushing out of the room.

In the sanctuary of his own room he sat defeated in the dark, his head cradled in his hands. What had he done?

He spent the night frantically thinking up excuses, apologies, speeches begging forgiveness, anything he could tell Hitomi in the morning to make up for this. But he couldn't forget the sweet taste of her mouth, the soft silk of her lips. He hated it for feeling so very right.

He started breakfast early, and was already on his third cup of coffee by the time Hitomi emerged from her room. He watched her stumble to the bathroom, listened to the sound of water running, all the while tortured by thoughts and the antsy feeling caffeine gives you when you haven't slept.

He tensed when Hitomi walked into the room. She yawned, grabbing a piece of toast. He watched her settle onto a chair across from him. "Goodmorning." She said congenially. "I thought you said you weren't going to let me drink as much last night?"

Dilandau felt his mouth drop momentarily. Was it possible she didn't remember their kiss at all? Part of him crumbled. Was he that forgettable? Another part of him breathed a sigh of relief. He'd worried for nothing.

Breakfast passed uneventfully until he began to clear up the dishes. "Dilly?" He heard Hitomi ask as he stacked dishes into the dishwasher in the kitchen. "Did I kiss anyone last night?"

Dilandau stilled, thankful Hitomi was in the other room and couldn't see his reaction. "No." He called out across the empty air. He couldn't exactly tell her that they'd shared the most breathtaking kiss of his life and then send her off packing to her fiancé could he? Most likely she'd blame herself… after all, she'd been the one to kiss him first. If she remembered anything, maybe it was better she think of it all as a dream. "Maybe you just had a dream?"

In the next room Hitomi sat quietly, playing with a strand of hair. "Maybe." She whispered softly, just a hint of sadness, or perhaps regret, playing across her softened features. "If it was," she whispered just under her breathe, "I wonder what kissing you is really like."

* * *

_Feel free to beat me or love me as you will. Send me reviews to make me smile! I'm going to try to get another update out by this weekend as well – I'm not sure how many chances I'll get to write next week – another midterm and my 20th b-day, so I might be busy… :P Love you all!_


	33. Chapter 33

**_What happens when it fades?  
_**

_Hey Everyone! Sorry it's been so long since the last update! It's been absolutely crazy here and I've been so busy... it makes me sad cause I've had several great ideas, but no time to write. I originally had an ending planned out for this story, but I'm thinking of changing it now. I'm reconsidering my storyline. Let me know what you think of this chapter... its a bit short, and some of you might not entirely like it... but I hope its up to your standards:P_

* * *

**_Chapter 33: Do you care?_**

Hitomi sat idly on a green grassy hilltop overlooking Fanelia's capital city. She smiled softly, Fanelia's only city really. In fact, it could barely pass for that; it was more like a large town, attended by tiny villages and hamlets. It was refreshing really after the crowded streets of Tokyo. She twirled a flower between her fingers. It was also a little bit boring, but she'd never tell Van that.

Right now she was evading the advisors who insisted on "teaching" her. As if going to school for most of the year wasn't enough, now she had to learn proper court etiquette, names and genealogies of other royal families, Gaean history, proper dancing, and the list went on. She sighed softly, her eyes straying up into the blue afternoon sky. She watched several birds dance across the skyscape and wondered idly what was going on back home. She shook her head softly, pulling herself out of her reverie. She should probably be getting back, there was supposed to be a fancy dinner tonight, some duke from an outer province of a larger neighbouring country or some such thing.

The thing that really irked her was that she hadn't even gotten to choose her own clothing. Admittedly, the advisors had picked a lovely dress, in a deep emerald colour that suited her well. But it had big long poufy skirts she couldn't see the point in. She sighed, she'd always figured she'd look better in shorter or even slinkier dresses. On the other hand, she was to be a queen, and here they would probably interpret even the most decent slinky dress as a crime against propriety. Her lips twitched slightly, remembering the reactions she'd gotten to her short skirt the first time she'd been on Gaea.

Grudgingly she pulled herself up from the hillside. She breathed deeply. This was one thing she adored about Fanelia – the air was clean and sweet. A single breathe of it and you felt more alive. She sighed, preparing herself for the run back to the palace; all these lessons were seriously cutting into her running time. She nibbled her lip softly, if she didn't get more time to practise she could potentially lose her place on the track team when she got back. She shrugged, breathing deep and thinking more positive thoughts.

* * *

Van sat stiffly at the table, pretending to be interested in the Duke's rather dull talk about the profitability of potatoes. He held back the urge to roll his eyes, all day he dealt with similar issues, why did important people feel the need to talk about the boring aspects of ruling a country during their free time? They could be talking about anything else, and they always fell back on some aspect of trade. He dared a glance over at Hitomi. She looked lovely tonight. Her dress matched her eyes, and seemed to make her glow. He sighed softly; he just wished she didn't look so awkward and uncomfortable.

He then noticed her wine glass. She would patiently take small sips, but she was sipping constantly. And the more she sipped, the more she began chatting softly with the Duke's wife who sat by her side. He shook his head, realizing suddenly what the problem here was: every time she turned her head to say something especially amusing to the Duchess, her cup would be refilled. He stared for a long moment. She probably thought she was still on her first glass. He twitched slightly, remembering a similar occasion during her original visit to Gaea. He just hoped she'd ceased to get so giddy.

The meal dragged on and much to Van's relief the Duke finally ran out of things to say about potatoes. Unfortunately, that's when Hitomi started to speak louder.

"Really, it's a wonderful place. The cities are so huge, you couldn't even imagine them. There's nothing even comparable to them here on Gaea. There are buildings taller than the tallest trees, all glass and steel and light." Hitomi said softly, her face flushed from the wine, and the shock of having everyone's attention. "And we get around in cars and trains and they all go so much faster than anything here. Even the airships you have can't travel as fast as some of the airplanes we have."

Van found himself glaring slightly at his guests. The Duke and Duchess seemed enraptured with Hitomi's stories. Personally, he'd found nothing all that loveable about Hitomi's Japan. It had been crowded and busy and the air had been nearly too thick to breathe. He shifted his gaze to Hitomi. Her voice was growing more and more animated. Why couldn't she speak about Fanelia like that? What made the "Mystic Moon" so much more special?

He sank into his chair, praying to whatever gods he could think of that this would be over soon. He was going out of his mind with boredom and irritation. Earth-this and earth-that, Japan and Tokyo were wonderful. Fine, he got that. He glared at Hitomi. Did she even realize she was flirting with the Duke? Did she not notice the Duchess getting slightly irked by this? He sighed, thanking the gods when the meal was over.

Though that somehow didn't manage to stop Hitomi's rambling on about Earth. Van glared around the room in frustration, whose decision had it been to include dancing in tonight? Couldn't they all just go to bed now?

He frowned slightly as the Duke pulled Hitomi into the first dance. He sighed, watching her fumble through the moves of the dance. It was a simple one, and she couldn't even get the steps right. He sighed, watching her pull her hands from the Duke's with sweet laughter and an apology, accepting a glass of champagne from a passing server instead. He rolled his eyes slightly. Yes, because she definitely needed another drink.

He suddenly found himself by her side for the first time that night. "Did you want to dance?" He heard himself ask her awkwardly. Mentally he hit himself. She was his fiancée and he still couldn't ask her to dance? On the other hand, he had spent the last several hours criticizing her as well. He pulled her close to him, he loved her. What was he doing being so critical? Suddenly he felt Hitomi press closer to him, having stumbled on a step. He heard her giggle, sensing immediately that it had been her intoxication that had caused the stumble.

"What are you doing?" He found himself hissing into her ear.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, a smile upon her face.

Van ground his teeth slightly. She looked so beautiful, part of him wanted nothing more than to kiss her and forget the world. He looked around the ballroom, noting the eyes that rested lightly upon himself and the girl in his arms. He just wished that she could also make him proud, instead of feeling oddly ashamed. Didn't she realize that the advisors were still trying to replace her? That she was being judged this very moment? "Why don't you talk about Fanelia at all?" He hissed into her ear. "Is it not good enough for you? Is it not good enough for you to even try to make a good impression?"

"Van," he heard that disappointed tone slip into her voice, "What do you mean? I was making a good impression. They wanted to hear about Earth, so I told them. I didn't need to talk about Fanelia…"

"And you're drunk." He continued, ignoring her soft excuses.

"I am not." She retorted. "This is nowhere near drunk."

"You can't even dance properly. You're completely leaning against me."

"I'm trying my best here!" Her tone had slid rapidly into one hardened by anger. "The way you dance is nothing like people dance on Earth, so it's a little hard to learn ok? Has it dawned on you that on earth people dance close to each other?"

"Has it dawned on you that you aren't on Earth?" He hissed back, stepping away from Hitomi. "You're in Fanelia, and you're in line to be queen. You could at least act like it!" He stomped off across the ballroom, headed for the balcony.

Hitomi sighed. What was going on tonight? First, there were the death glares all through supper and now he was hissing in her ear that she wasn't good enough. She sighed softly, was he falling out of love with her? She headed over to a chair by the door, sitting with a quiet thud. There was no point chasing after him until he cooled down a bit anyway.

A server passed her, silently offering a tray of champagne glasses to the future queen. Hitomi gazed at the tray in contemplation. Hesitantly she raised a hand, weighing the giddiness she felt against the frustration she was feeling at Van right now. Decisively she plucked two glasses off the tray. "This should be good for now." She smiled softly at the stunned sever.

* * *

She groaned slightly, sprawled across the bed in her room. It had been slightly embarrassing getting the server and one of the maids to help her up here. She'd left the ballroom when she started to feel the room spinning slightly, determined not to "embarrass" Van before his ever so important guests. The server had found her in one of the hallways outside the ballroom, leaning against the wall for support.

She was relieved though that the maid had brought her a glass of water, and hadn't looked strangely at her. In fact, she could just recall the young woman saying something about how it reminded her of her twentieth birthday celebration. Hitomi smiled softly, it was good to know that at least Van's people knew how to have a good time even if he himself had forgotten. She mused softly, had he ever known though?

She paused in her musings, her stomach churning slightly. She dragged herself off the bed and wobbled her way over to the bathroom that thankfully adjoined to her room. She smiled bitterly, an older memory playing softly in her mind. "So there's the toilet," she whispered softly, "But where's Dilly to help me out?"

She leaned her forehead against the cool porcelain. It was amusing how good it felt against her flushed face. She sighed softly. It would all be alright. A knock fell upon the bedroom door, and Hitomi's breathe caught in her throat. She listened to the door creak open. "Hitomi?" She heard Van's voice echo through her room.

"I'm ok." She said softly, hoping that he'd come to say sorry for acting like an idiot, and maybe he'd hold her hand and make her feel better. After all, it had felt so much better to have Dilandau beside her that one time, surely Van, the man who loved her would have a similar effect?

She smiled weakly up at him as he entered the doorway to the bathroom. "Are you alright?" He asked awkwardly, he eyes widening at the sight of her hugging the toilet.

"I'm ok. Just a little too much to drink. I always forget the wine is stronger here than on earth." She frowned slightly. Somehow Van's expression didn't look sympathetic. She sighed softly, he looked disgusted more than anything. And a little scared. She had a little warning before her stomach decided to divulge its contents to the toilet bowl. She felt tears prick softly at her eyes as she reached for a tissue to wipe her face.

She forced herself to look Van in the eyes. Now the only emotion she could read in him was disgust. A speck of anger and confusion flared up in her. "Why didn't you hand me a tissue?" She heard herself demand. "Why didn't you help me? Why are you just standing there?"

The words began to run away from her, and she gave into them. Perhaps whatever you say when you're drunk is how you really feel, in which case why even pretend you have control over it? "How can you say you love me when you don't seem to care half the time?" She demanded. "You want me to be someone I'm not. I don't know if you're scared people won't think I'm good enough, but it never bothered you before. It's like suddenly you've completely changed. Do I even know you anymore? Sometimes, sometimes Van, I wonder if we every really knew each other at all."

"You're drunk." He said flatly.

"What's your point?" She whispered, as the tears slipped from her eyes. "I don't even know if you care anymore."

* * *

Dilandau tapped his pen against the pad of paper softly. He watched the flickering images move across the television screen without really seeing them. He sighed, there was something so empty about his life when Hitomi wasn't around. He pulled himself into a stretch; at least she was probably happy where she was. Celena had mentioned something about a dinner and a dance. Hitomi was probably the life of the party, the charming companion to a king.

Dilandau gazed out the living room window, idly contemplating the moon. He really didn't have a much of a chance did he? Hitomi was so blinded by her love for Van she really couldn't see what a jerk he could be. Not that he himself couldn't also be a jerk, but at least he'd admit it, instead of pretending to always be in the right like the mighty and wonderful King Van. Dilandau shook his head softly, wishing Hitomi could see that sometimes there wasn't evil and good. That everyone had some of each. That what mattered most wasn't how horrible someone could be, but who they were being horrible too. He snorted, he was starting to sound sappy.

_Like it? Hate it? Let me know what you want to see..._


	34. Chapter 34

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Hi everyone! Yay for less of wait for this chapter than the last. :P Umm, a warning – this chapter is a little more introspective than the usual, and is rather melancholy. I'm really piling on the angst at the moment… it should float on back to mildly humorous next chapter. I hope you enjoy!_

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**_Chapter 34: If you can't have everything…_**

Celena stood silently outside the door to her friend's room. She shook her head sadly; she'd been away since nearly the first day Hitomi had arrived back on Gaea on some training mission Rorkin had concocted. Arriving now in nearly the dead of night, she had immediately sensed something was not quite right. Stealthily she had prowled the hallways, searching for anyone who might still be awake.

In a strange twist of fate she had found the maid who'd helped Hitomi earlier. Celena sighed softly; trust Van's stubborn temper to mess things up! The maid related to Celena the story she'd heard secondhand from the server, but Celena caught the real gist of it. Hitomi was homesick, and Van was acting insecure because of it.

Slowly, Celena opened Hitomi's bedroom door, unsurprised at seeing her friend passed out across her bed, still in the horribly fluffy dress they must have made her wear. Celena sat on the edge of the bed and smoothed Hitomi's hair back. "You poor thing," she whispered softly, "I know exactly how horrible it is to be told what to wear."

* * *

Hitomi woke slowly to a room that felt like it was still spinning. She turned on her side and closed her eyes, hoping that more sleep might erase the painful memory of Van's expression last night. The disgust and the pain his eyes had held reminded her now of a puppy who'd been kicked. Had she really hurt him so badly? But how, she wondered, how could she have hurt him simply by being herself?

Light was streaming against her eyes, making it impossible to return to sleep. Hitomi opened her eyes, catching sight of a figure silhouetted in her window by the rising sun. The first thing she caught sight of was the pale blonde ponytail, but she had to remind herself that here on Gaea that gave away nothing of a person's gender. She noted the pose with which the person held themselves, and the sword at their side. For a moment Hitomi wondered if it wasn't Allen, despite the hair being so much shorter than his. But then Allen was back in Austuria, his position as Knight Caeli restored now that Celena was no longer under his care.

The person turned, noticing Hitomi's wakefulness more than Hitomi did herself at the moment. Hitomi felt her lips twitch slightly. It was Celena, no wonder she'd been so reminded of Allen. After all, Celena was very nearly a knight now, her previous wild-spirited ways tempered by concepts of honour and dignity. This was why it was a little surprising when the girl flopped onto Hitomi's bed, handed Hitomi a glass of water, and began to rant about how stupid men were.

Hitomi stared at her friend in mild shock. "Celena?" She sat up slowly, accepting the glass of water and letting the cool liquid slip down her parched throat. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm finally home from that ridiculous little training adventure Rorkin insisted on taking me on. Personally, I'm of half a mind that he did it just to be alone with me, which is rather annoying, seeing as how I don't actually think of him that way anymore." Hitomi watched Celena with mild fascination. Behind the strict demeanor she'd begun to wear, here was the same Celena she'd met two years before, acting a different part for the world at large, but still acting.

"But what's this I hear about you and Van fighting?" Hitomi's eyes widened slightly at the question.

"Does everyone know already?" She asked, her voice a little high pitched.

"No," Celena murmured softly, "I just happened to run into the maid who helped you out last night. Though I notice she left you trapped in that obscenely poufy dress."

Hitomi smiled slightly. "I'm not a big fan of it either."

The last vestiges of morning slipped away and Celena ordered some food directly to Hitomi's room. The two girls had a lot to catch up on, and Hitomi had a hangover to kill, so it was just as well that they remained squirreled away in their opinion.

Celena sighed softly. "Do you still love him?" She asked finally, popping several grapes into her mouth, her eyes trained on Hitomi, waiting for an answer.

"I do." Whispered Hitomi softly, "But it's like there's something not right about any of this anymore. It's become so difficult just to talk to him, I wonder sometimes if what we have is really as strong as we always thought it was. It's almost as if… as if it's fading away." Hitomi let her eyes fall to the floor, unable to say any of this to Celena's face, afraid of any judgement she might see in her friend's eyes.

"To be honest, I'm not sure I want this life. I miss watching movies and my track training and even my stupid political systems classes. I hate all this etiquette and having people choose what I'm going to wear for me. For being the future queen, I feel like I have ten times the freedom back home where I'm just another struggling university student."

Celena nodded. "I've come to think that being royalty means you have less freedom than anyone else. If freedom is what you want…"

"And that's not even all of it!" Hitomi interrupted. "Celena, if you could only have seen Van's face when he looked at me last night. It was as if I'd done something horrible to him, and all I'd done was be me. If something so small as getting a little tipsy and talking about my home makes him disappointed in me… I just don't understand who or what he thinks I am. Or who he wants me to be." Hitomi could feel her eyes prick with tears. "Once I thought it was enough for us to just be ourselves, but now, now it's like being myself is wrong. I'm not sure I can live like this."

Celena stared at her friend. She had intended to talk Hitomi into giving Van another chance, and telling her that it would all work out in the end. After all, it was Van and Hitomi's love that had saved Gaea wasn't it? But now, looking at the tears streak their way down Hitomi's face… What if… what if no matter how strong love is, it's just not something made to last? What if it's almost a given that with time it fades away?

People change, and they learn and grow and begin to expect different things from their lives. Maybe once upon a time Hitomi and Van had been perfect for each other. But maybe that time was over. Not everything is necessarily made to last. Celena found herself holding Hitomi's hand, patting her shoulder absentmindedly. "I miss Dilandau." Hitomi sniffled. "I never realized how often he's there for me until this whole thing happened. I felt so incredibly alone last night."

Celena sighed softly, "I miss him too," she whispered. But maybe it was time for her to let him go. Obviously the result of relationships that span different worlds was sitting in front of her. She wasn't sure what she wanted exactly, but it wasn't tears and feeling like crap. She took a deep breathe. "Listen 'Tomi." She murmured softly. "Maybe all this hurt you're feeling is telling you something. Maybe the fact that you don't feel like you belong here is telling you something else as well." She watched Hitomi raise her tear-stained face to look her in the eyes.

"You're saying maybe one of the reasons I feel like I can't be queen is because maybe I don't really want to marry Van?"

Celena nodded her head slowly. "Maybe love isn't necessarily meant to last forever."

"So what do I do now?" Hitomi asked softly, wiping her tears with the back of her hands. "Where do I go from here?"

"Well," Celena began. "As far as I can tell, you have two choices. The first is to try to make things work with Van. Figure out a way for both of you to get what you want out of your relationship, and make it work. The other choice is if you don't think it's worth it to work things out. And that's that you end it. Both of you go through hell every time you're apart, and it's as if you've both gotten so used to it, you can't be happy when you're together either."

Hitomi looked at Celena with wide eyes. "I hate that you're right." she whispered.

* * *

Hitomi sat in the garden, the sun setting behind her. She was still contemplating what Celena has said, about love not necessarily lasting forever. She raised her eyes to her home above, the blues and greens of the globe that dominated the sky fascinating her. Had it only been two years since all this had begun? She twitched slightly, it was in this same garden, this same time of year that she had first told Van that there were things more important than love.

Had that perhaps been already the beginning of the end? Had the mere fact that she'd placed something above their relationship been what had seemingly doomed it? Had it been wrong of her to make that choice though? She found her head awash with questions that had no real answers. If she hadn't had made the choices she had she wouldn't be who she was. The only thing that really mattered now was where she went from here.

She found herself contemplating life as Fanelia's queen. Somehow she just couldn't see herself doing it. Day after day of being told what to wear and how to act, endless small talk with visiting dignitaries, the knowledge that one is being constantly watched and judged. She sighed, even on earth one would be watched and judged if they were in politics. On the other hand, she didn't want to be a politician.

She was starting to enjoy analyzing it though. She sighed, remembering her first week back on Gaea.Van had been trying to figure out a tricky trade negotiation and she'd offered her opinion on it, which as it turned out, completely contradicted what his advisors had suggested. Hitomi kicked a small pebble; he'd gone with his advisors' advice. This whole visit had become one long testament to how little Van trusted her opinion or judgment. She really couldn't see life as a queen if she was just going to be a pretty face by Van's side.

She sighed heavily, wondering exactly what it was she was supposed to do. She respected herself, and had high expectations. Whatever she did, she wanted it to mean something and she wanted to be taken seriously for it. For a long time she'd thought that here on Gaea was the place she would achieve that. Now she just wasn't sure anymore. She'd already had a professor of her's bring up the topic of her honour's thesis; Hitomi had been shocked, she'd figured she would slide through with just a major degree. To think that her professors thought her good enough to go on to do graduate work, to actually do something meaningful on earth… it changed things a little.

"Hitomi?" Van's voice shook her from her reverie, and her gaze fell from the stars above to the man who now stood before her. "I'm… sorry. I acted like an idiot. It's just that Fanelia means more to me than anything else. I want to be the best leader I can for my people…" He trailed off, unsure of what he was going to say next.

"And I'm embarrassing you?" Hitomi finished softly. She watched the moonlight play across Van's raven hair and wondered then if this was how it was going to end. The dragon and the girl from the mystic moon had become a king and a woman, and somehow things are never so simple or easy once they've changed.

Van shuffled his feet slightly. "A little, yes. You aren't exactly attentive to the lessons the advisors give you, and you disagree with them on almost everything. You act like Gaean customs are simply ridiculous to you. It's as if you don't really care."

"I do care." Hitomi said firmly. "But I care about being myself too. Your advisors want me to stop thinking for myself, and you haven't been too encouraging on that front either. They don't even let me choose what to wear for myself! You can't expect me to surrender my identity for a job. I'm me, Hitomi Kanzaki. I wasn't born a princess, and in reality, I will never be one." She took a deep breathe. "Van, once there was a time you loved me for who I was. Please be honest with me. Do you still love me for who I actually am?"

Hitomi watched Van's eyes darken slightly, "I'm not sure I even know who you are anymore, Hitomi." He replied softly, looking away, unable to meet her eyes.

Hitomi felt her eyes itch slightly, a warning that tears were not far behind. "Do you think our love has become a trap?" She found herself whispering into the darkening night.

"No," Van replied. "I think we just aren't trying hard enough to protect it."

Hitomi stared off into the trees. "Is it still worth protecting?"

She watched Van spin around, his face coming just inches from hers. "Hitomi, I can make the advisors lighten up a little, I can listen to you. I want you in my life. All I'm asking for is that you invest yourself more in Fanelia as it is. I don't want it to change, and half of the time you're coming up with ideas to improve it. Just, accept it for what it is, and we can make this work."

Hitomi listened to Van passionate response, but she felt as if he were far more distant than the mere inches between them. She felt a little cold, his emotions never really seemed to touch her somehow. He wanted her in his life, but on his own terms. If she was going to lead, she was going to change things: there would be equality, there would be free education, and there would be progress. If Fanelia didn't want those things… then maybe it didn't want her.

"Van," she said softly, raising her hand and placing it gently on his cheek. She looked deep into his desperate eyes, her heart felt like a stone in her chest, a heavy weight she could hardly bear. "Don't ask me to be someone I'm not." She knew from his eyes then, that it was over. Somehow, somewhere in the intervening years, they had grown up. And they had changed.

* * *

Celena stood on the balcony to her room. If she stood just on the farthest corner of it and peered at an angle, she could see the palace gardens. She watched two sad figures sitting beside each other, hands folded on their laps. They had been through so much together, and so much apart for the sake of them one day being together; it seemed a shame for it to have been for nothing really. Celena had hoped, that when Van had kneeled before Hitomi that she would fall into his embrace and everything would be like it had before, back when Dilandau had been a constant companion in her head, and Van and Hitomi's love had been a strange hope in her heart that one day she too would find her soul mate, or at least a kiss that would top all others.

She turned away from the sad figures, watching the feminine form slip something from her hand into the less delicate hands of the young king. She smiled weakly, a tear tracing its way down her cheek, mourning on behalf of Gaea the great love that could have been. 'Dilly?' She whispered in her mind, touching the mind that she knew less and less now.

_Celena?_

Celena paused, wondering if she should tell Dilandau what had happened. No, this was a story for Hitomi to tell him, between great wracking sobs of regret – regret for what might have been with Van, regret for what she had missed in waiting all those years for him. 'Nothing. I just wanted to say hi.'

_OK… umm, hi?_

Celena smiled faintly. 'I miss you, you know.'

_Really? I would have thought you'd be glad to have gotten rid of the annoying voice in your head that gave you nightmares at night, and tortured you with sarcasm throughout the day._

'I would have thought that too.' Celena replied wryly. 'I guess I'm a bit of a masochist at heart.' Laughter greeted her reply, and she sank into a comfortable conversation.

'So many things have changed.' She said softly.

_Things have to change, it's what makes life meaningful. If everything was always the same then what would be the point of living?_

'Getting philosophical in your new life?'

_You could say that. Or you could say I'm going insane from being alone in an apartment all weekend, leaving me far too much time with my thoughts._

Celena laughed softly, 'But things between us have changed so much too.'

_Yes_, Dilandau replied softly, _But I'll always think of you like my little sister. No matter what happens I'll always be here for you._

Celena sighed softly. A little sister? And here she'd been in love with him for years. She walked back out onto her balcony, spotting only one figure alone in the garden. A lonely king sat; his eyes on the blue-green moon that had broken his heart. Celena realized then that love came in many types. Perhaps romantic love didn't last forever, but friendship certainly could.

'Dilly? You know I love you right?'

_What?_ came a slightly shaken reply. She smiled then, a bright true smile. So he hadn't known how to interpret that after all.

'You're my best friend Dilandau. Remember I'll always be here for you too.'

Celena gazed out into the night. It was still, and quiet except for the hooting of a far off owl. Even if you can't have everything, she thought softly, at least you can have something.

* * *

_I am so, so sorry V/H lovers. In another story they would have worked out, in fact, in several thousand other stories they work out. But not this one. I would love comments and reviews and even flames can be taken – but please, no one ask me to make this story V/H anymore. They'll get a beautiful goodbye, I promise at least that._


	35. Chapter 35

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Hey Everyone! OK, so this chapter is a little different from others. First off, it's a bit of a songfic… it's just a one time thing, because this song really fits so well (History, by Funeral for a Friend). Secondly, you're gonna notice the chapter is really fractured into a series of moments, rather than any continuous narrative. I kinda feel like it will convey the mood of this chapter better. It is after all, a chapter of endings… and new beginnings._

* * *

_**Chapter 34: Fractured Moments, or Your History Is Mine**_

Hitomi closed the door to the bedroom behind her and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall that had been blurring her sight since she'd made her decision in the garden. Pulling the engagement ring from her finger had been one of the most painful things she'd ever done. Placing it into Van's hand had such finality. Hitomi let her body slide to the floor in the darkened room. She wasn't sorry for her decision, but maybe that was one of the reasons why this all hurt so much.

_Dear friends of this academy  
Oh, Romeo is bleeding to death_

Van sat frozen in the garden. He hadn't moved since Hitomi placed the ring into his hands, except to let his head fall into his open palms. His head spun strangely. Why did he feel like the world was perhaps ending a little bit? He sighed heavily; perhaps he should have done something differently. Perhaps he should have done a lot of somethings differently. Not that it mattered now.

He struggled to comprehend what had happened exactly, where things had gone wrong. Had it been when Hitomi had arrived even? He hadn't been able to meet her when she got to Gaea; stuck in a meeting instead. Was it that first hug that they'd missed that had doomed them? Or perhaps he should have just taken her advice about the trade agreement…

Van sat alone beneath the moons of his world. He refused to look up, knowing he would only be reminded of Hitomi. How could love be so fickle? His memories were drawn back to this garden, two years before. She had said once that there were things more important than love. She had meant it too. He remembered the stubborn glare in her eyes. He should have known right then that she would never be the queen his advisors wanted for him.

But she was so strong. She was brave, and beautiful, and unafraid of speaking her mind. Van lifted his head from his hands, she was exactly the type of queen Fanelia needed. He gazed into the darkness. The look in her eyes had been final. There would be no apologies that could make her heart melt. Somehow, somehow he had hurt her, just by being himself.

_To see a friend bleed to death  
What for, some kind of metaphor  
That I can't see.  
So I'll drink until I see it._

Dilandau gazed bitterly at the full moon. He paced the living room with an intensity that he rarely allowed out anymore. It was easy for Celena to say she'd always be there for him, but in reality she was a world away. And so was the woman he was in love with.

He let himself fall on the couch with a slight thud. He glared at the television; the late night news wasn't exactly soothing. He sighed, wondering if there might be any movies on at 12:30 on a Friday night. Of course, if he watched a movie he'd be reminded of watching movies with Hitomi. At which point he would start to think about Hitomi. Hitomi with her head on his lap, her silky hair, her voice as she argued about something, anything, she felt passionate about at the moment. He shook his head. It couldn't be healthy to think about someone this much.

There had to be something he was missing, some secret to winning her heart he hadn't thought of yet. He leaned forward and poured himself a scotch. It was a bad habit he was picking up from his boss. Admittedly, it dulled any ethical dilemmas work might cause, but he was Dilandau Albatou. His sense of ethics, no matter how he tried, was still at nil. Maybe that was it, maybe Hitomi, with her uncanny knack for reading his mind knew that in reality he was up to no good, and that was what kept her from caring.

Dilandau sprawled across the couch, absentmindly switching channels. He knocked back the scotch and poured another. On the bright side, there was no work tomorrow, which meant he had all night to ponder Hitomi and why he couldn't catch her attention. Maybe if he drank enough an answer would crawl from the wreckage of his consciousness. If not, maybe he wouldn't remember this painful night, an his inability to stop thinking about _her_.

_This sky will make me sick,  
So I'll give up on you,  
I'll give up on this._

Celena rose from her bed. She'd spent the last few hours tossing and turning. Sleep seemed determined not to come. She was surprised to see that it was actually nearly dawn; perhaps she'd slept more than she'd thought after all. She walked out to her balcony and stared out at the horizon. On a whim she gazed in the direction of the garden. With slight shock she realized that Van was still sitting exactly where Hitomi had left him last night.

Celena looked away, the image burned into her mind. Love, it seemed, made a wreck of you. The sky was turning a nearly unnatural shade of violet to her eyes. She turned away from the balcony, closing the curtains behind her. Her stomach had a strange empty feeling in it. Hitomi would leave today, and she'd never return. The thought made her nearly sick.

And then the thought surfaced. All her training was essentially to produce a knight to protect Hitomi. With no Hitomi… what was Celena's purpose?

Celena sat down on the edge of her bed. Her knight training had become her life. She no longer chased boys, or let them chase her. Even Rorkin, as adamant as he unconsciously was, didn't stir her heart. She strengthened her resolve. Her only weakness now was Dilly, and maybe, maybe it was time to let even that infatuation go. For the sake of her doing something with her life.

_This sky will make me sick,  
So I'll give up on this,  
I'll give up on you._

Van watched the sun rise with a heavy heart. Hitomi would leave today, and it was rather unlikely she'd come back. If he could, he'd hold back the sun to give himself time to think of a way to win back her heart. Nothing had come to him in the night. Perhaps there was nothing left for them after all. Maybe everything this summer had been leading to this moment. The moment he gave up on this dream that he would find true love. Or at least, that he gave up believing that love was the woman his girl from the Mystic Moon had become.

_Archers in your arches,  
Raise your fingers for one last salut.  
And bleed this skyline dry  
Your history is mine._

Hitomi watched the sun rise from her room. Her tearstained eyes burned from the breaking of the sun over the chilly dark world. Her bag sat on the bed, already packed. She'd known she wouldn't sleep that night. When she got home she'd probably sleep a week, and then throw herself into her training early for the season. At least there she'd have Dilandau to lean on. She still found it mildly amusing that Dilandau was better at making her feel better than Celena.

But that didn't change what would happen next. After all the things she and Van had been through, it was over. All the struggles, all the things she'd denied herself; for a love that in the end hadn't survived after all. Had she not tried hard enough? Had he?

Maybe all she could do now was look back on their love and respect it. They'd both given up so much for each other, and they had certainly loved each other. With an intensity she wasn't sure she could ever feel for anyone else. She turned her face from the sun, mentally preparing herself for a final breakfast with the one she had loved. The one whom she had shared so much with. She would never want to lose those precious memories of him, of their time together, of the things they'd faced. But for the moment, they needed to just be put aside. She needed time to reclaim all the pieces of her that were hers.

_So you want to hold me up and bring me down?  
Yes, you want to hold me up and break me down_

Celena entered the dining hall quietly. She'd been expecting Hitomi and Van to be sitting there, silent and sad, but to her surprise Hitomi sat alone. She was pulling a croissant into little pieces, occasionally actually putting one into her mouth, or taking a sip of juice. Celena crossed the hall and sat across from Hitomi.

"Am I making the right choice?" Hitomi whispered softly.

"Did you really have any other?" Celena whispered softly, her thoughts more on her recent decision to free her heart of Dilandau.

_I don't care for your sweet scent  
Or the way you want me more than I want you._

Van stood in the garden. He couldn't stand the thought of sitting across from Hitomi, pretending to eat a breakfast that would taste like sand in both their mouths. So he stood in the garden, knowing she would come through this way to leave. Then the blue pillar of light would come and take her away, just like it had so many other times. Only this time she wouldn't come back.

He didn't understand why she looked so beautiful this morning. She had her bag slung across her shoulder, and he could tell she'd been crying. She wore sorrow like a cloak around her. She didn't want to leave him. He didn't want her to leave. The ring he still held pressed and cut against his palm. He didn't want her to stay either.

_I don't care for your sweet scent  
Or the way you want me more than I want you._

Hitomi had wondered if Van was going to say goodbye to her at all. But here he was, standing in the garden, looking as if he'd never left it in the night. Hitomi mentally shrugged. It wasn't her concern anymore what he did with himself. He was a king. He could look after himself. A small voice in her head disagreed. But it wasn't a loud disagreement. And the little voice certainly didn't tell her she was the one who was supposed to care for him.

The three walked in silence to the clearing where Hitomi usually arrived and left. Hitomi sighed softly, her breathe catching her throat as they came to a stop, suddenly at their destination. She looked shyly at Van, and in a moment gave him a fleeting hug. One last time she smelled his scent – of fields and forest. It didn't move her the way it used to for some reason.

_Archers in your arches,  
Raise your fingers for one last salute..  
And bleed this skyline dry  
Your history is mine._

Celena took in a deep breathe. She felt a little like she was violating the privacy of this goodbye. Because it wasn't just a goodbye, see you around. It was a goodbye forever. And it wasn't a goodbye, nice to know you. It was a goodbye, I loved you with all my heart and soul, and you own a little piece of me forever. Take care of that little piece of me.

Celena attempted to avert her eyes. "You know I won't forget you." She heard Hitomi whisper softly. "Not after everything we've been though."

"I won't forget you either, Hitomi. I'm… I'm sorry it's all ended like this."

"Me too. Now you should find yourself a queen Fanelia actually deserves." Hitomi smiled, almost teasingly, but quickly turned to Celena before that weak smile could falter. "Thank you, Celena. You've been a wonderful friend." She hugged Celena softly. "And thank you for Dilly. I promise I'll keep an eye on him for you." She whispered into her ear.

Celena wasn't sure if she shouldn't laugh. Once Dilly knew Hitomi was single she'd have a hell of a time getting him to take his eyes off her.

She stifled her laughter when Hitomi turned back to Van. There was a heavy pause. "Do you think… would it be alright if I saw your wings just one more time?" She asked softly. Celena watched Van pull his shirt off in silence. Her breathe caught in her throat as she watched the white wings shoot from his back. He pulled Hitomi awkwardly into another hug, a tight hug that lasted a long moment. _  
_

_Archers in your arches,  
Raise your fingers for one last salute..  
And bleed this skyline dry  
Your history is mine.  
_

"Here." He said roughly, pulling away from Hitomi. He forced the pendant with the pale pink jewel into Hitomi's hand. "This is yours. It should go with you. In case, in case you ever want to come back." He paused. "For any reason. To see Celena even."

Celena and Hitomi exchanged one last glance, one that told Celena quite plainly that Hitomi would never again set foot on Gaea. With one last whispered goodbye, the pillar of blue light pulled Hitomi away for one last time.

Celena could only stare at the sight of Van, who let his wings droop sadly the instant Hitomi was gone. "Are you going to be alright?" She asked him softly.

"I'll be fine." He said softly. "I'll always have a part of her." Celena caught the look in his eyes. Despite the drooping of his wings, his eyes held a light that spoke of strength and a wisdom that was being won the hard way. He was, after all, a king.

_It's all mine.. it's all mine.. it's all mine..._

Dilandau struggled his way into the kitchen to make coffee. His head pounded with a rather insistent headache. Unfortunately, his memories of the night before remained intact. What was it about Hitomi that kept her so stuck in his mind? And what was it about headaches that could make you feel even more miserable than you already felt?

He decided to sit at the kitchen table to nurse the mug of steaming coffee. What, he wondered, what could possibly make this day better than the amazing horribleness it was?

The door chose that moment to creak open. Dilandau stared in shock at the wall, had he actually heard the door open, or was it just the headache inventing things? Coffee forgotten, he moved silently into the hallway, staring at a very tired looking young woman with honey-blonde hair.

"You're home." He said in slight shock.

_Archers in your arches,  
Raise your fingers for one last salute..  
And bleed this skyline dry  
Your history is mine._

Hitomi gazed at Dilandau for a long moment. Right now she felt like a wreck. Even though people could talk themselves out of having seen a bright blue light transport a girl out of the sky, she still couldn't do it in a heavily populated area. Which meant she'd just spent the last hour on public transit. Which meant her mood had gotten worse if anything.

Later she would want Dilandau to make her feel better, to keep her from running back to Fanelia, to keep her sane while she got over this mess her life had become. For now, she wanted her bed. And she told him so.

She could sense Dilandau's eyes on her back as she stomped down the hallway and into her bedroom. Part of her wanted to slam her door, but really, she didn't have the energy for that. Her bed in sight, Hitomi crawled under the covers, turned on her side, and cried. This was one of those moments she wished she didn't have a hundred million little memories of Van Fanel.

_Archers in your arches,  
Raise your fingers for one last salute..  
And bleed this skyline dry  
Your history is mine._

* * *

_So... it actually flows better than I thought it would. I hope you liked it. The Hitomi/ Van arc is officially over. Now its time for Celena to figure out what to do with her life, Hitomi to live a little, and Dilly to get the chance he's been angsting for._

_PS... if you felt like you might cry during Van and Hitomi's goodbye... you felt what I felt writing it.  
_


	36. Chapter 36

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Hi again! Sorry for the long wait. I managed to catch this nasty virus, so I've been busy fighting it and trying to keep up in my classes. And discovering that I don't cope well with cats when I'm sick. . Which sucks cause my boyfriend's cat seems to love me. Well, enough about me, here's the next chapter!_

* * *

**_Chapter 36: A Week After_**

Hitomi woke slowly. Her mouth was dry and sticky feeling. She sighed miserably, it had already been a week since she'd come home from Gaea, since she'd left Van for good, and she was still crying herself to sleep. She knew she was worrying Dilandau. After she'd emerged from her room the first day he'd made her a cup of tea and asked her what was wrong. Upon reflection, chucking the contents of the mug he'd handed her at him probably hadn't been a very grown up way of dealing with her feelings. Since then he'd been tiptoeing around her room, afraid to set her off again.

Hitomi turned over under her covers, wondering if maybe the world would disappear if she stayed here long enough. Of course, she wanted to start her training backup again today. Maybe channeling her anger into movement would be more constructive. On the other hand, it sat like a chill cloud on her chest, seemingly trapping her in her bed. She wasn't exactly handling this well, considering she'd been the one to leave him.

But there were so many memories, so many moments to pick apart and dissect and wonder if perhaps that moment was where things had gone wrong. Or maybe there were just so many moments that had g0one wrong it was the grand total of them that had destroyed them…

Hitomi wrenched herself out of bed; the only way to get over this was to act. The longer she dwelled on things… well… the longer she'd be stuck dwelling. Maybe if she had some chocolate things would be better. She looked around her room distractedly, observing not just one, but several chocolate wrappers strewn around the room. O yes, she'd tried that already.

She scooped up her towel and wandered through the empty apartment to the washroom. The best thing about Dilandau being some up-and-coming-big shot in his company was that he was at work early, and home late – at least he was at the moment, knowing that the only welcome he would get from Hitomi was hot tea in his face. Hitomi paused at the door to the washroom. He'd looked so surprised, and so funny, with the warm greeny-brown liquid soaking into his crisp white dress shirt. She smirked. Served him right for looking so fancy at eight in the morning. She tried not to think then, that this was the closest she'd come to a smile in what had been a very long week.

* * *

Celena stood outside the door, a little scared to open it. Nothing had really happened since Hitomi had left. Well, there had been the impromptu celebration of several of Van's older advisors she'd had to shut down before he heard them. It seemed they were more than pleased that Hitomi was out of the picture – now their king could finally get down to the business of picking a "real" queen. She shook her head, the arrogance of those men made her want to hurt something sometimes. She was astounded that Van had no female advisors, how on earth could he think he was getting a balanced perspective on anything?

She refocused on the task at hand. Truthfully, she cared about Van. She didn't like seeing him in the state he was in now – falling apart around the edges. He kept any questions at bay with that hard look in his eyes, but anyone could see he was taking this hard. She had no qualms about protecting him, even laying down her life, as her knight's vows would ask of her. But this? She was a knight, not a babysitter!

Finally she pounded on the door. "Wake up!" She hollered, glaring at the grain of the wood. "Your advisors are starting their meeting without you and you know that if you aren't there the first thing on their agenda will be picking you a wife!" She glared at the door. This was stupid. For the sixth day in a row they had given her this detail: wake up the king and drag him out of bed. This was sexism was what it was. Just cause she was the female they made her do the crappy jobs.

Growing increasingly impatient, she practically threw the door open, just as she had for the past five days (the first day she'd merely tried yelling and pleading through the door, eventually giving up). Stomping over to the bed, she ripped the covers off the huddled form of the king of Fanelia. "Get up." She glowered. The first day she'd been hesitant to do this, afraid that catching Van in any state of undress may be embarrassing and interpreted wrongly. She'd soon found that she'd been left with no other options, however. After five days of this pathetic charade, she found she was just too irritated for anyone to interpret it wrongly. She was a knight, and her mission was to get the king to his meetings on time. She gritted her teeth. She was damn well going to get her mission right.

An hour later Celena was calmly standing in the palace grounds, saddling up her horse for a much needed ride. "Hey, Celena," one of the other knights-in-training ran up to her from across the lawn. "How on earth do you do it?"

Celena stared at the young man with disinterest. "Do what?"

"Get the king out of his room. You know no one else has managed yet don't you? That why they always order you in."

Celena blinked. "You mean other people try before I get there?"

The young man nodded impatiently. "So how do you do it?"

Celena laughed, a warm laugh that filled the courtyard. She turned her gaze back to the young man, "I guess I'm just that scary." She said with a wink.

* * *

Dilandau took a deep breathe, poised to open the door to the apartment. Rationally, he wasn't afraid of Hitomi. Irrationally, he remembered exactly how good she had become with a sword, how hot that tea had been splattering across his chest, and how ruined that shirt had been. He could always just leave her alone, the same way he had for the past week. But at this point curiousity was killing him. Celena wouldn't tell him why Hitomi had come home early, and while he had his guesses, he needed to know the truth.

Which was why he was carrying several bags of groceries in one hand, while mentally preparing himself to feel Hitomi's wrath when he starting questioning her again. If nothing else, she needed to talk to someone. He'd looked in on her this morning before leaving for work, and she'd looked a mere ghost of herself, even asleep. Whatever had happened was eating her up inside.

He opened the door softly, moving straight for the kitchen where he started preparing dinner. This would be a grand affair, with steak and mashed potatoes and fresh baby greens. He shook his head, a year or two ago he would have simply walked in on Hitomi, grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her until she told him everything and snapped out of it. Now he was cooking a lovely supper, with something deliciously chocolately for dessert, and a nice red wine to wash it all down, so he could tease the answers from her. For a moment he wished he could go back to his old self, it'd be so much easier.

When dinner was nearly ready he went to pop his head into Hitomi's room. Instead he found himself pausing outside of the living room. Hitomi was laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. She still wore her running shoes, and was dressed in running shorts and her favourite running top. She raised her head a little. Dilandau felt a small shiver of relief run down his spine when she smiled weakly at him. "Something smells really yummy." She said softly. The first thing she'd said to him all week. Possibly the first thing she'd said to anyone.

"How far did you run?" he heard himself ask.

"I don't know." She murmured. "I started running and it all started to float away, so I kept running until I could barely move my legs. And then I ran home again."

"And you haven't moved since." He supplied, a slight smirk on his face.

"I'm starving." She whispered softly.

"I made steak." He said, a slight feeling of vindication rising in him. So this new way of doing things certainly seemed like it might work.

* * *

Hitomi stretched slowly as she rose from the couch. Her body screamed in agony. She felt sticky with dried sweat and tears, but was really too hungry to care how she looked. It was just Dilandau anyway. There wasn't really any need to look pretty in front of him when she felt rotten. He'll probably understand, she found herself thinking softly. She realized with a start that she'd decided during her run to tell him everything. She needed to tell someone. She needed to get all this off her chest before it smothered her.

She walked into the dining room, plunking herself into her chair. She raised her eyebrow at the large glass of red wine that sat before her. She smiled softly, lifting the glass and taking a grateful sip. The strong, heavy flavour sat on her tongue pleasantly. It seemed oddly honest to her, after the deceptive wines of Gaea's royal courts – sweet and quick to intoxicate, unlike this kind Merlot. Yes, it contained alcohol, but the flavour kept one from downing it quickly, which also kept you more sober, she thought with a faint smile.

"Something funny?" She heard Dilandau's voice before she lifted her eyes to see him walk in with two heaping plates of food.

"Well, a little." She said, firm in her resolve to tell him everything. "I was comparing the taste to the wine they serve in Fanelia." She made a face. "It's too sweet. And the servants have a tendency to fill up your glass whenever you aren't looking."

She noted the slight twitch upon the corner of Dilandau's lips. "And you drink far too much, far too quickly right?"

She nodded with a smile. "And the worst part," She began, taking a deep breathe. "Was that the jerk wouldn't even hold my hand while I threw up after."

* * *

Dilandau lay stretched out across his bed, his head resting on his arms folded behind his head. He stared up at the ceiling, a smile twitching on his lips. He didn't think he'd ever had such a wonderful night in his life. It was… he wondered if the words existed… a dream come true to hear Hitomi berate Van. All the little things she hated about him, all the little things that drove her crazy, all the ridiculously stupid mistakes he'd made when it came to her. And she'd told them, she'd laughed, and she'd nearly cried. And he could feel the walls she'd built up around herself falling down.

And she was staying here. She had no intentions of ever going back to Gaea. She was done with Van – had told him so herself. A strange sense of disbelief filled him. All those days of nearly moping around the apartment feeling miserable and thinking she was happy, and she'd been just as miserable there. And the funny thing was, it struck him that Van's actions had been compared against his own, and somehow he'd come out the better man - not Van. Dilandau smirked up at the ceiling. Well then. It seemed the only thing left to do now was treat Hitomi a thousand times better than anyone had before. Doesn't seem so hard, he thought softly.

* * *

Allen stared at his sister in disbelief. "Hitomi… left?" He felt rather like the earth had given out beneath him. He'd ridden all this way, to say hi to the happy couple before Hitomi went back to earth, only to find that there was no happy couple. In fact there was no couple at all.

"Yes," Celena replied patiently. "Hitomi left Van. For good." It was the third time she'd said it. "So please don't bring her up in front of Van. We've finally got him semi-functioning again. So long as no one mentions her, or the Mystic Moon, or finding a wife, he's more or less fine."

Allen stared at his sister. "This is for real then?" He asked her softly. "She's not coming back?"

Celena shook her head. "I saw her when she left. She had this hard look in her eyes. She was sad, but she was determined as anything. I know that look," she said softly. "It's the look that says you've decided not to love someone anymore."

Allen looked sharply at his sister. "What do you mean you know that look?" He asked; a second question half-formed in his mind. One which had a certain memory of his sister and a letter, a book, and a dark room at its focal point.

Celena shook her head softly, "I just do."

Allen turned his head, seemingly to dismiss the topic, but really he was taking note of the sad tones in her voice, and the far away look in her eyes. "How do you know she won't come back?" He asked instead.

"Dilly won't let her." She said softly. "He knows she deserves better than feeling bad all the time, and he'll remind her of that."

That definitely caused Allen to jerk his gaze back to his sister. "Wha-what?"

"Dilandau, I think, wants a chance at trying to protect her." Allen stared at his sister, wrinkling his face slightly at her cryptic words.

"You mean he's in love with her?" He asked before he'd had a chance to consider his sister's feelings in all this.

"Hitomi seems to have that effect on Gaean men." She said, though Allen noted a slightly bitter undertone to her voice. He was rather surprised when she smiled, "After all, she got you and Van. Dilly really isn't smart enough to keep himself out of the same traps."

Allen looked at his sister, a little speechless. He watched her smile curve into a slightly familiar smirk. "I would know." She said lightly, "I've been in his head after all."

* * *

Van paused on the stairs. He'd been intending to go say hi to Allen, but it seemed his resident female knight-in-training had reached him first. Now the voices of the brother and sister floated softly up to him. He ground his teeth slightly; yes, he was upset about Hitomi leaving. Yes, it was effecting him greatly. But semi-functional? He didn't need people to baby him. If they wanted to bring up Hitomi they could.

He remained frozen on the stairs however, swamped in memories of this disasterous summer. There was one in particular he didn't like now. He'd been stuck late in a meeting. He'd intended to go straight back to the room he and Hitomi shared soon as the meeting was over, but he'd been so frustrated after the meeting he'd pulled out his sword and practiced in the courtyard instead.

By the time he'd finally returned to the room, the sky was already growing light again. He'd opened the door softly, expecting to see Hitomi asleep. Instead she'd been sitting up on the bed, a blanket pulled around her. She'd glared at him with sharp eyes. "Don't start." She'd said softly. "That meeting ended several hours ago."

He'd stared at her. "I was stressed," he'd said calmly, "I needed to blow off some steam."

"For three hours?" She asked him then.

"I didn't ask you to stay up."

"You knew I would." Had he known that? Maybe some small voice in his head had known, but most of him hadn't believed it – had he? Maybe he just hadn't cared at that moment. "You could've at least dropped by the room." She finished; a regretful tone to her voice.

He's shuffled awkwardly. He could've done that. He just hadn't wanted to. There were times when having Hitomi there complicated things. She cared too much, wanted to be with him too much, said too much. He'd sighed. "Maybe it would be best if we slept in different rooms for a while. Until the mess with the trade agreement is over."

He jolted out of his reverie on the stairs. How on earth had he thought that suggestion was any good at that time? Was that the moment he'd started to lose her? He shook his head, it didn't really matter now did it? He finished coming down the stairs, catching a slight element of surprise on the two siblings' faces.

"What?" He asked them, oblivious to anything that had been said last.

"Nothing." They had replied in unison. Van raised an eyebrow. Celena could lie, he noted, Allen really could not.


	37. Chapter 37

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Yay! Another chapter… I should be doing homework, but its not happening so I figured I'd give you all an update instead. :P_

* * *

**_Chapter 37: Summer Fading_**

Hitomi woke feeling slightly blurry. She climbed slowly out of bed, stretching her muscles out like a cat. She stared at her alarm clock for a moment, realizing that she still had twenty minutes before it would go off. She shrugged, wandering down the hall to the bathroom instead.

The hot water poured over her skin, relaxing her tense shoulders and slowly waking her from her dreamy state. It was a Saturday, she realized with a start, meaning she didn't have to rush so Dilly could use the washroom to get ready for work. She smiled slightly, normally her showers were relatively rushed affairs, since she was up early, why not stretch it out a bit?

She left the bathroom, her body wrapped tight in a dark green towel, running a brush through her tangled hair as she walked down the hallway. Once in her bedroom she rifled through her closet and drawers, outfitting herself for her morning run. She'd been going for runs every morning lately; it felt wrong not to, when she had all this extra time. Perhaps she ought to look into getting a job, but school was starting up in another few weeks, and her training was occupying a simply huge amount of her time.

Eating a banana as she dug through the hallway closet for her windbreaker, she found her still sleepy mind concluding that even if she ran out of money, Dilly would look after her. Certainly he wouldn't let her starve. And she was well aware that she was already paying far less in rent than he was. She paused for a moment while pulling on her running shoes – why was it Dilandau took care of her this way? He couldn't possibly still feel like he owed her, could he? Or did it maybe have more to do with something along the lines of that dream…

Hitomi froze, remembering exactly how soft the kiss had been, barely a brushing of lips at first. Something about that kiss had awakened something in her, or it would have, she corrected herself, if it had been real. As it was, it had merely been a dream: a byproduct of her intoxicated state. Hitomi straightened her body out, opening the door quietly and slipping out of the building into the early dawn of a summer morning. It would be hot later in the day, but for the moment she was glad for her windbreaker. There was a chilly breeze in the air, just another sign of autumn's approach.

For a moment she found herself wondering what it would feel like to be in someone's arms at the moment, instead of torturing her straining muscles. She attempted to run slowly, warming her body up, but unwanted thoughts kept floating through her head; the least of which was, for some reason or another, what kissing Dilandau would be like in real life.

She shook her head and ran faster, attempting to clear her mind. What was she doing thinking about someone romantically so soon after having her heart wrecked on Gaea? Hitomi slowed instantly, dropping into a walk that disintegrated after a few steps into her standing stock still, staring into space ahead of her. She'd forgotten about Van. She hadn't thought about him at all until just now. Did this mean her heart was healing, or that she was just a terrible, unfeeling person? And thinking about Dilly that way?

A pigeon careened dangerously close to her head, jarring her from her reverie. Startled into movement, she stared after the winged fiend blankly, hopelessly confused by her own emotions.

* * *

Celena twitched slightly as the carriage pulled into the courtyard. She stifled the urge to roll her eyes as the door was worked open long before the horses had stopped moving. Of course, that certainly didn't stop the pink-haired female who had opened said door from leaping out; landing gracefully on all fours, tail twitching slightly. Her bright eyes settled on Celena and her shrill (though mellowed slightly by the intervening years) voice cut through the still morning air. "Where's Lord Van?" The cat-girl (near woman) demanded eagerly. 

Celena bit her lip slightly. Of course, Van certainly needed every friend he could get right now, but Merle had the potential to drag things up that had finally settled down nicely. "In his bedchambers," she replied sweetly, "If you like you can wake him." Gods know I'm sick of doing it, she finished in her head.

Merle was growing up, anyone could see that. She'd grown in height, slimmed down, and taken to wearing more adult clothes, though her skirts were as short as Hitomi's had ever been. Celena waited until the girl's back was turned to shake her head. Merle's eighteenth birthday was coming up soon, and that coupled with the news of Van's engagement being called off had brought her back to Fanelia's capital.

Celena wondered if Merle would now surrender all her newfound freedoms and independence to once again hang off Van's side. She hoped not. For everyone's sake really. A rather masculine yell of consternation echoed faintly down the hallway. Celena smirked. At least she would be off "waking up the King" duty for as long as Merle stayed.

* * *

Van stared sheepishly at his childhood friend. Despite the fact that she now looked like an adult cat-person, that is, probably too sexy for her own good, she still acted like the kitten he'd always known. Apparently leaping onto his bed, landing on his chest and staring him innocently in the eyes was her idea of a decent wake up call. He stared helplessly, pinned to his own bed. He was immediately reminded of a thousand clingy moments. Briefly he wished he could have Celena pulling the blankets off the bed and cursing him just under her breathe instead. 

"Lord Van!" Merle cried delightedly. She tilted her head slightly to the right. "You look older."

Van stared a little speechless. "You're… home."

Merle nodded sagely. "I came soon as I could once I heard about everything that's happened. But I had to finish up my lessons. I would have been here sooner if I could." Her ears drooped slightly. "It's not 'cause I didn't care, Lord Van." She lifted her bright wide eyes, tears brimming them just slightly. "If I'd had a choice I would have been here with you always!"

Van sighed, pulling himself into a sitting position. Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around his childhood friend. "It's alright, Merle. It was something I needed to get through on my own. I think… I think in the end it was my fault anyway." He felt Merle stiffen in his arms.

"What do you mean?" She demanded, pulling herself out of his arms. "Hitomi left you! She obviously was insane! You're wonderful, Lord Van. I always knew she was going to hurt you!" She growled slightly, "If I could get my claws in her…"

Van stared sadly at Merle for a long moment. Hitomi's sad eyes flashed before him. The longing looks, the silent cries for help or attention or love, the crushed look she'd given him that night after the party. And he'd ignored them all. He shook his head. "No Merle." He held Merle hands gently, "It was me. I was the idiot. She deserved to be treated much better than how I treated her." He looked into Merle's eyes pleadingly. "If you'd been here, it would have been me you'd have your claws in."

He watched Merle stare it him in silent shock. "But Lord Van…" He shook his head, pulling himself out from under her. He headed for the bathroom, leaving a very confused cat sitting on his bed.

* * *

Dilandau flipped the crepe sitting in the frying pan with practiced ease. He gazed around the kitchen, content with his work. At some point, Dilandau Albatou had not only learned to cook, he'd come to enjoy it. Several times he'd started to consider if it was some sort of weakness. Of course, then he'd watch Hitomi eat, and hear her praise for the food, and that would undo all those thoughts. Quite honestly, if anyone wanted to think him weak for cooking and baking, they were welcome to; so long as Hitomi kept enjoying it he had no intentions of stopping. 

He slid the crepe onto the plate, piling it high with fresh sliced fruit and just a dab of fresh whipping cream. His lips twitched slightly, maybe one day she'd even figure out why he did so many things for her. And maybe, if he played his cards right, she'd wake up one day and realize she loved him. And perhaps the day after he'd wake up with her in his arms.

He paused. And then of course there were the plans for world corporate domination. It was essential that they remained intact and achievable. Otherwise he'd come across as just another hopeless romantic. And if there was _anything_ Dilandau Albatou would _never_ be labeled, it was hopeless romantic.

He set the plates down on the table just as the front door creaked open, and a slightly sweaty, out of breathe Hitomi dragged herself into the room. He raised his eyebrow at her. "So you used all the hot water, and now you need another shower?"

He was rewarded with a dark glare. "We don't pay for the hot water." Hitomi replied flippantly.

"Uh huh. Right. Aren't you Miss We-Shouldn't-Waste-Water?" Dilandau egged her on slightly, knowing he'd be forgiven once she sat down to eat.

Another dark glare. "What business is it of yours anyway?"

Dilandau shrugged. "It's not really. I just like having hot water as much as the next person." He smirked at her, "Breakfast is getting cold you know."

Hitomi sighed and turned to sit at the table. Dilandau savoured the slight drop of her jaw, and her attempt at nonchalance. "Coffee; just what I need." He shook his head. All the thanks he needed was there watching her eat, savouring the food on her tongue when she didn't think he was looking.

Mornings are probably his favourite.

* * *

Hitomi lay back across her bed, deep in contemplation. She'd worked hard today, and she had a suspicion she'd beat her 12 second time on her last lap, even though there had been no one to time that one. Her thoughts from that morning had haunted her all day though. No matter what she couldn't seem to shake them. She'd spent the first hour of her day wondering and daydreaming about how it would feel to touch and taste the lips of her best friend.How did one explain that? 

She shook her head. On the other hand, how did one explain all the little things Dilly did for her? She pulled herself up off her bed. For a moment her gaze was caught by a flash of white. She reached up to her shelf and pulled down a long white feather. She ran her fingers down the spine of it, absorbed in the sense of touch. She lifted the feather and ran it gently down the side of her cheek. She savoured the softness; she knew it was for the last time.

A look of determination set onto her face, she strode purposefully from her room. She didn't stop when Dilandau stared at her, simply walking out the apartment door. She wasn't really thinking at this point, there was just a poetic moment written in her veins and she needed to go through with it, to let herself be free.

She paused at the top of the stairs. Taking a deep breathe, she pushed on the door that lead to the roof. There was a garden up here, she'd realized a while back. But it was closed after dusk. At the moment it was nearly midnight, but that wasn't going to stop her. She was on a mission now.

Carefully making sure the door was propped open and wouldn't shut behind her, Hitomi ventured out onto the roof, taking in the dark night sky. On Gaea, stars would have filled the heavens from horizon to horizon. Here, only the very brightest shone through, a scattered handful of fireflies. She took a deep breathe as she neared the edge of the building.

There was a wall around the edge. She was momentarily thankful that there was no way for her to fall, after all, there was no one who could save her from falling now. She took a deep breathe and raised the feather in her hands. She stroked it one last time. "Goodbye Van," she heard herself whisper, her voice cracking as a single tear traced its way down her cheek. The breeze picked up just as she offered her open hands into the air. The pale feather was picked up by the wind. Hitomi watched the feather drift into the night until darkness swallowed it up.

She took a ragged breathe. It was done then. The pink pendant was tucked away into a box inside a small bag, in the corner of her jewellery box. The feather was gone – swallowed into the darkness like the love it had represented. Gaea was a memory now, nothing more than that. She wiped the tear from her cheek, sniffling just once before regaining her composure. She turned just a moment too late to notice the darkened figure behind her slip back down the stairwell.

* * *

Dilandau rushed back to the apartment, settling himself on the couch just minutes before Hitomi re-entered the apartment, heading straight to her room. He wanted to say something. To tell her anything – any of the million things his heart had screamed, watching her release that feather into the night. Hearing her whispered goodbye. Seeing the wind whip her honey locks into tangles. 

He felt like he could die with wanting to wrap his arms around her. To make her smile. To take the pain from her voice. But somehow he knew that what she'd just done had been her way of putting it all the past. In some ways it had been horrible of him to watch her do it. It had been a private moment – anyone could have seen that.

But he was a horrible person. No amount of being in love or baking was going to change that fact. He sighed softly, rubbing his eyes. He had a feeling that this was going to be another of those long sleepless nights where he would try to justify being worthy of Hitomi's love – should she ever give it. He shook his head, why did he do this? He wasn't going to change just to be more worthy of her was he? He groaned softly to himself. One of these days he was going to have to admit to being just as much of a sap as he feared he was.

* * *

_So what do you all think? Reviews are loved and cherished - even if I don't get a chance to reply to all of them._


	38. Chapter 38

**What happens when it fades?**

_Again with the avoiding homework… really, I seem to update the most when I should be spending my time studying. :P I want to thank vampiric-anime-lover for her suggestion in her last review. I've adapted it to my own ends. So this chapter is officially dedicated to her._

* * *

**_Chapter 38: Enter the Fall_**

Hitomi stood at the starting line. It was the last race of the day, and everything came down to this run. She was up against the best varsity athletes, and she'd never made it so far. This was her chance to shine. And to prove herself as one of Japan's best female athletes. She set her jaw, this was going to be one of those life-changing races; she could feel it in her bones.

She stepped into the starting block, every muscle in her body poised. She was like a panther – no, a cheetah. Ready to burst from standstill into an explosion of movement. She took a deep breathe, time froze for a moment. The breeze blew a few tendrils of her hair that had slipped out from her ponytail. The starting gun went off and she practically flew from the blocks.

She was ahead of the pack. There was nothing but the ground, the wind, and the finish line. The girl beside her was inching forward, pulling even with her. She smiled slightly, this was the challenge. Then she spotted the rock in her path. For a moment the thought flashed through her head, why was there a rock in the course? Of course, she could avoid it; it may add a few milliseconds to her time, but a fall at this point in her career could be devastating.

The milliseconds flashed by and she was just about past the stone in her path. And then the girl beside her elbowed her side. Hitomi felt her centre of gravity shift, felt her body throw sideways, and felt her foot slide across the stone, her ankle twisting out from under her as she tumbled over. The last thing she felt was shock: shock that she wasn't going to be the first to cross the finish line.

* * *

Dilandau stood beside the stands. He never quite felt right sitting in them, after all, Hitomi had never once invited him to a race of her's. He doubted she even knew he came out to them. He watched her step into the starting block, a few tangled tendrils of her hair twisting in the wind. He was slightly in awe of her focus. In all his years of battle and training he was certain he'd never seen anyone with such pure focus on winning.

From behind dark sunglasses, his violet-red eyes followed her as she raced down the track. He narrowed his eyes at the girl who was edging up beside Hitomi – there was something hostile in the way the girl carried herself as she ran beside Hitomi. He stared when Hitomi inched ever so slightly to the right, what was she doing? And then with suspicious eyes he watched the other girl purposely jab her elbow out at Hitomi.

He was moving before he registered Hitomi's fall. In fact, he only felt his thoughts catch up with his body after he'd leapt onto the track and sprinted to Hitomi's side. "Hitomi?" He asked, slightly panicked. She wasn't moving, in fact she seemed to be barely breathing. Cautious not to shift her back or neck too much, he pulled Hitomi onto her back. As he'd feared, there was a bloody scrape on her forehead. She had hit her head landing on the track.

"Hey! You there! You aren't allowed on the track!" Someone yelled at him, as the medics ran out onto the track. Dilandau simply slide his sunglasses from his face and folding them deftly, tucked them into his jacket pocket. The medics were greeted by his cold stare, and didn't even bother trying to argue him off the track.

"Wha- what happened?" A breathless voice whispered behind Dilandau. He turned sharply to face the girl who had elbowed Hitomi. He'd noticed that she didn't stop or look back until after she'd crossed the finish line. Anger burned in his devilish eyes as he regarded the girl.

"I hope your little win was worth it." He hissed softly through his teeth. The girl stared between him and Hitomi's unconscious body as the medics checked her over and called the ambulance to the field. She clapped her hand to her mouth, and a tiny whimper escaped from her lips. Her eyes looked back into Dilandau's, pleading for something: forgiveness, or comfort, or a way out.

Dilandau just glared. He wasn't sure if he was burning up or freezing cold. He spun on his heel and redirected his attention to Hitomi. Paramedics were hurrying across the field now, and he watched them move her onto a stretcher. He started to follow them, but was stopped by the official for the race. He shook his head impatiently. "I have to go with her." He growled.

"No, what you have to do is answer some questions." The official said calmly. "Such as why you felt it necessary to leap onto the track while people were still racing."

Dilandau turned his gaze from the ambulance to the official. "People were still racing?" He replied softly, his eyes blazing holes into the other man. The two stood still, as the sound of the ambulance pulling out of the parking lot, echoed across the field. "I'm going now." Dilandau said finally. It was an order, simple as that. Perhaps even more harsh than any he'd ordered during the war.

The official had stepped back. "She your girlfriend?"

Dilandau just stared blankly at the man. "She's Hitomi." He replied, taking that as his cue to race from the field to attempt to grab a taxi.

By the time Dilandau got to the hospital he was furious. The traffic had inched along, every light had been red, and he could swear he'd been overcharged. He strode purposefully into the hospital's emergency wing and walked up to the nurse on duty. "Hitomi Kanzaki." He said.

"What?" The nurse replied, rather confused by this man who had burst in the doors, sidestepped the line up of people awaiting treatment, and then dropped a girl's name.

"Where is Hitomi Kanzaki?" Dilandau said very clearly and precisely, assuming the woman was stupid or deaf rather than noticing his own behaviour or surroundings.

"Sir, you need to get in line if you…"

"No." he said calmly. "I need to see Hitomi. Can't you just look at your charts and tell me which room she's in?"

"Only relatives are allowed to see emergency patients. Unless you're a relative I can't do…"

"I live with her." Dilandau's eyes flashed dangerously. "She just came in. She was at a track meet and she fell while racing. She was unconscious when the ambulance picked her up." He was beginning to lose his patience.

The nurse looked at him uncomfortably. "You stay right here and I'll see what I can do." She said softly, her features betraying the fact that she wasn't exactly pleased with this task.

Dilandau watched her step behind another desk, asking another nurse something, from what he could tell it looked like something about "common law marriage". He growled in frustration. They were wasting his time, and worse, now he'd have to deal with Hitomi's wrath or confusion when she woke up and everyone assumed they were together. On the other hand, he could probably use this to his advantage.

The nurse came back. "She's in room 32C, its down the hall to the left. Is there anyone else I should contact, or can you fill in all the forms then?"

Dilandau shifted impatiently. "Can I just see her?" He demanded angrily. The fire in his soul flaring up in a way it hadn't in months.

The nurse shrugged. "Alright, follow me then. You can fill out these forms in her room."

Dilandau was more than irritated by how slowly the nurse was walking. Didn't she understand that he needed to see Hitomi? Needed to make sure she was alright? Needed to know if she was still unconscious? He ground his teeth.

The nurse pushed open a door. She pulled back a curtain and there was his Hitomi. She looked deathly pale surrounded by white sheets and beeping machines. He took in the IV in her hand, and the bandage across her forehead. "She's hasn't woken up yet, has she?" He asked softly.

"No," the nurse replied. Her features softening slightly as she looked at him. Dilandau swallowed slightly, suddenly aware that he was letting his expression show every ounce of fear and love that he felt. He felt suddenly very tired.

"You need to contact her parents." He said softly. "They'll be worried sick." He held out his hand for the pad of forms and the pen the nurse held out to him. He filled out the contact information for Hitomi's parents first, moving to hand that piece of paper to the nurse first.

She shook her head. "I'll come back in a while and get them all. You just take your time. And while they do suggest talking to people in comas, try not to be too loud. Mr. Peterson is having a heart transplant tomorrow and needs his rest." She gestured to the other set of curtains in the room.

Dilandau nodded numbly. Now that he was here, all the fury he'd felt was quickly draining away, replaced instead with a numbness. He stared helplessly at Hitomi's pale features as he sank into the uncomfortable chair provided by her bedside. He lifted his hand slightly, sliding it along the edge of the bed, and gently taking hold of her hand. "C'mon 'Tomi." He said softly. "You're stronger than this."

Several hours later Dilandau awoke to the sound of the door opening. Hitomi's parents rushed into the room, staring horrified at Hitomi's state. "Oh Hitomi!" He mother cried softly.

Dilandau stood a little awkwardly, "Hi." He murmured. "I hope you don't mind I filled out the forms. If I hadn't they probably wouldn't have let me stay…"

He trailed off when Hitomi's mother wrapped him up into a tight hug. "I'm just glad you're here for her!" Dilandau let himself sink into that hug, hugging the older woman back nearly as tightly. Finally, she pulled away, a few tears wetting her kindly face. "I'm just not sure how Hitomi's going to react when she wakes up to hear the hospital staff. You've managed to create a fine list of rumours in just a few hours."

Dilandau smiled weakly. "I figure any future torture will be worth having been here when she wakes up."

"What exactly happened?" Hitomi's father cut in, his features expecially grave in the dull hospital light.

Dilandau sighed. "She was racing. It was the last race of the day and for some reason she edged slightly into the next lane. Unfortunately, that lane had a person in it who decided to elbow Hitomi at just the right time." He paused. "There was a stone on the track." He looked over at Hitomi. "She hit her head on the track, and for some reason the fall was especially hard. She hasn't woken up yet. But the doctor said part of that could be the painkillers they've put her on." He winced slightly. "She's fractured her ankle."

Hitomi's parents both gasped slightly. He nodded wearily, not wanting to say what they were all thinking. Hitomi's running career was quite possibly over.

"Should we be trying to find a way to contact that fiancé of her's?" Her mother asked after a long moment.

Dilandau struggled not to let his jaw drop. "What?" He stared at Hitomi's parents in shock. "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell us what?" Hitomi's father interjected, bemused by the young man's shocked stare.

"She and Van broke up." He gestured at Hitomi's bare hand. "They're not engaged any more."

Hitomi's parents turned their gaze back on him. "So… how many of these rumours are true then?" Hitomi's mother said softly. Dilandau just stared at her.

* * *

Dilandau dragged himself through the hospital cafeteria. Aside from a few short trips home for showers and a change of clothes, and an impromptu nap he hadn't actually intended to take, he'd spent nearly every minute in the hospital. He hated to leave Hitomi's side as long as she was asleep.

Because she still hadn't woken up. His boss was less than pleased that Dilandau was actually using one of his family emergency days. "How is a roommate family?" He'd demanded gruffly. Dilandau sighed, he'd simply replied that this was Hitomi, not just some roommate.

He shook his head, slumping into a seat and resting his head on the cool tabletop. He turned his head sideways to stare at the tray of unappetizing food. Picking up a spoon he poked at the green jello portion of his meal, watching it wiggle from his sideways view. This was it. When she woke up, soon as she got over the whole not running for awhile thing, he was telling her how he felt.

No. He was going to sweep her off her feet. Just as soon as she woke up. Right. That was the plan. But what if she still needed time? Dilandau stabbed the jello futilely with the spoon. The last time he'd felt this helpless he'd been sharing a body with a girl.

* * *

Hitomi woke feeling like a ton of bricks was balanced on her head. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking at the faint light that crossed her face. Her fingers tightened reflexively and she found her hand was in someone else's. She struggled to sit up a little, her eyesight still blurry. "Shhh, it's alright." A voice floated across her awareness, followed by a gentle tightening from that strange hand holding her own.

She forced her eyes to focus on Dilandau. "What happened?" She croaked, suddenly realizing how dry her mouth was.

A glass of water materialized in front of her face nearly instantly. "You need to drink. You've been unconscious for three days now." Hitomi raised her trembling hands, accepting the glass and drinking deeply. The water soothed her throat as it trickled down, taking the sticky dry feeling in her mouth away.

"Three days?" She whispered softly, gazing a little dreamily at Dilandau.

He nodded. "You were elbowed when you were running, and you fell over." He took a deep breathe. "You're a bit doped up on pain killers still."

"For my head?" She asked softly.

"For your ankle." He replied, wincing slightly.

Hitomi felt a little like her head was spinning. "My ankle?" She asked softly. "What happened to my ankle?" Bile was rising in her throat. If anything serious had happened she could kiss her running career goodbye.

She watched Dilandau chew his lip nervously. "Dilandau," She said firmly. "What happened to my ankle?"

She watched his face fall slightly, though his eyes never broke contact with her's. "The surgeon's been waiting for you to wake up before they do the surgery. They needed to make sure there were no neurological problems too. Since you're awake, they'll probably want to do the surgery today or tomorrow."

Hitomi let a small whimper escape her lips. "Surgery?" That meant it was bad. She'd fallen while twisting. Surgery meant things had to be realigned. Surgery meant weeks and weeks of bedrest and casts. If she was lucky she might be able to start running again next summer. But she'd be so out of shape that there would be no chance of her getting her time as good as it was this year. She shut her eyes tightly.

She felt Dilandau take her hand again, he held it so tightly. She felt the tears escape her closed eyelids. "Hey, it'll be ok." She heard Dilandau say softly. "Look on the bright side, you'll get to order me around the apartment for months on end." Hitomi wasn't sure if she was choking back a laugh or a sob. But she felt Dilandau's other hand wipe the tears away from her still-closed eyes. Somehow she got a comfortable sense that he wasn't going anywhere that day.

* * *

Hitomi sat up against the pillows on her hospital bed. She'd spent another couple days in the hospital after the surgery on her ankle. She'd forced Dilandau to go work, when she realized after waking up from her surgery that it was Wednesday, and Dilandau hadn't been in yet that week. She shook her head, deep in thought.

He cared more about her than the job he'd been working so hard to get these past few years. She chewed her lip thoughtfully; grateful that the throbbing headache she'd had was finally gone. She smiled as her mother walked into the room. "Hey Mom." She said weakly.

Her mother looked immensely pleased. "I'm happy to see you aren't moping about your ankle anymore."

Hitomi sighed softly. "It still bothers me, but there's hope for next season at least. It's really too bad I didn't get to finish this one. There was only one more meet before they selected who would go to Nationals." She paused. "I was the favourite."

Her mother settled down into the chair beside her bed. "But there's more to life than running," her mother badgered her. "I know Dilandau has already been contacting your professors to make arrangements for you to get notes and write the paper you missed out on."

Hitomi stared at her mother. "Dilandau's done what?"

Her mother smiled. "He knows how important your courses are to you. I think it just makes him happy to think that he's making your life easier."

Hitomi blinked. "Well… he has been spending a lot of time here."

Hitomi's mother laughed. "You don't know the half of it do you?" She shook her head. "The moment you fell Dilandau leapt onto the track, while the other girls were still racing past. We had to force him to leave your side to get food or some sleep. I could count the hours he spent away from this hospital on my two hands up until you told him to go to work."

Hitomi sat still, her mouth hanging open slightly. "Dilandau was at my race?"

Hitomi's mother shook her head. "He's in love with you." She said insistently, a small smile on her lips.

Hitomi shook her head. "What are you talking about?" She said, a fake smile on her lips. "We're just friends. If he got hurt I'd be worried about him too." She tried to ignore the feeling of butterflies that had suddenly began in her stomach. Wasn't this exactly the conclusion that her mind had been working itself towards ever since she'd gotten back from Gaea?

All the little things. The way his hand had held hers so tightly. Brunch on the weekends, better than anything she could buy in a restaurant. The cute smirk he had when he was teasing her about something. The way his lips felt on hers in her dreams.

"Hitomi? Are you alright, honey?" Her mother's voice interrupted Hitomi's reverie. Her face was a little concerned.

Hitomi gazed at her mother, her thoughts still spinning around her head, as her mouth strove to form words. Alright, so maybe she had her own reasons for wanting to think he cared about her… maybe because… she rather liked him. "You actually think he," Hitomi struggled over the word, "loves me?" Her voice whispered through the quiet room.

"Without a doubt." A dry male voice cut across the curtained room. Mr. Peterson just loved gossip. And the young couple on the other side of the room had been like his own personal soap opera.

_So what do you all think? I know I'm moving slowly… but the best things in life are those you build up to aren't they?_


	39. Chapter 39

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Well, here I am again. I hope all this rapid updating is making up for how long it took me last month. :P_

* * *

**_Chapter 39: Shark_**

Celena sat at a large table in the library, mapping out various strategic defense plans should Fanelia ever be attacked once again. She was ridiculously close to being ready to take her oath as a knight of Fanelia. She smiled, wasn't that just the funniest thing? Brother and sister, both royal knights but in separate kingdoms.

Allen had returned to Asturia, a little downcast at not seeing Hitomi before she left – this time for what everyone figured was for good. Celena sighed softly at the memory of Hitomi's sad eyes taking a last longing sweep of Fanelia. Despite what Van may have believed, Hitomi had loved this country, and all of Gaea. She knew though, that Hitomi wouldn't have been happy here in the end. For the same reasons she hadn't liked Earth – it wasn't her world.

Which rather left Dilly as a mystery to all. He had no regrets about leaving Gaea behind completely. Celena shook her head; maybe that wasn't so surprising. After all, what did he really have here? Aside from her friendship, it was all bad memories. For him Earth was a chance to start new, to figure out who he really was rather than who he'd been designed or forced to be.

She nibbled the end of her quill pen. He hadn't spoken to her in days. The last she'd been able to contact him he'd told her Hitomi had an accident while racing, so he was trying to help her, while at the same time prepare for some huge takeover bid at his company. She hoped he was doing well, that he was figuring out who he really was. The sound of laughter echoing in the hall pulled her from her thoughts.

"Does it have to be a royal ball? Couldn't it be more like… just a party? You know, with lots of food, and pretty clothes…"

Van's voice cut off Merle's ramblings. "Doesn't a royal ball fall under party? With lots of food and pretty clothes?"

"No. The dresses people have to wear are huge and fluffy and horrible. I don't want to have to look like a giant puffball or a cake on my birthday!" Merle's indignation caused Van to break out into more laughter.

Celena smiled. Merle had clawed, cajoled, and scratched Van out of the shell he'd been living in for those few weeks after Hitomi left. He was very nearly himself again, and hearing that the two old friends were planning Merle's eighteenth birthday was more than amusing. Van wanted to throw his very-nearly-sister an official royal ball, considering that she was as close to royal family as Fanelia had. Merle on the other hand wanted a less formal celebration.

It was terribly nice to hear siblings bickering again.

* * *

Hitomi lay on the couch in the living room. She was under strict orders from her doctor, her mother, her father, her brother, and Dilandau not to move unless absolutely necessary. Which was fine by her. During the day her mother would stop by once or twice to make sure she was doing alright and had food and juice and rather annoyingly she would ask if her help was needed to get the washroom. Hitomi sighed. That was slightly annoying. On the other hand, it was probably preferable to Dilandau's glare whenever he saw her standing, even when she was headed in the direction of the bathroom.

The day she was released from the hospital, her father had helped her into the apartment, and down the hall to her room. That night, the first time she hobbled down the hallway with her crutches to the kitchen, she could have sworn Dilandau looked about ready to pick her up and carry her wherever it is she wanted to go. Looking back, the nasty glare she gave him when he started to move towards her was probably overkill. She could have just said she didn't need help.

But her realization that she actually had _feelings_ for Dilandau: real, actual, romantic-type feelings, terrified her in some ways. She was absolutely, totally not prepared to do the whole relationship thing again so soon. She couldn't be. Her heart still felt tired and heavy. She needed her independence for a little while. Maybe after proving to herself that she was happy on her own she'd consider acting on those… feelings. Maybe.

There was a little part of her that could still see the Dilandau she'd known all those years ago. Bloodthirsty and near psychotic. There were moments when even now she wasn't entirely sure he had a conscience. Did she really want to get tangled up in that? Being friends, even best friends, was still a flying leap away from what one had to face being in a relationship. Maybe she was just being cynical, but it certainly seemed that lately relationships were being out the worst in people.

She sighed, shaking her head to clear her wandering thoughts. She stared for a moment at the pile of nearly-untouched textbooks stacked on the table. She had several papers she could work on. Somehow Dilly had managed to cut deals with all her professors to let her off on missing a couple weeks of classes due to her injury. However, she still had many days left before she had to hand in said papers. Decisively, Hitomi grabbed the television remote and flipped through the channels. Why was there so little on at 3:30 in the afternoon?

* * *

Dilandau pulled open the door, finally home. He let out a frustrated sigh. Yes, this new job gave him all sorts of privileges and much more money, but for some reason people expected him to be stressed out about things. He shook his head, it was as if they didn't know that the first rule of battle is to keep your head. He knew. Thanks to the combined effects of whatever those sorcerers had done to him and stress, he'd lost his more often than not. And now he had his fair share of memories he'd rather not dwell upon.

He glared at his shoes as he tossed them into the closet. Worse though, was the way they lied to each other. Everyone knew they were attempting to buy out another major company. Everyone knew this other major company wanted to be bought out. So what was with all the red tape? It wasn't even battle, it was… politics. And he was no politician. He was barely even a diplomat. Everything he knew about manipulating people he'd picked up from other people: Folken, Celena… He bit his lip. He was letting his job ruin his life. He wasn't about to end up one of those people who's working all the time. Especially not when this particular train of thoughts all flowed back to a place he'd rather forget existed at all.

He stepped into the living room. Hitomi sat on the couch, in nearly the same spot he'd left her in that morning. She was focused on the television. "Whatcha watchin'?" he asked lazily. He blinked when she turned her head to face him. Hitomi looked about ready to cry. "Sad movie?" he asked, a little shocked. They'd watched plenty of sad movies, and rarely had he ever seen her cry over them.

She shook her head. "It's a documentary. On sharks." She turned her head to face the television screen again. "Its terrible. Do you know what they do to those poor sharks?"

Dilandau just stared at her. "You're about to cry over sharks?" He asked incredulously. Maybe there was more hope for him than he thought. "Aren't sharks, you know, big and scary and mean?"

Hitomi never shifted her gaze. "No. People are I think. Do you know what they do?" She turned her head, her voice rising. Dilandau smirked slightly, that was her indignant voice. She was about to enlighten him on yet another thing wrong with the world. Time to add to the pile of all the gender role lectures from last year.

"First, they catch the sharks on these long lines, on hooks, and leave them there for hours. Sometimes they die because they get so tangled up in the lines they can't move. But the unlucky ones don't die. Because when the fishermen come back, they cut the fins off and then chuck the poor, bleeding, finless shark back into the ocean to bleed to death." Hitomi stared at him with wide, passionate eyes. "For soup." She finished weakly.

Dilandau blinked. "But…they're sharks."

Hitomi froze. "Just sharks? If all the sharks die, all the little fish will go out of control and eat all the plankton. And according to this scientist, plankton make most of the oxygen we breathe!"

"So…I guess you don't want shark for supper then?" Dilandau dodged the pillow Hitomi chucked at his head with a smirk.

* * *

Dilandau sat along one side of the long table, surrounded by his co-workers. Along the other side of the table were their equivalents from the company they were buying out. They all sat quietly, respectfully. Inside his head he was making up background stories for everyone sitting around him. It was the only way he could stay sane at these ridiculous meetings.

He wanted to fiddle with the spoon sitting on the table, but that would be disruptive. He wanted to talk to these people as people, but for some odd reason, that would be looked down on. For some reason or another, this whole corporate big-shot thing was starting to wear thin.

He nearly rolled his eyes when the soup bowls were finally set down in front of them. He nodded appreciatively. He was starving. He stared down at the bowl into the soup's murky depths. For some odd reason it looked rather like… shark fin soup. The boss from the other company announced it proudly, setting all the men around Dilandau into excited chatter. Dilandau continued staring down into the bowl.

Very gently, discreetly in fact, he pushed the bowl a few inches away from him. Unfortunately he chose to move it the very second the chatter died down, and the soup bowl screeched across the hardwood table. Everyone looked up from their soup to stare at him, purposely shoving one of the most expensive (and most respected) dishes money could buy away from him – untouched.

"What's the matter Albatou?" One of his co-workers asked. "Your soup got teeth in it?" Dilandau glared dully at the man. It was of course the same person who was trying to out compete him for the promotion. The little voice in the back of his head wondered how the soup could have teeth when the teeth never left the sharks, and the sharks got thrown back in to bleed.

"I'm just not fond of shark." He heard himself reply.

"You've had it prepared wrong then. This is by one of the best chefs in all Japan. You'll like this." The boss from the other company said with a smile and a nod.

Dilandau attempted to nod and had every intention of letting this go and eating the soup. "I just don't believe in eating shark. Many of them are endangered species." He wanted to clap a hand over his mouth. What was he doing? Shark fin soup was a sign of respect; if he kept this up he was going to get demoted rather than promoted.

"I don't believe that." One of his co-workers cut in, the same one who'd asked about the teeth. Dilandau did manage to suppress his desire to roll his eyes. "I think all those environmentalists make it up. After all, sharks are strong, fierce, and dangerous. Very dangerous. They can't be hurt. And even if they can, they deserve to die. They are murderers. Cold hearted and relentless."

Dilandau stared the man in the eyes, and suddenly something clicked. Alright, sharks were strong, fierce and dangerous. Rather like how he was back on Gaea. The other men around the table nodded and smiled, remarking on the correctness of his coworker's statement. Cold hearted ruthless murders. Wasn't that exactly what he had been?

But he could be hurt. In fact, from all that time on Gaea before Celena took over, all he could remember now was feeling hurt. And the fact that he'd been a ruthless killer, did that mean he should die too? He stared around the table. These men would think that wouldn't they? Despite all the dirty, back handed deals they made, despite their seeming complete lack of ethics or morals, the fact that they themselves had never killed made them faultless?

He didn't say anything. Outwardly, he remained composed, contemplative. He didn't touch the soup.

Dilandau stormed into the apartment that night. He was seething with anger. At himself for probably ruining his chances at the promotion and the raise, at those arrogant men who believed they knew everything about the world, at the world and life itself for being the cruelest thing he'd ever known.

He shed his black leather jacket, and his suit jacket, leaving them on the chair in the corner of the living room. Without a glance at Hitomi whom he knew was staring at him wide-eyed, he rolled up his shirt sleeves and pulled out one of his swords. With practiced ease he whipped it from its scabbard and with the grace of a tiger he fought viciously with an opponent who wasn't there.

* * *

Hitomi blinked when Dilandau stormed into the room. She hadn't seen him like this in a long time. His eyes were burning, the red brighter than usual, flaring up into something near flames. She didn't really want to admit that she felt more than a little like a moth at the moment, attracted to the flame, though afraid of it still.

She watched him with the sword, her mouth hanging slightly open. In all the time he'd taught her how to sword fight, she'd never seen him like this. He looked dangerous, and… alright, he looked more than attractive. After a day of television and half-hearted attempts at reading and essays, he was more than enough of a sight to make her drool. His dress shirt clung to his chest slightly, his silver bangs plastered against his forehead. She swallowed slightly, pulling her eyes away, but feeling them irrevocably drawn back.

Finally, he stilled, his breathe coming in tense pants. She found her voice. "I take it the dinner didn't go so well then?" She asked softly.

He stood facing her, though he didn't bring his eyes to meet her gaze. "You could say that." He slid the sword back into its scabbard. "They served shark fin soup." Hitomi blinked nervously. "I didn't eat it." She released a soft breathe she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"All I could think of," he continued, "was how they described the shark." He raised his burning eyes to Hitomi's. "A cold hearted, ruthless murderer." Hitomi felt herself lick her suddenly terribly dry lips, seared by his intense gaze. "Like me." He finished, staring her in the eyes. "In their eyes, the sharks don't deserve to live." His voice was husky with emotion; pure fury really. "They never realize that the way the go through life, ignoring anything actually important, so wrapped up in their pathetic power struggles, they're far more heartless than anything else ever could be."

Hitomi felt herself holding her breathe again. Part of her almost desperately wanted to go to him, to wrap her arms around him. But she held back, only partly for her ankle's sake.

Dilandau tossed his sword down, his eyes following it. He let out a long, low breathe. "I think," he said softly, turning his eyes back to Hitomi's, "some part of me will always be who I was. But I remembered tonight that maybe that person wasn't the worst a human can be."

Hitomi stared into his eyes, if she let herself, she could be consumed by that fire. But would she simply be burnt? Dilandau left the room, leaving his jackets behind. Hitomi sat in slight shock. On some level, she felt like he had revealed some important part of himself. He trusted her then… he wanted her to know the real him. She leaned against the couch. Why didn't his fire seem to scare her anymore?

That nebulous "they" he had described; was he now lumping his coworkers into the same pile as the sorcerers who'd controlled him? Hitomi blinked, did he think he was becoming like them? "Sharks aren't heartless," she whispered softly. "It's the people who eat them that are." And Dilandau hadn't actually taken that bite.

The metaphor wasn't perfect, she knew. In the end, sharks were only fish. Dilandau Albatou. Well, he was the man she was falling in love with wasn't he?

* * *

_Hey everyone…ok, time to explain the shark metaphor. First off, I am in fact a marine biology student, and so obviously I'm all for saving the sharks. Secondly, sharks just seemed like the right animal for Dilly – I mean, the whole stereotype of crazed killer, but then the truth comes out – that is only what they are made out to be like (like how Dilly was made to be the insane killer by the evil sorcerers). I dunno, it just seemed like a good way for Dilly to suddenly realize that he does have a heart, and he does have a conscience, and if he actually gave them up, he'd be like the sorcerers or the corrupt, immoral heads of big business (not to say all are, but I'm sure there are some). So yeah…there you have it. Hope it makes sense. _


	40. Chapter 40

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_So it's come to my attention that Merle's birthday is apparently June 30th. (Yeah, good job checking that **after** writing several chapters of planning her party taking place in the autumn. Pats self on back here.) Umm…so in the interests of the story, I'm changing her birthday… (hides while diehard fans berate her)… yup… so, for this story, Merle's birthday is sometime in November._

* * *

_**Chapter 40: The Kiss**_

Hitomi stretched her body, squirming in her seat. It felt very strange to be back in class finally. Six weeks of bed rest (or couch rest really) and plunging back into real life felt like a dream. She gazed at the clock on the wall, more or less ignoring the mumbled ramblings of her professor. There were just a few minutes left of class; she sighed softly, shoving her books into her backpack, and pulling her crutches towards her. She needed all the time she could get to make it to her next class in time.

It was sweet; she thought softly, how nice the other people from the track team were. They were always stopping and talking to her or helping her carry her books to get to her next class. It was sweet, but at the same time extremely annoying. They never asked, but Hitomi could see the questions in their eyes – and their fear and pity. Would she be able to run again? Would she be able to run next season? And the pity they felt, knowing how difficult it would be to either have to start from scratch or give up altogether. And their fear: that it could have been any of them.

Hitomi shook her head, thankful for the fifth day in a row that Dilandau had chosen an apartment so close to the university. And that they'd kept the lease for this year.

* * *

Celena bit her tongue. She was more than thankful that she was supplying security for Merle's birthday ball, rather than attending it. "Is it really bad?" Merle stood before her, chewing the inside of her cheek. Her delicately furred hands clawed slightly at the restrictive fabric she was swathed in. It was a lovely shade of a pale pink – which just didn't suit her at all. "I hope Lord Van knows I'm doing this for him." She said dismally, as she turned to face her reflection once more.

Celena nodded her head weakly. "At least you just have to make an appearance. And then you get your real party the next night." Always look at the positive she thought to herself, and try not to laugh at Merle. Which was getting more difficult since Merle had begun making faces at herself in the mirror. "C'mon," She said finally, "Allow me to escort you to this ball."

Merle looked at Celena funny. "You know, its really kinda strange that you're doing the whole knight thing." Celena nodded understandingly. "I mean really," Merle continued, "why do you want to be one?"

"Well," Celena said, with a smirk, "first off, I don't have to wear big flouncy dresses." She looked teasingly at the younger woman.

Celena patrolled the outside of the ball. She looked critically at the party-goers. Mostly she saw various nobility and a few royal families. It didn't really interest her to be honest. There were other young women her age, some newly-wed, some trying to catch the eye of Van, and most gossiping ridiculously. She rolled her eyes as passed behind one collection. "Did you hear? Apparently Fanelia actually allows women to become knights!" There was a tittering of feminine laughter. "Can you imagine? A woman wanting to fight? Or wanting to know all those silly things like tactics?" More tittering followed that.

Celena sighed. She thought hard but kept her senses on the alert – after all, it was her job to protect these people – had she ever wanted to be like them? Frivolous and tied up in bows and fancy things? She sighed softly, resolving to ask Allen one of these days what she had really been like as a child. Truth to be told, she remembered Dilandau's life better than her own. And it had been a hard one. Trying to be a lady for Allen had been terrible in her eyes; after everything she'd seen, everything that she learned, how could poufy dresses and a restrained life ever be enough? At least when she fought, when she planned tactics and strategies she felt alive.

She looked a little longingly over the crowd. But would there ever be a man who would understand that? She shook her head, what was she thinking? She was young still, just twenty. And, she added irreverently, if she was ever desperate, Sir Rorkin certainly still looked at her with longing. She smiled just slightly, until her eyes fell upon an almost shocking sight – Merle was still at the ball, flouncy dress and all; her hand resting lightly upon that of a young man.

Celena stopped her patrol, peering a little more sharply. She paused, recognizing the cat-man as one of the sons of the leading family from the village where Merle had been spending time among her own people. Her smile widened, no wonder Merle had been slow coming back. She attempted to duck when Merle's eyes found her own. A hint of a blush burned on the cat-woman's features at being caught. Celena watched as Merle murmured a few last words to her suitor and strode over to where she stood. "I think I tire of this ball," Merle began, mischief in her eyes, "Will you accompany me back to my rooms good lady knight?"

Celena sat on the couch in Merle's rooms. "So what's his name?" She asked teasingly.

"Rufio." She heard Merle mutter from the next room, where she was extracting herself from the horrid dress. "I didn't know he was coming to the ball." Celena smirked at the hint of pleasure she heard in Merle's voice. "But I told him I expect to see him at my real party tomorrow."

She reentered the room Celena sat in, her eyes lit up brightly. "I hope he comes." She murmured softly.

* * *

Sure enough he did, Celena thought with a smile, observing the much more relaxed atmosphere of Merle's real party. She relaxed slightly, not letting her guard down, but also not concerned that she'd be hearing anyone rambling on stupidly about why on Gaea a woman would want to be a knight. "It's a lovely evening isn't it?" She heard a male voice by her ear.

She nodded. "It certainly is your highness." She smiled slightly at Van's slightly put-out expression. "What?" She asked teasingly. "Were you expecting to surprise me?" Her eyes glowed softly in the darkness. "What sort of knight would I make for your country if I couldn't hear the country's king walk up beside me?"

Van nodded. "Fair enough." He frowned slightly. "I don't think Merle liked the ball last night."

"Well," Celena weighed her words, wondering how much Merle would want her to tell. "She did tell you she doesn't like fluffy dresses, and her's was quite the number." Especially compared to the short, simple dress she wore tonight, dancing and spinning freely in the firelight.

"Who is she dancing with?" Van asked finally. "I saw her with him last night too…" He trailed off. Celena smiled, recognizing older brother protectiveness.

"His name is Rufio," she said softly, watching Merle and the man in question dance together. "He's the middle son of the family that leads the village Merle was living in."

Van made a non-committal sound in his throat, observing how closely the two cat-people danced. "I believe they're just friends." Celena added hastily, though she found her comment was more than ill-timed as Merle and her Rufio chose that moment to kiss. "Or not." She finished lamely, watching Van's jaw drop in shock.

* * *

Dilandau stared at the business proposal in front of him. Apparently, the company's latest acquisition was a factory in one of China's smaller provinces: a textile factory employing several hundred of the region's poorer families. And paying them less than fairly. Dilandau ran his hand agitatedly through his hair. What he couldn't figure out was why the business proposal didn't propose to pay the worker's more.

He glared at the papers before him, his boss's voice ignored. How could these people do this? This wasn't battle, or war, this was slavery. He looked up briefly, taking in the darkly eager faces of his co-workers. He shook his head; he was by no means the perfect person. He hadn't even considered himself as being the type with much of a conscience. But there was a difference between talking people into buying a few extra articles of clothing they didn't necessarily need and practically enslaving them.

"So what I'm thinking," one of his co-workers interjected excitedly, "We up the wages of the people running the factory, and then they'll be more likely to get the most work out of the lower employees."

"That's not fair." Dilandau tried very hard not to slap himself. Why was he doing this? First with the sharks and now with the people? What was happening to him?

"Not fair?" His boss enquired, an eyebrow raised. "Becoming a humanitarian as well as an environmentalist, Albatou?" There was nothing sinister in the man's voice, but Dilandau could hear the disappointment. Disappointment that the supposedly ruthless Albatou, wasn't actually so ruthless as he was being paid to be.

How to fix this, how to fix this, how to keep his job? "It's not fair to our shareholders." He replied smoothly. "Wouldn't it make more sense to fire the people already holding the supervisor roles?" He looked around the table. All eyes were on him, though they regarded him suspiciously. He glared right back.

"You see," he said softly, "If I've read these papers right, the reason we were able to buy the factory out was that the current supervisors were slacking, lowering productivity. By firing them, we make an example of their laziness, and an indirect threat. By promoting some of the lower employees, we inspire hope into the lower employees, inspiring them to work harder. We don't have to spend any more money – since no one actually gets a raise. But everyone involved feels like they've gained." He hated himself right now. He hated the smooth silk texture of his voice, dooming these innocent people to continued poverty. He hated himself for not saying what he really meant. He hated himself for being one of _them._

"Brilliant Albatou!" He heard his boss exclaim. "And here I was afraid you were going weak on us." The man's laughter fell emptily on Dilandau. Dilandau smirked darkly, even though inside his head he was screaming at himself.

* * *

"It was a kiss! Just one little kiss!" Merle exclaimed. "Why on earth are you angry? You and Hitomi were kissing when you were 18! Why should I have to have special rules?"

Van spun on his heel, "You're a lady!" He exclaimed to Merle's face. "You're supposed to act with propriety!"

"And you're a king!" The cat-girl shrieked back. "And look at all the scandals around you! First, you make a woman from a different _planet_ you're fiancé, then you take her to bed with you, and then you let _her_ break off your engagement!" She glared her childhood friend, "Why do you expect me to live so differently from you?"

Van stared at Merle for a long moment. He was suddenly reminded of a conversation he'd had a long time ago. He sighed. He'd advised Allen that his sister wouldn't be all that likely to be different from him. He looked at Merle: she was right of course. Why did he expect his little sister to be so very different from him?

"I'm sorry, Merle." He murmured softly. "You're right."

Merle looked at him slightly bug-eyed. "What?"

"You're right." He replied. "The only reason I don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did, is because I don't want you to get hurt." He smiled weakly. "But I guess we all have to make our own mistakes and take our own chances."

Merle nodded. "Rufio wants to take me back to the village," she said softly. "I think he's going to ask me to marry him." Her eyes didn't meet his when she said this.

Van looked at Merle for a long moment. She wasn't the annoying kitten he'd grown up with anymore. She was older, wiser and calmer than she had once been. He nodded decisively, and he'd noticed that her thoughts had sometimes seemed to be somewhere else. Her loyalty wasn't just his anymore, and somehow, he'd guessed it all along.

He gently tapped Merle under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Do you love him?" He asked her.

Merle looked at Van for a long moment. For most of her life she had loved only Van. She nodded softly, "I do love him." She whispered softly.

"Then you have my blessing." He said, the smile on his lips reaching his eyes. "But he better be aware that it will have to be a fancy wedding held here in the palace." He laughed when Merle began to roll her eyes. "He needs to know he's marrying my sister."

Van sat alone in his room. He stared mournfully out the window at the full moon and the large planet that filled the sky. He sighed deeply. Merle, his little, annoying Merle, was getting married. Somehow, some part of him had always thought that Merle would always be there for him, always be loyal to him first and foremost.

He hung his head slightly. Maybe his advisors were right. Maybe it was time he start looking for a real queen for Fanelia. He was getting so tired of always being alone.

* * *

Hitomi stood in the kitchen. She found that she could manage without the crutches if she balanced herself just so. She smiled softly, she was making dinner, and as of yet it hadn't become ruined. In fact, it smelt wonderful. The fragrant smell wafted throughout the apartment. It might not turn out quite as excellent as Dilandau's cooking, but she felt that this here was a personal best.

She frowned slightly at the supper plates set out on the counter. The one thing she couldn't figure out how to do was set the table, so Dilly would have to do that for her. She shrugged. At least he'd be sure to appreciate not having to make supper after having to stay late at work.

* * *

Dilandau leaned against the wall of the elevator, his eyes half closed. He was exhausted. He'd been fighting with himself all day over what was moral, and what was right, and exactly how much he could get away with on the basis that he needed to keep his job. It wasn't easy seeing as how he'd never been trained to deal with this sort of question. He watched the floor numbers flash slowly, bringing him to a stop on the floor he and Hitomi lived on.

He dragged himself down the hallway, dreading the fact that he'd now have to make supper and continue to pretend not to be hopelessly in love with Hitomi. He sighed, it all sounded so energy-draining at this point. He paused in front of the apartment door, debating if maybe he could just disappear for a while. He'd seen traces of appreciation from Hitomi in the past few weeks, but it never seemed to be enough.

He wanted her. To be his, to be in his arms, to fall asleep beside him at night. And every second it seemed that the… _need_ he had to have her increased. He rested his forehead against the door, taking a deep breathe and trying to compose his restless thoughts. At least, if there was anything good to come of this, thoughts of Hitomi simply vapourized all his thoughts of work.

Slowly he opened the door, hoping he'd composed himself enough to ignore her presence as being the one that drove him insane. He expected that she would be lounging on the couch as usual, waiting for him to come home, to make supper, to fulfill her every desire of him – though she never seemed to catch on to that last one. Instead the fragrant smell of food met his nose.

Confused he pulled off his shoes and shed his jacket in the hall. He wandered into the kitchen, almost shocked to see Hitomi staring into a pot of rice. "Hey you." She said, without turning around. "I know you said you'd be home late, so I figured I would make supper. I owe you at least a few meals." She turned to face him, a slightly awkward movement, since her leg was still encased in plaster. She smiled brightly at him, "You do so much for me, I figured I could return that favour at least a little." She frowned slightly, "Though I still need you to set the table."

Dilandau stared at her in shock. Her smile was so bright, when it turned into that slightly pouty frown he ached. His eyes were riveted on her lips. So she did notice how much he did for her? She'd made supper? He found himself staring at her almost helplessly. "Are you alright, Dilly?" she asked softly, as he watched her lick her lips a little nervously, unsure of what was wrong.

Hitomi felt herself licking her lips nervously. She'd seen a great many looks from Dilandau. He never seemed to realize just how expressive his eyes really were. The way they blazed away at her. She licked her lips again; he was staring at her so… hungrily. A whispered thought in her head made her realize how desperately she had wanted him to look at her this way. How badly she wanted him to kiss her, to touch her. How long have I wanted this? She felt herself asking, even as he moved towards her like a man possessed.

Dilandau wasn't sure what exactly was possessing him to move closer to Hitomi. By all rights he should say something amusing or sarcastic, and break this spell they seemed to be under. He should leave the room before he did something he'd regret. He shouldn't touch her, he shouldn't kiss her. And he knew, even as he unconsciously ran his tongue along his lips, that that was exactly what he was about to do. Maybe it was the way she was looking back at him. She looked vaguely nervous, but her eyes were drawing him in, the emerald green almost begging for his touch.

Hitomi felt her breathe catch in her throat when Dilandau was only inches from her. Her eyes never left his. He was like a predator. A predator with flames in his eyes. He was burning she realized softly, feeling for a moment like the heroine of some smutty romance novel; he was burning for her.

Dilandau knew he should stop. He should break the gaze between them, the gaze that locked them together. So he did, his eyes darting momentarily to her lips, which were softly pink and so very inviting. No, he thought desperately, there is too tempting. His eyes met Hitomi's again, and then he realized how very close they were. Hitomi's back to the counter behind her, his arms on either side of her, trapping her to him. He could feel her breath faintly, humid and warm across his lips. There was no stopping this now, he realized.

The kiss was gentle at first. The barest brushing of lips: warm and soft against each other. Teasing and tempting, and seeking permission. One of Dilandau's hands found itself tangled in Hitomi's hair, pulling her closer to him. And somehow she seemed more than willing to be there.

Hitomi first felt she couldn't ever breathe again. The feeling of Dilandau's lips against hers, so gentle she felt it would kill her, and his hand tangled in her hair, pulling her closer to him sent every thought scattering. All there was in this moment was them. She felt his tongue brush against her lips, sending a thrill racing through her as she leaned deeper into the kiss. Her hands ran up his chest, the soft fabric of his dress shirt under her fingertips, and interlaced around his neck. Needing him, wanting this so badly she felt she was on fire herself.

* * *

_Well, I'm proud of myself: Hitomi and Dilly finally kissed! It only took 40 chapters to get here! LOL… hmm, so now I need help again. What do you people think? Should there be any more pitfalls in Hitomi and Dilly's romance, or should I just give them a happy ending? And… if I were to write a sequel… would anyone read it? It would probably take place about twelve years later in time than this chapter here._


	41. Chapter 41

_**What happens when it fades?**_

_Yes, the chapter title is borrowed from Sarah McLachlan. But the song suits the chapter so very well… I really can't think of a title that would suit it better. Enjoy!_

* * *

**_Chapter 41: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy_**

Hitomi first felt she couldn't ever breathe again. The feeling of Dilandau's lips against hers, so gentle she felt it would kill her, and his hand tangled in her hair, pulling her closer to him, sent every thought scattering. All there was in this moment was them. She felt his tongue brush against her lips, sending a thrill racing through her as she leaned deeper into the kiss. Her hands ran up his chest, the soft fabric of his dress shirt under her fingertips, and interlaced around his neck. Needing him, wanting this so badly she felt she was on fire herself.

When his lips pulled away from hers, her eyes fluttered open. Emerald eyes met ruby. The pair were breathing heavily, the sound of air being taken in sounded harsh and sensual in their ears. Dilandau let his hand slip from Hitomi hair to trace her cheek. His eyes bored into her own; asking, demanding, or pleading, Hitomi was never sure which. Roughly, his lips met hers again, this time with a passion she'd never felt from any man before. She gasped softly, as he traced fiery kisses down her neck, her eyes closed; lost in pleasure she'd only dreamed of.

Deftly, Dilandau reached out with his free hand and turned the oven off. Tonight, supper would wait.

"Dilandau." Hitomi whispered hoarsely in his arms, pulling his neck to her mouth and nipping his neck lightly. Dilandau strangled a growl deep in his throat, returning to the original plan: to kiss Hitomi's lips. He shifted slightly, a leg bumping against Hitomi's cast. He blinked, pulling away from her suddenly, wide eyed.

Hitomi was smiling at him, an apologetic look in her eyes. "It does come off later this week…" She trailed off. Dilandau tried not to hear the promise in that simple sentence, instead leaning in to capture Hitomi's lips in another kiss. He pulled away slowly, absorbed in the turbulent lust that shone in her green eyes. This was a dream, wasn't it?

Randomly his stomach growled. He blinked slightly as Hitomi giggled in his arms, still pinned to the counter by his body. "Did you skip lunch again?" She whispered against his shoulder, "Because supper is ready. Well, if it's not cold already." Laughter echoed in her voice. Dilandau pulled away, gazing deeply into Hitomi's eyes. She looked happy. Happy to be in his arms, happy to be near him. His breathe caught in his throat, _this wasn't a dream._

Supper was strangely awkward, a blend of the comfortable feeling they'd shared for so long now, and a shy excitement. Every time their eyes met, they would hold each other's gaze for a long promise-filled moment, before dropping their gazes shyly. It was sweet in a way neither had ever really experienced before. It was also oddly sickening to both of them – after everything life had thrown at them, neither was really the type to sugar-coat anything.

The last thing Hitomi wanted was another relationship built on false promises and sweet dreams. She scraped her fork across her plate, wondering if it was right to want something more real, more… raw in its nature. She lifted her eyes one last time, promising herself that if they shared one more sappy gaze, she was snapping them out of it.

Dilandau was staring at her, as she'd expected. But his eyes weren't conveying a sticky sweet emotion. He was regarding her with a warm gaze, but it was one that spoke more of respect then puppy-dog devotion. She opened her mouth for a moment, wanting to ask a question that hadn't really formed yet in her mind. She closed her mouth without saying anything. Whatever it was she wanted to ask or say, she had a feeling she needed to say it properly.

"I love you." Dilandau said suddenly. Hitomi's breathe caught in her throat. "I know I shouldn't tell you that so soon," he said, his trademark smirk across his lips, "I'm supposed to be good and wait to tell you that until we have some proper relationship of some sort." The smirk faltered for a moment. "But there are some things you need to know about me Hitomi, before whatever tonight is becomes anything more." Hitomi nodded numbly. Whatever her unformed question had been, she had a feeling that he was about to answer it.

"I'm not a hero." He said softly. "I don't ever intend to be one. I'm not the good guy, no matter how you paint me. I'll always do things in my own way, and there are times I'm afraid that way won't always meet your expectations." Hitomi couldn't tear her eyes away from Dilandau's even if she'd wanted to. His crimson eyes burned into her own, telling her things she did and didn't want to hear. But mostly he told her that he'd loved her for years now, that he wanted to be with her, that there were moments of the day where he felt he couldn't go another moment without touching her. That he wanted that moment in the kitchen to mean something.

Earnestly he leaned across the table and told her of terrible things he'd done, from those done in the war to the stupid thing he'd said that very day at work. He wasn't a good person; he didn't think he ever really would be one. One day he'd pick a fight, and when he did he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop. That she, Hitomi Kanzaki, had changed him in ways he'd never thought possible. That for her, he wanted to try. Without her, he would have been lost.

Hitomi stared across the table at Dilandau as he finished what he hadn't intended to be a speech. She was slightly dumbfounded, and there was a small voice in her head that wondered if she really knew what she was doing. But it was a much larger voice that took control of her lips.

"I believe you're a better man than you think you are, Dilandau." She said softly, but firmly. "You know when you do wrong, and you regret it every time. And one day I think you'll finally find yourself a position where you can stop forcing yourself to do such things." He looked ready to say something but Hitomi glared at him darkly. "I'm not finished."

"I know you. Better than you think I do. And I've been watching you for weeks now, considering everything you do, and puzzling over why you do it. And I realized something." She smiled gently. "I love you too."

The days and weeks that followed flowed by. The couple wondered often when, if ever, they had felt happier. Certainly they argued, but making up could be so much sweeter than anything else that it always seemed that what they had together was so good, it had to be a dream. But it never was. And every morning, when Hitomi woke up to find herself entangled in Dilandau's embrace, she marveled over the strange twists and turns of life. But mostly she would snuggle closer to him, nipping slightly at his neck until he woke up to glare at her hungrily with his predator's eyes, and she would never question why on earth this felt so very right.

* * *

Van listened half-heartedly to his council. They were rambling on about the border dispute with some lord that nearly nothing was known about. He rolled his eyes. A lord against a kingdom, was it really such a question who would win this battle in the end? He sighed audibly, inadvertently silencing the room.

"Your highness?" A counselor seated near him asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My apologies," Van said quickly, "Carry on please." Really he meant shut up, but somehow he figured that might not go over very well.

"My lord," one of his older advisors cut in, sensing a potentially good time to change the subject, "I was looking into the issue of finding Fanelia a suitable bride."

For some reason Van could feel his body betraying an increase in interest. It wasn't that he wanted to start the parade of "suitable" ladies, nor that he particularly wanted a council-picked bride, but Merle's wedding was in just a month, and he was feeling so incredibly lonely.

"It seems that the royal family of Daedalus has a daughter of the age to marry…" the advisor began.

"I thought the princess of Daedalus was married last year?" Van cut in irritatedly.

"That was the eldest daughter; this is the younger one, the princess Sarita." The advisor seemed pleased to have any response from the young king. "I've heard she is beautiful and sweet of temperament, if a bit independent."

Van stared at the advisor. Silently he was asking the advisor how to meet the girl, though he refused to say a word. It was a matter of pride really.

"We could invite the princess to Fanelia." His tone was warm, though it betrayed the amusement the elderly advisor was gathering from the expression on his king's face. The young man looked torn between eagerness and sulky reluctance. The old man shook his head, from what he had heard, the two young people might actually do well together.

* * *

Celena entered the room quietly. The man sitting stiffly by the window didn't notice her entrance. "Your highness?" She said softly, addressing the king as any knight of Fanelia should.

She could remember the ceremony vividly. It was in many ways the cutting of her last ties to any past life she still felt attached too. By pledging her very life to protect the country Dilandau had destroyed, the man he had sworn to kill, she was establishing herself as her own person. She was drawing the line between herself and him. She had known by then that he had finally won Hitomi.

Sometimes, in the morning, she would reach out with her mind to touch his. She could feel the strange mix of emotions Hitomi inspired in him: respect, love, a hint of frustration at times, and so many other things. It left her feeling hollow, lonely, and unnecessary, and she pulled away from those thoughts as if burnt. She knew that he woke up with Hitomi at his side. Celena woke up alone.

But Celena was a knight. She commanded respect, more even than other knights because she was the only female. And she was the best. Sharper, keener, smarter, faster. She was untouchable in a swordfight, unbeatable in tactics. And despite any insecurity she felt personally, those around her never saw anything but her strength. And she knew all this. Which was why she was here today.

"Celena!" Van replied, clearly startled. "You surprised me." He frowned softly, "And you know you can just call me Van. You're not just some knight, you're my friend."

At this Celena smiled gratefully. "But I have a request you might not like, so I need to approach this with the most ceremony possible."

At this Van forehead creased slightly. He had a princess arriving in three days, his adopted sister was getting married in two weeks, and Celena had a request he might not like? Did she have terrible timing for any specific reason?

"I know that one of your ministers is retiring." She began. "Your minister of war and defense to be specific." Van raised an eyebrow, suddenly sensing where this conversation was leading.

"And I know you're looking for a replacement." Celena continued. She didn't take a deep breathe, in fact, she gave no outward signs of weakness, only a calm, collected visage. "I want to be that replacement." She paused for a moment, as if to gauge the situation. "You know there's no one better at tactics and strategy than I am. You know you won't regret it if you do appoint me."

"Actually," Van began quietly, "I have a slightly different position for you in mind." He savoured the faint changes in Celena's carefully controlled features, as she itched to argue with him. "I was thinking something along the lines of minister of foreign intelligence and homeland security." He smiled brightly.

Celena wrinkled her nose slightly. "Isn't that just a fancy way of saying minister of war and defense?"

"Well, basically." Van admitted. "But it has a better, more cooperative sound to it, don't you think?"

Celena left the room with a smile. She was victorious. And Fanelia's first female government official.

* * *

Hitomi watched the television screen lazily. She lay with her head resting on Dilandau's thigh, just as they had for so many movie nights in the past. The only difference being that now Dilandau's hand alternated between being tangled in her hair and resting on her various other body parts. That and the kissing. And the things kissing could lead to.

Hitomi shifted her gaze to Dilandau's face. She watched him watch the flickering screen, tracing his features with her eyes. She knew he knew she was watching him, she could tell by the way the corner of his lips twitched, itching to smirk down at her. It was his stubbornness that kept him for doing it. It was a challenge really, could she distract him?

He relented finally, greeted by the sight of Hitomi sticking her pink tongue out at him. "Why you…" he growled softly before capturing her lovely pink mouth with his.

* * *

Dilandau shifted himself slightly, unwilling to disturb Hitomi who currently slept with her head resting on his chest. Her honey locks spread across his chest, rising and falling with his breath. She was beautiful. He ran a hand across her shoulder gently, savouring the soft smoothness of her skin.

There were times he couldn't believe that she was his. Their relationship had progressed a little quickly. He hadn't really meant to jump into bed with her, but somehow it had always seemed right. Every kiss, every touch, every push and pull in their relationship was wanted by both of them. It all fell into place. They were exactly what each other needed. She knew exactly how to infuriate him, how to make him smile, how to nibble his ear just enough to want her more than anything else in this world or any other.

He felt more than lucky. Though he wondered sometimes if it was luck, or just persistence that had really come through for him. He knew Hitomi better than anyone, for the simple reason that he was certain no one had ever tried to know her as well as he did. He wanted to be there for her, and he wanted to make her smile every chance he got. She deserved the best as far as he was concerned. So the best of him was what she would get.

He smirked, gazing down at the angelic repose of his lover. He wasn't really sleepy tonight for some reason or another. His eyes burned slightly in the darkness of the night, as he lightly ran his fingernails up Hitomi's bare back, enjoying the way her body reacted to his touch even as her dark eyes opened grudgingly and glared at him. "You better be planning on finishing that." She whispered darkly.

Dilandau just smiled. Yes, more than lucky described his feelings exactly.

* * *

Dilandau stared at Hitomi from across the room. He'd had yet another ridiculously terrible day at work and here she was, yelling at him for something he wasn't even sure he'd done, as she hadn't actually explained what it was he'd supposedly done. He glared at her, anger simmering behind his fiery eyes. "You still haven't explained what I've done." He hissed.

"Then you're an idiot! I told you yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that! You know exactly why I'm angry, and you're just being stubborn!" Hitomi yelled at him from across the room.

Dilandau rolled his eyes. "I think you're being the stubborn one here." He snarled, his patience snapping, already tried fiercely by the selfish idiots he worked with.

"Don't you make this about me." Hitomi's voice lowered, glaring at him just as angrily as he glared at her. "According to you I'm wonderful just the way I am, so what? Are you lying all the time?"

Dilandau fought very hard to keep his temper, but couldn't stop himself from closing the distance between them. "You think I'm lying?"

"Do you even really love me?" Hitomi hissed. "Or am I just what's convenient?"

At that Dilandau snapped, grabbing Hitomi's wrist and pulling her close enough that she could feel his breath on her face. "I love you more than you could ever know." He growled at her, covering her resisting lips with his own.

Hitomi struggled for a moment, trying to keep her anger alive. The only problem was the same one she encountered every time she and Dilandau fought. The second his lips touched hers the anger seemed to shift to desire and she simply couldn't think. There was only him and her, and whatever they'd done wrong was forgotten as quickly as their clothing seemed to disappear.

Dilandau breathed deeply, trying to satisfy the craving for oxygen his body seemed to feel. Hitomi lay beside him, panting softly. He pulled her body towards him gently, wrapping his arms around her. "You know we didn't even make it to the bedroom this time?" He said softly.

Hitomi's soft giggle was the exact reply he'd been hoping for. "I can't help it that you look so good when you're angry." She replied.

"And what were we so angry about exactly?" He asked, lifting his head to meet her emerald eyes, hoping this time for the answer he'd failed to get before.

"Umm… I actually forget why I was angry with you." Hitomi said softly, leaning over him now and tracing his jaw with her fingertips.

Dilandau sighed, letting his head fall back to hit the floor. Yes, it had to be persistence. There was simply no one who could love this infuriating woman as much as he could. He groaned softly as Hitomi began peppering his neck with kisses. "You're insatiable," he whispered softly.

"Mmhm." The woman replied. "But its one of the reasons you love me."

* * *

Van felt his mouth fall open as the princess stepped out of her carriage. He struggled to close it again, but it was a challenge indeed, as Princess Sarita was in fact the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her dark hair flowed down past her shoulders in thick waves, her blue dress cut low enough to be provocative, but long enough in length to limit any scandal. She tossed her hair back carelessly, refusing any help to descend from the carriage. She seemed to float up to the speechless ruler of Fanelia and dipped into a slight bow.

"I'm Princess Sarita Renata Valencia." The dark-haired creature announced, obviously sizing Van up. Sarita wasn't stupid, and knew exactly where she stood. Daedalus was fairly progressive for Gaea, meaning that her elder sister and her husband would take the throne, leaving her and her younger brother to find as suitable a match as they could. Somehow ruling a country had always appealed to Sarita more than merely being a lady or a duchess. She'd already decided before leaving Daedalus that she would attempt to win this young king's heart, no matter what he looked like.

But she certainly couldn't argue with what she saw. The young man's dark hair looked like it was constantly a mess, though he was a fairly imposing figure himself. Tall and slightly wide in the shoulders, he emitted a sense of power and confidence, though his chestnut eyes betrayed the kind of strength tempered by pain and loss. Over all, Sarita rather liked what she saw.

Van stared at the women before him. On a deeper level he knew Sarita was younger than he was, only seventeen in fact. But to his eyes, she looked a vision, and his tongue was inexplicably tied. "And you are King Van Slanzar de Fanel, correct?" The woman said with a smile that Van felt himself returning. It was innocent and endearing, the warmth in the woman's personality was evident in that smile.

"Correct," he heard himself say. "Forgive me, I was rendered speechless at the sight of you. I was told you were beautiful, but I was less than prepared." He wondered where exactly this charm was suddenly coming from. Hadn't he always been the tactless one? He admired the way Sarita's cheeks looked flushed with a blush, and put it down to the fact that one can't help but speak prettily when presented with the beautiful woman who was going to be your wife.

* * *

Celena watched Van and Sarita dancing at the welcoming ball. The couple had been chatting all evening, finding each other attractive and knowing the necessity of a good marriage. They seemed eager to make things work. They shared a royal upbringing. They were perfect for each other really. Celena sighed. Wasn't that just the spiffiest thing? Merle was getting married in a little over a week. From the looks of things, a royal wedding would follow soon after that. Dilandau's thoughts, the few that still filtered their way to her were vibrant with the emotions that he and Hitomi were sharing. Was she alone in being alone?

She found herself once again prowling the perimeter of the ball, though by all rights she didn't need to. She was being announced as the new minister shortly after Merle's wedding. Which, while soothing her ambition, would really set her even farther away from being attainable. She already knew and despised the rumours that were floating around the court, and undoubtedly, the country.

Her past had seemed to get more colourful with becoming a knight, and even more lurid with the news of her appointment as minister. She couldn't really be surprised, she'd wounded a great many men's pride and played with far too many hearts to be surprised that they would be jealous when she attained a position they could only dream of. She sighed softly, wondering if there would ever be anyone for her. She shrugged; did it matter really? She had, how would Hitomi have put it? Her career.

Young couples spun across the floor, the ladies in flowing dresses reminiscent of fancy cakes, and Celena felt no desire to be a lady. If she ever was to wear a dress, she would require one she could run in, one she could fight in. And she'd need a man who wouldn't balk at the fact that she wore pants. She shook her head, why was she dwelling on this? There were few men in the world like Dilandau, and she'd given him away freely. She sighed again. Maybe too freely.


	42. Chapter 42

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Well, someone very smart pointed out to me that things seemed a little too easy between Dilandau and Hitomi, that I was wrapping things up a little fast, and that I seemed to be slacking. Looking back, I agree. Hopefully this chapter (in which I have up-ed the drama) will be more up to snuff. But let me know, cause I love every review, and I can take a hit. (You make me make it better.) O, and btw… why the heck did everyone think Celena and Van were going to get together??? Totally was not my intention…_

* * *

**_Chapter 42: Changes_**

"What do you think of her?" A pregnant Merle asked of Celena. "I mean, she's not bad I suppose, but is she really Van's type?" Merle looked up at Celena with eyes luminous with concern.

"She's nice." Celena replied vaguely. Truth to be told, she'd been too overwhelmed with her new duties as minister to pay much attention to the Daedalian princess, or the romance that had blossomed between her and Van. "He's happier now than I've ever seen him." She answered cautiously, watching a servant girl pin Merle's hair up intricately.

Merle made a non-committal mew, and rubbed her growing belly. "I just want him to be actually happy, and not just feel like he needs to marry because the council wants him too."

Celena shook her head softly. "I don't think he likes Princess Sarita simply because the council believes it's a good match." She smirked slightly, remembering the way Van's mouth fell open every time the princess entered the room.

"Well, of course she's pretty!" Merle sighed in exasperation. "But what if she turns out to just be a terrible, scheming person after the throne only?"

Celena nodded in sympathy, she understood why Merle was worried, but the princess had never struck her as snobby or cruel. She thought back, trying to remember anything that would console Merle. "There was this one time," she began softly, "I was heading down to the stables and she was down with the horses. She was feeding one of them a carrot while another slobbered on the shoulder of her dress."

"And?" asked Merle impatiently, wondering exactly where the story was heading and why Celena had chosen this moment to share it.

"Well, she just smiled at the horse that had drooled on her." Celena smiled softly. "I'm pretty sure it was a silk dress, and she just smiled and pet the horse's nose."

Merle twitched her tail. "I still don't see your point."

"Well, if she has the patience for a silly horse who drooled on her, don't you think it's likely that she'll be patient with Fanelia?" Anyone who was nice to horses couldn't be all bad in her opinion. "And with Van?" Celena sighed softly, sinking into a chair and allowing the servant girl to fiddle with her short, unruly hair.

"Maybe." Said Merle a little sadly. "I suppose we can just hope that's the case." She stood slowly, already a little unsteady on her small feet. She walked slowly over to the mirror, smoothing her dress over her bulging belly. "I guess I should just be happy that Van got me out of the standing part of the ceremony." She smiled weakly over her shoulder at a clearly uncomfortable Celena.

Celena fidgeted, balling her hands into fists against the smooth material of her dress. "I should have just stayed a knight." She murmured, glaring at her reflection. "At least then I couldn't be ordered into wearing dresses to fancy events." She made a face at herself.

"You're the one who wanted to be a minister." Merle reminded her saucily, her tail twitching slightly beneath her skirts.

* * *

Dilandau slammed his fist into the punching bag with enough force to send pain shooting through his hand. A feral growl escaped his lips as he pictured his coworkers' smug faces in place of the bag. His job was getting to him; there were no doubts in his mind about that. The question was how much longer he could take it at work before he lost it and actually decked the man paying his salary.

At least he had his "workouts" at the gym. Though he had to admit that he wasn't sure it was enough to merely beat out his frustrations. He could feel the anger at himself even when he was with Hitomi now. He sighed heavily. Things with Hitomi weren't quite as perfect as they had been for a week or two now. It was just little things really: he was too quick to snap at her, she never said please or thank you, he didn't have time to make supper on Tuesday and she'd gone out Friday without telling him. Little things.

He hated that they seemed to be adding up to something he wasn't sure he could face. Especially when work was driving him crazy at the same time. Maybe it was just the frustration from work that was making every little thing with Hitomi so difficult. Or maybe they just didn't love each other enough.

Which was a scary thought indeed, Dilandau mused. He knew that in an instant, he'd give his life for hers. He wasn't sure he could imagine life without her. What chewed on his nerves though, was that he was pretty sure she could imagine hers without him. Dilandau threw another punch at the defenseless bag. It was the first time in a long time he really wished he had someone he could hit for real.

* * *

Hitomi sat curled like a cat on the living room couch. She was writing an essay. Or at least, that was what she was supposed to be doing. In reality she was thinking. Thinking rather hard about a certain man who just happened to share the apartment she was currently sitting in. Hitomi sighed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Maybe they had just let things progress too fast, but something wasn't quite right between them. Her mother was thrilled with their relationship of course, believing that Hitomi and Dilandau would now have the fairy tale ending she'd been planning for her daughter since she'd first met the well-mannered, dress shirt-wearing Dilandau several years before.

Which was headache-inducing really, when one considered who and what Dilandau really was. It shone through sometimes, the stubborn, proud, easily-angered creature she'd only known from afar during her first time on Gaea. Hitomi winced. Gaea wasn't something she wanted to think about just now. Not the way she'd thrown her entire being into loving Van, only to have it evaporate completely. Not the way so soon after returning she'd found herself pinned to a counter, her lips locked with Dilandau's.

It wasn't that she didn't love Dilandau. She did. She really truly did. She was just… hesitant to give her heart away the same way she'd given it to Van. It wasn't fear exactly. Well, maybe it was fear. Fear that she'd get hurt, or that she'd hurt him. Fear that in the end she would just disappoint, or that she would be disappointed. She wrapped her arms around her legs, drawing them up to her chest. She stared disconcertedly out the window, wondering for the first time in months what exactly was happening on Gaea. She couldn't feel it in her heart anymore – perhaps because the pendent, with its pale pink jewel, was stashed away in a dark corner of a box in the back of her closet.

* * *

A world away, a young man with unruly black hair stood at the front of a very long hall. Beside him stood a young woman, her dark hair cascading down her back, graced with the soft white of a bridal veil. Her white dress flowed down her soft curves, to the floor. She looked absolutely radiant: a beautiful bride on her wedding day. Her dark eyes met the deep brown ones of the young man, and the pair shared a gaze that spoke volumes. It spoke of trust and respect, of loyalty and admiration, but most of all, of love.

"May I present to you, Fanelia's queen, Sarita Renata Valencia de Fanel." A voice cried through the hall, announcing the marriage of Fanelia's young king. Off to the side, two women shared a nervous glance. The one held tightly to the slightly furred paw of her husband, while resting another on her swollen belly. The other sat with her roughened, sun-tanned hands wrapped around themselves. She only hoped that Fanelia's new queen wasn't one of those tittering creatures who'd laughed at the thought of an ambitious, horseback-riding, sword-fighting woman.

The feasting and speech-making went well into the night, and the dancing with it. The newly wed monarchs had been the first to abandon the party, followed slowly by the older ministers and advisors of the Fanelian courts. The other royals who'd been invited to the wedding were perhaps the last to leave, Celena noticed, determined to wait out the evening.

"I've heard you're a minister of the Fanelian court." One young man had dared to ask.

"Yes." She replied curtly, sizing up the young man immediately and realizing in an instant that she could beat him in a swordfight on a bad day. She had no use for a man weaker than her. "I'm also a knight." She'd remarked offhand, eager to get rid of the pompous annoyance.

"They must have rather low standards here if a woman can become a knight." The young man had scoffed. Celena had merely shaken her head.

"You shouldn't underestimate me." She'd said simply, choosing to walk away rather than continue to deal with the annoying man.

Of course, as fate would have it the imbecile had followed her. "Ah, but is it possible you worked as hard as you did simply to win a man's heart?"

Celena had snorted at that, an entirely unlady-like thing to do. "You'll find that the only man whose heart I wanted to win wasn't mine to win."

"And is that perhaps why you look so very downcast at this lovely soiree?" The man had continued.

Celena had snapped her head up at that last comment. "You think I was in love with King Van?" She had gasped. The annoying man had merely nodded, explaining that everyone believed that an Austurian woman had risen to such prominence in Fanelia's court for the simple reason that she was in fact the King's mistress.

Even now, her teeth grinding at the memory, Celena had no response. No witty reply or caustic remark could bite hard enough to hurt that man the way that simple remark had hurt her. All her work, her brilliance in tactics and strategy, her skill with a sword, was nothing to anyone beyond Fanelia's borders. Perhaps they didn't even mean much to the people within her borders. She sighed heavily. How could anyone think there was anything between her and Van?

Certainly they were friends. And yes, perhaps she'd had more than a few late-night meetings or talks with him, but it was all innocent. After all, Van was about as far off from Dilandau as you could get. Celena shook her head. It really wasn't worth her time to think about these things. Apparently she had a world to prove herself too.

* * *

Hitomi lay still in the darkness. Dilandau was sleeping beside her, an arm wrapped around her. She couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned, finally throwing Dilandau's arm off of her. She needed some space. Maybe she'd get a glass of water.

She rose quietly from the bed, tip-toeing out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. Hitomi leaned against the counter and sipped slowly at a cold glass of water. In the silence of the night, she felt increasingly awake. The thought of returning to the bed she and Dilandau were sharing seemed less than welcome. Maybe it was just that initial being-in-love phase dragging to an end, but something seemed so off between them. There was an angry silence in Dilandau's eyes, and she just wasn't sure what the right words to say were.

Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was just a whim, but something kept dragging her thoughts back to Gaea. Suddenly, she needed to know what was happening there. Carefully, Hitomi padded back down the hallway, this time stopping at what was still her room, though she nearly never slept in it any more. She pushed the door open slowly, continuing on her pilgrimage in the dark to her closet. She dug for a moment, pulling out an old shoe box. She brought it over to her bed and sitting down comfortably, pulled the lid off. She rummaged through the box, finally pulling out a small silk bag, and from the bag, the necklace with its small pink teardrop jewel. She held the pendent loosely for a moment; suddenly unsure of what it was she wanted.

"I want," she whispered softly, clasping the jewel to her heart, "I want to see everyone, where they are, who they're with. Just for a minute."

It was like one of the visions she'd had so frequently on Gaea: the slight disorientation, the confusion, the blurring of images. Finally, she focused on the tousled black hair she had once loved so deeply. And noticed, in a heartbeat, the long silken strands of the woman who slept in his arms. She gasped softly, taking in the ring she had once known so well, resting on the dark haired woman's hand, perfectly at home and accompanied by a second ring. One that mirrored a ring on the man's hand, which lay so gently on the woman's shoulder. Van was married.

Hitomi blinked and the image shifted to that of a furry feline couple, also sharing a bed, paws resting on the bulging belly of the cat-woman Hitomi finally recognized as Merle. Another blink and the image shifted to a frustrated couple yelling at each other over a child's cradle. Blinking again and she spotted a lone Knight Caeli traveling through a forest, blonde hair shining in the moonlight. Blinking again and she was faced with a young woman who stood on the battlements of the Fanelian palace, angrily drawing her sword against a foe who wasn't there.

Hitomi felt a tear slide down her cheek as she closed her eyes, not wanting to see anymore. "They all moved on." She sobbed silently, home again, curled tightly on her bed. "They've forgotten me." The tears ran down her cheeks, as she wept for all she'd lost, all she'd left behind, and all she seemed to be denying herself now.

* * *

The morning of April 1st dawned grey for Dilandau. Perhaps it was the fact that for the first time in nearly three months he'd woken up alone, perhaps it was simply that it was that nothing time just moments before dawn, but he could feel that something was wrong, and something was about to change.

He made his way down the hall slowly, knowing instinctively that he would find Hitomi alone in her room. He stood in the doorway, watching her sleep from a distance, the same way he had for so many nights when she wasn't his. He moved closer to the bed, sitting on the corner so he could see her better. He ran a hand over her shoulder, just as her fist opened and a soft pink jewel fell from her grasp to the bedcovers below.

Dilandau blinked, scooping up the pendent and stared at it dumbly. "Why didn't you tell me?" A hoarse whisper met his ears.

"Tell you what?" He replied softly.

"That Van got married. That Merle is pregnant. That Celena is a knight now." Hitomi's voice cracked, as tears pricked her eyes again.

"A minister actually. Someone retired and she got Van to appoint her as the new minister." Dilandau corrected softly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hitomi whimpered. "Celena tells you everything, doesn't she? Why did you never think to tell me what was happening?"

"You never asked." He murmured softly, his eyes never leaving the pendent. "You acted like you wanted to forget about Gaea."

"No." whispered Hitomi softly. "_You_ wanted to forget about Gaea."

Dilandau sighed. "What's wrong with us?" He said finally. Because that was the real problem wasn't it? Behind every argument that never really resolved, behind every complaint, was the truth that something… something didn't really work.

"I don't love you." Hitomi whispered, her fingers tracing the stitching on the bedcover, her eyes never meeting Dilandau's. She didn't want to see the pain in his eyes. She didn't want him to see the lie in hers.

Dilandau didn't move at first. It was as if time slowed down and froze for him alone. He took a trembling breath. It felt as if his soul was being wrenched from his body, or his heart pulled out. He exhaled very slowly, shakily. All the whispered words, the passionate love making, the honesty in her eyes – were a lie? Maybe he wasn't really surprised. After all, who could love someone as terrible and horrible as he was?

Hitomi watched Dilandau leave the room. She found it strange that he never said a word, that he never questioned her words. He never even made her look him in the eyes. Which was for the best. Because if he had done any of those things, he would have caught her in her lie. Because if she really didn't love him, then she wouldn't feel as if her world had fallen out from under her when he left the room.

Hitomi felt numb mostly. Somehow she and Dilandau managed not to cross paths for the rest of the week. An amazing feat, seeing as how the apartment they shared wasn't really that big. Why had she said that? How many hours of precious study time did she waste asking herself why on earth she had told Dilandau she didn't love him? She knew she did. There was no way she would feel so empty otherwise. The only consolation, she supposed, was that it would hurt more if she had ended this later – or worse, if he had ended it. So she lived like a ghost, and her exams passed in a blur.

_To Be Continued…_


	43. Chapter 43

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_So everyone, here's the continuation to last chapter… hope I didn't leave you hanging too long on a sad note._

* * *

**_Chapter 43: Decisions_**

Hitomi dragged her duffel bag up the path to her parent's door. Spending four months in a small apartment avoiding Dilandau just didn't seem like a good option. And she hadn't yet killed the little voice in the back of her head that whined and begged at night to fix things between them. It was all rather problematic, and just like a bad sitcom, the best solution was obviously running away. Alright, so it wasn't a solution, but at least this way she'd have the time and space she needed to think or mope as she saw fit.

"Hey 'Tomi!" her brother cried cheerfully across the kitchen as she leaned against the counter, chewing morosely on a cookie.

"Don't call me 'Tomi." She muttered darkly. "My name is Hitomi. I'd appreciate it if you said my whole name."

"But Dilandau calls you 'Tomi." Her brother replied blankly, evidently confused at Hitomi's strangely dark mood.

"That's exactly why _you_ shouldn't." She retorted.

A dramatic sigh in the doorway distracted the two siblings. "Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise and that's why you came to visit us." Hitomi's mother looked a little dismayed. "I did wonder why Dilandau wasn't with you."

"Can we please just stop talking about him?" Hitomi groaned. "I came here to get away from him."

"You know running away from your problems doesn't solve them." Her brother admonished, waving his finger at Hitomi.

"I just need time to think." Hitomi growled. She left the kitchen, "I'm going to my room. I might be down later."

Hitomi's brother shook her head, "Why'd she have to come visit if she's going to be all miserable?"

The young teen's mother wrapped an arm around her son, even as he wiggled out of her reach. "She's just hurting. If I know your sister, whatever it is that's got her upset is at least partly her fault." She sighed again, "I just hope she realizes what she has before she actually loses it."

* * *

A week later found Hitomi humming along to the music playing through her headphones as she perused a small store along the street. The sun was shining outside, but there was still a trace of a frown marring her normally happy face. In her own world, Hitomi smashed straight into the person beside her. "I'm sorry!" She said, surprise and shock in her voice. "I didn't see you at all..."

"It's alright," a warm, male voice replied easily. "Could've happened to anyone." The young man said with a smile, turning his friendly gaze to Hitomi. For a moment he looked very hard at her. "Hitomi Kanzaki?" He said finally. "I don't believe it! It's me, Ichiro."

Hitomi stared at the young man for a long moment. She was thinking really hard, but just couldn't place the face. "Ichiro?" She asked tentatively, wracking her head for the name.

"You don't remember me, do you?" The man said with a shy smile. "It's alright; I don't think I've seen you since you were ten. Though I remember you were the cutest of the little girls who came to see us play soccer."

Hitomi blushed slightly. This was _that_ Ichiro – the one Yukari had had her first crush on. How on earth could she have forgotten that? "Ichiro! Of course I remember you, my best friend back then had the hugest crush on you. I remember her dragging me to every soccer game." She paused. "Not that I didn't want to see them too." Her blush deepened. She was really making a mess of things here.

But the man just laughed, shaking his head. "Well, at least one of you had a crush on me; I suppose I should be thankful for that at least." He paused for a moment. "Hey, I know it's a bit weird, but do you want to go get a coffee? I know this little café that just opened and they make excellent little cakes."

Hitomi blanked for a moment. Coffee with a guy, wasn't that a bit like a date? Should she be considering that sort of thing when she didn't even know exactly where she and Dilandau were right now? She shook her head determinedly. She was making a mountain from a molehill; this was just two old acquaintances getting a coffee – perfectly innocent. "I'd love to." She replied firmly, a smile gracing her lips for the first time in several weeks.

Hitomi laughed loudly, quickly raising her hand to cover her mouth before the tiny bite of cake she'd taken could go flying across the café. Ichiro was one of those genuinely friendly, funny guys, and the way he recalled growing up this area was so very comical he had Hitomi howling with laughter, lifting her free of the depressed mood she'd been in for so long.

"Well, it's definitely good to see a smile on your face." He said setting his mug down as Hitomi stifled the last of her laughter. "When I saw you in the store you looked so utterly depressed." He frowned slightly when the mirth in Hitomi's features fled away upon mentioning this.

He tilted his head slightly to the side. "I'm sensing that there's a story to why a beautiful young woman is so unhappy." He paused, gauging Hitomi's reaction. "Generally these stories involve men and broken hearts, but I suppose I could be talked into being the willing ear."

Hitomi looked at the man sitting in front of her, his dark brown eyes warm and inviting. She shrugged; it couldn't hurt to get an outside opinion on her issues with Dilandau, could it?

Which was probably why she was sitting in a restaurant a week later, waiting for Ichiro. He'd invited her out for supper, and for some reason she'd accepted. After all, he was nothing like Dilandau, and that had to be a good thing right? And she deserved to have some fun didn't she? Wasn't twenty-one a little young to be trapped with just one guy? Hitomi chewed her lip softly, debating whether having justifications that were all questions meant that they weren't very good justifications after all.

"Hitomi! Sorry I'm a bit late," Ichiro started as he approached the table, "It's the craziest story though…" He spent the rest of the evening making her laugh. Hitomi found herself wondering if perhaps this was what dating was supposed to be like: making each other feel good, light conversation, and laughter. Not that she hadn't laughed with Dilandau; there'd been all the movie nights that they still kept up religiously, and that time he'd attempted to make a chocolate fondue, and it had mostly ended up on each other… the tiniest sigh escaped her lips.

"I'm not boring you, am I?" Ichiro asked worriedly, looking relieved when she told him that she had just remembered something silly, and that he wasn't boring her at all. What was it exactly that Ichiro lacked? Intensity maybe, Hitomi thought. It seemed Dilandau had taken all his obsessive madness of his youth and converted it into a powerful intensity. Hitomi let Ichiro's chatter float over her head, smiling and laughing in all the right places even though she wasn't listening at all. Was it right to try to compare her Dilandau to the one she'd barely known on Gaea? After all, so much had happened to him there; the torture and medications of the Madoushi, the fact that at least half of him had to have been Celena's personality shining through; her Dilandau wasn't really the same person at all was he?

Hitomi paused. _Her_ Dilandau? Despite the horrible thing she'd said and all the silence between them, she still thought of him as hers? Hitomi shook her head silently, trying to refocus on the present, on Ichiro. Who really wasn't Dilandau.

Hitomi stood on her doorstep, Ichiro by her side. "Thank you for the lovely supper," Hitomi said politely. "I had fun." She offered up a bright smile, but it all felt rather false to her. The only thing she'd really gotten out of this date was that she was entirely wrapped up in Dilandau, and wasn't sure she'd ever be free.

"Good." Ichiro said softly, "I'm glad." His dark eyes looked gently into hers, and Hitomi found herself missing the fiery red of Dilandau's. She missed the taste of passion and violence in his kisses, the way he would at times hold her so tightly she feared she would bruise. Lost in thoughts of Dilandau, Hitomi didn't notice Ichiro's intentions until his lips brushed across hers. All thought paused in her mind for a moment. There was nothing. Her lips felt more violated than anything else. Hitomi pulled away quickly.

"I'm sorry." She sputtered. "I…"

"It's alright," Ichiro said softly, brushing a lock of hair from her face. "You're thinking about him aren't you?"

Hitomi sighed softly. "In my defense, he's not exactly forgettable." She said with a weak smile.

"I figured as much," Ichiro replied, a hint of melancholy in his voice. "I just wanted to know. Yukari wasn't the only one with a crush back then, you know." He gave Hitomi a smile in parting. "I hope you and unforgettable work things out then."

Hitomi watched Ichiro get into his car and drive away, still processing what he had said. She shook her head as she pulled open the door. The world was such a funny place.

"Hitomi!" Her mother cried. "I'm so glad you're home! I just got a call, and you remember Yukari, of course? She heard you were back here for a visit and now she and Amano are coming for a visit! Isn't that exciting?"

Hitomi smiled, it wasn't exactly exciting, she supposed, but Yukari and Amano had gotten engaged at the end of high school, and were still together. If nothing else, maybe Yukari would have some advice for her.

* * *

Dilandau paced the apartment impatiently. The whole I'm-not-worthy-of-her-love phase hadn't quite lasted out the first week of the silence between him and Hitomi, instead wearing its way into a simmering anger and frustration. He'd _changed_ for her! Certainly he wasn't a saint, but he'd lost that promotion to stand up for sharks, and now he seemed to have a conscience that was making his job nearly unbearable. He'd supported Hitomi, loved Hitomi, cooked for her, cleaned for her, held her hair back when she drank too much, and the list went on forever.

Dilandau growled, scoping up one of his swords and expertly slicing through the air. 'Wanna talk about it?' A feminine voice cut through his jumbled thoughts. 'It might just be a woman's opinion you need.'

Dilandau shrugged, closing his eyes and visualizing that in between place where he and Celena had fought before. _I just don't understand. _He hissed. _I'd give my life for her, and she says she doesn't love me and runs away._

There was a long silence on Celena's end, interrupted only by the clash of swords. 'Well,' Celena began carefully, 'She did just end that relationship with Van. Couldn't it be that she hasn't quite gotten over the way that faded away?' Gracefully she deflected a hit. 'What if she's just afraid that what you two have will fade away just as easily?'

Dilandau blinked, he'd never really considered that side of things. Mind you, he'd been caught up in his own fury. That had always been the fast track to blindness for him. _But why would she say she didn't love me?_ His voice held an anguish that bit the air.

'Because denial is always the first response. You said before that she'd seen everyone on Gaea moving on with their lives. She feels like we've all forgotten her. She doesn't want you to forget her like that, so the easiest thing to do is push you away so you never get the chance to know her well enough to forget her.' Celena paused, deflecting another hit. 'If that makes any sense.'

Dilandau growled low in his throat, lunging with his sword only to find Celena's at his throat. 'By the way, you're getting out of practice.' Celena added.

_You sure you just aren't getting better?_ Dilandau replied wryly. Celena blinked, and smiled at the compliment. _Thank you._ Dilandau said softly, as Celena's sword fell from his neck. _For making sense out of Hitomi for me._

'Hey, we were a team once,' Celena said with a wistful smile, 'we can still pull it together every once and a while.' She stared up at Dilandau for a long moment before brushing her lips across his cheek. The gesture wasn't sisterly, but it wasn't really romantic either. It was more like a goodbye. 'Now go fix things so you can stop moping.' Celena said firmly, sheathing her sword.

Dilandau opened his eyes, and sheathed his own sword firmly. His head swam with Celena's interpretation. Tomorrow then, he was getting Hitomi and bringing her home. Dilandau looked at the calendar hanging on the wall. Alright, so tomorrow he had work. Saturday, he was getting Hitomi and bringing her home.

* * *

Yukari and Amano arrived early on Friday morning, rather exhausted from their flight from London, where the pair were living. Amano had attempted to stay awake all day, with the result being that by seven that evening he was unconscious on one of the living room couches. Yukari on the other hand had gone to sleep directly after breakfast, waking up around four in the afternoon. Which left her wide awake when everyone else was ready for bed.

Which worked out well for her and Hitomi. The two stayed up laughing and talking like they had at high school sleepovers, the only difference being that now they were both older, and Yukari married. Hitomi settled into the corner of her bed, sitting across from her old friend. "Yukari," she said softly, thoughts of Dilandau still sitting in a confused jumble at the back of her mind, "How did you know Amano was the one for you?"

Yukari smiled. "I didn't." At Hitomi's startled gaze she smiled wider. "I still don't actually."

"But… what?" Hitomi stuttered. "I'm not sure I understand…"

Yukari shook her head. "Hitomi, as much as you think you've changed, I think that deep down you're still the girl who was always late for track practice and believed in fate." She smiled warmly at Hitomi. "Not that there's anything wrong with the concept of fate, but I don't really believe that there's really just one person out there who's right for us. And I don't think love is about having a perfect relationship. I mean, me and Amano argue all the time, but it doesn't make us any less happy when we aren't."

"When me and Amano got married, it was kinda scary for me, cause we had the ceremony in London, so even though my family flew out for it, I knew I couldn't expect any of my friends, or even you, to come all the way out there for me. So I got one of the girls I'd met in London to be my maid of honour. I'd been a bit unsure about choosing her, cause we hadn't known each other very long, but I'm going to remember what she said for the rest of my life." Yukari paused.

"She said that love is often fleeting, and sometimes it just touches us for an instant before evaporating away, but other times, if we really try, we can hold onto it and so long as we do, it will never fade. But that can be hard, and it means working to keep it safe, working hard to nurture it and keep it healthy. It means showing to the other person that you love them whenever you can, and not just when you feel romantic. Love doesn't even always have to be romantic." Yukari paused, a wistful look in her eyes. "All that, what she said, made sense to me. I've always thought that it's alright to be scared of love, because when you really love someone you know that you're going to have to work hard to keep it. But you have to be brave, because the worst thing you can do is let fear make your love fade away."

Hitomi sat speechless. "How do you know if it's worth the effort though?" She whispered softly. "What if it's not worth the pain you feel after?"

Yukari reached out and held Hitomi's hand. "How do you know what something is worth if you let fear keep you away from it?" She smiled softly. "Now," she said, mischief growing in her eyes, "Obviously you're talking about someone in specific."

Hitomi felt a small smile spread across her lips as Yukari squealed. "I want details, Hitomi!"

Hitomi and Yukari woke up late the next day, and venturing downstairs they found a note from Hitomi's mother saying that everyone had gone out to the local morning market, but they'd decided to let the two girls sleep in, since they were probably up all night talking. Hitomi and Yukari shared a smile as they started mixing up pancake batter. It felt rather nice to pretend to be schoolgirls again.

A knock at the door startled them both, as they were still in their nightgowns. "Who could that be?" Yukari cried, inching towards the front window.

"Yukari! You're wearing nothing but a nightdress!" Hitomi yelled at her friend.

"So? A married woman has to have some fun." Yukari replied back cheekily. "And whoever it is has the cutest red sports car."

"I don't know anyone with a sports car," mumbled Hitomi. "Maybe they have the wrong house." She continued mixing the pancake batter.

"But he's absolutely delicious looking! You have to see this guy Hitomi!" Yukari squealed. She opened the door. "Anything I can help you with sir?" She said looking up and batting her eyelashes.

"Umm, who are you?" A vaguely familiar voice asked from the door. Hitomi shook her head. Yukari was married, so it was ridiculous that she flirt with some stranger. Still holding the spatula she was mixing the batter with she wandered into the front hallway. "Don't pay any attention to her," she began, "Yukari is married…" Catching sight of the stranger in the doorway her breath caught in her throat. "Dilandau." She whispered softly.

"This is Dilandau?" Yukari screeched. "This? This gorgeous… Hitomi! You said he was good looking. That doesn't even do justice!" Hitomi ignored her sputtering friend.

"What are you doing here?" She asked softly.

"I'm taking you home." Dilandau said firmly, watching a drop of pancake mix fall from the spatula to the floor. He raised his gaze to look deep into Hitomi's. "Even if I have to take you in a nightgown with pancake mix on your nose."

Hitomi lifted her hand, hastily wiping some of the powdery pancake mix off her nose. She blushed slightly. "But what if I'm not ready to go home?" She said firmly, determined to regain some dignity in this situation.

Dilandau shrugged, walking into the house. "Then I'll stay here until you are."

Hitomi stared after him as he brushed past her into the kitchen. "And you can't seriously be making pancakes from boxed pancake mix are you?" He growled. "Didn't I teach you anything better than that?" He disappeared into the kitchen.

"He cooks too?" Yukari breathed. "Hitomi, why the heck are you being stubborn? He's gorgeous and he cooks – what more do you want?"

Hitomi sighed, watching another drip of pancake batter fall from the spatula to the floor. "I'm getting dressed," she mumbled.

* * *

Hitomi's mother was the first one to guess who the red sports car in front of the house belonged to. No sooner had she walked into the house and sniffed the air did she exclaim that Dilandau must be there since the house smelt too good for it to be anyone else's cooking. Hitomi sighed softly at the table, silent amidst the bubbling breakfast conversation. She looked at Yukari who was alternating between staring at Dilandau in adoration and glaring at her. On impulse she looked in Dilandau's direction only to realize that even though he was talking with her mother, his eyes were focused intently on her. She slid down a little in her seat, maybe Yukari was right, or maybe it was the little voice in her head that wanted to fix things that was right, or maybe it was Ichiro hoping that she and "unforgettable" would work things out. Whoever it was, she knew suddenly that she _wanted_ to be with Dilandau. Maybe more than anything in the world.

After breakfast she slunk away quickly, feeling the need to disappear. Why exactly did he have to come chasing out here after her? She couldn't deny that some little part of her was flattered that he had, inside she was deliriously happy that he didn't just forget about her. On the other hand, part of her bristled at his statement that he was taking her home. She wasn't someone he could just order around. She shook her head in frustration; nothing was easy with him, was it?

But maybe all the things worth having were those you had to work for. She found herself remembering what Yukari had said last night, about love being something you had to work at, something you had to be brave for. Was every little doubt in her mind rooted in fear? She sighed softly, settling herself down beside a flowery bush in the backyard. The pale pink flowers obscured her from the house, and she hoped would give her time to think. But what if she'd been giving herself too much time to think?

"I'm sorry." Hitomi looked up in surprise. "You probably didn't want me to come out here." Dilandau sat down on the grass beside her. "But I needed to see you."

Hitomi watched him from the corner of her eye. He sat facing the same direction as her, his gaze directed forward as if to give her some semblance of space. She waited for a long moment for him to say something else, but he just sat there beside her in the quiet yard. Hitomi listened to the wind blow through the flowery bush and the trees around them. A bird started singing in the distance, its haunting little tune just making it to Hitomi's ears. "I lied." She heard herself say.

"I know." Dilandau replied after a long moment. "You got scared didn't you?"

Hitomi sighed. "You aren't supposed to know me that well."

"Yeah well, I guess you're just going to have to deal with that aren't you?" Dilandau said a little roughly. A long moment passed between the two of them. "Why didn't you say anything?" Dilandau asked softly. "Things were falling apart and you didn't tell me why."

"I don't know." Hitomi replied hollowly. "I guess I just got scared and then I wasn't sure if maybe it would be better if we weren't so close, or that it would be better if things didn't work and that maybe it just wasn't worth fixing." Hitomi watched Dilandau wince from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly.

"What part wouldn't have been worth it?" Dilandau finally asked. Hitomi watched him turn his head so he was looking at her, needing an answer.

Hitomi took a deep breathe. "All of it. Love in general." She paused, wracking her brain for any way to be less vague. "I just got scared." She said lamely, turning her head to face Dilandau. "I got scared because I realized how much I love you, how much I need you. I don't want it to fade away."

She stiffened when Dilandau reached a hand out tentatively. His fingertips wiped away a tear running down her cheek she didn't know she'd shed. "I love you." Dilandau whispered hoarsely. "And I can't see that changing anytime soon."

Hitomi stared into his eyes, which shone with that fiery intensity she had missed so much. Inside she felt like she was trembling, with fear and longing and hope. On the outside, she reached out a hand to rest it on Dilandau's arm. "I missed you." She whispered softly.

Dilandau grabbed the hand that rested so tentatively on his arm and pulled Hitomi close to him. He leaned in so close to her that their faces nearly touched. "Next time you get scared, or something makes you worried, or I do something stupid," he whispered hoarsely, "Just _tell_ me."

Hitomi smiled softly as Dilandau's lips crashed down onto her own. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, as he pulled her even closer than before. Returning his passionate kisses with ever more fervor, Hitomi decided that maybe the reason Dilandau's arms felt like home, was because they were.

* * *

_Muahaha… how I love a proper happy ending (not that this is the ending). Anyway, yes… I know a lot of people were really upset with me for throwing a wrench into the happiness that is Hitomi and Dilandau, but a lot of people noticed that the relationship was just too easy, and in real life, you really do have to work at relationships. Anyway, rejoice, because a wiser Hitomi now has her happy ending with Dilly after all. :D_


	44. Chapter 44

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Eeeep…it's been a long haul, but here it is… the second-to-last chapter._

* * *

**_Chapter 44: The One Who Won_**

Hitomi let out a long sigh, her eyes tracking across the empty kitchen, debating if this really was the room she wanted to start with. With a decisive nod, she bent over and hacked open the first box. She began pulling out various plates, utensils, and other kitchen-dwellers, carefully selecting their new locations and setting them there. Her hand came to rest on a mixing bowl and she smiled, remembering that day, several years back, when Dilandau had appeared on her parent's doorstep saying that he was taking her home.

Part of her had feared that what she'd done, the things she'd said, might have driven a wedge between them, but after that day they'd both really started to try to talk to each other. They let each other in when things hurt or bothered them. Instead of being just friends or lovers, they became something more. Finally she had found out the cause for his silent anger – it had been his job all along. Hitomi shook her head, remembering all the times she'd tried to lift his spirits after that, only to finally hear herself suggesting that he just quit and go back to advertising. He'd enjoyed that at least.

Hitomi paused in her rearranging of the cupboard beside the sink, it had meant more to her than Dilandau had ever believed that he'd taken her advice. There had been another relationship, in which her advice had been ignored, and things had fallen apart. Either Dilandau knew that, or else he really did believe in Hitomi. Looking back over the things she'd accomplished in these past few years, mostly thanks to Dilandau's support, Hitomi found herself believing the latter.

Standing and dusting herself off, Hitomi glanced around the kitchen in satisfaction. One room down, six to go, and they didn't actually all have to get done today.

Hitomi strolled into the dining room and continued straight through to the living room. With a smile she unpacked and plugged in the radio. Being alone with music was definitely an improvement over being alone in silence. Hitomi hummed along to the music, remembering how happy Dilandau had been the day he'd come home early and told her he'd quit. The way she understood it, he'd been sitting in yet another meeting filled with arguing and debate over how to get the most money, with no regard for how they used people or resources.

She remembered feeling very proud of him when he told her that in the middle of the meeting he'd finally stood up, utterly disgusted with it all. He'd accused all the men in the room (for there were no women working in acquisitions) of being blind and heartless. He'd said that you can't just use people; they have rights and deserve them. To use people, to control them because their lives are in your hands, was the greatest cowardice he could imagine. He'd then directed his angry glare at the old man who was the boss of the whole mess, and he'd quit.

Hitomi hadn't been surprised when he'd found a new job, one in advertising, just a few months later. All the advertising agencies had marveled at the ad campaign Dilandau had constructed several years back, and had been eager to get him on board. She shook her head. Since starting at the ad agency, he'd stopped being furious at himself all the time. She smiled, it was nice actually, in some ways the more carefree Dilandau she'd gotten to know that first year they'd been living together as roommates re-emerged. Movie nights had gone back to being the silly fun thing they'd started as, only now the popcorn fights ended with one of them being pinned down and kissed by the other.

Hitomi ripped open another box, pulling back layers of tissue paper and smiled at the picture frame that sat on top. The picture showed Dilandau, his silver hair a little spiked, looking rather dashing in a black tuxedo. Hitomi stood close beside him, her honey-coloured hair pulled back into a fancy updo. The dress she wore was white and simple: strapless, it flowed in smooth straight lines from her chest to the ground. In her hands a bouquet of red roses was held close. She and Dilandau were looking more at each other than the camera, and stood in a park, surrounded by greenery. With reverence, Hitomi placed her wedding picture on the mantle in the living room.

It had been a beautiful wedding. Her mother had cried. Her father had given a moving speech about how proud he was that his daughter had found someone whom she loved, and who loved her in return. And that he was glad that the man was fairly well to do and respected. Hitomi had rolled her eyes at that one, but had laughed anyway. Truth to be told, Dilandau and her father got along so well it was almost scary.

Of course, in her memories, the night Dilandau had proposed would always be the most beautiful moment. They had gone out for dinner at a nice restaurant. It hadn't been an extremely fancy one, but she'd worn a cute little dress, since it was late spring, and she'd just finished her honours project in political affairs. The moon had shone full in a dark sky scattered with stars. A warm breeze had carried the fragrance of flowers to the restaurant door and Hitomi had begged Dilandau to walk back to their apartment instead of driving. Reluctantly he'd agreed, very much in love with the red sports car he'd bought.

Hitomi always wondered if perhaps he'd planned it, and the reluctance was just an act, because while walking, they passed a fountain, newly opened and with brightly coloured lights staining the sparkling water in greens and reds. She'd paused to look at the fountain, against the backdrop of stars and moonlight, it was nearly the closest she'd ever been to magic here on Earth. Turning back to Dilandau, she felt him take her hand and kneel on one knee before her. Her breathe had caught in her throat as he'd asked her to be his wife.

She'd stood there for a moment, soaking in the atmosphere, a smile spreading across her lips. She'd leapt into his arms while screaming yes, if she remembered correctly. The rest of the walk home had seemed a dream after he slid the engagement ring onto her finger. She'd gasped at it; a single diamond set into pale gold, framed on either side by small emeralds. "I did promise someone I'd get you a much nicer engagement ring once." He'd breathed into her ear.

The memory of that night so long ago when she'd pretended to be Dilandau's fiancé for a business supper trickled through her mind. She'd laughed softly into the evening air. "I love you." She'd whispered up to him. His crimson eyes had gazed back down at her, shining with love, so fierce and passionate and true.

Hitomi sighed happily, looking around the living room and admiring it. They'd gotten married just a few months after they became engaged, fitting in their honeymoon just before she began her Master's program at the university. After finishing that thesis, they'd finally decided that as nice as the apartment was, it was time to get a place of their own.

The house was small, but was nestled into a nice neighbourhood. The yard had a few trees in it, and it would be simply perfect for kids to play in. Hitomi walked to the back door, her eyes straying over the backyard, visualizing a swing hanging from the old oak tree, and maybe a sand box somewhere down the line.

A commotion by the front door made her eyes widen and brighten, sending her fantasies running as her husband was home. Hitomi spun on her heel and walked into the living room, the first room the hallway opened into. "I thought you said you were going to be unpacking today!" Dilandau's voice floated in from the front door.

"I did do unpacking today." Hitomi replied, smirking.

"Then why did I trip over a box the second I opened the front door?" Dilandau growled, strolling into the living room.

"Cause I didn't get to the hallway yet." Hitomi replied, placing a kiss on her husband's nose, just to annoy him. "You're lucky my supervisor is so lenient," she continued, "if I'd had to go into the university today I wouldn't even have gotten as much done as I did."

"Uh huh." Dilandau nodded. "And you know I'm working hard, everyday, just to put you through your Ph.D.?"

"Yup." Hitomi said with a cocky smile. "And you know I love you for it."

Dilandau rolled his eyes. "Why do I let you get away with these things?" He asked, walking up behind Hitomi and hugging her from behind.

"Because I'm cute?" Hitomi replied mischeviously, wrapping her arms around Dilandau's own. He gave a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat.

"At least tell me the kitchen is done." He said softly, into her hair.

"Ready to go." She replied with a smile.

"So what do you want for supper? Or should I ask for fear of being traumatized?" Dilandau asked, still burrowing his face into Hitomi's hair.

"My ideas aren't that strange." Hitomi replied, slapping his arm slightly. "It's not like I'm mixing pickles and ice cream."

"Yet." Replied Dilandau, unwrapping his arms from around Hitomi and wandering into the kitchen.

Hitomi shook her head, watching her husband wander into the kitchen to make supper. She shrugged and walked out into the hallway, ripping open the slightly squashed box he'd tripped over on his way in.

* * *

Dilandau looked across the table at Hitomi. She glowed a little in the candlelight, and brought a smile to his face. So many things had changed in these last few years. Even their love had changed. It felt stronger now, as if they'd gone from being two separate people into being just one unit. Everything he did, he did for her, for them, for the child that would one day be sitting there with them.

He didn't question Hitomi's love, and she didn't question his. It shone from her emerald eyes whenever he looked at her. And even when things were difficult, or they were arguing, the love they shared never faded away. They both wanted to keep that precious flame alive far too much.

After washing the dishes, Dilandau walked over to the bedroom, spotting Hitomi sandwiched between three boxes and a pile of clothing. He looked over the room; there was definitely some work that had to be done here before they could actually get to bed. "Whatcha looking for?" He asked softly, leaning against the doorframe to watch her better.

"The bed sheets." Hitomi replied, rummaging through two boxes at the same time. "I can't find them."

"Didn't you pack them into the green bag so that you wouldn't have to go rummaging through the boxes to find them tonight?" He said with a smirk, pointing at a large green bag that sat on top of the bare mattress.

Hitomi looked up at him, her gaze flicking between the bag on the bed and her husband's smirk. "Did I do that?" She asked softly. "I'm smart aren't I?" She stared at the pile of unpacked things she'd formed on the floor. She chewed her lip. "I think this can wait til tomorrow, don't you?" She asked him, her eyes large and pleading.

"If you put them off until tomorrow," Dilandau began, "I can help you since it will be Saturday." His eyes shone with amusement. "And I can get you into our bed faster."

He watched Hitomi struggle to decide whether to laugh or be furious with him. And decided that while she was struggling he'd just have to scoop her up and put her on the bed so he could kiss her, sheets or no sheets.

Late that night, in the shadowy darkness of the small hours of the morning, Dilandau lay awake beside his wife. He traced the features of her face with his scarlet eyes and breathed in her scent. This was heaven, he thought to himself. He placed a hand gently against Hitomi's slightly bulging belly. At only three months, he wasn't likely to feel much, but he always marveled that they had a child. That he, Dilandau Albatou had somehow found himself here.

A husband, a soon-to-be-father, a man with a job that didn't hurt other people. Memories of who he had once been had all but faded away, replaced with a reality that sometimes overwhelmed him with gratitude and wonder. He gently pushed a silken tress of Hitomi's hair from her face, and in her sleep, she cuddled closer to him. Tenderly, he smiled down at his wife. She was beautiful, and she was everything and more that he could ever ask for.

In the darkness, a small thought crept up on him. He smirked in the darkness, as the thought hadn't crept into his mind in such a long time. It seemed that after everything that had happened, he had won after all.


	45. Chapter 45

**_What happens when it fades?_**

_Well, here it is, the very last chapter of What Happens When It Fades? I hope everyone enjoyed it! And I want to thank everyone who reviewed or messaged me – you are the ones who kept this story going, and kept the ideas flowing. Sorry it's taken so long to get this last chapter out… I had a field course that kept me totally occupied for two weeks straight. (Which was totally awesome by the way)_

_I have plans for a sequel, but it may take me a little while to get it out. I have a lot going on in my head right now, and my field course sorta made me think differently about a lot of stuff. When it does come out, it'll be called "Lady Knight" – you can think of this chapter as its prologue._

* * *

**_Chapter 45: Lady Knight_**

A woman stood on the top of a bluff, surveying the land before her. A chestnut stallion stood beside her, impatiently pawing the earth beneath its hooves. "Shh Hermes," the woman hissed, "we'll be going soon, but I need to be careful." She was heading into territory that hadn't been ventured into in several generations, and didn't know at all what to expect.

The mumbling and bumbling of the older ministers and advisors had finally ground on Celena's nerves enough that she'd taken the seaward expansion project on herself. First off, who exactly did this land belong too beyond "some lord"? It irritated her to no end that no one else had bothered to look. So she looked. She searched what had been salvaged of Fanelia's library, and when that had yielded nothing, had "visited" Allen in Asturia for several weeks. It irked her to be away from her duties, but it had been necessary to track down the required documents.

As it turned out, four generations ago, one of the lords of the Fanelian court had retired to the country. He had been such a valuable asset to that Fanelian family of royals, that the land he'd retired too had been deeded away to this lord. Celena had stared at the parchment. Based on this, the elusive land that Fanelia needed access to and had spent over five years bickering about, belonged to Fanelia.

Following each lead as it came; Celena discovered that the lord had settled his son's family in with him. The last evidence she could find suggested that the eldest son of that family had stayed on the land as well. It seemed that he had married an Asturian nobleman's daughter, and had two children. Beyond that, the family disappeared. Upon returning to Fanelia, she'd confided the information to Van, and then requested permission to scout it out herself.

Which may or may not have something to do with the fact that the son's portrait had been rather handsome, and who knew? Perhaps if there were two children, one might be a son. At twenty-six, Celena was getting a little annoyed that there seemed to be no one for her. These secret motives didn't change her wary nature though. Years and years of training as a knight and a government official had taught her that one can never assume or even hope too hard for something.

She could be walking into a nest of bandits, or a deserted property, or she may stumble across the family – who by now could have sworn off any allegiance to Fanelia. Celena stuck out her arm as she stood on the bluff, just in time for a falcon to land on her gloved arm. "So Artemis, no danger then?" She breathed deeply, it was early afternoon, and she'd been riding hard for several days now.

She and her animal companions now stood on the very edge of the deeded land. If one looked hard enough through the trees, one could almost see the ocean in the distance. Which was partly fancy, thought Celena, as the ocean was a good seven or eight miles from here. If the records were right though, she was not even two miles from the family manor.

The sun now setting behind her, Celena led Hermes through the thick forest surrounding the manor. There didn't seem to be any proper path, only the elusive footpaths that appeared in forests, only to disappear among the foliage as if they'd never truly existed at all. Celena breathed a sigh of relief as she entered a large clearing. The large stone house that filled it was evidently the family manor she'd been searching for.

Tying Hermes to a tree, Celena approached the house slowly. It seemed to be in a state of disrepair, with wooden shutters hanging by loose hinges and ivy overgrowing the walls. She pushed the front door open, as it seemed to hang open by an inch or so anyway. With a creak, the heavy door swung open, revealing an obviously deserted dwelling. Piles of old leaves were heaped in the corners of the room and lay strewn carelessly across the floor. Spiderwebs hung from the ceiling and filled the old fireplace that dominated the main room.

Celena listened hard, and the faint squeaks of mice and voles awakened in the deepening dusk reached her ears. Whatever had happened to the children of this family, they were certainly not here now. Celena shrugged as a shiver ran through her. Fall was coming on fast, and the nights were getting chilly. She left the building to bring Hermes closer to the front door, and took the saddle bags off while she was at it. Within a few minutes she had created a camp for herself near the old fireplace. By the time the sun went down she had a small fire crackling merrily away.

Late in the night, Celena's eyes popped open. The fire had dwindled away to merely blinking embers, but it had been a sound that had awakened her. Distantly she could hear Hermes stamping his hooves, but it was a far closer sound that had set her nerves tingling. A faint creak of the floorboards behind her and the brush of a sleeve across her back sent her flying to action. Deftly she sprung away from her position curled up beside the fire, the dagger that mere seconds before had been at her throat now in her hand, directed at her attacker.

"Who are you?" She demanded huskily of the cloaked figure that now sat back on its heels on the floor. "And what do you mean by this?"

"You're on my land." A male voice replied smoothly. "I was merely curious." The figure tilted his hooded head sideways. "Though I didn't realize you were a woman."

Celena snorted. "What difference does that make?" She replied dourly, though inwardly she was pleased. She'd found the lord of this land! Or rather, she thought less euphorically, he found me.

"Well," the man began, slowly standing and removing the hood of his cloak, "I would certainly have been gentler." His shadowed features took on an amused expression. "Though you certainly reacted faster than I would have expected from even a trained man."

Celena attempted to bite down on her anger. If there was anything she hated, it was chauvinistic jerks who expected her to be just another member of the so-called weaker sex. "For your information," she snapped tartly, "I just so happen to be a knight of Fanelia."

She expected at least some reaction of shock from the man; instead he merely shrugged his shoulders. "Huh. Guess a lot has changed since grandfather's time."

Celena lowered the dagger. "Are you perchance Lord Acestes son?" Her eyes cut through the darkness, wishing she could stir up the fire so she could get a better look at the man's face. Being able to read the body language and facial cues of her opponents often gave her an edge beyond mere skill, and in this thick darkness, she felt like she had only the tiniest idea of what this man might attempt next.

As if on cue, the man leaned down to the fire and stirred up the dying embers, attempting to coax the fire back to life by slowly feeding it wood. After a long moment, he finally replied. "And if I am?"

Celena stepped a little nearer, watching the man's expression in the orange-red glow of the embers. He was a handsome man, younger than she'd at first expected. Possibly little older than herself really. His hair looked as if it might be fair, a sure sign of Asturian ancestry, though he had the stubborn set to his face of a Fanelian. He looked conflicted, Celena decided as she neared the fire.

"If you are, I've been looking for you." She replied softly, sitting back on her heels beside the man near the fire. With one hand she offered the dagger back to the man. The other unconsciously tapped the hilt of the knife she kept tucked in her boot. Conflicted could be unpredictable.

The man turned his head, accepting the knife with one hand while staring Celena hard in the eyes. Celena held the gaze, calm and collected as anything. "You said you're a knight of Fanelia?" The man asked calmly.

Celena nodded. "Does anyone else live on this land with you?"

The man shook his head. "The last of the servants passed away last year. I've been on my own for awhile." He turned his head to look into the fire. "Keep planning to leave, but it never seems to happen."

"You have family in Asturia, don't you?" Celena asked, curious as to why the man would stay here alone. Normally she wouldn't have believed such a thing, but there was something in the man's manner that led her to believe he'd been on his own for a long time.

"I do." He said ruefully, "I take it you researched my family before coming out here?" His voice had the hoarseness of one not often used, and his expression had a rugged amusement to it. He stared into the fire that was finally growing into small licking tongues of flame once more, "They're all snobs."

Celena smiled despite herself. "Asturia is known for it." She said with a small grin.

The man turned his head to look at her again. "You're Asturian." He said softly.

"Yes." Celena admitted softly. "By birth anyway."

"But now you're a knight of Fanelia."

"The minister of foreign intelligence and homeland security actually." That attracted his attention.

"So Fanelia not only has women as knights, but appoints them as ministers?" A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of the man's mouth.

"King Van is very progressive that way." Celena replied with a smile.

"And what does this King Van of Fanelia want with me?" The man asked softly, his voice holding both threat and amusement at the same time.

Celena nodded slowly, debating whether this man was the type to be direct or diplomatic. In the end she went with the manner she was most comfortable with. "Your land." She replied. "This parcel of land has access to the ocean. Access that is essential for Fanelia to have if our economy and foreign policy are to grow in any meaningful way."

The man nodded. "But what do I get in return?"

Celena smiled softly. "That really depends on whether you're Lord Acestes son."

The man smiled in return. "I am. So I suppose that makes me Lord Theron. Now Minister of Fanelia, do you have a name?"

"Celena." She replied with a smile, accepting the hand offered by Lord Theron in a warm handshake.

"So Minister Celena," the lord began, "What exactly am I being offered in return for my land?"

Celena chewed her lip. Technically, there wasn't anything to offer him. Her mission had been to scout out the area, and determine if it was still occupied, and to make contact. On the other hand, she'd gone and been perhaps too forthright, and now she was stuck. "What is it that you'd like?" She asked finally, evading the question slightly.

The man snorted slightly. "They didn't send you with any offers did they?" He shook his head. "My father always wanted Fanelia to recognize our family as being lords of Fanelia," He turned his head to look at Celena intently, "We seemed to have been forgotten up until now."

Celena sighed softly. "You were." She heard herself admit. "I had to search through Asturia's library to figure out who you were."

The man looked at her intently. "Why weren't we in Fanelia's library?"

Celena stared at the man for a long moment. "It burnt down." She gasped softly, realizing that in this remote area, the man's family may have never even heard of the Great War. "Along with the rest of Fanelia in the Great War."

The man blinked. "The Great War?"

Celena stared at the man in shock. "When was the last time your family was in contact with the rest of the world?"

* * *

Celena sat leaning against a rock by a babbling brook. It was an incredible story really. Four generations ago, Theron's great-grandfather had been deeded this land. By that point in his life, the older man had had quite enough of royalty and life in the royal court, and had been more than happy to disappear into the wilds. The man's son had always been a little strange for one of noble birth, and he and his wife had been more than happy to follow into the wilds. They seemed to have no desire at all for life as nobility. Being fairly close to Asturia's border, the family had brought in an Asturian midwife when Acestes and his sisters had been born. Being the only son, Acestes had inherited the land, and his sisters were married into various families near and far. The family name having not yet vanished into obscurity.

By the time Acestes' father had passed away, revealing to Acestes why the land had been granted to them, Acestes had already married a young Asturian woman – one who wasn't of noble blood at all. This marriage seemed to have fractured the family apart, with Acestes' sisters choosing to ignore the ignoble "fall" of their brother. Hence why Theron considered his Asturian family to all be snobs. Quite simply they wanted nothing to do with their brother's children by a peasant.

Celena shook her head. Theron's mother had passed away while giving birth to his younger sister. A frail creature who had passed away herself when she was only eight years old. It was rather tragic really, Theron and his father, now bittered by estranged family, living alone with a few servants on this isolated piece of land. Time had passed, and Theron's father had taught him as much as possible, hiring tutors and sword masters to educate his son, in the hopes that one day the Fanelian court would remember them. But Acestes had passed away nearly five years ago now, when Theron was twenty-two.

And for all the tutors and lessons that Theron had had, for all the books he read, no one had ever told him or those living on this small parcel of land about the Great War at all. The entire world had been embroiled in conflict, and this small oasis by the sea had remained blissfully unaware. Celena shook her head, closing her eyes as she tilted her head back against the warm rock. It seemed unbelievable, or perhaps surreal. But then again, there were probably small fiefdoms and such scattered across the continent that had had nothing to do with the war. It just seemed strange to her, since she had been right in the middle of it. Her life _was_ the war, or at the least the product of it.

Hermes nuzzled her side, interrupting his grazing to make sure his mistress was still awake. "Yes Hermes." She murmured softly. "We probably should head back." But she didn't move. Theron was full of questions about the Great War, and she didn't quite know how to begin, nor how to explain it. Should it be told from what she remembered of it? As Dilandau? Or should it be told in dry details? She sighed, running her hand through the tall drying grasses by her side. Maybe it was time she faced all her demons.

The sun shone warmly down on the woman hidden between the warm rock she leaned against and the waving grasses. Inside she fought with her past, struggling to make some sort of sense of it, or at least a temporary peace that seemed to her so elusive. Outwardly she was composed and self-assured, as much a knight as her brother had ever been.

Looking down upon the solitary scene the lord Theron was about to intrude upon, one could only wonder if this quiet world so fractured and unsure about its past would be able to survive the future that loomed before it.


End file.
